


Color My World

by beach



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Deception, Double Date, Drinking, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Frottage, Hiking, Injury, M/M, Masturbation, Motorcycles, Parkour, Reversible Couple, for akihito_asami, older uke, younger seme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 143,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5954656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beach/pseuds/beach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the third time the young man on the motorcycle has followed Asami and Takaba home. What are his intentions? And why does he look so sad? The dutiful secretary takes it upon himself to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Warmth of Another (Orange)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akihito_asami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akihito_asami/gifts).



> I wrote this because akihito_asami requested that I write a story about Kirishima and Kou. It's not a pair I usually ship, but it was an interesting challenge. This story does not overlap with my other stories.
> 
> I thought I'd put the notes about Japanese words at the beginning instead of the end this time. Let me know if you'd rather I keep them at the end instead.
> 
> [shōchū](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sh%C5%8Dch%C5%AB\)sh%C5%8Dch%C5%AB:%20Japanese%20liquor%20\(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sh%C5%8Dch%C5%AB): Japanese liquor  
> ojiisan: used to casually address an old man  
> keigo: honorific speech  
> Shinjuku Ni-chōme: Tokyo’s gay district  
> Geinki: a combination of the Japanese words “gei” (gay) and “genki" (energetic, in a good mood)  
> hiyayakko: chilled tofu with savory toppings  
> yakitori: grilled chicken skewers  
> goma-ae: vegetables served with a sesame dressing  
> oshibori: wet towel used to wipe one’s hands  
> fugu: pufferfish – this dish must be prepared very carefully to avoid the poisonous parts of the fish; poorly prepared fugu can be deadly  
> 

Kirishima Kei pulls up to the curb, slides the gearshift to park, and sets the parking brake. He slips out of the driver's seat and opens the back door, bowing as the two passengers exit.

"Goodnight, Asami-sama," he says, holding his bow until the pair have walked past the doorman and entered the building.

As he rises from his bow, his ears catch the familiar hum of a motorcycle. He looks across the street and observes the rider pull up to the opposite curb and watch the pair through the lobby windows as they wait for the elevator. Kirishima notes the license plate. He doesn't have to consult his tablet to know that it's the same rider who has observed the pair three times in the past week.

Today, though, the rider takes his helmet off and wipes beneath his eyes. As he puts the helmet back on, Kirishima slips back into the BMW and puts the car into gear.  He pulls out into traffic, quickly accelerating and shifting smoothly into the flow of the middle lane.

The motorcycle's engine revs, and it flies past Kirishima on the left. Kirishima maneuvers behind it, staying right on its tail. The rider doesn't seem to notice he's being followed. He obeys the speed limit and traffic signals, and Kirishima only has to run one yellow light to stay with him.

The pursuit ends a mere 15 minutes later when the motorcycle pulls into a small parking garage. Kirishima follows him in, parking half a row away from the motorcycle.

The rider takes off his helmet and locks it to the bike before heading out into the night, towards the flashing lights of the bars. Kirishima observes the man carefully, mentally noting the longish black untidy hair, the cheap jeans and jacket, Nike running shoes, slumped shoulders, bowed head, and slow defeated gait. As the man turns a corner, Kirishima finally catches a good glimpse of his face: about 25 years old, clean-shaven, hair short in front, no scars.

Kirishima pulls out his tablet and accesses the dossier on Takaba's friends. The first profile is a match. _Motomi Kou. 25 years old. Freelance graphic designer. Friends with Takaba since early childhood, when his family moved in across the street from Takaba's. Current relationship status: Single. Sexuality: Unknown. Current residence: 1LDK in Musashino._

Kirishima scans the profile as he walks, keeping one eye on Motomi. Motomi passes all the bright, flashy establishments and utterly ignores two hostesses who try to solicit him (none of the hostesses approach Kirishima). When Motomi turns down a dark, narrow alley, Kirishima slips his tablet back in his pocket. He follows Motomi down the alley warily, wondering if the man might have realized he was being followed, after all.

But Motomi shuffles into the smallest, dingiest establishment on the alley. The shop doesn't have a sign. Kirishima's hand slips into his pocket, close to his thigh holster, as he enters.

There's a solitary figure slumped at the four-person counter. The years weigh heavily on the back of the old man behind the counter, and his gravelly wheeze evinces decades of heavy smoking.

Kirishima sits next to Motomi. The bartender looks at him expectantly but doesn't say anything.

"I'll have what he's having," Kirishima says, gesturing to Motomi.

The bartender raises his eyebrows but shrugs. When he hands over the drink, Kirishima notices that the man's grimy thumb is touching the rim of the glass. Kirishima rotates the glass so that the thumb-touched part is opposite of where he'll be drinking.

"Kanpai," Kirishima says, raising the glass. Motomi ignores him. The bartender turns to the sink to wipe another glass with a gray rag. Kirishima closes his eyes, hopes that the drink is of sufficient proof to disinfect anything unseemly on his glass, and takes a tentative sip.

It's shōchū. Kirishima lets the flavors wash over his tongue – sweet potato, oak, black koji – before swallowing.

He opens his eyes to see Motomi eying him curiously.

“You lost?” Motomi asks, taking in Kirishima’s carefully groomed hair, bespoke suit, and manicured hands.

“No, sir. I just wanted to have a drink away from my home this evening.”

Motomi snorts. “We’re two guys drinking at one of the seediest bars in Shinjuku – no offense, Ojiisan” – the old man waves a hand as if to say nothing could offend him – “so using that level of keigo is weird, especially since I’m younger than you and less advanced professionally.”

Kirishima tries to talk more casually. “I’m sorry. I’m used to speaking this way because of my job, but I will try my best.”

Motomi laughs. “Just relax. It’s a bar. There’s no need to ‘try your best.’”

Kirishima’s mind races. _When was the last time I was at a bar? What am I supposed to say?_ He lets the first thing that pops into his mind slip out. “Do you come here often?”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Kirishima inwardly cringes. _That sounded like a lame pick-up line._

Motomi eyes him as he takes a sip of his shōchū. He sets his glass back down. “Ni-chōme’s another half block that way.” He nods in the direction away from where they parked.

 _Well, that makes my job easier._ “Is that where you’re headed?”

“Who knows?” Motomi says morosely.

“Shouldn’t you?”

Motomi shrugs. “In five years, this is the closest I’ve gotten, no matter how drunk I am.”

“Maybe you’re making too big a deal out of it?” Kirishima suggests.

Motomi gulps the rest of his shōchū and signals the bartender for another one. “Probably. What’s your name?”

“My name is Kirishima Kei. What is yours?” _Why did I give him my real name?_ Kirishima adjusts his glasses and takes another sip.

Motomi snorts. “‘Kirishima’, huh? Whatever. I’ll just call you Kei-san, then. And you can call me Kou.”

Kirishima furrows his brow. “Do you find my name funny?”

Kou rolls his eyes. “If you’re going to make up a name, don’t use what you’re drinking.” He finishes his second glass and gestures for a third.

Kirishima reads the label as the bartender pours the drink: _Kuro Kirishima_. He wonders if he should press the issue but decides not to. He shouldn’t have given his real name, anyway.

“Aren’t you consuming those rather quickly, Kou-san?”

Kou shrugs. “Isn’t that why people come to this kind of place? Isn’t that why Kei-san is here?”

Kirishima adjusts his glasses again. “But your evening will be over too soon if you drink that fast.”

“Are you trying to avoid someone at your house?” Kou looks into the depths of his third glass without drinking it.

Kirishima furrows his brow. “No. I live alone. Is there a reason why you thought that?”

“Just wondering why you didn’t want to go home. Going home to an empty house is the pits, eh?” Kou brings the glass to his lips but only takes a small sip this time.

Kirishima is fascinated by the storm of emotions flashing across Kou’s face. _How can he express so much just by slight movements in his brows and eyelids? Loneliness, sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger, guilt… When was the last time I felt so many things at once? Have I ever?_

“What are you thinking?” Kou asks, looking at him curiously.

Kirishima blinks. “Sorry. I guess I spaced out for a moment. I apologize.” He bows slightly. _What am I doing? If Asami-sama ever gets wind of this conversation, I’ll never hear the end of it._ Kirishima picks up his glass and downs the rest of his shōchū.

“Relax,” Kou says. He signals the bartender to refill Kirishima’s glass. Kirishima puts his hand over the top of his glass, but Kou asks, “You’re not ready to go home yet, are you?”

“I suppose not,” Kirishima says. “But I can’t drink very much, so this will be my last one. At least here.”

“So what were you thinking?” Kou presses.

“I was wondering what happened to put so many sad emotions on your face.”

Kou grunts. “Nothing, really.” He takes a gulp.

“In my experience, it’s usually either work, love, or death,” Kirishima prompts.

“No one died,” Kou says.

“So it’s work or love.”

They sip their shōchū in companionable silence for several minutes.

Eventually, Kou breaks the silence. “It’s love for you, Kei-san?”

“What?” Kirishima asks. It’s been so long since either spoke, he’s forgotten the thread of the conversation with all his ruminations over how he should break the silence.

“Is it love trouble that brings you here tonight, on the edge of Ni-chōme, awkwardly trying to pick up a younger man?”

Kirishima chokes and sprays shōchū all over the counter. “I’m very sorry,” he says through his cough, standing and bowing to the bartender.

Without a word, the bartender comes over and starts wiping the counter with the same rag he was using on the dishes.

“Please, let me do that,” Kirishima offers.

But the bartender ignores him and finishes wiping down the counter before returning to the sink.

Meanwhile, Kou is laughing so hard, he grabs onto Kirishima’s shoulder to keep from falling off his stool.

“That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! I can’t believe you did an actual spit-take!”

_His hand feels warm. I wonder, when was the last time someone touched me so casually? I can’t remember. Before high school. Middle school? No, probably elementary school…_

“I was–” Kirishima stops abruptly. If he corrects Kou’s impression that Kirishima was trying to pick him up, Kou will probably stop opening up to him. And he still needs to figure out why Kou has been following Asami and Takaba.

“You were?” Kou prompts.

“I don’t know, actually,” Kirishima says. “My job is very demanding.”

“So you just wanted to let off some steam?” Kou asks. He looks faintly disappointed.

“That’s not it. I don’t find it stressful. I enjoy it. But it doesn’t really leave me any time to pursue a relationship.”

“That sounds lonely,” Kou says. He sips his shōchū.

Kirishima shrugs. “I’m used to it. I don’t know what came over me tonight.”

He’s never felt lonely – not until Kou suggested it, anyway. But now that Kirishima has felt the warmth of another, his shoulder suddenly feels cold. _That’s so odd._

After another moment of silence, Kirishima ventures to ask, “What about you?”

Kou sighs. “Same old story. I know I’m gay, but –” He stops abruptly.

“But?” Kirishima encourages him to continue.

“Sorry. That’s the first time I’ve said that out loud. You’re really easy to talk to, somehow, despite your awkwardness.”

“Thank you,” Kirishima says, bowing slightly.

Kou blushes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as an insult. I just usually find people who use keigo are trying to create a distance, but somehow I don’t mind when you do it. It suits you.”

“I told you; it’s just a habit. I’m trying. But you’re the first person who’s ever said I was easy to talk to.”

“Really? That’s strange.” Kou shrugs.

“So you know you’re gay, but you haven’t had the courage to go to Ni-chōme. Somehow, I get the feeling there’s more to it than that tonight, though,” Kirishima says.

Kou sighs. “You’re right.” He takes another sip of shōchū. “I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself. I always thought one of my childhood friends was gay, too, and I often tried to create opportunities for us to talk about it, but he always acted completely oblivious, like he didn’t even know being gay was a thing. I even suggested we try going to Ni-chōme together once, but he brought it up in front of a few of our other friends, and I had to pass it off as a joke.”

“So maybe he’s not gay,” Kirishima suggests.

Kou takes another sip. He’s nearly done with his glass. “That’s what I had decided, too, and I stopped trying. But last week, I happened to see him with a gorgeous man, and they somehow looked intimate. I followed them to what I can only presume is the man’s home, and the man helped my friend out of the car. I was shocked, but I wondered if maybe I was reading too much into it, so I followed my friend a few more times, and he kept going home with this man. Tonight, I realized that they’re living together.”

“And that makes you sad?” Kirishima asks. He sips his shōchū; he needs to catch up with Kou.

“No. Well, yes, but that’s stupid. It shouldn’t. I should be happy for him.”

“Are you in love with him?”

“No! Definitely not. I’ve never once thought of him like that; he’s like a brother to me. That would be weird. I’m just… jealous, I guess. Here I’ve been struggling for so long, and I tried reaching out to him for help, and he just brushed me off… And somehow he manages to sort it all out and find a gorgeous, successful partner?”

Kirishima nods. “That must be frustrating.”

Kou continues. “I should be happy for him. I _am_ happy for him. But somehow seeing him so happy just reminds me of how miserable I am. And that makes me feel guilty for taking it out on him – especially when it’s my own fault for never having the courage to admit to anyone I’m gay. How _could_ I possibly have a relationship with the way that I am? I’m such a coward.” He downs the rest of his shōchū.

“I think you’re very brave,” Kirishima says. “It takes a lot of courage to face your emotions, even the negative ones that you don’t want to admit to feeling.” _I never pay any attention to my own emotions. I’ve always been afraid that if I let them out once, I’ll never be able to hold them back again._

Kou snorts. He waves to the bartender for another drink, but Kirishima puts his hand over Kou’s glass.

“Let’s continue to be brave, together,” Kirishima suggests. “I’ll walk with you the rest of the way down the block.” He knocks back the rest of his own drink.

“Have you ever been to Ni-chōme before?” Kou asks curiously.

“A few times, with my boss. When we were entertaining clients.”

“You entertain clients in Ni-chōme? What kind of business are you in?” Kou’s mouth is hanging open slightly.

“I work for a corporation that manages several clubs, among other things. My boss is bisexual.” Kirishima shrugs. He pulls out his wallet and indicates to the bartender that he’ll be paying both their tabs.

“Are you a host?” Kou asks suspiciously. “And no thanks.” He pulls out his own wallet and pays his own tab.

Kirishima laughs. The noise echoes off the walls of the small place, and he covers his mouth, embarrassed. “Me? A host? As if someone as awkward as me could ever be a host!”

“I think you’re really easy to talk to. You’re good at making people open up,” Kou says.

“You’re the only one who’s ever thought so in my entire life. I think _you’re_ the one who’s easy to talk to and makes people open up.” Kirishima hesitates but decides to add, “Are you a host?” even though he knows the answer.

“Of course not,” Kou says. “How could I be? I’m a graphic designer.”

“A tortured artist,” Kirishima says as they stand and leave the bar together.

Kou chuckles. “I guess you could say that.”

He hesitates in the alley. Kirishima reaches for his hand. “Come on. Let’s walk.”

Kou takes his hand.

Once again, Kirishima is surprised by how warm it feels. The sensation travels up his arm and down into his belly. He smiles as he leads Kou down to the end of the alley. “See? It’s not so scary. It’s just a place.”

Kou looks around curiously. It really doesn’t look any different from where they just left. He lets Kirishima lead him across the street and down another block, clutching his hand as if it’s a lifeline.

Once they’re a block in, he notices that there are other men holding hands. One couple is standing on the corner, kissing right out in public. Kou gapes at them, then blushes and hurriedly looks to the side. He’s facing an alley, and he can see two shapes pressed against the wall, skin glowing faintly in the dim light cast from the cityscape. He hurriedly glances down at his feet and subconsciously presses closer to Kirishima.

“Do you want to go in?” Kirishima asks as he pulls to a stop. “I know this place. I think you’ll be very comfortable here.”

Kou glances up to see that they’re stopped in front of a small bar with a simple black and white sign that says “Geinki.”

“Geinki? That’s such a bad pun,” Kou says.

“Just don’t tell anyone else it’s your first time. A lot of people like to prey on fresh meat,” Kirishima warns.

Kou gulps but allows Kirishima to pull him inside. Once inside, Kirishima leads the way to a table in the back corner. Kirishima sits so that he can see the room, and Kou sits across from him.

Once again, Kirishima’s hand feels oddly cold after letting go of Kou’s.

“Are you hungry?” Kirishima asks Kou. “This place serves food as well as drinks.”

“I guess,” Kou says. “Do they have a menu?”

“My treat.”

“I couldn’t-”

“To celebrate your first time here. I insist.” Kirishima reaches across to a neighboring table to take its menu. He hands it across to Kou, faintly hoping that their hands will brush.

They don’t.

 _What am I doing?_ Kirishima wonders to himself. “Order whatever you want,” he tells Kou.

“Okay…” Kou says. After looking at the menu for a moment, he asks, “Is there anything you recommend?”

“We could start with the hiyayakko,” Kirishima suggests. “Their yakitori is also very good.”

“Do you like goma-ae?” Kou asks Kirishima.

“Sure. I’m not picky about food,” Kirishima says. “Really, order what you like.”

“You must have a favorite,” Kou presses.

Kirishima pauses to think about it. He usually just orders whatever Asami does when they’re at a business meal – and most of their meals are business meals. When he cooks for himself, he just buys what’s on sale and looks good, preparing it simply and making sure it’s nutritionally balanced.

Kou laughs. “Is it really that hard to think of something? You said the yakitori is good…”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I guess I’m just used to eating whatever’s available. I’m used to letting other people pick.”

Kou hands the menu back to Kirishima. “Then tonight, you have to pick. And no trying to guess what you think I’d like, okay? Just order what you feel like, when you feel like it.”

Kirishima stares at him, mouth agape. He doesn’t take the menu.

“It’s a night for trying new things, right? So try it. I bet you’ll enjoy it once you start.” Kou takes Kirishima’s hand and presses the menu into it.

“Alright,” Kirishima says.

“That’s nice.”

“What is?” Kirishima asks.

“Your smile.”

“Oh.” Kirishima’s face smooths back into its usual expression.

“Oh, don’t stop! Sorry if I embarrassed you. I think you need to relax more. Stop thinking about work when you’re not working.”

“How did you know I do that?” Kirishima asks, surprised. _I didn’t say that, did I?_

“I could just tell. You’re very conscientious.”

The waiter hurries over with warm oshibori. “I’m so sorry for your wait, sirs,” he says, bowing.

Kirishima orders Sion Gold Label beers for them to drink. As soon as the waiter’s gone, he picks up the oshibori and wipes his hands thoroughly.

“That other place was pretty dirty, huh?” Kou says, snickering as he also wipes his hands.

“Did I really look that out of place?” Kirishima asks.

“Kind of,” Kou admits. “But I probably did, too. The only other people I’ve ever seen in that place are old geezers.”

“It seems like it would be a good place to sit and think when you don’t want to be home alone,” Kirishima muses.

“That it is.”

They drink in silence for a few minutes. This time, Kirishima just lets the atmosphere wash over him instead of searching for something to say.

Kou suddenly smiles.

“What is it?” Kirishima asks, smiling back.

“You’re finally relaxing.”

Kirishima can feel his face heating up. _Oh no. I thought I got over this._ When he was a kid, Kirishima was so shy, he’d blush anytime anyone talked to him. And blushing made him more embarrassed, which just made him blush harder, especially once the other kids started teasing him about it.

“Oh no! I had to say something and ruin it for you. I’m sorry. Please relax and enjoy yourself,” Kou says. He reaches over and pats Kirishima’s hand.

Kirishima lets out a slow breath and tries to relax his shoulders.

“That’s better.” Kou smiles encouragingly.

 

Over the next three hours, they eat and drink their fill, alternating periods of conversation with companionable silence.

“Do you like octopus?” Kirishima asks Kou at one point.

Kou clicks his tongue. “You’re not supposed to be thinking about what I might like,” he admonishes Kirishima. “Kei-san needs to order what he wants, remember?”

“How about fugu?" Kirishima asks.

“What did I just say?” Kou says, rolling his eyes.

“I’ve never tried fugu, and I’ve always wanted to,” Kirishima says.

“Really?” Kou says, raising his eyebrows.

Kirishima shrugs sheepishly. “Yeah.”

“Then go ahead and order it. I’ll try some,” Kou says.

When the pufferfish arrives, they both taste it.

“So yummy!” Kou cries.

Kirishima picks up a large piece and puts it on Kou’s plate.

“No, you eat it,” Kou says. “I can tell you like it, too.”

“It’s more fun to watch you enjoy it,” Kirishima says truthfully.

Kou turns red. “How can you say such a line with such a straight face?”

“Sorry,” Kirishima says, bowing slightly.

Kou laughs. “You’re- ” He pauses to search for a word.

“Awkward? Mood-killing?” Kirishima suggests.

Kou frowns. “I was going to say cute, but I was looking for a manlier way to say it.” He reaches across the table and takes Kirishima’s hand. “I already told you, you just need to relax and be yourself. I like you just the way you are, okay?”

It’s Kirishima’s turn to blush, but he doesn’t pull his hand away. He can’t think of anything to say, so he just gazes into Kou’s eyes. Kou apparently doesn’t feel the need to say anything else, either.

After a moment, Kou picks up his chopsticks with his free hand. He lifts the fugu and holds it up to Kirishima, saying, “We can’t let this delicious fugu go to waste, can we?”

Kirishima is about to protest, but it looks like the fugu is going to fall, so he eats it instead. He chews and swallows, then smiles. “Delicious.” He lifts a piece and holds it up for Kou. “You should eat some more, too.”

A large group of rowdy guys enters the bar. Kou says something, but Kirishima can’t hear him.

“What?” he half-shouts.

Kou repeats himself, but Kirishima still can’t hear. He tugs on Kou’s hand. “Come sit by me so we can talk,” he says.

Kou moves over to the chair next to Kirishima’s, pulling it close so he can also reach the small table. Their thighs brush against each other, and Kou presses his against Kirishima’s, smiling.

“Why are you so warm?” Kirishima asks.

Kou laughs. “Why are _you_?”

“Am I?” Kirishima asks, surprised.

“Yeah.” Kou looks up at him. Their faces are inches apart. Suddenly Kou closes the gap, pecking Kirishima on the lips.

He’s pulling away again just as quickly, but Kirishima leans in towards Kou, desperate to recapture the feeling.

This time, when their lips meet, neither pulls away. After a moment, Kirishima opens his mouth. Soon, their tongues are entwined. It’s Kirishima’s first kiss, and from what Kou said, it’s probably his, too. If Kirishima had known kissing felt so good, he would have done it sooner.

They lose all sense of time and place until hooting and applause pulls them back to reality. They pull apart, their faces flushed, and look around.

The whole bar is staring at them. Kou buries his face in his hands. Kirishima waves his hand to say, “Show’s over.” He can feel the blush spreading down to his chest, but he’s too happy to care much. He waves the waiter over to settle the tab. “Let’s go someplace a little quieter,” he suggests.

“Where?” Kou asks. He checks his phone. “Wow, it’s late. I’ve missed the last train.”

“My place is within walking distance – a long walk, but walkable,” Kirishima says. “I have a spare futon.”

They walk hand in hand, Kirishima leading the way.

“Did you walk to the bar?” Kou asks curiously.

“No. I parked my car in a parking garage. I’ll have to get it in the morning. I drank too much to drive home.”

“Same here. Well, my motorcycle, not my car,” Kou says.

“Is it fun to ride a motorcycle?” Kirishima asks curiously. _Another thing I’ve never even wondered about before tonight. There’s so much of the world I haven’t really paid attention to._

“It’s awesome! The wind in your face, the feeling of freedom… I’ll take you for a ride sometime,” Kou promises.

As they pass a convenience store, Kou pauses and asks, “Do you need any… supplies?”

“Supplies?” Kirishima asks blankly.

Kou flushes. “Supplies. Um… Never mind.”

It takes a moment, but Kirishima cottons on. He blushes even more than Kou does. “I- um-”

“Sorry, that was presumptuous of me. I’ve never done this kind of thing before,” Kou says miserably, looking down at his feet.

Kirishima gently lifts Kou’s chin with a finger. “It’s alright. Relax. Just be yourself.” Kou smiles. “I’ve never done this kind of thing before either. That was my first kiss back there.”

“Yours, too?” Kou asks in astonishment.

Kirishima nods. “So let’s take it slow, okay? Do _you_ need anything?”

Kou looks at him curiously.

“Maybe a toothbrush? Clean underwear? And we should probably get something for breakfast…”

They walk into the convenience store still holding hands, but when the clerk looks at them curiously, they realize and let go quickly.

“I’ll get a toothbrush; you can go get anything else you need,” Kirishima suggests.

They meet back at the front of the store. The clerk eyes their items and says casually, “The condoms are on aisle 3, towards the back, bottom shelf.”

Kirishima chokes, even though there’s nothing in his mouth. Kou pats him on the back and tells the clerk, “Thanks, but we’re good.”

The clerk shrugs and rings them up.

“I can never shop there again,” Kirishima says once they’re outside.

“He didn’t seem to care,” Kou says. “I doubt he’ll even remember you.”

“Maybe,” Kirishima says skeptically.

When they get to Kirishima’s apartment, Kou reads the nameplate. “Your name really is Kirishima,” he says, surprised.

Kirishima looks at him and shrugs.

“Sorry. I should have known you weren’t the kind of guy to give a fake name, Kei-san.”

“Is your name really Kou?” Kirishima asks, even though he knows it is.

“Yes. Motomi Kou. Nice to meet you.” Kou bows.

“I think I’m rubbing off on you.” Kirishima chuckles.

“That’s not a bad thing,” Kou says.

Once inside, Kirishima makes some oolong tea. As they drink it, Kou looks around curiously. “You really don’t spend a lot of time here, do you? It hardly looks lived in.”

Kirishima shrugs. “I told you, I work a lot. Sixty to eighty hours a week, sometimes more.”

“Your boss must be tough,” Kou says sympathetically.

“Actually, he’s always telling me to take more time off, especially recently, now that he’s in a relationship,” Kirishima says. “But I need to make sure everything gets done.”

“Do you have any employees under you? Can you delegate some of your responsibilities?”

“Probably, if I thought they’d get done right.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t give them a chance,” Kou says.

“That’s true,” Kirishima concedes. “I used to think that all I needed was work, but I’m beginning to realize there’s a lot more of the world I want to see.”

“What changed your mind?” Kou asks curiously.

“You.”

Kou blushes. “Again with the cheesy pick-up line.”

“I’m serious. Ni-chōme. Fugu. Motorcycles. And that was in just a few hours.”

Kou smiles. “You opened up my world, too. I can’t believe I actually went to Ni-chōme. Now I’m wondering why on earth I made it such a big deal. And fugu. And kissing.” He shyly leans towards Kirishima, and Kirishima happily leans back towards Kou.

After an hour, they settle back against the sofa for more tea.

“You can bathe first. Do you want a bath or a shower?” Kirishima asks.

“I’ll just take a quick shower,” Kou says.

 

Kou emerges from the shower with the towel wrapped around his waist. “Sorry, I didn’t think to buy pajamas,” he says.

“I can lend you some.” Kirishima pulls out a t-shirt and pajama pants and hands them to Kou.

When Kirishima emerges from his own shower, Kou is sitting on the couch waiting for him.

“Sorry, I should have gotten out your futon before I went in,” Kirishima says. He rubs his hair with a towel.

“Your hair looks so soft. Can I touch it?” Kou asks.

“Sure.”

Kou rubs his hand over Kirishima’s cropped hair. “It’s even softer than I imagined,” he says. His hand dips down and brushes Kirishima’s ear.

Kirishima shivers.

“Are your ears sensitive?” Kou asks, stroking it again.

A soft moan escapes from Kirishima’s mouth. He covers his mouth, embarrassed.

Kou smiles. He leans forward and sucks on Kirishima’s earlobe. Kirishima gets his revenge by sucking on Kou’s jawline. Soon, they’re engrossed in another make-out session.

After several minutes, Kirishima briefly pulls away. He glances at the clock. It’s three a.m. “It’s getting late. What time do you have to be up in the morning?”

Kou shrugs. “That’s one of the advantages of being a freelancer. I don’t have any appointments tomorrow. What about you?”

“I start at noon tomorrow,” Kirishima says. He usually goes in at ten, but he doesn’t _have_ to be there until noon. It won’t kill him to go in on time for once.

“Then we should get you to bed soon,” Kou says.

Kirishima leads him into the bedroom. He pulls out the guest futon for Kou, but they end up on Kirishima’s bed, making out some more. They fall asleep, bodies pressed together, enjoying one another’s warmth.


	2. The Next Morning (Red)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima and Kou wake up having sobered up. How will they feel about what happened last night in the light of morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note the change in rating. This chapter is (I think) the most explicit one I've had yet (see the tags).
> 
> I was supposed to work on my (Checklist) Valentine's fic today, but this one woke me up at 4:30 this morning and wouldn't let me stop until I finished the next chapter. I don't know how long this one will be... maybe 5 chapters?
> 
> I added Akihito to the tags, but he won't show up until next chapter (which will be at least partially from Kou's perspective, because I have to be a fly on that wall... You'll know which wall when you finish this chapter!).
> 
> Vocabulary:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> tachi: seme/top  
> neko: uke/bottom  
> riba: reversible/versatile (can be either top or bottom)  
> "the family": self-reference among gays (in Japanese, it would be 'kochi', apparently, but I don't speak Japanese and it's not a literal enough translation for me to just drop the word into an English sentence...)
> 
> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation (some random person Asami is meeting that currently has little relevance to the story; I just don't want to accidentally reuse the name, so I'm listing it...)

Kirishima awakens slowly. His bed is so warm this morning, it makes him want to linger. He feels something stir beside him and opens his eyes.

He sees unruly black hair and blushes as the events of the previous evening come rushing back to him. Kou stirs again, and he rolls over to face Kirishima as his eyes flutter open.

“Good morning, Kei-san,” Kou says shyly.

“Good morning,” Kirishima says awkwardly. _What am I supposed to do now?_ Kirishima wonders. _Should I kiss him? But I’m sure I have morning breath…_

“What time is it?” Kou yawns.

Kirishima glances towards the clock, but he can’t make out the time without his glasses.

Kou leans over him to see. “It’s nine o’clock. You said you have to be at work at noon. How long does it take to get there?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Lucky!” Kou cries.

“Your commute is fifteen seconds, right?” Kirishima counters.

“Oh, yeah. But all of my clients are at least half an hour away. Most are an hour or more.”

Kou settles back down, laying his head on Kirishima’s chest.

“It’s weird, I don’t really feel tired despite how late we stayed up.”

“Same here,” Kirishima says, though six hours is actually more sleep than he usually gets.

Kou’s bare shoulder looks cold. Kirishima tentatively reaches a hand out to pull the covers up over it.

“Relax, remember? You can be yourself around me,” Kou mumbles.

Kirishima sighs and brings his arm down across Kou’s back. _Be myself? I’ve never known what people mean by that. How can I possibly be anyone else?_

Kou suddenly giggles.

“What?” Kirishima asks, smiling, though he doesn’t know why.

“I’m just happy,” Kou says.

“Me too.” Kirishima kisses the top of Kou’s head.

“Do you think it was fate that brought us both to that bar last night?” Kou asks, shifting so that he’s now lying half on top of Kirishima. His leg brushes against Kirishima’s crotch.

Kirishima freezes, his brain short-circuiting for two very different reasons. _I can never tell him I followed him there._

Kou feels Kirishima stiffen, but he chalks it up to a certain part of Kirishima stiffening.

“Don’t worry; I’m the same way,” he whispers. He shifts again, and Kirishima can feel something pressing into his leg.

All worry about who Kou is flies out of Kirishima’s brain. He forgets about morning breath and leans down and kisses Kou.

The intensity quickly ramps up beyond anything that they experienced last night, and Kou shifts so that he’s lying fully on top of Kirishima. Kirishima widens his legs to facilitate closer contact, and soon they’re moving in a quick rhythm.

“Wai– That’s too – ah!” Kirishima gasps. He covers his face with his hand.

“It’s alright. I’m nearly there, too,” Kou says. He caresses Kirishima’s cheek and kisses him. Kou’s hand wanders down and squeezes Kirishima’s nipple.

Kirishima wraps his arms around Kou’s shoulders and pulls him closer. A few seconds later, Kou is pulled over the edge, too, and he collapses on Kirishima.

Kou shifts to the side, and Kirishima can feel the wetness on his leg through his pajama pants. He fidgets uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry. Was that too much? You said you wanted to go slow,” Kou worries.

“It felt good. It’s just… I want to take a shower now.”

Kou chuckles. “I understand. You go first, okay, Kei-san?”

Kirishima heads to the bathroom. As he’s rinsing off, his mind is whirling. _What am I doing? He’s ten years younger than me. When I was starting college, he was in third grade. And he’s Takaba’s best friend! What will Takaba say? What will Asami-sama say? What will_ Kou _say? What if he never wants to see me again? I hope the undersecretaries are able to get everything set up. They handle it fine on my days off, but I should have told them I wasn’t coming in early today. I wonder when I can see Kou-san again. How much can I cut back on my working hours without making Asami-sama suspicious? He’s always telling me to do so, but this is the first time I’ve wanted to._

When Kirishima exits the bathroom, he goes to pick up the pajama bottoms and underwear he left just outside, but they’re not there. He heads out to the living room.

“I started a load of laundry,” Kou tells him. “The pajamas and sheets.”

“Thank you,” Kirishima says, bowing.

Kou smiles. “I would have started cooking, too, but I can’t even cook rice.”

“I’ll teach you,” Kirishima offers.

 

Kirishima stands behind Kou and looks over Kou's shoulder as he reaches around on both sides to help wash the rice. While the rice is cooking, they engage in another brief make-out session before Kirishima reluctantly pulls away.

“We should get the rest of the food ready.” He teaches Kou how to steam fish and make miso soup. He pulls out some leftover vegetables from the fridge, and they’re soon sitting at the table ready to eat.

Kirishima presses his hands together, bows his head, and says, “Itadakimasu.”

Kou copies him, but before either can pick up their chopsticks, Kirishima’s phone rings.

“Go ahead and start,” he tells Kou before answering the phone.

Kirishima walks into his bedroom to take the call. It’s his assistant, Morita.

“Fuku-shacho-san! Just making sure everything is alright.”

“Yes, everything is fine. I’ll be in at noon today.”

“Oh. Yes, fuku-shacho-san! Is there anything you need done before you arrive?”

“Just the usual,” Kirishima says.

“Yes, fuku-shacho-san! Sorry for disturbing you.”

Kirishima chuckles as he heads back to the table. Kou looks at him curiously.

“Just my subordinate, making sure I’m not dead,” Kirishima explains.

“You shouldn’t joke about something like that. It’s bad luck,” Kou chides.

“Sorry,” Kirishima says. He clasps his hands together and says “Itadakimasu” again. As he picks up his chopsticks, Kou does the same. “You didn’t start,” Kirishima observes.

“I wanted to wait for you.” Kou takes a bite of fish. “Oh, wow, this is amazing! So moist. And it was so easy to make, I really feel like I could do it by myself.”

They linger over the meal, alternating periods of casual conversation with silence.

 

After breakfast, they sit on the couch in the living room.

“How old are you, Kei-san?” Kou asks curiously.

“Thirty-five.”

“Wow, that’s ten years older than me. You don’t look that old.”

“Thank you.” Kirishima bows.

Kou blushes. “Sorry, I’m not saying you’re old, but you look younger. Especially without your glasses.”

“How long have you had your motorcycle?” Kirishima asks.

“I got my current one when I was 20, but I got my first one when I was sixteen,” Kou explains.

Kirishima raises his eyebrows in surprise. “So young.”

“I grew up in Yokohama. I worked part-time when I was 15, and I saved up to get my license and buy a small, used motorcycle so I could do deliveries for my uncle’s restaurant. He paid more per hour, but he said I had to provide my own ride, and my parents told me I had to pay for it myself.”

“It sounds like they were strict.”

Kou shrugs. “No stricter than anyone else, I think. They just wanted me to appreciate the value of money. It also taught me how to be disciplined with my time, which has really helped with working from home. What about your parents? You’re very conscientious. Were they strict?”

Kirishima shrugs. “Not especially. They make kimonos, so I had to help out in the shop. Those kinds of traditional shops put a strong emphasis on manners. And then I got a scholarship to a private high school that was a bit strict.”

“You didn’t want to go into the family trade?”

“I have two older brothers and an older sister who all work at my parents’ shop, but my eyesight has always been bad, and the eye doctor said it would make it worse if I tried to do the detailed work required. Besides, I’ve always been a bit clumsy with my hands. It took a lot of practice to get decent handwriting, and I can’t draw at all.”

“I noticed you couldn’t even read your clock. Have you ever thought of getting that laser surgery?”

“I wanted to, but the surgeon said I’m not a good candidate for it, unfortunately. I can’t wear contacts, either, but I’ve been wearing glasses for so long, I’m used to it.”

“Glasses suit you,” Kou says, kissing Kirishima.

Five minutes later, they’re interrupted by the beeping of Kirishima’s phone.

“I have to start getting ready for work,” Kirishima says regretfully. He pulls out his ironing board and a suit.

“It looks like it’s already been pressed,” Kou comments.

“I press my clothes as they come out of the laundry, but I like to touch them up again just before I wear them.”

Kou grabs a pad of paper and a pencil. Kirishima raises his eyebrows.

“Oh. Sorry. I borrowed this while you were in the shower. When I’m feeling happy – or sad or mad or anything, really – I like to draw.”

“What are you drawing?” Kirishima asks curiously, trying to see. _I’m glad I keep my guns in the hidden safe._

Kou lifts the pad higher so Kirishima can’t see. “I’ll show you when I’m done, okay?”

Kirishima focuses on his ironing. Occasionally, he glances at Kou, and every time, it seems like Kou hurriedly looks down at the paper.

“Are you drawing me?” Kirishima finally asks.

“Maybe…” Kou says sheepishly.

As Kirishima finishes ironing each piece of clothing, he puts it on. He feels a bit self-conscious. _It’s just like changing at the gym or the onsen_ , he admonishes himself. But Kou’s gaze feels almost like a caress.

“Kei-san, about earlier…”

Kirishima looks up.

Kou looks uncomfortable, but he presses on. “I mean, when we woke up… You said you wanted to take it slow, and you said you were fine, but I just wanted to make sure you’re really okay with what happened. It sounded like you wanted to slow down, but by the time I figured it out…” Kou makes a vague gesture.

Kirishima blushes. “It really was fine. It was just a bit overwhelming, and I knew I was close to finishing.”

“You’re not just saying that, are you? I want to make sure you’re comfortable, and not just trying to please me.”

“It’s fine. I’m not a girl.”

“Guys can say no, too, you know… Are you a tachi or a neko?”

Kirishima coughs. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. What about you?” _It felt good when Kou-san took the lead, but I’m older. Should I step up and be more assertive?_

“I’m not sure, either. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think you can really know until you try, can you? And what’s wrong with doing both if both feel good?” Kou blushes.

“That’s true,” Kirishima says. He’s never really watched or read any type of porn, but Asami has exposed him to more sex than he’s ever really wanted to hear through his years driving Asami around Tokyo (privacy glass is not soundproof, especially not at the volume Asami elicits from his partners). _Takaba certainly sounds like he’s thoroughly enjoying himself._ Kirishima blushes at the thought and refocuses on his ironing.

When Kirishima’s dressed for work, Kou shows him the sketch he made. It shows Kirishima from the waist up, naked. He’s not wearing his glasses, and he’s got a shy smile on his face.

“It doesn’t look like me,” Kirishima says.

“Of course it does!” Kou protests, snatching the picture back. “This is _exactly_ how you look, cute and shy and serious.”

“I’m not cute,” Kirishima protests.

“Yes, you are. You just have to accept it,” Kou says, standing on tiptoes to kiss him on the nose.

“I’ve got to get my car before work,” Kirishima says, pulling away reluctantly. “Can I have your number?”

“Of course. When can I see you again?” Kou asks.

“I won’t finish work until at least two a.m. tonight,” Kirishima says. “I don’t have to go in until noon again tomorrow, though.”

Kou pulls out his phone and looks at his calendar. He frowns. “I have a client meeting tomorrow at nine. It’s in Sagamihara, so I won’t be back until at least noon.”

“Sorry. My hours are different than most people’s because of the nature of our business,” Kirishima says.

“It’s fine. I mostly make my own hours, so it’ll work out. What about Friday morning?”

Kirishima pulls out his own calendar. There are meetings scheduled from noon until midnight, and there’s a shipment due to arrive at the harbor at 3am Saturday. “The weekends are really busy for me,” he explains.

“Then you’ll need to recover on Monday. How about next Tuesday?” Kou asks.

“That’s nearly a week away.” Kirishima frowns. “I’ll see if I can get away at least for lunch or dinner sometime during the weekend. Message me when you’re free, and I’ll let you know when I can sneak away.”

Kou smiles. He follows Kirishima outside. “Are you parked near the bar?” he inquires.

“Yes, in a parking garage about a block or two away. How about you?” Kirishima asks, keeping up the ruse that he just ran into Kou at the bar.

“The same. Can we go there together?” Kou blushes. “I don’t really remember which direction we walked last night.”

Kirishima smiles. He goes to reach for Kou’s hand, but one of his neighbors exits his own apartment, so Kirishima leads the way silently. “Let’s take the train,” he suggests. “It’ll be faster.”

When they get to the parking garage, Kou says, “I’m in here.”

“Me too,” Kirishima says.

“Wow, it really does seem like fate. We both walked past about fifty other places to get to that hole in the wall,” Kou says.

“Well, I kept walking until I saw someone who looked too sad and lonely and cute to pass by.”

Kou blushes. “I was pretty lame last night, huh? Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad I met you.” Kirishima glances around and sees that they’re the only people in the parking garage. He leans in for a quick kiss.

They reach Kou’s motorcycle first, and Kou insists that Kirishima try sitting on it.

When he gets off, Kirishima gives Kou one more kiss and says, “Drive safely, Kou-san.”

“You, too, Kei-san.”

Kirishima watches Kou ride off before getting into the Sion company car. He doesn’t want to risk Kou recognizing the car that Asami and Takaba have been riding in.

 

Kirishima pulls into the Sion parking garage and sees Asami just getting out of his car. He rushes so that he can ride up the elevator with Asami.

“Good morning, Asami-sama,” he says, bowing.

“Good morning, Kirishima. You’re running late this morning.”

“I thought I’d finally take your advice to delegate more,” Kirishima says.

Asami smirks. “I see you put your time to good use. Was it an extraordinarily passionate woman or a passionate man?”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima asks. He can feel the blush crawling across his face.

“Your neck is covered with kiss marks. Your collar hides most of them, but I can see the tops of at least six,” Asami says.

“I apologize for my unprofessional demeanor, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says, bowing.

Asami waves off the apology. “It’s about time you enjoyed yourself. Just make sure to give the details of your partner to Suoh for a background check.” It’s Sion policy that outside relationships – particularly of a romantic nature – are screened for senior employees, to help prevent infiltration by corporate spies (or worse).

“The person in question has already been cleared,” Kirishima replies.

Asami raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? Do I know them?”

“I don’t believe you do,” Kirishima says.

“Well, it’s still company policy that you verify it with Suoh. No exceptions, even for you or me,” Asami says.

Kirishima nearly laughs but manages to turn it into a cough. _Like you followed company policy when you let Takaba into your home after your third meeting when he was clearly on the ‘dangerous to Sion’ list._

Asami chuckles. “I can tell what you’re thinking even behind that poker face. You’re right. But that’s why I consulted with you and Suoh, to mitigate the risk.”

“Fine. I’ll talk to Suoh-san,” Kirishima says. _Kazumi is surely going to tell Asami-sama, and I’m never going to hear the end of this._ He sighs.

“Lovesick already?” Asami smirks.

“That’s not it,” Kirishima says. “I only–” He stops abruptly. _If I tell him I just met the person last night, he’ll just tease me more and get way too curious about it._

Asami raises his eyebrows.

“Never mind. You have a meeting with Suzuki-san of Z Corporation in fifteen minutes. Did you receive the report from Morita-kun?”

“Yes. Your staff is very capable, you know. You really need to learn to rely on them more so they feel useful.”

“Yes, Asami-sama. Thank you.” Kirishima bows again.

As soon as Asami is safely in his meeting, Kirishima browses through the security program, picking out nine additional profiles that need updating (either because they haven’t been updated recently or their interactions with Sion now require a more thorough check). He sends the list to Suoh with Kou’s name in the middle of the list.

He quickly gets a message back. “Thanks, Kei. Asami-sama told me to expect one file from you. You’ve been busy, haven’t you?”

_When did Asami-sama have time to tell Kazumi? I was hoping Kazumi would already be done with all the screenings by the time Asami-sama followed up with him._

 

An hour later, Suoh drops by his office. “I’ve nearly finished updating the security profiles, but I had a quick question about Motomi Kou’s. Should I change his sexuality from ‘unknown’ to ‘homosexual’?”

Kirishima freezes. He fights to keep the blush from crawling over his face by multiplying thirty-seven times forty-three in his head. “That–” he starts but stops when Suoh snaps a picture of him with his cell phone. “What are you doing?” he splutters.

Suoh is laughing. “That was even better than I thought it would be! I knew if I asked by e-mail, you’d find a way to dodge the question. I’m sending this to Ryuichi.”

“What are you sending me?” Asami asks as he passes by the office.

“Check out Kei’s face.” Suoh chortles, showing him the picture. “Apparently his partner last night was Motomi Kou, Takaba’s friend.”

“What makes you think that? I gave you a list of ten names to update.” Kirishima tries desperately to deflect.

“His was the only one that didn’t actually need updating. You’re too conscientious,” Suoh says.

“I didn’t want to waste your time,” Kirishima mutters. “Though you seem to have plenty to waste…”

“Motomi Kou…” Asami says.

“Have you met him?” Suoh asks.

“No. He’s featured in a number of Takaba’s wilder stories of his escapades, though. So that was his motorcycle?”

Kirishima’s face falls. “You noticed, Asami-sama?”

Asami gives him a look that says “of course.” “Why has he been following us?”

“He saw you with Takaba-kun and thought you looked intimate, and he was worried about his friend. Yesterday, he pieced together that you’re living together,” Kirishima answers as truthfully as he can without violating Kou’s confidence.

“Will he be a problem?”

“He said he’s happy for Takaba-kun. Given his own sexuality –” Suoh gives a short bark of laughter, but Kirishima presses on, “– I don’t think he’ll be any trouble at all.”

“Is he in love with Takaba?” Asami asks.

“No. He said they’re like brothers. Besides…” Kirishima trails off as his face flushes.

Suoh tugs on Kirishima’s collar and tries to peek at his neck. “Besides, you certainly have deflected his interest, eh? Sheesh, how many kiss marks did you get in one night?”

“Shut up, Kazumi,” Kirishima snaps, trying to pull away.

“I’m glad my cousin is finally growing up, but don’t go crazy, okay?” Suoh pats him on the back. “You do know how to protect yourself, right?”

“Shut. Up.” Kirishima mutters through gritted teeth, his face flaming. _Jerk. Don’t embarrass me in front of the boss just because you’re seven years older than me._

“It’s important, especially when your partner’s a man. Right, Ryuichi?” Suoh presses.

“Leave him alone, Suoh,” Asami orders. His use of the last name indicates that playtime is over. After Suoh leaves, Asami tells Kirishima in a low voice, “Knowing you, you’re going to research the heck out of it, and there’s a lot of misinformation out there – some of it’s dangerous, but most of it will just needlessly scare you. I’ll have a decent book delivered to your house, okay? Just don’t read too much. This is one of those things best learned by experience.” He laughs and claps Kirishima on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family.”

He turns to head out the door, but Kirishima calls out at the last second, “Um, Asami-sama?” Asami pauses. “Could you please not tell Takaba-kun about this?”

“Are you asking me to lie?”

Kirishima gulps. “No. Just… I pretended like I met Kou-san by chance. I thought it would be easier to figure out his motives if he didn’t know who I was.”

“I won’t bring it up myself, but if Takaba mentions it, I’m not going to deny knowing about it,” Asami says, striding from the room.

“Fair enough.”

Once he’s alone, Kirishima buries his head in his arms. When his phone beeps indicating a message, he groans, thinking it’s Suoh harassing him some more. But he looks and sees that it’s from Kou instead.

_Hi! Sorry for disturbing you at work. I’m sending my schedule now. Hope we can meet again soon. Work hard._

Kirishima smiles. He texts back.

_Hi. Thanks for the schedule. I hope we can meet soon, too – I’ll message you as soon as I figure out a time. Work hard._

He frowns. The message doesn’t sound very good, but he can’t figure out how to improve it, so he sends it anyway. He gets a reply a few seconds later.

_I was actually hoping to run something by you…_

_What’s up?_

_Remember that friend I mentioned?_

_The one you just figured out is living with a guy?_

_Yeah… I really want to tell someone about meeting you, and I thought he’d be safe to tell. Would you mind?_

Kirishima freezes. _No. No, no, no. Definitely not._ But his fingers type

_No problem._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, yeah. I changed the name of the fic because the first chapter's title was fine for a chapter, but not great for a longer work. I stink at titles...


	3. A Whole Latté Drama (Yellow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kou and Akihito meet for coffee, and Kou is anxious to talk about his new relationship -- and finally learn about Akihito's. Will they figure out that Kou's Kei-san is Asami's secretary Kirishima?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on the next chapter of Bittersweet Valentine (I've got about half of it done). Both that chapter and this one were a struggle, so I kept switching back and forth between them whenever I got stuck (which often meant I would reread one, then the other, then the first one again, then go check AO3 for new fics, not read any of the new fics because I should be writing, then reread the second, then maybe finally get one more sentence written...).
> 
> This fic takes place in the current manga-universe (obviously not in the current chapter, because Akihito has been stuck at the penthouse for a year... but given how angsty Aki is here, I guess it takes place sometime in the current arc). I don't like angsty Aki, so maybe that's why this chapter was such a struggle -- but this fic wouldn't work in my Checklist universe, so we're stuck with angsty Aki.
> 
> Anyway. Only one Japanese term this time (I defined one in context because it's a pun, and the rest I think you can figure out on your own).
> 
> [Geta: elevated wooden sandals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geta_%28footwear%29)
> 
> Note: When Kou talks about how clingy Akihito says Asami is, he's referencing the time Aki told him he didn't want to use the key Asami left on his door after stealing all of Aki's stuff.
> 
> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation (some random person Asami is meeting that currently has little relevance to the story; I just don't want to accidentally reuse the name, so I'm listing it...)  
> Kana: Takato's wife (same name, not necessarily same character as in my Checklist universe)

Kou arrives at their usual café fifteen minutes before the scheduled time. Instead of their usual table by the window, he sits in the booth at the back corner.

Akihito arrives right on time. He heads toward their usual table, and Kou calls out to him.

“Why’d you sit back here?” Akihito asks curiously, sitting across from Kou.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Kou says. He’s a little nervous for some reason, even though he knows that Akihito will accept him. Or _should_ accept him, unless he’s a complete and utter hypocrite. Which Kou knows he isn’t.

Akihito grins as he eyes Kou carefully. “You finally got a girlfriend?” he guesses.

Kou flushes. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh, come on. Your neck is covered in kiss marks. In that t-shirt, it’s like you’re deliberately flaunting them.”

Kou’s hand flies to his neck. “I didn’t realize,” he says, turning even redder.

Akihito laughs. The waitress comes over and takes their drink orders. When she’s gone, Akihito asks, “So what’s her name?”

“Why did you say ‘finally’?” Kou asks, suddenly frowning.

Akihito shrugs. “You’re _always_ saying ‘I’m not _currently_ seeing anyone,’ but you’ve never once actually said you _are_ seeing someone. I’ve never even really seen you flirt with anyone. Am I wrong?”

Kou shakes his head. “But we just met last night, so I don’t know if you can call Kei-san my…” He trails off. What word would he use for someone he were dating seriously? Not girlfriend. Boyfriend? Partner? Lover?

Akihito interrupts his train of thought. “Kei-san? Is that short for Keiko?”

“No.” Kou can feel his face heating up. “Kei-san is a man.”

“Oh.” Akihito blinks at him.

The waitress arrives with their drinks, and Akihito takes a big sip, chokes, and starts coughing.

“Is it really that shocking?” Kou asks.

“No. Yes!” Akihito splutters. “The fact that you just said it so bluntly like that… And considering how you were in high school and college…”

“What do you mean?” Kou asks.

“You were always talking about which girls were hot. And you even made fun of me that one time, inviting me to Ni-chōme so that I would tell the others when I didn’t know what it was!”

“I wasn’t making fun of you,” Kou says hotly. “You were the one who told other people so I had to play it off as a joke. Thanks to that, I only made it to Ni-chōme for the first time last night.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me what it was? Then I would have known to keep it a secret, and I would have gone with you,” Akihito says.

“I thought you knew! Did you grow up under a rock or something?”

“That’s mean.”

Kou buries his face in his hands. “Are you seriously telling me all those times I tried to bring this up with you, you actually _were_ totally clueless? It wasn’t an act?”

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you know me. I wouldn’t pretend.”

Kou sighs. “I’ve been trying to tell you for _years_. I’d basically given up on ever being able to, until…” He trails off. After a moment, he picks up his latté and takes a calming sip.

“Until today?” Akihito finishes for him. “What made you change your mind? And to come out with it so bluntly…”

“I figured out where you’re staying,” Kou explains.

Akihito stares at him. “How? When?”

“I was riding through Shinjuku, and I saw you when you arrived home last night.”

“I- that was-” Akihito fumbles.

“You don’t have to hide it. His name is Asami-san, right? He’s the one who left that key at your old place, right? Now I know why you were so reluctant to move in with him.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Akihito asks, eyes narrowing.

Kou tries not to smile. “There’s no way you can afford half the rent of the broom closet in that building, and I can’t see you being happy as a kept man.”

“I’m not a kept man!” Akihito splutters. “I- I- I’m going to move as soon as I save up the moving expenses! This is just temporary, because of Ai’s stalker case. And I do all the chores and pay for the groceries!”

Kou starts laughing in earnest. “Isn’t that the definition of a kept man?” he teases.

“Shut up,” Akihito says, crumpling a napkin and tossing it at him. “I said it’s temporary!”

“You left my place six months ago,” Kou points out. “How long does it take to save the moving expenses?”

“I’ve been busy,” Akihito mutters.

Kou reaches out and pulls back the collar of Akihito’s open button-down shirt, revealing a row of kiss marks. “I see,” he snickers.

Akihito blushes. “At least I have the sense to hide them.”

“I didn’t know I have them!” Kou defends himself.

“Ever heard of a mirror?” Akihito asks.

“I was kind of in a rush this morning. Kei-san had to go to work.”

Akihito stares at him. “I thought you said you just met last night.”

“We did,” Kou says.

“And you stayed at a love hotel?”

“No. I missed the last train, so I stayed at Kei-san’s house.”

“So you just went home with some strange guy you met in Shinjuku?” Akihito chides.

“We talked for a long time, and he was really nice. I could tell he wasn’t a bad guy,” Kou protests.

“You’re lucky he wasn’t a host trying to con you out of all your money. You did check your wallet, didn’t you?”

“Aki! That’s really uncalled for. Kei-san is nice. Besides, I could tell he makes a lot more money than me. If anything, he’s the one who should have been worried about _me_ conning _him_.”

“But you’re not like that,” Akihito points out.

“And neither is Kei-san. I really like him,” Kou says. “We’re meeting again… soon. He works a lot, but he wants to see me this weekend if he can get away from work.”

“What does he do?” Akihito asks curiously.

“He’s a salaryman, I think,” Kou says. He frowns slightly. “I didn’t ask too much about it, but he has a lot of responsibility, so I think he’s some kind of manager. He said his company manages some clubs… among other things.”

Akihito’s eyebrows shoot up. “That definitely sounds suspicious. You know a lot of clubs in Shinjuku are run by the yakuza, right?”

“Aki! He’s not yakuza! He’s like the total opposite! I swear, sometimes I think your job has made you really jaded.”

“I’m just trying to look out for you,” Akihito protests. “Maybe you should ask for his business card next time. Do you know his last name? I could do a background search for you.”

“I don’t want you to do a background search!” Kou exclaims. “Kei-san will tell me himself. Sheesh, Aki. Is it because he’s a guy? You’re seeing a guy, too.”

“That has nothing to do with it.” Akihito takes a sip of his drink. He sets it down and sighs. “Or maybe it does. You’re right; I didn’t act like this when Takato met Kana. But they met in college – not at some shady bar in Shinjuku. Anyway, I’m sorry.”

“I do know his last name,” Kou says in a conciliatory tone. He snickers softly. “Actually, I thought at first he gave me a fake name, but when we got to his apartment, I realized it actually _was_ his last name.” He smiles.

“It sounded that fake?” Akihito asks. “What is it?” _Maybe it_ is _fake; it’s not like your nameplate can’t be a fake name._ He chides himself for being so suspicious.

“It didn’t really sound fake, but it was the same name as the shōchū we were drinking, Kirishima.”

Akihito’s eyes bug out. “Kirishima?!” He splutters.

“Do you know him?” Kou stares at him in surprise.

“Asami’s secretary is named Kirishima, but I don’t know his first name. But there are probably a lot of Kirishimas in Tokyo.” _But I wonder how many there are that work for a company that manages clubs ‘among other things.’_ _Should I warn Kou? But I just said he was Asami’s secretary…_

Kou eyes him curiously. “That would be quite a coincidence. What does Asami-san do, anyway?”

“He’s the president of a company,” Akihito says vaguely. He searches desperately for a way to change the topic, but Kou asks the inevitable next question.

“Does his company manage clubs?”

Akihito shrugs. “I think… maybe? Probably. They own a lot of different businesses.”

“Kei-san _did_ say that his boss is bisexual. That would be quite a coincidence!” Kou says.

“Why did his boss’s sexuality even come up?” Akihito asks. He looks a little hurt.

“Sorry. Did you not know? Or maybe we’re not talking about the same person? Anyway, I asked Kei-san if he’d ever been to Ni-chōme before, and he said he’d been there to entertain clients. When I asked what kind of company would do that, he said his company manages clubs and his boss is bisexual.” Kou shrugs.

Akihito sighs. “I always assumed Asami was bi.” He takes a sip then asks casually, “Did Kirishima-san say when the last time he entertained clients in Ni-chōme was?”

Kou shakes his head. “Don’t read too much into it, Aki. He took me to an izakaya. It seemed like the kind of place you’d have a work drinking party – it just happened to be in Ni-chōme.”

“What does your Kirishima-san look like?” Akihito asks.

Kou grins. “He’s really hot. He’s very tall –”

“You think everyone’s tall,” Akihito snarks. “You think _I’m_ tall.”

“You are tall!!” Kou protests.

“I’m average. You’re just short.”

Kou pouts. “You’re 4cm above average. _I’m_ average.”

“With geta on, maybe,” Akihito teases. “Anyway, is Kirishima-san taller than me?”

“I think so,” Kou says. “I come up to about his chin. He’s pretty muscular; he’s even got a six-pack.” He blushes slightly.

“TMI,” Akihito gripes, reddening as well.

“He’s got a normal salaryman haircut, pretty short, but it suits him. He wears glasses, but he’s got really pretty eyes the color of milk chocolate, and he’s got a shy smile. He’s really polite and kind. And conscientious. And thoughtful.” Kou smiles softly as he sips his coffee.

Akihito processes Kou’s description, filtering out the poetic language. It matches Asami’s Kirishima, alright – except for the shy smile. _I didn’t know that guy knew how to smile._ “It sounds like it might be the same guy, but that description could match a lot of people. How did you meet him?”

“We both ended up at the same bar just outside of Ni-chōme.”

“Did you go straight from…” Akihito trails off. How is he supposed to phrase this without sounding like he’s accusing Kou of being a stalker? He knows Kou wouldn’t do that.

“Straight from your place? I just happened to be on that street, and I was stuck in traffic. When I saw your hair, I did a double take. I didn’t call out because I was across the street,” Kou lies smoothly. “Anyway, yeah, after seeing you, I decided to try my courage one more time and finally go to Ni-chōme. While I was at the bar trying to get some liquid courage, Kei-san showed up. When I told him I was nervous, he walked me down the rest of the block.”

“Hmm,” Akihito says. He sips his drink. _I’ll just have to ask Asami about it._ “Just be careful, okay? Take it slow. Get to know him.”

“You’re worrying too much. Anyway, Kei-san said he wants to take it slow.”

Akihito raises his eyebrows at him. “Going home with him the first night is taking it slow?”

Kou blushes and whispers, “It’s not like that! We didn’t do anything!”

Akihito eyes Kou’s neck skeptically.

“Well, okay, we did a _little_ , but…” Kou turns even redder.

Akihito holds up his hand. “I don’t need the details. Just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t,” Kou says, shrugging sheepishly. “Or maybe I will; I don’t know. But right now, I’m happy.”

“That’s good,” Akihito says.

“What about you?” Kou asks. “How long have you been together with Asami-san? And how did you meet a rich CEO?”

Akihito chokes on his drink and sprays it across the table.

Kou laughs. “That’s the second time I’ve seen someone do a real spit-take in as many days.”

Akihito glares at him as he wipes the table with a napkin.

“Though Kei-san was much cuter when he did it,” Kou says. “He got so embarrassed.”

Akihito narrows his eyes. “What made him do it?” he asks casually.

Kou stops laughing while he thinks. After a moment, he shakes his head and says, “I can’t remember. Anyway, don’t change the subject. You’ve been holding out on me. I want all the details.”

“You’re so nosy,” Akihito gripes. But after a few more minutes of Kou’s cajoling, he sighs and gives in. “I met Asami through work.” Kou’s eyebrows shoot up, and Akihito quickly amends, “A photoshoot.”

“Oh. At first I thought you were going to say he was bribing a politician or something. What was the photoshoot for?”

Akihito’s mind races. What can he say? If he says it’s for one of Asami’s company’s products, he’ll be asked what the company sells – and the only things he knows Asami’s company deals with are weapons and drugs. If he says it’s for an interview, Kou might look it up – and Asami’s picture doesn’t appear anywhere in the press.

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t remember,” he says, mimicking Kou.

Kou narrows his eyes in suspicion. “What are you hiding?”

“Nothing! Why is it so hard to believe? You couldn’t even remember something from last night!”

“He really _was_ bribing a politician, wasn’t he?” Kou says. “And you took one look at that gorgeous face and your journalistic integrity flew right out the window.”

“I would never compromise my journalistic integrity!” Akihito protests hotly.

Kou softens. “I know. I was just teasing. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me. At least tell me how long you’ve been together, though.”

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t know.” Kou rolls his eye, so Akihito clarifies, “We met about a year and a half ago, but we had a… slow start. Even now, I’m still not sure exactly what we are.” _That’s one way to put it._

Kou gapes at him. “But you’re living together.”

“I told you, that’s just because of the stalker case.”

“I kind of feel sorry for Asami-san. No wonder he’s clingy. If he weren’t, you’d probably think he was just a friend.”

Akihito snorts. “If he weren’t so clingy, I wouldn’t even be his friend.”

“That’s really harsh, Aki,” Kou says, staring at him. “Are you secretly a tsundere?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akihito says dismissively.

“I won’t know if you don’t tell me,” Kou says quietly. _Even though we’re the same, he’s still shutting me out. I guess maybe I’m not as good a friend to him as he is to me._

“Don’t do that, Kou,” Akihito says plaintively. “Look, I’m sorry. Asami came on way too strong at the beginning, and I couldn’t stand him. Even now, I think he just likes the chase. If I give in to him, he’ll get bored. So I just… don’t give in.” He grins cheekily.

“That’s kinda sad, Aki. You’ve been living together for six months now, right? Give yourself some credit.”

“We belong to different worlds. His colleagues make sure I’m aware of that every chance they get. Including Kirishima-san,” Akihito mumbles.

Kou raises his eyebrows. “Kei-san is nice. He wouldn’t do that.”

“How well do you really know him?” Akihito challenges. “Of course we’re not sure it’s the same guy…” he adds doubtfully. _I’m sure, but I can’t tell Kou why I’m sure. If he’s playing Kou…_

Kou finishes his latté. “I still feel like you’re not telling me something important, but I guess I’m used to that.” He shrugs. “At least I can talk to you about this stuff. Right?” He casts Akihito a questioning look.

“Of course you can,” Akihito says, smiling.

“Great! Then I have a question. When you’re initiating things, how can you make sure you’re not going too fast for your partner?”

Akihito simply stares as his face progresses through fifty shades of red and into purple territory. He buries his face in the crook of his elbow on the table. His voice is muffled as he says, “No, never mind. You can’t.”

“Why? What’s wrong? You just said we can talk about it. Who else am I going to ask?” Kou asks.

“I don’t know. Not me,” Akihito avers.

“Aki-chan,” Kou whines.

“Don’t call me chan! And I don’t know, okay?”

“Oh. Oh! Ohhhhhhh,” Kou says. “So you’re a bottom? I guess that would make sense, given your personality and how pushy you say Asami-san is.”

Kou’s not quite sure if he understands Akihito’s response correctly, given that his head is still buried in his elbow, but he thinks he hears, “Kou, if you say another word, I will kill you. I will filet you, removing your organs one at a time, starting with your testicles and ending with your still-beating heart.”

“You’ve played way too many video games, Aki. But I’m sorry for embarrassing you. Anyway, how would you want Asami-san to treat you?”

After a long pause, during which Kou pretends to take several sips from his empty cup, Akihito finally says into his elbow, “I don’t know. Just pay attention to how he’s feeling. The fact that you’re even thinking to ask that question means you’re probably fine.”

“Thanks, Aki. Hey, so Kei-san knows about your relationship with Asami-san then? Well, assuming they’re the same person… Though I don’t think Kei-san would be mean to you like that… But can I ask him about it?”

Akihito shrugs, still burying his face. “You’re going to do whatever you want, anyway. Why am I friends with you again?”

“Cheer up, Aki. It’s no big deal. I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed. It’s just me, and you know I won’t tell anyone. I can just ask what Kei-san’s company is. Where does Asami-san work?”

“Sion.”

“Did you say ‘Shio’ [salt]? It’s hard to understand you with your head buried like that.”

Akihito lifts his head – about a fraction of an inch. “Sion,” he says louder.

Kou looks it up on his phone. “Oh, hey, they own Club Dracaena? Can you get us in there?”

“Why would you want to go there?” Akihito asks.

“A lot of young celebrities hang out there. Like the guys from Charlie’s Friends.”

“You like that band?”

“Their music is crap, but the guys are H.O.T.” Kou notes that Akihito’s ears are gradually growing less red.

“You some kind of shota?”

“Hey! They’re all in their twenties.”

“I thought you liked the salaryman look,” Akihito teases.

“I don’t have a type,” Kou says, shrugging. “Besides, I think personality is more important than looks.”

“But you want to go to Dracaena to see the boys in a J-pop band?”

“There’s no harm in looking,” Kou points out.

“You’ll probably be disappointed,” Akihito tells him. “I had a scoop tied to Dracaena, and everyone there looked like a stuck-up jerk.”

Kou shrugs. “Maybe. But if you’re not talking to them, what does it matter?”

“Besides, the manager is a real piece of work. Asking Asami to get us in would probably involve interacting with him, and believe me, it’s not worth it.” Akihito sits up again, finally distracted from his embarrassment.

“He can’t be that bad.”

“Knowing him, he would have the security throw us out – after roughing us up – and then later apologize for their roughness, as if he hadn’t ordered it.”

Kou gapes at him. “That’s really specific. Has that actually happened to you?”

Akihito sighs. “I was on a scoop.”

“And this guy works for your boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell Asami-san about it?”

“Like I could do that!” Akihito protests. “I can’t mix work with – with – with whatever Asami and I have. I can take care of myself.”

Kou rolls his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Like that time you got taken to Hong Kong or wherever.”

Akihito flushes. “Hey. I came back. Anyway, that was an extreme situation.”

“And having the crap beaten out of you at some club isn’t?”

“They didn’t break anything. Not even my camera. They just erased the pictures, and I lost the scoop.” Akihito shrugs.

“This is why me and Takato worry about you,” Kou says. He glances at his watch. “Hey, I’ve got to get back to work. I’ve got a deadline tomorrow. But we’ll catch up again soon, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Just don’t embarrass me like that again, okay? And it’s your treat today as payback, right?” Akihito asks.

“Fine,” Kou says, pulling out his wallet. “Er, actually, Aki…” He looks up, panic-stricken. “Can you cover the bill? All my money’s gone!”

“Seriously?” Aki asks, wide-eyed. _I thought it really was Asami’s Kirishima. Did Kou actually run into a grifter instead?_

Kou starts laughing. “Man, I really got you! You’re so gullible!”

Akihito gives him a good punch on the arm before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heights in Viewfinder: In Naked Truth 1, on the first page you can clearly see that Akihito and Takato are about the same height while Kou is about three to four inches shorter, but by Naked Truth 4, Akihito is substantially shorter than both Kou and Takato (when he hugs them, and then is standing next to them). I chose to go with Naked Truth 1 as canon, because Akihito is listed in the character book as 175cm (nearly 5’9”), which is more than an inch and a half (nearly 4cm) taller than the average Japanese man.
> 
> According to the character book, Asami is nearly 6’1”, only 4 inches or 10 cm taller than Akihito, even though they’re often drawn as Akihito only coming up to Asami’s shoulder. Kirishima (if that’s him) is shown as only a few inches taller than Akihito in chapter 1, and in Naked Truth 16 (Hong Kong 11), Akihito is shown as coming up to his chin – so Kirishima is shorter than Asami but taller than Akihito. I split the difference and made him about 5’11” (180cm).
> 
> Also, according to the character book, Kirishima is Asami’s “First Assistant,” not his secretary – but I doubt Akihito ever asked about his specific title.


	4. Interlude (Purple)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima is flying high after he and Kou set up their first date. But when Kirishima discovers that Akihito figured out that he's Kou's new love interest and Kou suddenly stops contacting Kirishima, will their relationship even get off the ground?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from this story to write the Checklist universe Valentine's story, but I do plan to update this one occasionally. (I've already started on my next Checklist universe fic -- Akihito's cat photo exhibit -- so updates here will continue to be sporadic. I have to be in the right headspace to write in a universe where Asami and Akihito are still dysfunctional.)
> 
> Warning for mild language in this chapter.
> 
> Vocabulary:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> arigatō: thank you  
> [Torishige](http://www.picrumb.com/best-restaurants/shinjuku/torishige/): restaurant in Shinjuku  
> [Showa Kinen Park](http://www.showakinen-koen.jp/html/english/)
> 
> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion

After his assistant gives his report, Kirishima asks him, “How would you feel about coordinating the Suzuki summit on Saturday?”

Morita’s face lights up. “Really, fuku-shacho-san? I can do it!”

Kirishima smiles at him. “Good. I’ll inform Asami-sama that you’ll be in charge.”

Kirishima’s office phone rings. It’s the receptionist announcing that lunch from Torishige restaurant has been delivered.

Kirishima arranges Asami’s lunch carefully on a tray then knocks on Asami’s door.

“Come in.”

“Your lunch is ready, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says. He sets the tray on Asami’s desk and bows.

“Thank you, Kirishima.”

“Asami-sama, I’ve asked Morita-kun to coordinate the Suzuki summit Saturday afternoon. I was wondering if you required my attendance there as well.”

Asami smirks at him. “You have it bad, huh? Go ahead and take Saturday morning off, too. I won’t need you until the Tanihara meeting at six.”

“Thank you, Asami-sama.” Kirishima bows again.

“Oh, and I had a book delivered to your house. It should arrive tomorrow.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Asami-sama.” Kirishima can feel the blush creeping across his face as he recollects Asami promising to get him a book when he found out about Kirishima’s budding romance with Kou.

“Nonsense. Knowing you, you would have started reading everything you can about it on the internet. Or worse, stopped by a bookstore and picked up the first BL manga you saw and tried to learn from that.”

“You and Kazumi are treating me like I’m some naïve little kid,” Kirishima mutters.

“Everyone starts off as a beginner. It doesn’t really matter when you start,” Asami says. “You know I’m always here for advice if you need it. But _I_ know you’re not the type who would feel comfortable asking me for advice.”

“Actually…” Kirishima starts before he can stop himself.

Asami raises his eyebrows.

“Do you have any recommendations of where we could go?” Kirishima’s face is on fire, but a little embarrassment now in front of Asami might save him more embarrassment later in front of Kou when he can’t figure out where to take him on their date.

“Business hotels are easier than love hotels. Many love hotels don’t like two men sharing a room.”

Kirishima’s face flushes redder. “That’s not what I meant. I mean – before –” Of course Asami took it the wrong way; Kirishima should have expected it, given that Asami’s definition of a date consists of one thing only.

“A restaurant with a private room.”

“What else?” Kirishima asks. A meal would only take a couple of hours at most.

Asami furrows his brow in confusion.

“Maybe a movie? A museum?” Kirishima guesses wildly.

“Two guys together somewhere like that might attract attention,” Asami points out.

“Oh.” Kirishima’s face falls.

“Of course, you don’t have to worry what other people think. It’s none of their business, anyway. But knowing you, you probably wouldn’t feel very comfortable at places like that.”

“Somewhere more secluded?” Kirishima asks hopelessly.

Asami shrugs. “It’s not something I worry about. If I want seclusion, I go home.” He picks up his chopsticks, and Kirishima excuses himself.

He sits at his own desk after carefully arranging his lunch. He picks up his chopsticks, sets them down, and picks up his phone.

_My boss is letting me go in late Saturday. I don’t have to start until 6. Do you want to do something?_

_Sure. What did you have in mind?_

_I don’t know. Lunch… And I don’t know what else. What do you want to do?_

_I knew you were going to say that. (_ _￣ω_ _￣;)_

Kirishima has helped Asami decipher numerous kaomoji received from Takaba, so he quickly goes to his best source for deciphering them. _Cute and smug? Okay…_ While he’s thinking of a response, he receives another text.

_I’ll show you something you never knew you wanted to see before._

_Like what?_

_I don’t know. What do you want to see?_ _ヽ(°_ _▽、°)_ _ﾉ_

_I don’t know._

_(_ _ง ˙o˙)_ _ว_

_…_

_I know!_ ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=© _ױ_ ئ©

_I don’t know what that is…_

_It’s a motorcycle zooming down the highway._

_Have you ever been to Showa Kinen Park?_

_No._

_Do you like nature?_

_Sure._

_Then let’s go there. We’ll take my bike._

_Can we both fit on it?_

_Of course._ ♥(っ´ヮ´)っ(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ♥

_Is that us on the motorcycle?_

_Yeah. Sorry. My friends say I use too many kaomoji. I’ll try to cut back._

_It’s fine. I’m sorry for not understanding all of them._

_Have you ever used one?_

_No._

_They’re fun. You can show how you’re feeling when you’re too shy to say it._

_Okay._

_Do I need to get a helmet for Saturday?_

_No. I’ll borrow one from a friend for you._

_I can pack a bento for us._

o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

_Oops. I mean, “Yay, Kei-san’s cooking is delicious.”_

_I understood that one._

(•̀o•́)ง

 _Yay! You used a kaomoji!_ (๑´ㅂ`๑)

_I’ve got to get back to work soon. Let’s meet at noon Saturday._

_Sounds great. I’ll pick you up at your place._

Kirishima sets down his phone and picks up his chopsticks with one hand and a report with the other.

“Did something good happen yesterday, fuku-shacho-san?” Morita asks from the hallway where he’s passing by.

Kirishima gapes at him.

“You’ve smiled more today than I’ve ever seen you smile since I started working here,” Morita explains.

“I’m sorry I’m usually so gloomy,” Kirishima says.

“You’re not. You just look really happy today. Whatever it is, I’m glad for you,” Morita says.

“Thank you.”

 

After several back-to-back afternoon meetings, Kirishima finally gets a short break at 7pm. He checks his phone and notices several texts from Kou.

 _Hope you had a good lunch. I bought mine at the convenience store… again._ (^_^;)

_Lunchtime is over. Back to work. Need to finish preparing for the big meeting tomorrow. Work hard._

_I bought rice at the store! I’m going to try to cook it myself for dinner._

_Success!_ (•̀o•́)ง

Attached to that text is a picture of a steaming bowl of rice.

_Of course the sides were still bought at the store…_

Attached is a picture of karaage chicken and two vegetable sides.

_Back to work now. Nearly done with the presentation._

_Work hard. Hope you don’t get too tired working so late tonight._

Kirishima texts back.

_I’m sorry I missed your messages. I’ve been stuck in meetings all afternoon._

Just as he finishes typing another text, he gets a response.

_No worries. I hope all my texts didn’t bother you while you were working._

_I hope that rice was as delicious as it looked._

Kirishima starts typing a response to Kou’s new text, but before he can send it, he gets another one.

 _It was! Thanks for teaching me how to cook it._ ( •͈ᴗ•͈)ﾉarigatō〜♥

_It’s fine. I keep my phone silenced._

_You type really fast._

_Sorry._

_We can make the bento together Saturday so I can teach you how to cook more things._

_Okay! … What time are you working until Friday night?_

Kirishima hesitates. It’s not a good idea to tell Kou _too_ much about his work schedule. He did admit that Sion owns several clubs, and most clubs are open until the trains start running again, but still… He does some quick mental calculations. He should be home by 5:30am at the latest. If he gets four hours of sleep, he could meet Kou at ten. If he pretends he wants a more typical six to seven hours of sleep…

_Two._

_Oh. Then we really shouldn’t meet until noon, huh? You need to get lots of sleep._

_How long does it take to get a bento ready?_

_I was thinking we could meet at ten._

_If I set the rice cooker timer, we could cook the rest in less than 30 minutes._

_10 wouldn’t give you much sleep! The park is only 30 minutes away. Noon should still give us plenty of time._

_Alright. I will see you at noon then. I’ll teach you how to make your own karaage chicken._

Morita coughs. “Fuku-shacho-san? It’s time for the next meeting.”

“Oh! Thank you, Morita-kun.” Kirishima hurriedly texts a final message.

_Got to go. Good luck tmrw._

_Thanks. Work hard!_

 

Thursday morning, Kirishima is ironing his clothes when Kou calls. He answers it. “Hello. How was your meeting?”

“It went great. After I got home yesterday morning, I had a sudden inspiration, and the clients really liked the new design. I only have to make a few modifications.”

“That’s great,” Kirishima says. He continues ironing.

“Are you getting ready for work?”

“Yes, I’m ironing my clothes.” Kirishima finishes ironing his shirt. “I’m going to put you on speaker.” He puts his shirt on.

“Are you putting your shirt on?” Kou guesses.

“Yes.” Kirishima blushes.

“I don’t want to bother you when you’re trying to get ready. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Kirishima’s blush deepens. “My voice isn’t anything special. But you’re not bothering me.”

Kou chuckles. “It’s special to me. Anyway, let me know if I bug you too much. Since I usually work alone and don’t get to talk to anyone, I probably text too often.”

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind me waiting to reply until I have time.”

“Of course! Don’t feel like you have to respond to every single one, either.”

Kirishima looks in the mirror and adjusts his tie.

“Are you almost dressed?” Kou asks.

“Nearly.”

“Darn.” Kou laughs again. “Sorry, did I say that out loud? I was just imagining you –” He suddenly stops talking.

“Imagining me what?” Kirishima asks.

“Sorry, I’m still in Sagamihara, just outside the building where my meeting was. One of the sales reps just came out, and I didn’t want him to overhear me saying I was imagining you naked.”

“Kou-san!” Kirishima splutters. _You haven’t even_ seen _me totally naked yet. Just what are you imagining in the middle of the day?_

“Sorry. Does that bother you? I guess it would be more accurate to say I was imagining you shirtless.”

“That’s not any better!” Kirishima protests.

“Fine. I’m sorry, then. Is your suit today black as well?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“You were wearing a black suit when we met, and you wore one yesterday as well. Do you have any other colors?”

“No,” Kirishima admits. He double-checks the papers in his briefcase. He secures the clasps and heads to the genkan, where he sits on a bench and slips his shoes on with a shoehorn.

“That’s totally fine!” Kou exclaims. “Black suits you. But you’d look great with a pink tie.”

“Pink?” Kirishima chokes.

“Yeah. You have to be pretty manly to pull off pink, but I think you could do it.”

“If you say so. I’ve got to head to work now,” Kirishima says.

“Yeah, I’ve got to head back, too. Thanks for chatting with me. Have a good day, Kei-san.”

“You, too, Kou-san. Do your best.”

“I’ll text you later. And if you want…” Kou trails off.

“Yes?” Kirishima asks.

“Sorry. Maybe I’m being too pushy. If you want to talk on the phone again, feel free to call me whenever. Well, before midnight. Or anytime tomorrow.”

“Okay. Have a good day.”

 _If I called him, what would we have to talk about?_ Kirishima wonders. _It’d be awkward if I can’t think of anything to say. How does the conversation flow from him so easily?_

 

Friday, Kirishima drives to Asami’s penthouse to pick him up. He watches through the lobby windows as Asami exits the elevator with Takaba. As they walk towards the door, Kirishima opens the door for Asami and bows. Out of the corner of his eye, Kirishima sees Takaba shoot him a dirty look before climbing onto his motorcycle and driving away.

“You’re busted,” Asami says casually as he slides into the backseat.

“What do you mean, Asami-sama?” Kirishima asks, freezing.

A car honks behind them, and he hurriedly closes the door and slips back into the driver’s seat.

As he pulls away from the curb, Asami lowers the privacy glass and explains. “Last night, Takaba asked me what your intentions are towards his friend. Apparently they met for coffee Wednesday. You gave Motomi your real name?”

“It slipped out,” Kirishima explains. “But he thought it was a fake name until he saw my–” He stops abruptly. There’s no need for Asami to know that Kou spent the night at Kirishima’s apartment.

“Did you give him a business card?” Asami asks.

“No…” Kirishima says slowly.

“Did you show him your license?”

“No…”

“So he saw your nameplate at your apartment. I’ve always thought it was dangerous to have a nameplate.”

Kirishima looks at Asami in the rearview mirror. Sure enough, he’s wearing his usual smirk. Kirishima decides to change the subject before Asami presses the issue of what exactly Kou was doing in Kirishima’s apartment.

“So what did Takaba-kun say about me to Motomi-san?” Kirishima asks.

“It’s interesting that you’re calling him ‘san.’ You know that he and Takaba are the same age.”

“He’s –” Kirishima stops abruptly. He was about to say Kou was more mature than Takaba. _Takaba is Asami-sama’s lover. You can’t call him immature to Asami-sama, even indirectly_ , he chides himself.

“Kirishima.” Asami’s tone is chilly. Kirishima knows that he has to finish the sentence. Somehow.

“He’s practically a stranger. So I call him ‘san.’”

“I didn’t realize you and Takaba were so intimately acquainted for you to call him ‘kun.’”

 _I usually don’t call him anything. He’s just a brat I’m constantly having to babysit._ “I’m sorry, Asami-sama. I meant ‘Takaba-san.’”

Asami chuckles. “I admit, that does sound weird. Call him whatever you’d like. I’m just giving you a hard time.”

Kirishima grits his teeth. He’s not sure he’ll ever understand Asami’s sense of humor. “And Takaba-san told Motomi-san… what, that I work for you?”

Asami finally relents. “He said he mentioned that there’s a ‘Kirishima’ that works for me, yes. But that’s all he told Motomi. He did give me a message for you, though.”

“What is it?” Kirishima asks, surprised.

Asami stares out the window. “I believe his exact words were, ‘Tell that glasses guy that if he hurts my friend, I’ll kick his ass.’”

“I don’t intend to,” Kirishima says.

“That’s what I told Takaba.”

“Really?”

“I believe my exact words were, ‘Don’t worry. Kirishima is apparently head over heels for him. If your friend hurts him, I’ll kick _your_ ass.’”

“Seriously?” Kirishima stares at Asami so intently in the mirror, he nearly rear-ends the car in front of them. He slams on the brakes, narrowly avoiding a collision. “Sorry, Asami-sama.”

“Of course not,” Asami says. “But close enough.”

Kirishima inwardly groans. _At least Kou-san doesn’t know I followed him for work… Or at least it doesn’t_ sound _like he knows._ He decides to avoid the whole subject unless Kou brings it up – and play dumb if Kou _does_ bring it up. He’s worked in the underworld long enough to know that the easiest way to get caught is to accidentally say too much. But he’s also worked in the underworld long enough for deception to be second nature to him.

They ride in silence until they’re nearly out of Tokyo. Just when Kirishima thinks Asami must have fallen asleep in the back seat, Asami casually asks, “So, where are you going on your date tomorrow?”

“Showa Kinen Park,” Kirishima answers automatically.

“Are you going to have a nice picnic?” Asami teases.

“Yes, actually. We’re packing a bento together,” Kirishima says. _There’s nothing wrong with having a nice, old-fashioned date, and Asami-sama can think whatever he wants about it._

“Sounds nice, if you don’t mind the bugs,” Asami says.

Kirishima relaxes. Maybe Asami isn’t making fun of him, after all. “I don’t mind them. I was a cub scout.”

Asami laughs.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“I was just wondering what your scout leaders would think of you now.”

Kirishima chuckles, too. “From the outside, they’d probably be proud of me, thinking I was still living up to the oath. I guess I mostly am – except for the ‘morally straight’ part.”

“Are you taking the BMW?” Asami asks casually. Kirishima can use the company car for personal use, as well. He knows that Asami is indirectly warning him to be cautious about Kou figuring out Kirishima was driving the car the night Kou followed Takaba and Asami home.

“No, we’re taking Kou-san’s motorcycle.”

“Kou-san?” Asami snickers.

Kirishima blushes when he realizes his mistake. Earlier, he told Asami he didn’t know Kou well enough to call him ‘kun.’ Now he’s suddenly calling him by his first name? He decides not to say anything at all.

“Have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?” Asami asks.

“No. I didn’t think it would be a particularly useful skill. Have you?”

“No. Is this some kind of midlife crisis?”

“Is that what Takaba-san is?” Kirishima retorts.

Asami doesn’t answer right away. Kirishima glances in the rear-view mirror, but Asami doesn’t look angry, just amused. “Maybe. But it’s certainly a fun one. I hope you enjoy yours.”

 

After a long day of inspections at various facilities, Kirishima and Asami finally head back to Tokyo as the sun is setting. Once inside Club Sion Building, Kirishima checks his phone. Kou hasn’t sent a text since two, which is unusual considering his pattern for the last couple of days. _Did Takaba tell him too much about me after all?_

Kirishima apologizes for his lack of response and replies to a few of Kou’s texts from lunchtime. He’s interrupted by Morita knocking on his door, signaling it’s time to make the rounds of the club. He sends one final text.

_Sorry, I have to get back to work now. I hope you are having a good evening._

At nine o’clock, Kirishima finally gets a short, late dinner break. He orders food to be delivered from the club restaurant to his office. While he’s waiting for his food to arrive, he closes his office door. _Should I text Kou-san again? What should I say? Should I ask what Takaba said about me? No, that would just imply that I did something wrong, and I don’t think I did. Besides, I won’t be able to tell what he’s thinking from some words on a screen. If I could see his face or at least hear his voice…_

He takes a deep breath and dials Kou’s number.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Kou-san. It’s Kei. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Kei-san, it’s good to hear from you.” Kou’s tone is distant and cool.

“Is something the matter?” Kirishima asks.

“No. I’m fine,” Kou says.

“Did I do something to offend you?” Kirishima worries. “I apologize for not answering your texts sooner. We had to make visits to several of our locations and customers today, and I spent most of the day driving my boss around.”

“You said you were going to be busy. That’s why I tried not to text you too much today,” Kou says.

“Oh.” Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief. “I thought maybe you were mad that I wasn’t responding quickly enough.”

Kou lets out a sigh of his own. “Somehow it makes me feel better to hear that you were worried. I was beginning to think that maybe I was the only one who wanted to continue deepening our relationship.”

There’s a knock on Kirishima’s office door. “Hang on a moment,” he tells Kou. He sets his phone down on his desk. A waiter is at the door with his dinner. “Set it there,” Kirishima says, gesturing to his desk. As soon as the waiter leaves, Kirishima closes the door and picks up the phone again. “Sorry about that. I’m back.”

“Welcome back. Do you have to get back to work now?” Kou asks.

“No. That was my dinner arriving. I have fifteen minutes left for my dinner break.”

“Oh, then I should let you go so you can eat!” Kou exclaims.

“I –” Kirishima starts then stops abruptly. _I can’t ask him to stay on the phone with me while I eat. No one wants to listen to someone else eating._

“Go ahead,” Kou presses.

“I– I was just going to say that I enjoy reading your texts. It makes me feel closer to know what’s going on in your day, and they provide nice breaks to my day, even if it’s only a few seconds at a time.”

“Again with the smooth lines so easily,” Kou grumbles.

“I mean it,” Kirishima says. “I missed your texts today. I’m sorry. I know that’s very selfish of me to say when I’m not even able to reply to your texts until much later, and I never have anything interesting to say myself.”

“That’s not true,” Kou says. “I enjoy reading your responses very much. You’re so knowledgeable about so many different things.”

“I know I’m a pretty boring person,” Kirishima objects. “I can’t really help it; I’ve always been this way.”

“You’re not boring at all,” Kou says. “Besides, my texts are just about boring stuff, anyway. I mean, I send you pictures of my lunch. That’s not very interesting.”

“I just said I like reading about your life,” Kirishima points out.

“Well, I’m the same. Just tell me whatever you’re doing. It makes me feel like I’m getting to know you a little better.”

“Okay,” Kirishima agrees. _Though I certainly can’t tell him what I’m doing at the harbor tonight. Then again, it’s not like I’m going to text him in the middle of the night, anyway._

“I’m really going to let you go now so you can eat,” Kou says. “Send me a picture of your dinner, okay? I can enjoy it vicariously through you.”

“Did you get yours at the convenience store again?” Kirishima asks.

“No. McDonald’s. That’s even worse.”

Kirishima chuckles. “Fine. I’ll send you a picture. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, tomorrow!” Kou says happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be the first date! I probably won't get to write it until the end of the month (at the earliest).


	5. Shopping Prelude in E-flat minor (Pink)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima and Kou's first date gets off to a rocky start as Kirishima oversleeps and the men discover their differences and face the judgment of others about their budding relationship. Will they be able to overcome these challenges and have a good time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Itoh: manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

Kirishima stumbles into his apartment at 7:30 in the morning. He glances at the clock and groans. The supermarket doesn’t open for another half hour, and he needs to sleep now – which means he’ll have to get up in two and a half hours so he’ll have time to pick up groceries for bento-making before Kou arrives.

He unbuttons his shirt from the bottom up, awkwardly undoing the last few buttons with just his left hand. He tugs the left sleeve down with his left hand and wriggles out of it. Once the shirt is nearly off, Kirishima gingerly removes the right sleeve, taking care not to disturb the bandage wrapped around his elbow.

He tosses the shirt in the trash, then reaches in to make sure the knife gash and bloodstains aren’t on the surface.

He was careless tonight.

 

Kirishima awakens to his phone buzzing. He fumbles for his glasses, and the bulk of the bandage reminds him of his injury when he bends his right elbow to put them on. He glances at the clock as he snatches up his phone.

 _Shoot_.

It’s 11:15. He missed his alarm. That hasn’t happened since… ever. _Did I even remember to set it last night?_

There’s no time to worry about that now, though. He answers the phone, his voice thick with sleep. “Kirishima.”

“Kei, were you still sleeping? Sorry, I thought you’d already be getting ready for your date. It starts at noon, right?”

Kirishima inwardly groans. He should have known Asami would tell Suoh about his date. “I forgot to set the alarm. Is everything resolved?”

“Yes. You have nothing to worry about. I was just calling to let you know that, and to say have fun on your date.”

Kirishima is confused. If his arm weren’t throbbing, he’d wonder whether he were still dreaming. _Why is Kazu-nii being_ nice _to me?_ He shakes his head. He must still be half-asleep to even _think_ of Suoh with that honorific; he hasn’t called his cousin that since middle school. “Thanks,” he says hesitantly, still suspecting he’s being teased.

“You’ve got condoms, right?” Suoh asks.

“Kazumi!” Kirishima protests. “You’re such a jerk.”

“What do you mean? I’m just making sure you’re ready for your date. Do you need me to get anything for you?”

“No, thanks. Thanks for waking me up. Get some sleep.”

After hanging up, Kirishima eyes his wardrobe. He has two types of clothes: suits and workout clothes. Neither is appropriate for a picnic date. He sighs, selecting the black pair of pants from his most casual suit along with a blue dress shirt. He’ll leave the top button undone.

He wraps his right arm in plastic wrap, securing it to his arm with tape so he can take a shower. Once in the bathroom, he swallows an acetaminophen tablet for the slight fever he’s developed.

Buttoning his shirt one-handed is difficult, especially since he’s using his left hand, and by the time he’s dressed, it’s already 11:45. He’s already in the genkan slipping on his shoes when he remembers the rice.

_Shoot._

He takes off his shoes and heads back to the kitchen, reluctantly pulling his phone out of his pocket. He dials Kou’s number, but he doesn’t answer. _He’s probably already on his way and can’t hear it._

Kirishima leaves a message. “Hi, Kou-san, this is Kei. I’m sorry; I overslept this morning. I don’t have any ingredients for making the bento, but I guess we can go to the store together once you get here.”

After he hangs up, he washes the rice and starts cooking it. He usually eats brown rice for the health benefits, but he’s glad he keeps some white rice at home. It’ll taste nicer in the bento, and it cooks fast enough that it’ll be ready by the time the rest of the bento is.

The intercom buzzes just as Kirishima finishes prepping the rice. He glances at his watch on his way. 11:49. _He’s very punctual._

Kirishima hits the button on the intercom panel to open the garage for Kou. A few minutes later, the doorbell rings, and he opens the door. Kou is standing there holding his phone to his ear.

“Hi, Kei-san! Sorry I’m early. I guess I was too excited. I just got your message.” Kou grins sheepishly as he hangs up the phone.

“I figured you couldn’t hear it ring because you were already on your motorcycle.” Kirishima opens the door wider and gestures Kou inside. “Do you want to go to the store now, or can I get you something to drink first?”

Kou smiles. “I’m ready to go if you are. But first…” He stands on his tiptoes and kisses Kirishima on the lips.

 

Five minutes later, they’re walking down the stairs. “Should we take my bike?” Kou asks.

“No. There’s a small market on the next block where we can get enough to make the bento.”

They walk side by side. Occasionally, the backs of their hands brush together, and it gives Kirishima a tingly feeling each time. He’s brought back to reality by the odd looks they receive from some of the elderly housewives doing their weekly shopping, and he can’t wait to get back to the privacy of his apartment.

“Don’t worry about what they think,” Kou says quietly when they turn down a relatively deserted aisle. “There’s nothing wrong with grocery shopping.”

“I just don’t like being stared at,” Kirishima tries to explain. _How can Kou-san be so unbothered by it? Especially when he was so scared to even set foot in Ni-ch_ _ō_ _me._

Kou offers to pay for the groceries, but Kirishima doesn’t want to let him.

“You’re doing the cooking; the least I can do is pay for the food.”

“We’re doing the cooking together,” Kirishima corrects. “Besides, you’re paying for the gasoline to get to the park – unless you’ll let me fill up your tank for you.”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” Kou protests.

“See? So let me pay for the food. We won’t use it all, anyway, so I’ll be able to cook again with some of it.” _It’s obvious I make more money than Kou-san. I wish he’d just let me pay for everything, but I don’t want to insult him._

Kou reluctantly agrees, and they head back to Kirishima’s place. When they get there, Kou says, “Let’s stop by my bike and bring up the gear. I hope it fits you. My friend Yoshida is about your size, but it’s hard to tell.”

Kou hands a helmet to Kirishima and pulls out a motorcycle jacket from the compartment under his seat. As soon as they get upstairs, Kou holds up the jacket for Kirishima to try on. Kirishima slides his right arm in first, grateful that he won’t have to reveal his injury. The jacket is a little tight in the shoulders, but it fits.

Kirishima’s phone rings. It’s Asami. “I’m sorry, it’s my boss,” he says, stepping into his bedroom and closing the door behind him. He answers the phone. “Asami-sama.”

“Kirishima. You have an appointment with Kurebayashi-sensei at 7:30 this evening.”

Kirishima sighs. “It was barely a scratch. I’m fine.”

“Regardless, it’s policy.”

Anytime a Sion employee is violently injured, they have to be cleared by a psychologist before returning to work. It’s a good policy, but Asami allows no leeway. Not even for Kirishima, who has stood beside Asami in countless battles far more dangerous than last night’s minor scuffle with a small-time dealer who got too big for his britches and decided to attack with no warning in the middle of what should have been a routine business transaction.

Kirishima sighs again. “Yes, Asami-sama. Thank you.”

“Have fun on your date.”

Kirishima gingerly pulls the motorcycle jacket off before heading back to the living room. “I’m sorry about that,” he says, apologizing again.

“Do you have to go in?” Kou asks worriedly.

“No. He was just informing me of another appointment I have this evening.”

“I see.”

Kirishima leads the way into the kitchen. He checks the rice cooker. “Good, it’s ready. It’s best to pack it into the bento box first so it has time to cool down before you put the lid on it.”

Next, they marinate the chicken for the karaage.

“So far, this is pretty simple,” Kou says, “though I’m a bit scared to fry the chicken. I’ve heard too many stories about grease fires.”

“That’s why we have a lid next to the pot. There’s also a fire extinguisher in the cabinet. But as long as we’re careful, we really shouldn’t need either of them,” Kirishima says as he rummages through the fridge.

“What are you looking for?” Kou asks.

“I made some tsukemono Monday night. They should still be good. I’ll show you how to make them, but they won’t have enough time to marinate before we leave, so we’ll have to eat the ones we make today another time.”

“So we’re making that next?” Kou asks.

“We’ll start on it until the water boils and is ready for steaming the vegetables,” Kirishima answers.

They chop broccoli and carrots for steaming and cucumbers, radishes, turnips, and cabbage leaves for pickling.

“I’m not very good at chopping,” Kou says.

“It’s just a matter of practice. You’ll get better with time.” Kirishima adds the vegetables to the steamer while Kou finishes chopping the ones for the pickles.

As Kou is massaging the vegetables and yuzu peel in a plastic bag, he asks, “Is this really it? This is so easy!”

“Yes. You just have to remember to flip the bag over once in a while – at least every day. You can start eating the pickles after an hour, but they’ll taste better after they’ve sat at least overnight. Then it’s just a matter of eating them. They’ll last for up to a week.”

They place some of the already-prepared tsukemono in two silicon cups and put them in the bento boxes.

“Next up is tamagoyaki,” Kirishima says.

Kou groans. “My mom tried to show me how to make it once, and I kept tearing the egg.”

“Just like everything else, all it takes is practice. Besides, even if it doesn’t look very pretty, it’ll still taste good,” Kirishima says. He does the first layer to show Kou how to roll the cooked egg to the side to allow the next layer to cook, and then he hands Kou the chopsticks. “Just roll it carefully,” he says.

Kou rolls it. There’s a slight tear in the egg where the chopsticks poked through it. Kou frowns.

“Go ahead and pour the next layer,” Kirishima encourages him. “That’ll end up on the inside anyway. Just try to grip the egg a little more gently this time.”

Kou doesn’t tear the egg at all for the remaining layers.

“Now we roll it in a bamboo mat so it can set,” Kirishima says. He sets the mat over a bowl.

“What does that do?” Kou asks. “My mom doesn’t do that.”

“It just helps it cool down faster so we can add it to the bento,” Kirishima explains.

Kou nods.

By now, the oil is hot enough and the chicken has marinated long enough, so they start adding the chicken to the oil.

“I can’t believe I’m actually cooking,” Kou says.

“You are, and you’re good at it.” Kirishima smiles at him.

“I wouldn’t go that far, but I haven’t set your house on fire, at least.” Kou leans up and pecks Kirishima on the lips. “Thanks.”

Kirishima leans in to deepen the kiss, but Kou wags his finger at him.

“I’m doing so well now. We can’t afford to get distracted and burn the chicken.”

“You’re right. Once the chicken’s done, we’ll have time while we’re waiting for the bentos to cool.”

They allow the bentos to cool for twenty minutes before Kirishima pulls away and says, “We should get going if we want to actually have our picnic.”

“Okay.” Kou eyes Kirishima from head to toe. “You should put on a pair of jeans. They’ll provide a bit more protection in case of a minor accident.”

Kirishima blushes. “I don’t have any,” he says.

Kou gapes at him. “Seriously? Do you have _anything_ thicker?”

Kirishima shrugs. “Sweatpants? But I didn’t think those were appropriate attire for today.”

Kou shakes his head. “Those aren’t any sturdier than the slacks you’re wearing. Let me see your closet.”

Kirishima opens the closet door, revealing his neatly lined suits.

“They really are all black,” Kou says. “Where are your casual clothes?”

Kirishima opens the bottom drawer, where there’s a small array of t-shirts, shorts, sweatpants, and sweatshirts.

“What’s in the other drawer?” Kou asks.

“Underwear and pajamas.”

“Huh. Well, we’ll just have to buy you a pair of jeans. I’ll help you pick one out.”

“Is that really necessary?” Kirishima asks.

“Safety first. Besides, jeans are really useful. I can’t believe you don’t own any casual clothes. What do you lounge around the house in? I can’t imagine you in sweats all day, even if you’re alone.”

“I work a lot. I usually stay in my work clothes until it’s time to take a shower, and then I change into pajamas,” Kirishima says.

“What about when you go out?”

“Most of my excursions are for work. I wear a suit to them.”

“Well, jeans are useful. I’ll buy them for you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kirishima protests.

“I want to,” Kou says. “Please, let me.”

“I can pay for my own clothes.” Kirishima can’t wrap his head around letting a younger man who’s obviously on a tight budget buy him clothes. Kou’s face falls. “But I’ll let you pick them out for me,” Kirishima adds, smiling.

Kou brightens. “We can do a practice ride to the store before heading all the way to the park. I know a good shop that’s on the way. Do you want to change into one of your t-shirts?”

Kirishima freezes. If he changes into a short-sleeved t-shirt, Kou will surely notice his wound. Just the thought of changing into a long-sleeved t-shirt is excruciating, though.

Kou is still looking at him expectantly.

“I only wear them for working out. They’re not very nice. I don’t want to look bad.”

“Hmm. Well, you could definitely rock the button-down shirt with jeans look. You ready?”

 

Once they’re in the parking garage, Kou gives Kirishima a brief lesson on how to ride a motorcycle.

“If you want to stop, tap my right shoulder. We’ll be going to my favorite shop. They have a branch ten minutes from here, so it’ll be a nice practice ride.”

Kou climbs onto the bike and holds it steady. On his signal, Kirishima holds onto Kou’s shoulders and swings onto the seat behind him. He places his feet on the pegs and realizes just how close they’ll have to sit. His legs are spread on either side of Kou’s. As Kirishima places his hands on Kou’s waist as instructed and notes the small distance between them front to back, he thinks, _This might be bad._

He doesn’t have too much time to worry about that as Kou shifts the bike into gear and takes off. Kirishima knows they’re not going that fast due to the traffic and the low speed limit, but somehow it feels much faster on the motorcycle than it does in a car. He’s just beginning to relax and enjoy the experience when Kou pulls up to the shop.

Kou steadies the bike so Kirishima can dismount then takes off his helmet. “How was it?” he asks, grinning broadly.

Kirishima removes his own helmet. “I was a little nervous at first,” he confesses, “but once I relaxed, it was fun. Though I can’t imagine going any faster than that.”

Kou laughs. “It’s okay. Slower speeds feel faster, but faster ones somehow don’t feel that much faster than the slower ones.”

Kirishima looks at him skeptically. He decides to change the topic. “So this is your favorite store?”

“Yeah. They have the best selection of vintage clothing at great prices.”

“Vintage?” Kirishima remembers overhearing an argument due to Asami throwing out a t-shirt Takaba claimed was “vintage.” “Doesn’t ‘vintage’ mean that someone else owned it before?” Kirishima tries to keep his tone and face neutral, though he really wants to wrinkle his nose at the thought.

Kou is able to pick up on Kirishima’s thoughts, however. His face falls. “Yeah, but they wash the clothes before reselling them. It’s like getting clothes from your big brothers.”

“I never did that,” Kirishima says.

“Well, sometimes you can find clothes that have obviously never even been worn before. It’s like someone bought the wrong size and eventually sold it here to try to make some of their money back.” Kou smiles encouragingly, so Kirishima smiles back.

Inside the store, Kou leads Kirishima to the men’s jeans section. He holds a few pairs in front of Kirishima, assessing for size, but when Kou finally picks out a few pairs for Kirishima to try one, Kirishima heads to the fitting room reluctantly.

He tries the newest looking pair on and looks in the mirror. They’re way too tight on his muscular thighs.

“Do you have them on yet? Let me see,” Kou calls out.

Kirishima opens the door enough to poke his head out. “They don’t really fit.”

“Let me see,” Kou insists.

Kirishima opens the door a little wider.

“Ah. You’re right. You need something with a more relaxed fit. What about the other pairs?”

Kirishima looks at the pile on the chair.

Kou sighs. “Never mind. Get your pants back on.”

Kirishima dresses and leaves the fitting room. “What’s wrong?”

“We’ll go somewhere else. I didn’t realize the thought of used clothes makes you _that_ uncomfortable. Sorry for making you come here.”

“I’m sorry I’m being so picky,” Kirishima says.

“It’s fine. There’s a Uniqlo near here.” Kou leads the way down the sidewalk.

Kirishima gawks at the selection of fashionable clothes that are obviously marketed towards men ten to twenty years younger than him. He’s never worn anything like them in his life.

“Don’t worry. They have normal jeans, too,” Kou says, guiding him to a back corner of the store.

“Motomi-san! I thought that was you. Welcome,” a man dressed in a fashionable suit says.

“Itoh-san, it’s good to see you again. I hope you’re still satisfied with the displays,” Kou says. Turning to Kirishima, he explains, “I designed the in-store marketing for this branch a few months ago.” He turns back to the manager. “My friend here is looking for some jeans, but he’s struggling to find a pair that fit him properly because he works out so much.”

Kirishima’s face reddens, but Itoh whips out a measuring tape, takes a few measurements, and leads them along the jeans racks, pulling out two pairs in several different styles. “A bit of stretch should help,” he mutters to himself.

A minute later, Kirishima finds himself in the fitting room with a dozen pairs to try on.

“I want to see every pair on you!” Kou calls through the door.

The first few pairs fit okay, but they’re not very comfortable the way they cling to Kirishima’s bottom and thighs. Kou just “hmm”s at them.

When Kirishima gets to the pair Itoh muttered about, they’re very comfortable. Then he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and blushes. The jeans cling to every bulging ripple in his body. _Do people actually wear things like this? They look indecent._

“Do you have the next pair on yet?” Kou calls impatiently.

“Yes, but they don’t fit right,” Kirishima says.

“Neither did the other pairs. Let me see,” Kou insists.

Kirishima grudgingly steps out, and Kou gives a low whistle.

“What do you mean they don’t fit right? They look perfect. Turn around,” Kou commands.

Kirishima turns around, and Kou whistles again. “Man, you are fine,” he whispers.

“Kou-san!” Kirishima yelps. He looks around to see if anyone overheard.

He catches Itoh’s eye, and Itoh approaches them. “I knew that would be the right pair,” he says. “What do you think of them?”

“I’m not sure. Aren’t they a little too tight?” Kirishima asks.

“That’s the point,” Kou says. “They look good on you. Doesn’t he look hot?” He turns and looks at Itoh for confirmation.

Itoh looks back and forth between the two of them. “Are you on a date?” he asks softly.

Kirishima can feel the blush attempting to steal over his face, but he needs to protect Kou, who is gaping at Itoh. Kirishima puts on his business armor. “Kou-san is being kind enough to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. It’s always been a dream of mine to own one, but I figured I’d better ride one at least once before I buy one. As you can see, I’m a bit clueless; I don’t even own the appropriate attire.”

Kou tries to arrange his face in a neutral expression. “That’s right,” he agrees.

Itoh smiles at them. “You don’t have to hide it from me. I’m the same way. I always got that vibe from you, Motomi-san, but I was afraid to approach you given our business relationship, just in case I was wrong. Looks like I’m too late now.” He bows to them. “I’ll just excuse myself, then.” He turns to Kirishima. “Motomi-san has excellent taste. I’m sure he’ll pick out a nice pair of jeans for you. If you would like additional assistance, I’ll be happy to help. Otherwise, I’ll be waiting to ring up your purchases whenever you’re ready.”

Once Itoh has left, Kou lets out a long breath. “That was close,” he says, leaning against the fitting room door for support.

“I’m sorry,” Kirishima says.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I should have been more careful with what I said. _I’m_ sorry. I’ll be more careful in front of others from now on.” Kou looks down at the floor.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everything worked out fine,” Kirishima reminds him.

Kou brightens. “Yeah. Okay, I can tell you’re not thrilled about that pair, even though they look totally _amazing_ , so why don’t you try on the next one? But give me those as soon as you take them off.”

Kirishima eyes him suspiciously.

“They’re going in the ‘maybe’ pile, okay?”

Kirishima tries on the next pair, which also has a little stretch, though not enough to make it hug his body obscenely like the previous pair. “I actually like these,” he says as he looks in the mirror. They’re fairly comfortable, and they make his legs look… good? He blushes at the thought. _How conceited am I?_

“Well, let me see, then.” Kou says. Kirishima opens the door, and Kou claps his hands. “Yeah, these are more you. Turn around.” Kirishima does so more willingly this time, and Kou says, “They look great. And you look a lot more comfortable in them. I think we’re done.”

Kirishima turns to head back into the fitting room.

“Where are you going?”

“I was going to change into my slacks so we can pay for these.”

“That’s silly. You’re just going to change right back into them. We can pay for them while you’re wearing them, and I’ll cut the tags off for you.”

Kou slings the super-stretchy jeans over his shoulder and helps Kirishima gather the rest to put on the rack for reshelving. They head to the cash register, where Itoh is waiting.

“You found a pair,” Itoh says, smiling. “They look good on you.”

As Kirishima fishes out his wallet, Kou places the other pair of jeans on the counter. “I’ll pay for this pair,” he says.

Kirishima gapes at him. “But we already found a pair. You said that was the ‘maybe’ pile.”

“They look too good on you not to get,” Kou says.

“They were too tight,” Kirishima points out.

“They’re _supposed_ to be tight. That’s why they look so good.”

“Where would I ever wear them?”

“To a club or a bar. On a long ride. Lots of places.” Kou shrugs.

“People would stare at me. I’ve never seen anyone wear pants that tight.”

“You haven’t been looking very carefully, then,” Itoh pipes up. “They’re very fashionable right now.”

Kirishima sighs. “I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to wear them. I don’t want you to waste your money.”

“It’s fine if you only wear them in front of me,” Kou says. “You won’t feel too embarrassed then, will you?”

Kirishima flushes scarlet.

“You guys are too cute,” Itoh says.

He comes around the counter to remove the tags from Kirishima’s jeans. When he reaches for the back pocket, Kou holds out his hand for the scissors. “I’ll do that,” he offers.

Itoh hands him the scissors, heading back to the cash register to ring up Kirishima’s transaction.

“Put them both on my bill,” Kirishima says, handing over a ten-thousand-yen note.

“That’s alright. I’m the one who wants you to get the second pair, so it’ll be my treat,” Kou says.

“I should probably have more than one pair of jeans, right?” Kirishima says.

“First date?” Itoh guesses. He takes the money from Kirishima and gives him change for both pairs, settling the disagreement.

Kou doesn’t protest anymore; he’s been distracted by a t-shirt hanging on the wall. It’s black with pink sakura petals running down the right side from shoulder to hip. “Itoh-san, does that shirt come in a large?”

Itoh follows his eye. “Yes, it goes up to extra-large.” He pulls down one of each size and hands them to Kou.

“Try this on, too,” Kou says.

“I already have a shirt,” Kirishima protests.

“But you said you didn’t have any nice t-shirts. Look, this one is mostly black, but it’s got just a pop of color.” He holds the shirt under Kirishima’s chin. “See? I told you pink would look good on you.”

“No, really-” Kirishima begins.

“Just try it,” Itoh encourages.

Kou grasps Kirishima’s right elbow in order to place the shirt in his hand. Kirishima flinches, pulling his arm away.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Kou asks, confused. “I’m really sorry; I didn’t think I grabbed it that hard.”

“That’s not it. I injured it yesterday,” Kirishima says.

Itoh discreetly steps away.

“When?” Kou asks, surprised. “You didn’t mention it when we talked.”

“Afterwards.”

“You should have said something sooner. Did I make it worse?” Kou fusses.

“It’s fine. It’s just a little sore. It’ll heal in a few days,” Kirishima says. “But it’d be hard to put on a t-shirt right now – and even harder to take one off.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” Kou says again. “Well, how about I get it for you anyway? You can wear it when we go out again after your arm is better.”

“What if it doesn’t fit?” Kirishima worries.

Kou gestures Itoh back. “Which do you think would fit him better?”

Itoh holds up the two t-shirts next to Kirishima, in front and in back, measuring at the shoulders, upper back, and waist. Last, he compares the sleeve width to Kirishima’s arm. “I think you’d better go with the extra-large. It might be a little tight in the shoulders, but it should fit.”

This time, Kirishima lets Kou pay for the t-shirt. “Can’t I get you something?” he asks.

“I have more than enough casual clothes.” Kou laughs. “Maybe if we go someplace more formal, you can help me get a decent tie or something.”

 

By the time they leave the store, it’s nearly two o’clock. “We’d better get to the park if we want to have time for our picnic,” Kou says. They climb back onto the motorcycle, Kirishima feeling just as awkward about their proximity as he did before. Once they’re on the highway, though, he forgets about the awkwardness, clinging tightly to Kou in a mix of fear, excitement, and awe. He can hear nothing but the sound of the engine and the rush of wind past his helmet. _Maybe this dating thing isn’t so bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bento was loosely inspired by [this one](http://justbento.com/handbook/bento-basics/bento-no-39-how-to-fill-bento-box). Recipes for [karaage chicken](http://justhungry.com/2004/04/karaage_japanes.html), [tsukemono](http://justbento.com/handbook/johbisai/yuzu-scented-winter-vegetable-tsukemono-pickles), and [tamagoyaki](http://justhungry.com/basics-tamagoyaki-or-atsuyaki-tamago-japanese-sweet-omelette) can be found at Just Hungry and Just Bento. Kou and Kirishima shopped at Mode Off and Uniqlo, and [this is the shirt](http://www.uniqlo.com/us/product/men-haibara-short-sleeve-graphic-t-shirt-168367.html#09~/men/graphic-tees/artists/haibara/~) Kou picked out for Kirishima.
> 
> The title of this chapter is a pun on Chopin's Prelude in E-flat minor ("The Devil's Trill").


	6. First Date (Gold)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima and Kou finally set off on their first date to picnic in the park. But what will happen when Kou confronts Kirishima about what Akihito said about him? And will Kirishima make it back to Sion in time for work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

There’s a moderate amount of traffic on the highway, but Kou maneuvers his motorcycle around as much of it as he can. The last stretch before the park has less traffic, and Kou accelerates through the turns. Kirishima remembers Kou’s instructions to stay neutral to the bike, but Kou leans into the turns, and it feels like they’re going to slide onto their side at any second. His world consists of the rush of wind blowing through his sleeves and roaring past his helmet, the blur of early spring foliage in a dizzying array of colors, the thrum of the engine, and the warmth of Kou’s back as he clings to it. The whole world is tilting back and forth, but Kou is the anchor that keeps Kirishima steady.

Kou finally pulls up to a stop and holds the bike upright for Kirishima to dismount. But Kirishima can’t move. Eventually, Kou puts down the kickstand and hops off himself, turning to ask, “Are you alright?”

Kirishima tries to take off his helmet, but he’s forgotten how.

Kou helps him with it. “Are you alright?” Kou asks again as he lifts the helmet off Kirishima’s head.

“I’m fine,” Kirishima finally manages. He becomes aware that his cheeks are hurting, and he wonders dazedly why that might be. _Was it the wind? But I had a faceshield._

“I guess so,” Kou says, grinning down at him.

Kirishima tries to smile back, and only then does he realize that his face is already spread into a wide grin. _So that’s why my cheeks hurt._

As the adrenaline starts to seep from his body, he becomes aware of another reaction he had to the motorcycle ride.

“Er, I can’t stand up just yet,” he says, blushing.

Kou glances down and notices Kirishima’s predicament. “That happened to me the first time I rode, too.”

“You were a teenager, though!” Kirishima points out, trying to hide his predicament with his hands without being too obvious about it.

“A first time is still a first time, no matter when you have it,” Kou says sagely.

Kirishima eyes him curiously. “My boss said almost the same thing to me just the other day.”

“Your boss is smart. Speaking of your boss… What’s the name of the company you work for?”

Kirishima is suddenly quite capable of getting off the motorcycle, and he does so, dismounting on the side away from Kou as he says as nonchalantly as possible, “Sion.”

Kou breaks into a broad grin. “That’s the company my friend’s partner works for. Maybe you know him…” His face suddenly falls. “But maybe I shouldn’t say… Actually, my friend was surprised when he heard your name, and wondered if maybe you _did_ work for his partner, because you have the same family name as someone who does. But his description of you didn’t really match what I know of you, so we weren’t sure…”

Kirishima’s stomach turns to ice, but he doesn’t let it show. “What’s your friend’s name?” he asks as casually as possible.

“Hmm. I’d better not say. What do _you_ think his name is?” Kou says cagily.

Kirishima freezes. _Is this some kind of trap? Exactly what did Takaba say about me? That I treat him like a brat? That’s because he_ is _a brat. I knew he’d try to ruin things for me._

“Why is it so hard? Does your boss have multiple lovers?” Kou asks.

Kirishima shakes his head. He just needs to focus on Kou and forget about Takaba. “I’m not sure he’s ever really had anything you’d call a lover.”

“Ah, so Aki’s his first? Maybe that’s why he keeps getting mixed messages. He said –” Kou stops abruptly.

Kirishima decides to give Kou the name he’s been fishing for. “Aki? You mean Takaba Akihito?”

“Yeah… He said… He said that he thinks Asami-san is just playing with him until he gets bored. That everyone around Asami-san makes sure he remembers that he doesn’t belong in Asami-san’s world. Including you…” Kou trails off, blushing.

“I don’t really feel comfortable discussing Asami-sama’s relationship,” Kirishima says stiffly.

“Oh! Of course. I’m sorry. Yeah, I guess this _is_ pretty inappropriate.” Kou looks faintly disappointed, though.

 _Did I just fail a test?_ Kirishima wonders. But he really _can’t_ talk about Asami’s and Takaba’s relationship – especially knowing that Kou will repeat everything he says about it to Takaba, and Takaba will twist it and complain about it to Asami. And Asami will _not_ be pleased if he has more problems with Takaba due to Kirishima idly gossiping about him. Especially since one of Kirishima’s duties is to make sure _no one_ gets away with idly gossiping about Asami.

_I shouldn’t have even said anything about Asami-sama not having lovers. But Kou misinterpreted it, so hopefully that won’t come back to haunt me. I’ll have to be more careful from now on._

“Sorry. It really bothered you. I won’t bring it up anymore. I was just a little worried about my friend, but of course it’s different talking about a boss than a friend. Let’s go have our picnic,” Kou says.

“It’s fine,” Kirishima says. “Thanks for understanding.”

Kou leads him on a lovely forested path with nice overlooks of a small lake.

“This is a nice place,” Kirishima says, smiling.

“It is. I’m taking you to my favorite spot.” Kou leads the way off the marked trail past a small copse of closely growing trees and around behind a small hill. Behind the hill is a large, flat rock. Kou climbs easily onto the rock. Kirishima pulls himself up with a little more difficulty because his feet keep slipping on the rock.

“How did you make it look so easy?” he grumbles when he finally gets on top of the rock with a little help from Kou.

“Sorry, I practice parkour, and I forget that most people don’t know how to do that kind of stuff,” Kou says.

“Parkour? What’s that?”

Kou whips out his phone and shows Kirishima a few videos of young guys scaling buildings and making dangerous leaps. _So this is how Takaba learned his reckless behavior. Maybe we should look for some guards who’ve practiced this parkour; it seems like a useful discipline, at the very least for catching the brat when he runs._

“This is your favorite spot?” Kirishima asks, looking away from the screen to survey the scenery.

“Yeah. Those trees over by the lake turn a beautiful golden color in the fall. I think they’re even prettier than the gingko trees the park is famous for.”

“Those are beeches,” Kirishima says.

“Really? You’re really smart, aren’t you?”

Kirishima blushes, but before he can answer, his stomach rumbles. He blushes a deeper red. “Sorry, I didn’t have breakfast,” he admits.

Kou glances at his watch. “I’m so sorry! You should have eaten before we left! But let’s eat now.”

They unpack the bentos and dig in.

“Wow, this is so tasty! I can’t believe we made this!”

“Do you think you can do it on your own?” Kirishima asks.

“Maybe. If I had a recipe… And I could understand what the weird cooking terms mean.”

“I’ll write the recipes down for you,” Kirishima offers.

“Thanks. Speaking of the time…” Kou blushes faintly. “I was wrong about how long it takes to get here; I gave the time based on leaving from my house, but it took forty-five minutes to get here, and that was with me speeding a bit. What time do you have to be home to get ready for work?”

Kirishima does some quick mental calculations. He’ll need to shower, iron his clothes, dress, review his notes for the Tanihara meeting, drive to Sion, and arrive by 5:45 to make sure everything is ready for the meeting at six… If he skips the ironing… “Five at the very latest.”

Kou’s face falls. “Then we’d better leave at four at the latest, in case we run into more traffic on our way back.”

Kirishima glances at his watch. It’s already 3:25. “Sorry, we took too long with all the shopping we had to do because of me.”

“That would have been fine if I had been right about how long it took to get here. I guess we should have gone somewhere closer.”

“No, this is nice. I missed this,” Kirishima says.

“What do you mean, Kei-san?” Kou asks curiously.

“I used to be a cub scout, and we’d go camping and hiking a lot. I haven’t been in years, though.”

Kou smiles. “You were a boy scout? Somehow I can totally see that. Do you have any pictures of you in your uniform?”

“Why would you want to see that?” Kirishima asks, blushing. He used to wear his uniform whenever he wasn’t wearing his school uniform, and the other kids in his neighborhood teased him mercilessly about it. That was one of the reasons he quit scouting in middle school.

“I bet you looked cute in it,” Kou says.

Kirishima shrugs.

“Well, we’ll have to go on a longer hike sometime, then,” Kou says. “Somewhere a little less crowded than here.”

“This spot is nice, though,” Kirishima says.

“It is,” Kou agrees, leaning in for a kiss.

 

Thirty minutes later, they come up for air. Kou checks his watch. “Oh, no! It’s already four! We’d better hurry back!”

He leads the way back to the bike. The ride back is not quite as thrilling as the ride there, because Kirishima’s bottom is starting to get sore, as are his leg muscles from their awkward angle.

They hit considerable traffic heading into downtown, and though Kou navigates through back alleys to get them to Kirishima’s apartment faster, they still don’t arrive there until 5:10.

“I’m sorry!” Kou cries. “I’ll help you get ready.”

They’re interrupted by the apartment manager. “Kirishima-san! You’ve had a package in the office for two days already. Please pick it up now.”

“I’m sorry,” Kirishima says, bowing. “Thank you.” _What could it be? I don’t remember ordering anything._ As they wait for the elevator, he begins to unwrap the package, but when he sees a naked man on the cover of the book, he hastily covers it up again.

Kou looks at him curiously.

 _Did he see it?_ _Just what kind of book did Asami-sama send me?_ “I’ll open it later. I don’t really have time right now,” Kirishima says.

“I’ll help you get ready,” Kou repeats.

“What can you do?” Kirishima asks, mystified.

“You like to iron your clothes right before you wear them, right? I can iron them while you go shower.”

“Okay. Let me show you where everything is,” Kirishima says, setting the package down on the coffee table.

“I can find it. I’ll pick out a nice outfit for you. You just get in the shower,” Kou says.

The thought of not picking out his own outfit makes Kirishima a bit nervous, but he decides to do as Kou suggests. _It’s not like he can pick anything_ too _outrageous; I don’t own anything showy, anyway._

As he unbuttons his shirt, though, he remembers his wound. “Er, actually, Kou-san, could you please help me with my injury?”

He hands Kou the roll of plastic wrap and tape.

“What happened?” Kou asks as he sees the wound for the first time. “Were you in a car accident?”

“No, it happened at work,” Kirishima says.

“It’s a pretty big cut. Was it broken glass?”

“Yes,” Kirishima lies. “I tried to catch a punch bowl that slipped off a tray.”

 

When he emerges from the shower, he sees Kou ironing his one blue dress shirt. _How did he even find that?_

Kou glances up from the ironing board. “That was fast. Here.” He holds the shirt up so Kirishima can slide into it.

“Actually… I always wear a white shirt to work,” Kirishima says apologetically.

“Is that company policy?” Kou asks.

Kirishima frowns. “No… I don’t _think_ so… Not officially, but it might as well be. It’s what everyone wears.” _Probably because it’s what_ I _always wear, and everyone else has followed suit… I wonder what Asami-sama would think if I wore something other than white._

Kou sighs. “I figured that might be the case.” He reaches down and grabs a white shirt that’s hanging from the ironing board. “I ironed one of those, too, just in case.”

Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief. With Kou’s help, he dresses quickly. While Kirishima dresses his bottom half, Kou gathers the used plastic wrap and tape and heads to the kitchen to throw it out. He comes back into the room, holding up the bloodied shirt from last night, wide-eyed.

“It had to go through the shirt to get to my arm,” Kirishima points out.

“It’s a lot of blood,” Kou says. He takes Kirishima’s right arm and bends down, gently kissing the elbow.

“It’s fine. It’ll heal,” Kirishima reassures him. No one’s ever really fussed over him before, and he feels a little uncomfortable at the attention. “I really have to go,” he reminds Kou.

“Right. Here’s your briefcase. Are you driving to work?”

Kirishima frowns. With the current gridlock downtown, he’ll be late. But if he takes the train, he’ll be late, too. “I’d better call my boss,” he says. _How could I let this happen? Asami-sama gave me so much time off and only asked that I be there at six. How can I possibly be late after he did all that for me?_

“I’ll give you a ride,” Kou says. “We can make it faster cutting through the alleys.”

Kirishima’s mind races. “Are you sure?”

“Give me the address.”

Kirishima does, and Kou pulls up a map on his phone. He looks up a “walking” path, changes the route in a few places, and there are only two blocks that have to be done via road.

“I can enter the building here,” Kirishima says, tapping the screen. Kou changes the end destination, and there’s only half a block left along the road.

“I think it’ll take about ten minutes,” Kou says.

“That’s faster than when there’s little traffic.” Kirishima gapes at him.

“No traffic lights,” Kou explains. He grins cheekily. “Does that mean we have time for a kiss?”

Kirishima checks his watch. He hasn’t reviewed the documents yet, but Morita can help with the set-up, and Kirishima really only needs a few minutes to review the essential numbers.

“You’re so conscientious,” Kou says, giving him puppy eyes.

“We have three minutes,” Kirishima says, grinning back at Kou.

 

As they head out the door, Kirishima notes that the paper on the package on the coffee table has been torn a bit more.

“Did you look at it?” he asks, blushing.

“Sorry. I thought I saw a naked man when you started unwrapping it in the elevator, and I got curious. You ordered a book for us?” Kou asks, smiling shyly.

Kirishima relaxes a little, but his face is still flaming. “No. My boss did.”

“Your boss did?!” Kou exclaims.

“He was worried I’d try to research it myself and find bad information. Or so he claimed. I think he just wanted to tease me,” Kirishima explains.

“You guys have a weird relationship.”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima asks.

“You obviously discussed us with your boss. Is that normally something you’d do? And you call him ‘sama.’”

“Sorry. He noticed the kissmarks the other morning and teased me about them,” Kirishima explains.

“It’s fine. I talked to my friend about it, after all,” Kou says. “Say, can I borrow that book when you’re done with it?”

“Sure,” Kirishima says. “Actually, I won’t get to it before Monday, so you can borrow it now, if you want.”

“Really? Okay.” Kou takes it from the coffee table and they head for the door.

As they ride down the elevator, Kirishima asks, “Is it legal to ride through the alleys the way you do?”

Kou glances to the side. “It’s a gray area… As long as there are no _signs_ , it’s technically not _il_ legal.”

“How often are there signs?”

“I don’t know… Sometimes,” Kou says cagily. “But the advantage of a motorcycle is that it’s hard to catch up to one, especially in narrow alleys. I have a perfect driving record.”

Kirishima smiles. “I wasn’t judging you.” He kisses Kou on the nose.

The elevator doors open, and they step awkwardly away from each other, trying to look nonchalant as a sour-faced older woman gets on.

 

Ten minutes later, they’re pulling up to a side door at Sion. “Do I look okay?” Kirishima asks as he takes off his helmet and hands it to Kou.

Kou helps him out of the borrowed motorcycle jacket and smooths down Kirishima’s sleeves. “You look fine. It’s a good thing your hair is so short,” he says as he reaches up to rub Kirishima’s scalp. “You can’t get helmet head.”

Kirishima glances around and steals a quick kiss before rushing inside. He gets to the meeting with five minutes to spare. Morita has already set everything up, so Kirishima quickly reviews the essentials.

“I didn’t think you were going to make it in time,” Asami drawls.

“Of course I would be on time!” Kirishima says indignantly. _You can’t cut it that close again,_ he admonishes himself. _There’s no room for mistakes, no matter how small._

“Did you have a good time on your date?”

“Yes.”  Kirishima can’t keep the smile off his face, the stress of the last hour forgotten. “It was a golden afternoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book Asami ordered for Kirishima is (a Japanese book similar to) _Men Loving Men (A Gay Sex Guide & Consciousness Book)_ by Mitch Walker (warning: book cover is NSFW).


	7. Offbeat (Khaki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima goes to work after his date, but somehow he feels distracted and out of rhythm. Between the prying of the Sion psychologist, the incessant teasing of Suoh, and the pressure of work, will he be able to hold onto that golden feeling after his date? Or will he decide he needs to slow down this relationship before it's even properly gotten off the ground?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters (mostly for my own reference):  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

The Tanihara meeting goes smoothly enough, though there’s one instance in which Asami asks Kirishima for a number and he can’t recall it off the top of his head. Thankfully, long practice enables him to find it quickly in the document on his tablet, and only Asami seems to notice the slight pause before he recites the figure.

After the Tanihara meeting, Morita briefs Kirishima on the Suzuki summit that took place earlier. Kirishima nods in appreciation. “Good work. Send the summary to me by noon tomorrow, please.”

“Yes, fuku-shacho-san.”

Kirishima heads to Asami’s office to brief him on his upcoming meetings.

“Don’t forget your appointment with Kurebayashi-sensei at 7:30,” Asami says as Kirishima excuses himself.

“I won’t, Asami-sama.” Kirishima bows and leaves the room before glancing at his watch. It’s 7:27.

He races down the four flights of stairs to Kurebayashi’s office, arriving with twenty-three seconds to spare.

“Kirishima-kun. Nice of you to show up,” Kurebayashi says.

“Of course, Kurebayashi-sensei.”

“Most of you cowboys like to try to skip these meetings. Do you think it’s a waste of time, too?” Kurebayashi’s intense stare seems to pierce right into Kirishima’s brain.

“A bit.” Kirishima gasps. He hadn’t meant to say that. “I’m sorry, I just meant that –”

Kurebayashi chuckles and gestures for him to take a seat. “It’s good that you feel you can be honest with me. That’s most important.”

Somehow, despite the lenient words, Kurebayashi’s tone makes him feel like a scolded schoolboy. “It’s just that the incident last night was so minor, I feel like _I’m_ wasting _your_ time. I’m fine, really.”

Kurebayashi simply eyes him, not saying anything.

Kirishima doesn’t have anything else to say, so he lets the uncomfortable silence stretch. _I can outlast you._

Sure enough, Kurebayashi eventually breaks the silence. “Is there anything in your personal life that’s been distracting you at work?”

Though his outward expression doesn’t change, Kirishima inwardly frowns. _Just what has Asami-sama been saying about me?_ “No.”

Kurebayashi clears her throat in a manner that implies she doesn’t believe him. They play the long silence game again, and once again, Kirishima outwaits Kurebayashi.

“Tell me about what happened last night,” Kurebayashi finally says.

“What’s to tell? It was supposed to be a simple business transaction. We deliver the goods; they deliver the money. Everything appeared to be going smoothly. Suddenly the other party decided he wanted the goods _and_ the money, and he pulled out a knife, aiming for Asami-sama. I tried to knock the knife away, but I was a bit slow.” Kirishima shrugs.

“How does that make you feel?”

Kirishima stares at Kurebayashi. _How am I supposed to answer that?_

He waits for Kurebayashi to speak again. The silence drags on. Finally, Kurebayashi raises her eyebrows. “Was the question unclear?”

“No. I’m just wondering what exactly you’re looking for.”

Kurebayashi tsks. “There’s no right or wrong answer here. I’m just trying to help you sort through what happened. How do you feel about it? Were you frightened? Are you angry? Disappointed? Guilty? Sad? Satisfied? Nervous? Whatever.”

Kirishima shrugs. “I don’t know. There wasn’t really time to think about what was happening; I just reacted. My arm will heal, so it’s no big deal.”

Kurebayashi makes that disbelieving sound in her throat again.

“It’s true,” Kirishima says defensively. “These kinds of things happen sometimes. I’ve been trained to handle them, and that training kicked in. Sure, I got injured, but the injury was relatively minor. It happens. But I’m not going to suddenly be scared that every business transaction is going to turn into the same thing. The situation was handled well. It’s over now.”

“Is this the first time you’ve been injured on the job?” Kurebayashi asks, flipping through a file folder.

“No,” Kirishima says. They play the silence game again, and Kirishima finally sighs and adds, “In Hong Kong. I was shot.”

“Right. Hong Kong. Did you talk to anyone after that?”

Kirishima eyes her. Sure, he talked to Asami, explaining how Takaba managed to get away from Kirishima’s protection and put himself back into danger. But somehow Kirishima doesn’t think that’s what Kurebayashi means by “talking to someone.”

Kurebayashi sighs. “I’ll take that as a ‘no.’ Protocol was not followed in Hong Kong. How am I supposed to do my job if I don’t know what’s happened to my patients?”

“Hong Kong was a while ago,” Kirishima points out. “It wasn’t my favorite experience, but all things considered, I was actually pretty lucky. I fully recovered.” He shrugs again. “I don’t know; I don’t get why I’m supposed to make a big deal out of these things. Life happens. You deal with it as it comes. There’s no sense dwelling on the past.”

“Last night is not exactly the past,” Kurebayashi says.

“Last night was just a scratch,” Kirishima says.

“Does a scratch require seventeen stitches?” Kurebayashi retorts.

Kirishima shrugs. “Apparently. It really wasn’t that deep.” He bends and straightens his arm as much as he can to show that it’s fine.

“Don’t do that. You’ll pull on the stitches and increase scarring,” Kurebayashi admonishes.

Kirishima lets the arm drop to his side. “It’s fine. It really was no big deal. I’ve been in plenty of more dangerous situations before, and I know how to handle it.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

Kirishima laughs, thinking the psychiatrist is making a joke, but her face remains serious. “Of course not. But if I were to die protecting Asami-sama, it would be a good death. I wouldn’t regret it.”

“Do you often race motorcycles through the alleys of Tokyo?”

Kirishima furrows his brow. “I don’t even have a motorcycle.” But as he remembers his first time on one, just a few hours ago, he blushes faintly.

“I told you it was important to tell me the truth. Even if you don’t _have_ one, you ride on one.”

“I did for the first time today,” Kirishima admits. “But we weren’t _racing_. It was just a…” Kirishima trails off. Even though it seems like Asami might have already told Kurebayashi about Kou, he doesn’t feel the need to talk about it. _It has nothing to do with work._

“A date,” Kurebayashi finishes for him. “Asami-kun already told me you’re dating a boy.”

“He’s not a boy. He’s an adult,” Kirishima corrects.

Kurebayashi peers at Kirishima over the file folder. “You said that you’d be willing to die for Asami-kun. Are you in love with him?”

“What? No!” Kirishima splutters. He can feel his face starting to turn red from the mere idea of it. _No, stop that. If you blush, she’ll think you’re lying._ And he’s not lying. That much he’s sure of. Kirishima focuses on multiplying sixty-seven times seventy-three in his head, and the blush recedes.

Kurebayashi stares at him, playing the waiting game again.

Kirishima remains silent, determined to outlast her this time.

Finally, Kurebayashi says, “So how exactly _do_ you view your relationship with Asami-kun? What are your feelings towards him?”

“I’ve known him since high school, and I owe him a debt of gratitude starting from that time. He’s someone I highly respect, and I will follow him wherever he leads me.”

“Even if that’s to prison? Or death?”

“Yes, if need be. Asami-sama would never ask me to go to prison in his stead, but I would if it would spare him. He would take care of me there and when I got out.”

“But you’re not in love with him.”

“No. I’ve never been in love with anyone…” Kirishima trails off. _Don’t say too much._

Kurebayashi’s eyebrows shoot up. “Never? What about this boy – young man – you’re dating?”

“I don’t know. We just met each other last week. I do like him, but I don’t know him well enough yet to say I love him.”

“What about people you’ve dated in the past?”

“I’ve never dated anyone before,” Kirishima admits. This time, he can’t keep the blush from flooding his face. After a short pause, he adds, “I was too busy with work, and I never really felt the need to. I was satisfied with my life as it was.”

“What about now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you still satisfied with how you were living, now that you’ve started dating someone?”

“Sure. I mean, I’m enjoying dating Kou-san, but if we were to stop dating, I’d probably go back to how I was living before.” Kirishima’s tone is hesitant. _Would I really be satisfied with that now, though?_

After a few more questions about the incident the night before, Kurebayashi finally lets Kirishima get back to work. Due to coming in late and disrupting his routine with the meeting with the psychologist, Kirishima can’t seem to find his rhythm, and the workday feels unusually long (despite its actual shortness compared to his usual workdays).

At midnight, Kirishima finishes briefing Asami on the phone calls he has to make in the next hour. As Kirishima bows, ready to leave Asami’s office, he’s stopped by Asami’s voice.

“I just received Kurebayashi’s report,” Asami says.

Kirishima raises his head but doesn’t say anything.

“She says you’re woefully out of touch with your feelings. She called you ‘a ticking time bomb.’”

“Asami-sama, I –” Kirishima begins.

Asami waves his hand. “If you weren’t ‘cut off from your feelings,’ you wouldn’t be able to do your job. Still, she wants to meet with you once a week for the next six weeks, at least. I think it might be a good idea.”

“Very well, Asami-sama.” Kirishima bows and leaves the room. When he gets to his own office, he pauses at the door but passes it, heading to the kitchen. He needs some tea. He sits at the table in the kitchen, breathes deeply, and the soothing aroma of the tea calms him. _How am I supposed to make it through six more sessions like that?_

“Kurebayashi getting to you?” Suoh drawls from the door. He closes the door behind himself, grabs a chair, turns it around backwards, and straddles it, leaning on the back.

“That’s bad for the chair,” Kirishima chides him.

“Oh, she got you good, huh?” Suoh reaches over and pats Kirishima’s shoulder. “How’s the arm doing today?”

“It’s fine,” Kirishima says.

“No fever?”

“A slight one when I woke up. I took some medicine for it. I haven’t checked it since then, but I feel fine.”

Suoh feels Kirishima’s forehead with the back of his hand.

“That doesn’t really work, you know.”

“Why do you always have to be so difficult? You don’t feel warm.” Suoh watches Kirishima take a few more sips of his tea before continuing. “You just need to tell her what she wants to hear.”

“How am I supposed to know what she wants to hear?”

“Just pretend like you’re normal. Say you’re feeling what a normal person would feel.”

“I am normal.”

“Normal people aren’t ‘ticking time bombs’ out of touch with their emotions.”

Kirishima glares at Suoh. “Like you’re ‘in touch with your emotions.’”

“In front of Kurebayashi, I am.”

“Then what’s the point of Asami-sama even hiring her?”

“Look. Sometimes people get shaken by the things we see. Most people do, at some point. When they are, she helps them. We can’t have someone freaking out in the middle of a situation; it would put the rest of the team in jeopardy. Kurebayashi can figure out who’s likely to do that – and help them get over it so they can get back to the field. If they can’t get over it, we can reassign them permanently. But Kurebayashi won’t ever get people like us and Asami-sama. We freak her out. So you just have to pretend you’re normal.”

“So I should pretend I’m ‘freaked out’ by this scratch?”

“Not freaked out. Just… a little bothered. Be angry.”

“What’s the point of being angry at a dead man?”

“We can’t have Kurebayashi knowing he’s dead, can we? Anyway, normal people would still be angry. The other party being dead doesn’t change what they did to you.”

“Okay…” Kirishima says.

“And maybe pretend that it frightened you a little. Not too much – you don’t want her telling Asami-sama you’re unfit. But just say you had a nightmare about it or something.”

Kirishima stares at Suoh.

“What? I’ve had to see Kurebayashi after six different incidents. I never had to see her more than once for any of them, though.” Suoh claps Kirishima on the shoulder again.

“Thanks, Kazu-nii,” Kirishima says softly.

Suoh smirks.

Kirishima suddenly realizes what he called him. “Shut up. I’m tired.”

Suoh mercifully lets it go with a “You’re cute sometimes, Kei. You should try to let it out more often. Motomi would probably appreciate it.”

Kirishima tosses a napkin at him.

Suoh laughs. He stands up and puts his chair back. As he’s leaving the kitchen, he calls over his shoulder, “I want to hear how your date went later.”

 _In your dreams._ No way will Kirishima be sharing any details with either Suoh or Asami. _Wait, how did Kurebayashi-sensei know I was riding Kou-san’s motorcycle? I mentioned that to Asami-sama, I think… but she said something about racing through the alleys of Tokyo._

_She saw us when Kou-san dropped me off._

Kirishima drops his empty teacup. Thankfully, it only falls a few inches and doesn’t break. He pulls out his tablet and writes a note for himself.

_Rules for Dating_

  1. _No PDA anywhere in public, even if you check for people – including elevators, hallways, and cars._
  2. _No dates anywhere in Shinjuku (except maybe Ni-chōme)._
  3. _Dates must end at least 2 hours before work._
  4. _No dates outside of Tokyo except on days off._
  5. _Do not tell Asami-sama or Suoh-san_ anything _._
  6. _No blushing._



That last one is probably impossible, but he’s sure going to try.

Kirishima washes his teacup and gets back to work. He doesn’t think to check his phone until he’s riding the elevator downstairs at three o’clock to go home. There are a few texts from Kou.

_Hope you made it to your meeting in time. Sorry we cut it so close._

_Next time we’ll make sure you’re home early. Or go out after work._

_Are you mad at me? I’m sorry._

_Heading to bed now. Hope you’re not mad at me._

Kirishima sighs and texts Kou back, hoping he silenced his phone and won’t be awakened by the message.

_Good morning. I’m sorry for my late response; work was very busy._

_The meeting went fine. I’m not mad. But I agree we should plan things better next time._

_I hope you slept well._

Kirishima exits the elevator and looks around the parking garage for his car. After a few moments, he remembers that Kou dropped him off. He sighs and pulls out his phone again, ready to call for a taxi.

“Something the matter, Kei?” Suoh asks.

“I got dropped off and don’t have my car,” Kirishima explains.

“Dropped off? From your date?” Suoh smirks.

“Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m trying to call a cab.” Kirishima dials the cab company. “Yes, I’d like a cab at – ”

Suoh takes the phone from him and hangs up. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

“It’s alright. I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way.”

“It’s no problem. It’s the least family can do.” Suoh’s smirk tells Kirishima that Suoh just wants to tease him about his date. But he can’t refuse the ride after Suoh invoked their familial relationship, so he follows him reluctantly.

“I’m not telling you anything about the date, though,” he warns as he climbs into the passenger seat.

“You won’t have to. I’ll just ask, and your face will tell me everything, whether you want to or not.” Suoh chuckles to himself.

Kirishima inwardly groans but refuses to let his annoyance show on his face. He starts running through the stations on the Yamanote train line in his head.

“How was the park?”

_Shinjuku._

“Did you enjoy riding a motorcycle?”

 _Chin bokki [erection]. No, Shin-Okubo!_ Kirishima can feel the blush starting to creep across his face. _Takadanobaba. Mejiro. Ikebukuro._

“What happened on the motorcycle? Did you _enjoy_ riding two-up?” Suoh teases.

“Keep your eyes on the road,” Kirishima mutters. _Otsuka. Sugamo._

“Are you doing multiplication in your head again? That won’t work on me,” Suoh says.

“No.” _Komagome. Tabata. Nishi-Nippori._

“The Yamanote line? That won’t work either. Osaki, Otsuka, Okachimachi.”

“Nippori,” Kirishima stubbornly continues on, refusing to be distracted by Suoh naming random stations on the line.

Suoh laughs. “Motomi must have a lot of skill for you to be so stubborn about it. You did use protection, right?”

“Kazumi! We were in a public park!”

“My first time was in a public park,” Suoh says, shrugging.

“You were a teenager, though, right? You probably had nowhere else to go.”

“Ah… so you guys waited until you got back to your place. Is that why you cut it so close this evening?”

“Kazumi! Pull over; I’ll walk the rest of the way home.” Kirishima scowls and looks out the window.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing you. You really need to learn how to lighten up, though.”

“I’m fine just the way I am,” Kirishima says. _Kou-san says I am… And maybe he’s right._

“If you’re happy that way,” Suoh says.

 _Am I?_ Kirishima wonders. But he doesn’t have long to do so, because Suoh pulls into his parking garage and parks. “Thanks for the ride,” Kirishima says as he gets out of the car. “Why are you getting out, too?”

“I want to check on your wound. After your hike, the bandage should probably be changed, and you can’t do that yourself.”

“I didn’t get that sweaty. It’s still chilly out,” Kirishima protests.

“It’s still better to check it, see if there are any signs of infection. Who knows where that knife has been.”

Once inside, Suoh heads to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. He comes back out with a smirk on his face.

 _What now?_ Kirishima wonders wearily.

“He’s already keeping a toothbrush here? Does he have underwear and clothes here, too?”

Suoh starts to pull open Kirishima’s drawers, but Kirishima blocks him. “Lay off, Kazumi. That’s enough.”

“Fine. Give me your arm.” Suoh removes the bandage quickly. “You kept it pretty clean today.”

“I told you I did.”

When Suoh reveals the wound, they both see that the skin is a little red around the edges. “Have you been taking your antibiotics today?”

“I forgot,” Kirishima confesses.

Suoh checks the medicine cabinet but comes back empty-handed. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know.” Kirishima racks his mind. “I don’t think I ever took it out of my briefcase last night.”

Suoh rummages through one of the outer pockets until he pulls out the prescription, still sealed. “You haven’t taken it at all?”

“I’m sorry. I forgot.”

Suoh hands Kirishima two tablets.

“I thought it said to take only one at a time.”

“This will get it started working quicker. I’m setting your alarm for the next dose. Make sure you wake up enough to take it. And take a peek at the wound when you do. If it’s any worse, you have to go back to the doctor right away and get something stronger.”

Suoh rebandages the wound, leaving the bottom loosely attached so that Kirishima will be able to look at it more easily in a few hours.

“Should I stay here with you?” Suoh worries.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be fine. It’s just a scratch.”

“A scratch that’s well on its way to turning into blood poisoning. If it reaches that stage, it can progress rapidly.” Suoh starts typing on his phone.

“Who are you texting?” Kirishima asks.

“I’m letting Asami-sama know. And I’m having Yabu-sensei come check on it tomorrow morning. She’ll be here at ten.”

“That’s only six hours from now.”

“I know. So get to sleep.”

“It’ll probably be fine now that I’ve taken the antibiotics. I don’t want to waste sensei’s time.”

“Better safe than sorry. Goodnight, Kei.”

Suoh lets himself out.

Kirishima crawls into bed, but he can’t seem to fall asleep. Whenever he gets close, his body feels like it’s on the back of Kou’s motorcycle again, and it brings him back to full wakefulness. After fifteen minutes, he sighs and picks up his phone.

_I can’t fall asleep. I keep remembering how it felt to ride on your bike._

_I hope we can get together again soon._

He sets the phone down. He doesn’t really have anything exciting to say, after all. What was it Kou told him again? Just to tell him whatever was happening, no matter how boring Kirishima himself finds it…

_My cousin fussed at me because I forgot to take my medicine and my wound is turning red._

_Oh, but I’ve taken it now, so it should be fine._

_But my cousin is making me see a doctor in the morning. (^_^;)_

Kirishima freezes. What if Kou starts worrying? Or thinks he’s being too melodramatic?

_Sorry. It’s really no big deal. Just trying to share my day, but it was so boring (after our date, I mean! That was the best part). Too many meetings._

_Anyway, good night. Hope you’re having sweet dreams._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger. It's the 21st century; blood poisoning is usually not very serious (and I'm not going to turn it into MRSA or anything), so you don't have to worry about Kirishima too much.
> 
> I plan to work on Exhibition (my current Checklist universe story) next. I need to revise the last chapter (there were a few issues of clarity and me just omitting important parts of the story) and post the next one, and I'm enjoying alternating between the two stories because they have different vibes (and I don't want to leave either hanging for too long).


	8. Sickbed (Mauve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima's stab wound takes a turn for the worse. Kou comes over to take care of him, but when Suoh shows up, too, will Kirishima's lies finally catch up with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ran a bit long. I knew where I wanted to end it, but Kou and Kirishima spent a bit more time flirting than I expected.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past
> 
> Japanese terms and customs:  
> okayu: a rice porridge often eaten when feeling sick (you can add vegetables, beans, etc. to it)  
> oyaji: middle-aged man  
> obasan: middle-aged woman  
> shogi: a Japanese game related to chess  
> ikebana: Japanese art of flower arrangement  
> Japanese business card culture: In Japan, business cards are presented and accepted with both hands. The receiver is expected to read it in its entirety (and during a business meeting, they would keep it out on the table for reference). Suoh’s handling of Kou’s card is rude and dismissive.

Kirishima groggily fumbles for the button to turn off his alarm. _Why was it set so early?_ He reaches for his glasses and knocks something onto the ground. He sighs as he puts his glasses on and slides out of bed to see what it was. He can’t see anything on the floor, so he crouches down to look under the bed.

Oh, right. The antibiotics. He picks up the bottle and takes out a pill. He doesn’t have a glass of water, so he swallows it dry. He crawls back under the covers, ready to go back to sleep, but he feels compelled to check his phone. There’s an e-mail from Morita; it’s the Suzuki Summit report. _That can wait until I’ve slept some more._

Nothing else is urgent from work, but there are a few texts from Kou. Kirishima smiles.

_Sorry, you already told me your work is really busy. I should stop expecting you to reply during work._

_I know how important your routines are, though, and I am sorry we cut it so close. We definitely won’t do that again._

_Your wound is turning red? Isn’t that bad? Did we do too much yesterday? Did I wrap it wrong before your shower? I hope your medicine helped._

_Let me know how you’re doing as soon as you wake up._

_Actually, can I come over to see how you are? I understand if you’re too busy, but I’m worried about you._

Kirishima smiles. _He’s acting like a mother hen._ Kirishima is used to others calling him that, but he’s never had anyone fuss over him this way. It feels nice.

Kirishima starts to type that his wound is fine, but then he remembers Suoh’s admonition to check it when he wakes up. When he pulls off the bandage, the skin around the edges is still red. _Is it worse than last night? I can’t really tell. I think it is, but I’m not sure. I should have taken a picture. Well, if it_ is _worse, it’s not_ that _much worse. It’s definitely not better, though._

Since the doctor’s going to be there in two hours, Kirishima decides not to worry about it too much. He texts Kou back.

_Good morning, Kou-san. I just got up to take my next dose of medicine._

_The bandage was still clean when I changed it last night. It’s just because I forgot to take the medicine._

When Kirishima finishes texting the second message, he notices there’s already a reply to the first.

_Good morning, Kei-san! You haven’t slept very much._

_How’s the wound now?_

_No, I’m heading back to sleep soon, but the doctor will be here at ten._

_How’s the wound?_

_I don’t know. It’s not better, but I don’t think it’s too much worse._

_That doesn’t sound good. I’m glad you’re seeing a doctor._

_It’s probably a good idea._

_Can I come over to help you around the house, help you get ready for work later, or anything?_

Kirishima hesitates. He does want to see Kou again, but he doesn’t want to take advantage of his kindness.

 _It’s okay if you don’t want me to. I just remember how hard it can be to do things with one hand from when I broke my arm in college. Besides, I want to see you again._ _（*´_ _▽_ _｀*_ _）_

_I want to see you again, too. But I don’t want to cause you any trouble._

_It’s no trouble! I don’t have to work today, and the only thing I have planned is to hang out with my friend this evening._

_Okay. The doctor is coming over at ten._

_Oh, he’s coming to your house? Then can I come over then, too? You can sleep some more after the doctor leaves if you want…_

Kirishima’s not sure how to respond. It feels weird to have Kou come over for his doctor’s appointment. _Why does he even want to?_ Kirishima thinks about what he would want if their roles were reversed. _I’d probably want to go over and take care of him, too._

_I can do some chores for you while you’re sleeping, but if it’s too weird, please let me know._

_Okay. If you don’t mind, please come over._

_Are you sure? I don’t want you saying that just to be polite._

_It’s fine, as long as it won’t be too much of a bother. Thank you._

_Okay! See you at ten. Do you need anything?_

Kirishima thinks about it. He’s still got some of the leftovers from making the bento yesterday, but there’s not much else prepared. He doesn’t feel hungry right now, which isn’t really surprising, but he feels off. Is it just fatigue? Or is it because of the infection? Either way, he won’t feel like cooking for a while.

_I think I’m okay._

_You sure? Your fridge looked pretty empty yesterday besides the bento ingredients. I can make you some okayu._

_I’m not sick._

_Yes, you are – or injured, at least.  Or I can bring you something else if you’d rather._

_Okayu would be fine. Don’t go to too much trouble, though._

_Okay. Get some sleep. I’ll see you at ten. Unless you need help dressing before the doctor arrives..._

Kirishima thinks about it. He thinks about Kou pressing his lithe athletic frame against Kirishima’s, their breaths mingling as they explore one another’s mouth… He suddenly feels hot. It wouldn’t be good to get all worked up before the doctor examines him.

_No, thanks. I think I’ll be fine. See you at ten._

 

Kirishima’s awakened by the ringing of his phone. He snatches it up. “Kirishima.”

“You sound like crap. How’s the arm?” It’s Suoh.

Kirishima sighs. “It’s fine, I guess. Yabu-sensei will tell me in…” He glances at the clock. “How is it already 9:45?”

“Were you asleep?”

“Yes. I’m getting up now.”

“Good. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Kirishima hurries out of bed and starts getting ready. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and notices that his right arm is now a bit achy. He feels chilly, so he pulls on a sweatshirt, too. Bending the arm hurts a lot more now than it did yesterday.

As he’s brushing his teeth, it hits him. _Kazu-nii said ‘we.’ Is he driving Yabu-sensei?_

His intercom buzzes. It’s Kou.

“Hi! How are you feeling now?” Kou smiles into the video feed.

“Alright,” Kirishima lies. “I’ll buzz you up.” His mind races. He most definitely does not want Kou and Suoh to meet. How can he get rid of Kou before Suoh gets here without hurting Kou’s feelings? Or barring that, how can he get Suoh to leave instead of coming in with Yabu?

When Kirishima opens the door, Kou eyes him carefully. “You look worried about something. Are you really fine?”

“Yes,” Kirishima says. “Come on in.”

Once in the genkan, Kirishima leans in to kiss Kou, but Kou pulls back to look at him again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He feels Kirishima’s forehead. “You’re burning up!”

“I am?” Kirishima asks. He shrugs. “Well, I guess it’s good the doctor is coming.”

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve got a line between your eyebrows. Did you not want me to come? I can go…”

“That’s not it!” Kirishima says hurriedly. “It’s just… I think my cousin is coming with the doctor, and…”

“And he doesn’t know you’re into men?” Kou guesses. “I can pretend to be just a friend, if you’d prefer.”

Kirishima closes his eyes and tries to think, but his head is starting to hurt. He definitely hasn’t gotten enough sleep yet. After a moment, he shakes his head. “That’s not it. He actually knows about you. It’s just… he likes to tease me. And I’m not sure I’m ready for him to meet you.”

“Okay,” Kou says quietly. “I understand. I mean, I _am_ a lot younger than you – and less successful.”

“That’s not it!” Kirishima protests. “I’m not embarrassed by you. I’m more embarrassed about what Suoh-san might say about _me_ to _you_.” _And to me about the two of us later._

Kou chuckles. “It’ll be fine. I can go if you want me to, but remember, I like you just the way you are. There’s nothing he could say that could change that.” He wrinkles his forehead. “Suoh-san? That sounds like a last name. Are you and your cousin not particularly close?”

“If anything, it’s the opposite. We work for the same company, so we use last names at work. Since we see each other at work more than anywhere else, sometimes I slip and still call him that in private, too.”

“Oh.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Kirishima doesn’t have any more time to think about how to avoid Suoh and Kou meeting. The only place Kou could hide in the apartment is probably under the bed, and Kirishima’s not going to ask him to do that. Especially since if Suoh _does_ discover him, Kirishima will never hear the end of it. And he’d never be able to look Yabu-sensei in the eye again.

Kou sits on the couch in the living room, trying to look nonchalant. He sets a bag Kirishima hadn’t noticed before on the far side of the couch.

There’s a louder knock on the door.

“Kei? Are you in there?”

“I’m coming,” Kirishima calls.

He opens the door and lets Suoh and Yabu in. When Suoh notices Kou, he looks like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“You have a friend over?”

Kou quickly stands. “Yes, I’m Motomi Kou. When I heard about Kirishima-san’s injury, I thought I’d stop by and bring him a few supplies and see if he needed anything.”

“So you’re Motomi-kun, huh?” Suoh quickly scans Kou from head to toe, noting the helmet hair, off-brand t-shirt, cheap jeans, and generic sneakers. Suoh’s smirk tells Kou he knows exactly what kind of relationship he has with Kirishima, and Kou can’t help but blush a little.

“Yes. You must be Kirishima-san’s cousin. I’m sorry, I forgot your name.”

“It’s Suoh. This is Yabu-sensei. She’s here to examine Kei.”

“Nice to meet you. I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll just go put the things I brought away in the kitchen,” Kou quickly excuses himself, still flustered.

“Kazu-nii,” Kirishima says in a warning tone, the effect of which is muted by the unfortunate honorific that slipped out. _Why do I keep doing that? Is it because Kazumi’s been acting more like his bullying younger self lately? Or because_ I’m _regressing?_

Suoh raises his eyebrows innocently. Before they can get into a discussion, Yabu interrupts. “You’ll need to take that shirt off if you want me to examine that arm.”

Kirishima rolls up his sleeve, but Yabu persists.

“I said off. Suoh-san said it was very red and inflamed last night. I’ll need to check your lymph nodes, too.”

Kirishima removes the sweatshirt gingerly.

“Is the arm sore?”

“A little today.”

“More so than yesterday?”

“Yes.” Kirishima feels cold, so he grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and covers as much of his upper body as he can.

“Are you experiencing chills?”

“Yes,” Kirishima admits.

Yabu opens her bag and pulls out a thermometer. She sticks it in Kirishima’s mouth and takes his blood pressure on his good arm. “How many doses of your antibiotic have you taken? And how often have you been taking it?”

Suoh answers for him. “He took the first one just before four a.m. I gave him a double dose and set an alarm for the second dose at eight.” He looks at Kirishima. “Did you take it?”

Kirishima nods.

Yabu pulls out the thermometer and tsks. “You have a high fever. I’m going to examine the wound now.”

When she pulls back the bandage, Kirishima no longer has any doubts – it definitely looks worse than last night. There’s a faint red streak leading from the wound towards his armpit.

“I thought you said you were fine!” Suoh says.

“It didn’t look like that at eight,” Kirishima explains.

Yabu tsks again. “I’m going to have to take a culture. The antibiotic should have stopped it from progressing, at least, so there’s obviously resistance. First, let’s see how far the infection has progressed.”

She palpates various locations of lymph nodes and assesses for pain.

“Well, it hasn’t reached the lymph nodes in your armpit yet. I’m going to give you an IV of a different antibiotic. Hopefully, we’ll get lucky and pick one it’s not resistant to. The cultures will take several hours. If it progresses much further, I’ll want to admit you to the hospital.”

Kirishima nods.

“I need to ask Kirishima-san a few questions in private. Is there somewhere we can talk alone?”

“There’s the bedroom,” Kirishima says.

“That will work.” Once they’re alone, Yabu asks about Kirishima’s health history, specifically about whether he has any conditions that would affect his immune system.

“No. I was in perfect health at my last exam in October.”

“Have you engaged in any risky behaviors since then?”

“Risky?” _My job by its very nature is ‘risky.’ That’s why we’re here now._

Yabu explains briskly. “This information is completely confidential, but it’s important for me to know so I can give you proper care. Risky as in intravenous drug use or unprotected sex, particularly with a sex worker, another man, or multiple partners. Anything where an exchange of body fluids might have taken place – well, besides kissing, unless you had an open sore in your mouth at the time.”

Kirishima blushes. “No.”

“Are you sure? It’s important to be honest, even if you’re embarrassed.”

Kirishima wants to bury his face under the covers, but he continues to answer the doctor’s probing questions.

 

Meanwhile, Suoh and Kou are left alone out in the living area. After several long moments of awkward silence, Kou asks, “Is Kei-san going to be alright?”

“Once Yabu-sensei finds an antibiotic that works, he’ll be fine. The problem is that we don’t know how clean that blade was.”

“Blade?” Kou asks. “I thought it was a punch bowl.”

Suoh inwardly curses himself. _Kei’s going to be furious._ “There were several things on the tray when it fell. The bowl didn’t break until it hit the ground. Kei was trying to catch it, so he may not have even noticed the knife. It was used for a sushi demonstration, so it was very sharp,” Suoh lies smoothly.

“Oh.”

Kou still looks like he’s troubled, so Suoh decides some distraction is in order. _The best defense is a good offense._ “You just called Kei by his first name. How long have you known him?”

Kou blushes faintly. “Only about a week. I guess we just hit it off and became close quickly because we have a lot in common.”

Suoh’s eyebrows shoot up. “You do? May I ask what you do for a living?” He eyes Kou again quickly from head to toe, which somehow communicates, “You certainly don’t _look_ like you belong to our social class.”

Kou squares his shoulders and lifts his chin. _Kei-san told me he’s not embarrassed by my age or job._ “I’m a freelance graphic designer.” He pulls out a business card and presents it to Suoh.

Suoh accepts the business card with one hand and only gives it a cursory glance before shoving it in his pocket. “So what could you possibly have in common with Kei?”

“We both want to experience more of the world,” Kou explains.

Suoh’s eyebrows shoot up again, but before he can say anything else, Yabu opens the door. “I’ve set up the antibiotic drip.”

Suoh and Kou head into the bedroom, where Kirishima is reclining on the bed, his back propped up with pillows. The IV bag is hanging from the light fixture.

Yabu says, “Once this is done, I need to drop these samples off at the lab. Someone should stay with you here and help monitor your condition.”

“I’ll do it,” Suoh and Kou offer at the same time.

“I’ll be fine,” Kirishima protests.

“You really should have someone else here; you can’t see all of the affected area yourself.” Yabu turns to the others. “If the red streak progresses more than two centimeters farther, you should head directly to the hospital. Don’t wait for me. But I’d appreciate updates every half hour. I’ll be back in four hours to check things for myself, but I can return sooner if necessary.”

Suoh turns to Kou. “Thanks for checking on Kei. You can go ahead and go now. I’m sure you have things to do.”

But Kou looks at Kirishima. “Kei-san?”

Kirishima looks away as he blushes. “I’m sorry, Kou-san.” Suoh casts Kou a triumphant look. Kou’s face starts to droop, but Kirishima continues, “But do you mind staying with me?”

Kou’s face immediately brightens. “No problem!”

Kirishima turns to Suoh. “Thanks for offering to stay with me, Kazumi, but you’ve got to take Yabu-sensei back. Anyway, with me out of commission, Asami-sama needs you.”

Suoh nods curtly.

Yabu teaches Kou how to measure the progression of the infection.

“Should I send you pictures with my updates?” Kou asks.

Yabu frowns. “It’s so faint, I’m not sure it will show up.”

Kou adjusts the settings on his camera phone, zooms in on Kirishima’s arm, and snaps a picture. He shows it to Yabu. “Is this clear enough? Did I get everything important in the shot?”

Yabu raises her eyebrows. “Wow. That’s some camera you’ve got on that phone. Yes, please send me pictures with your updates.”

Soon, the antibiotic drip has finished, and Yabu and Suoh leave. Once they’re gone, Kou fluffs Kirishima’s pillows and smooths the blanket over him. “Can I get you anything?”

Kirishima nods. “Can you please bring me my briefcase?”

“You look exhausted. Can’t it wait?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I’ll sleep better if I take care of a few things first. I won’t work long.”

Kou eyes him. “I’ll give you fifteen minutes; then I’m taking it away.”

“I need at least an hour,” Kirishima protests.

“Thirty minutes. That’s my final offer. You can do more _after_ you rest.”

“Fine.” Kirishima sighs. He really is exhausted.

He skims the Suzuki Summit report and reviews his to-do list and Asami’s itinerary for the day. He’s finalizing the note for Morita when Asami calls.

“Asami-sama, my apologies for causing you trouble.”

“Kei, how are you?” Asami asks.

“I’m fine.”

“How are you really?”

“Tired,” Kirishima admits. “I should be fine once the antibiotics kick in and I get a little rest.”

“I should have given you the whole day off yesterday.”

“That wouldn’t have kept the infection from spreading,” Kirishima points out.

“But you might have noticed it sooner if you hadn’t been working so hard.”

“I wouldn’t have been working so hard if I hadn’t taken half the day off.”

“Touché. Still, take as much time off as you need. I don’t want to see your face before Tuesday.”

“I should be fine tomorrow,” Kirishima protests.

“I don’t want to have to listen to another hour-long lecture from Suoh about how much I’m overworking you,” Asami says with a note of finality.

“Yes, I understand, Asami-sama.”

As Kirishima is hanging up, Kou comes back into the room. “Time’s up.”

“I have to send this to my assistant,” Kirishima objects.

“We agreed to thirty minutes, Kei-san.”

“But I had to take a phone call.”

“Was it work?”

“It was my boss, but he was just asking how I was.”

“Fine. How much more time do you need?”

“Five minutes,” Kirishima promises.

“Okay. Have you eaten anything yet?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Your body still needs nourishment. The okayu’s going to take a while, but how about I bring you some of the leftovers from yesterday?”

Kirishima sighs. “Just a little, please. There’s already cooked rice in the freezer. You can thaw it in the microwave.”

When Kou enters carrying a tray, Kirishima closes his laptop and slips it and his papers back into his briefcase. Kou takes the briefcase and holds out his hand. “Your phone.”

“But what if it’s an emergency?”

“Then they can call someone else. They’ll survive for a few hours without you.”

Kirishima reluctantly hands his phone over. He feels almost naked without it, as if something essential is missing.

 “Before you eat, I’m supposed to check your wound and update Yabu-sensei,” Kou reminds him.

Kirishima struggles out of the right arm of his sweatshirt.

Kou claps his hands together once. “I nearly forgot!” He races out to the living room and quickly returns carrying the bag he brought over.  He pulls out a yukata and hands it to Kirishima. “I also got a few oversized t-shirts that should be easier to take on and off.” He rummages through the bag and pulls one out.

“It’s purple,” Kirishima observes.

“I know. I thought it would look good on you.” Kou helps Kirishima out of his shirt. “What happened here?” he suddenly asks.

Kirishima looks down where Kou is pointing at the long, wide scar from where the bullet grazed his side during the cruise ship showdown with Fei Long. “I fell out of a tree.”

“It doesn’t look that old,” Kou says. “Is it because it was such a wide scar? Did you get caught on a branch or something?”

“Yes,” Kirishima says. He shivers.

“Oh, sorry. Here, let’s get you dressed.” Kou holds the shirt out so Kirishima can slip his arms in.

When Kou inspects the wound, there’s no change from when he looked at it with Yabu. He snaps a picture and sends it to her. Her reply is quick.

_No change. Good. Maybe the new antibiotics are working. Keep checking every thirty minutes though._

Kou shows it to Kirishima before helping him into the yukata.

“This will be a lot easier to put on and off. Thank you, Kou-san. Can I pay you back for it?” Kirishima asks.

“No, you don’t need to do that. It’s a get-well gift. May you live to wear it.”

Kirishima squints at him.

“It’s an Irish blessing you say to people when they get new clothes. I had an exchange student friend in college who taught me it,” Kou explains.

“It sounds kind of morbid.”

Kou shrugs. “I guess it is. Sorry.”

“No, it’s nice. Thank you.” Kirishima picks up his chopsticks and starts to eat. After the first few bites, his appetite kicks in, and he’s soon eating heartily.

“I heard there’s a nice urban forest in Setagaya. Maybe we can go there the next time we want to hike. It’s supposed to have a waterfall,” Kou says.

“That sounds nice. And it’s nice and close.” Kirishima smiles. “Have I said ‘thank you’ yet?”

“You have. Several times, in fact,” Kou points out.

“I mean for coming here. For taking care of me. For just… being you.”

Kou grins. “You’re cheesy when you’re sick.”

“I’m sorry.” Kirishima bobs his head.

“Don’t be. You’re adorable.” Kou leans down and kisses him.

Kirishima deepens the kiss, but Kou pulls away after just a minute.

“I’m supposed to be helping you rest, not tiring you out,” he reminds Kirishima.

“I know,” Kirishima sighs.

“Hurry up and get better so we can go out again,” Kou says.

“Or stay in,” Kirishima says as he picks up his chopsticks again.

Kou giggles. “You’re very forward today.”

Kirishima turns red to the roots of his hair. “That’s not what I meant! Well, I didn’t _not_ mean it, either…” he mumbles.

Kou blushes, too. “I started reading that book you lent me last night. I brought it with me, in case you want to read it while you’re recovering.”

“Is it as… crazy as the cover suggests?” Kirishima asks, coughing.

“No, but it’s got a lot of good information. I guess it’s not really good convalescent reading material, though, is it?” Kou grins.

Kirishima feels so hot, he figures he must have reached maximum blush. He ducks his head and takes another bite.

When he’s finished eating, he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Time to sleep,” Kou orders. He arranges the pillows and blankets so that Kirishima’s right arm is covered by a single layer. “That way, I can check it without waking you up. Are you comfortable?”

Kirishima nods. “Thank you.”

 

Kirishima falls into a deep, dreamless sleep. He’s only awakened by Kou examining his arm.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Ready to rejoin the land of the awake and healthy?” Kou smiles down at him.

As Kou’s words penetrate, Kirishima tries to sit up so that he can catch a glimpse of his arm.

“Just a second, I’ve got to take the picture to send to Yabu-sensei.” As soon as the camera clicks, Kou helps Kirishima sit up. “Look, it’s only at six centimeters now. It started at ten.”

“It did all that in half an hour?” Kirishima asks, astonished.

Kou chuckles. “Try three hours. You were totally out of it. Do you finally feel rested?”

“Yes,” Kirishima says. _I can’t believe I slept so soundly with someone else in my apartment. Even alone, I have trouble sleeping. Just what kind of magic does Kou-san have?_ “I feel well enough to go to work, actually.”

“Slow down there, buckaroo. You didn’t really eat much, and you still look kind of tired. How does the arm feel now?”

“A little less sore, I think. Or maybe I’m just used to it now.”

“Yabu-sensei is going to be here in another half hour. The okayu is ready. Can you eat some now? She said she’s probably going to give you some oral antibiotics to make sure you really kick this thing, and it’s better to take them on a full stomach.”

Kirishima shrugs. “Only a little, please,” he says. Kou looks faintly disappointed. “Since I’ve just been sleeping, I’m just not that hungry. I’m sure it’s tasty,” Kirishima adds.

Kou’s face brightens. As he heads to the kitchen to get the okayu, Kirishima thinks, _He’s like a puppy, always seeking approval and encouragement. I need to be careful with his feelings._

Kou brings in a steaming bowl of okayu with greens, leeks, and beans mixed into it. “I hope you like it. It’s an old family recipe. The vegetables are supposed to promote healing. And the leeks are supposed to fight infection.”

“Thank you. Itadakimasu,” Kirishima says, clasping his hands.

While he’s eating, Kou starts casually asking questions about Kirishima’s job: what it’s like to work in the nightlife industry, how often Kirishima gets to go to the various clubs, whether he likes clubbing…

“Well, most of our clubs aren’t the dancehall kind that you’re probably thinking of,” Kirishima explains. “Most cater to an older, more sedate crowd. I don’t really fit in at the other kind, anyway.”

“But Sion has some in its portfolio, right? Like Dracaena? Have you ever been there?”

“I go there once a month to inspect it,” Kirishima says. He tries not to shudder as he remembers his last encounter with the disturbingly obsequious, Asami-obsessed Sudou.

“But you don’t ever go there for fun?” Kou asks. He’s trying to hide it, but Kirishima can sense Kou is slightly disappointed.

“If I did, it would be no fun for the employees. They’d think I was there for a surprise inspection.”

“Oh, that’s true. I guess you can’t really let loose with coworkers and subordinates around.”

There’s a short, comfortable silence before Kou starts speaking again.

“What about Friday night? You were on the floor of one of the clubs then, right? Was it Club Sion? What’s that one like?”

“It was,” Kirishima says, suddenly uneasy. Kou has brought up Friday night so casually, Kirishima wonders whether he’s reading too much into it, but he knows he has to tread carefully or Kou could easily catch him in a lie about his wound.

“What’s it like?” Kou repeats, smiling. “Is it ‘older and more sedate’? Wealthier?”

“Yes, most of Club Sion’s patrons are well-established in their careers. It’s like a gentlemen’s lounge. Very sedate.”

“Does it serve food as well as drinks?”

“Of course. We have a full kitchen. Why all the questions?”

“I’m just trying to picture where you work. Do you ever provide entertainment? Maybe ‘more sedate’ entertainment?” A smile is quirking at Kou’s mouth.

Kirishima grins back. “Just what kind of ‘more sedate’ entertainment are you imagining?”

“I don’t know. What do ojisans like? Mahjongg? Shogi? Ikebana? Cooking demonstrations?”

Kirishima chuckles. “Well, we do have a few mahjongg and shogi sets, but only a handful of our patrons actually play regularly. But I’ve never seen ikebana or a cooking demonstration. Wouldn’t they be more appealing to obasans instead?”

Kou’s face suddenly clouds over. “I guess so,” he says. He smiles again, but it looks a little forced this time. “Do you ever have theme nights? Like with food and stuff?”

“What kind of theme?”

“I don’t know. I guess ramen night wouldn’t really suit a bunch of stuffed shirts, but maybe something like sushi night?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “No. It might be a good idea, though. Let me write that down.” He pulls his tablet out of his nightstand.

“Hey! You were hiding that from me when I confiscated your work stuff,” Kou chides.

“I forgot it was in there; that’s just where I always keep it. Besides, I didn’t work anymore, did I?”

“That’s true,” Kou says. He hesitates for a moment, his face clouded with doubt. “Kei-san? Can I ask you something?”

But before he can ask, there’s a knock at the door signaling Suoh and Yabu’s return.

 

Kirishima is restless during his exam despite Yabu’s excellent prognosis. _What does Kou-san want to talk about? Why did he look so serious?_

Suoh steps out of the room to take a phone call during the middle of the examination.

“You’re doing much better. It looks like we found an antibiotic that works,” Yabu pronounces. She hands him a prescription bottle. “Make sure you take them this time.”

“I will,” Kirishima promises. Suoh returns. He’s wearing his usual stoic face, but Kirishima can tell he’s worried about something from the tenseness around his mouth. “How is Asami-sama?” Kirishima asks him.

“He’s fine. Don’t get too full of yourself, Kei. We can survive a day or two without you.”

“I know you can,” Kirishima says.

“But it’s much more difficult to, right, Suoh-san?” Kou asks.

Suoh gives a half-smile. “Yes, of course. Kei is a hard worker. Hurry up and get well.”

“Don’t work too hard. Give that arm a rest while you still can,” Yabu admonishes. “It’s going to be sore for a while yet. Even though the antibiotics are clearing the infection, your body is going to take a while to repair the damage already done.”

Kou coughs discreetly. “Um, Kei-san? I’m going to go now. I have that meeting with my friend, remember? Goodbye. Get well soon. I can come over again tomorrow if you’d like.”

Kirishima stares at him, surprised. _Isn’t this rather sudden? Didn’t you want to talk to me?_ But he can’t find a way to voice the questions aloud. He swallows and says, “Thank you for all your help. I’m sorry I was such a stubborn, troublesome patient.”

“You weren’t. I put the leftover okayu in the fridge, so all you have to do is heat it up.” Kou bows and is gone before Kirishima can say anything else.

After Yabu and Suoh leave, all Kirishima can do is replay the conversation with Kou about Club Sion over and over in his head. _What did I_ _say that offended him?_ Then he remembers that Kou said he would be meeting his friend in the evening. _He’s avoiding me. I definitely did something wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be from Kou's perspective.


	9. Seeds of Doubt (Gray)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After hearing from Suoh that Kirishima's injury was caused by a blade instead of a punch bowl, Kou wonders exactly what Kirishima is hiding from him. While Kirishima is sleeping, what will Kou find in his apartment? And what will Kou do with the information once he finds out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They couldn't have smooth sailing forever. Lies eventually catch up with you. 
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> okayu: a rice porridge often eaten when feeling sick (you can add vegetables, beans, etc. to it)  
> tachi: seme/top  
> neko: uke/bottom  
> fugu: pufferfish, a Japanese delicacy  
> kaomoji: Japanese-style emoticons, such as (^_^)

“The problem is that we don’t know how clean that blade was.”

It takes a moment for Suoh’s words to sink in, but when they do, a shiver runs down Kou’s spine. _Kei-san was_ stabbed _? But Kei-san said it was an accident._

Suoh’s explanation doesn’t quite sound right. _Wouldn’t you notice whether your arm was cut with a knife or a punch bowl? But could you really get such a long wound from a broken bowl, anyway?_

Kou remembers something Akihito told him once: when people start telling an implausible lie, they often distract you with excessive details, or they’ll change the topic quickly. Suoh does both. Kou tries to shove it out of his mind. _I’m probably just being paranoid_.

 

While Kirishima is working, Kou starts making the okayu and cleaning the kitchen. Yesterday they left the dirty dishes in the sink after packing the bento, thinking they’d wash them when they got back from their picnic. Since they were running late, they didn’t have time, and Kirishima obviously couldn’t take care of them when he got home from work sick last night. There aren’t that many dishes, though, and Kou finishes washing everything and cleaning the kitchen before Kirishima finishes working.

 

When Kou is carrying Kirishima’s briefcase and phone out to the living room so that Kirishima can sleep undisturbed, Kirishima’s phone buzzes in his hand. Kou glances at the display, but Kirishima has locked the phone. _Did he think I’d snoop?_ Kou wonders, feeling a little hurt. He heads back to the bedroom to let Kirishima know about the incoming call, but Kirishima’s already asleep.

Kou sits on the couch and tries to read some more of the gay sex guide Kirishima lent him, but his mind keeps flashing back to the word “blade.” Somehow it sounds scarier than “knife.”

_“You know a lot of clubs in Shinjuku are run by the yakuza, right?”_

But Akihito said that his boyfriend is the president of Kirishima’s company. Akihito would have warned Kou if they really _were_ yakuza, wouldn’t he?

Kou shakes his head. _There’s no way Aki would date some yakuza. It’s_ Aki _, criminal photographer._

_“I met Asami through work.”_

_What if?_ When Kou made a joke about Asami bribing a politician, Akihito got flustered and claimed he couldn’t remember the exact circumstances. _Could those circumstances have been a criminal stakeout?_ Akihito claimed he and Asami had a “slow start,” but he said he wasn’t sure exactly what they are to each other – and that if Asami weren’t clingy, Akihito wouldn’t even be his friend. _Maybe Aki is caught up in something he can’t get out of. But why didn’t he ask for help?_ Kou rolls his eyes. Akihito _never_ asks for help.

And Akihito admitted that the manager of one of Asami’s clubs had his security team beat him up for pursuing a scoop there. When Kou asked why he didn’t mention it to Asami, Akihito acted a bit scared at the thought.

Still, Akihito would warn Kou and not let him get involved unknowingly with a yakuza! Right?

_“Just be careful. Take it slow. Get to know him.”_

_“I don’t want you to get hurt.”_

_“How well do you really know him?”_

Wasn’t that Akihito trying to warn him? _He could have been a lot more clear!_ But if Akihito is being forced by Asami, maybe he couldn’t be.

Kou closes his eyes and shakes his head. He decides there’s no use worrying about it on his own; he’ll just have to ask Akihito. But first, he needs to figure out what really happened to Kirishima’s arm. How much of what Suoh told him was the truth? It’s pretty clear that Kirishima’s wound was probably caused by a knife, but was it a sushi knife that fell off a tray? Or was it something else that would make both Kirishima and Suoh lie to Kou?

Kou pulls out his phone and starts typing a message.

_Hey, Aki! Can we meet a bit earlier tonight? I need some advice._

_Sure, no problem. As long as you don’t embarrass me again._

_(_ _◔__ _◔) I won’t. Sheesh._

_What time do you want to meet?_

_Will 5 work for you?_

_Sure. I suddenly have a stakeout tonight, so 5 is actually better._

_What time is your stakeout?_

_I’ll need to leave by 9. We should have plenty of time to eat dinner and play some games._

Kou hesitates. He doesn’t really want to wait until he sees Akihito to figure things out, and he’s not sure how he can definitively determine whether Suoh was lying about Kirishima’s injury.

_Remember how you told me that liars often give too many details or switch the topic? I just had someone do both._

_Then they were probably lying._

_The only thing is, I think originally they were telling the truth, but it made me catch someone else in a lie. It’s their cover story that I think was the lie._

_And you want to prove that the first person was lying?_

_Exactly. Is there a way I can do that without them figuring out I’m trying to trap them?_

_I could give you better suggestions if I knew the whole story._

Kou hesitates. Akihito is one of the people who might have lied to – or at least misled – Kou.

_It’s complicated, and I don’t have a ton of time right now._

_OK. Well, one way is to ask the first person questions about the details the second person gave, but in a way that seems unrelated to the cover story._

_They’re more likely to answer with the truth, so if there’s a contradiction, it can provide evidence that the cover story is false._

_It’s not proof, exactly, but the more contradictions there are, the more likely you’ll be able to guess the truth._

_Ok. Thanks. I’ll try it._

_Do you need photographic evidence? I could maybe do some undercover work for you if it’s serious._

_No, it’s fine. I’ll tell you the whole story tonight. Hopefully I’ll have all the answers by then._

 

Kou grabs a notepad from his bag. He makes a list of what he knows.

  1. Kei-san said he was cut by a punch bowl that fell off a tray.
  2. Suoh-san said they don’t know how clean “the blade” was.
  3. I stupidly said Kei-san said it was a punch bowl.
  4. Suoh-san said there were several things on the tray when it fell:
    1. bowl (didn’t break until it hit the ground)
    2. knife used for sushi demonstration
    3. Kei-san was trying to catch bowl, didn’t notice knife
  5. Probably true: Kei-san was cut by some sort of blade (Suoh-san seemed very sure about this, and he didn’t change his story even when I contradicted him)
  6. So why did Kei-san lie about a punch bowl? Could he really have thought that’s what cut him instead of the knife?
  7. If Suoh-san is telling the truth, what would Kei-san know about?
    1. tray (they both mentioned a tray, so that doesn’t help)
    2. knife (but Suoh-san claims Kei-san didn’t notice it because he was focused on the bowl)
    3. sushi demonstration **** If there was no sushi demonstration, then Suoh-san probably made up the story of the knife being on the tray with the bowl. That means there was probably no bowl, and it was just a knife, and Kei-san lied. If there was a sushi demonstration, maybe Suoh-san’s explanation is correct, even though it seems far-fetched.
  8. If Kei-san _was_ stabbed and lied about it, what does that mean?
    1. it could have been a random attack in the club, and he didn’t want me to worry
    2. he’s a yakuza – Aki did hint at that… but then that means Asami-san is one, too
    3. Would Aki admit it? What has he said about Asami-san?



Kou’s phone beeps, indicating it’s time to check Kirishima’s arm again. He tucks the list back into his bag. Kirishima doesn’t stir when Kou examines the arm and takes a picture. It looks like the red streak has receded slightly, and Kou breathes a sigh of relief.

After sending the picture to Yabu, Kou turns to leave Kirishima’s bedroom, but he accidentally bumps against the nightstand, and something falls off it. When Kou bends down to pick it up, he accidentally kicks it, and it rolls under the bed. Kou bends over to see what it is. It’s a prescription bottle.

Kou tries to reach it, but it’s too far under the bed, so he has to wriggle under the bed to get it. He shudders. The last time he crawled under a bed, a spider dropped down from the bottom of the bed and landed in his hair. He decides to crawl under on his back so that he can see any spiders before they fall.

He turns on his phone’s flashlight feature and checks the underside of the bed for spiders as he makes his way towards the bottle. The light seems to catch on something metal in the very center of the bed, and he makes his way over towards it, curious.

It’s some kind of hidden compartment. Kou can’t help tugging on the handle, but it won’t open. After a moment, he realizes there seems to be some kind of scanner above the handle. _It’s probably for a fingerprint or something._

The compartment is rather small, and you really have to be right under the bed to see it. Even if a thief were searching the place and moved the mattress and box spring, chances are he wouldn’t notice the compartment unless he were specifically looking for it. _Neither would the police._

A shiver runs down Kou’s spine. _I’ve seen too many action movies_ , he chides himself. Still, it seems a very odd place for a safe; it’s quite difficult to reach. _Isn’t the whole point of a safe supposed to be that it makes your valuables easily accessible to you but no one else?_ The lock is supposed to be what keeps it safe, not being hidden. And if you wanted to hide it, wouldn’t you hide it behind a painting or something? Or is that something they only do in the movies? Hiding it behind a painting always seemed like it was done more because the safe was ugly than to keep it secret, anyway.

Kou grabs the prescription bottle and wiggles back out from under the bed. He snaps a picture of the prescription bottle, focusing on the name and address of the prescribing doctor. He moves the picture to a different folder on his phone so that it’s not mixed in with the photos of Kirishima’s arm.

Kou puts the bottle back on the nightstand and scans its other contents, but the only things there are the alarm clock and Kirishima’s glasses. He starts to slide open the drawer, but Kirishima makes a grunting noise.

 _What am I doing?_ Kou chides himself. _When did I turn into Aki?_

He heads back to the living room and pulls out his list again. He picks up where he left off, wondering if Kirishima and Asami are yakuza – and what Akihito has shared about Asami.

    1. Would Aki admit it? What has he said about Asami-san?
      1. president of Sion – owns a lot of different businesses, clubs
      2. Kei-san is his secretary
      3. Dracaena is owned by Sion
        1. manager orders security to rough people (media) up
        2. but manager apologizes for their roughness
        3. Aki seemed scared to mention this to Asami-san
        4. why was Aki investigating Dracaena, anyway?!
      4. met through work (“a photoshoot” – “can’t remember” for what)
      5. they “belong to different worlds” – Kei-san makes sure Aki knows
      6. bisexual (Aki assumes)
      7. Asami-san is the tachi, Aki is the neko
      8. doesn’t know how long they’ve been together (“slow start”)
      9. met 1.5 years ago
      10. not sure what they are
      11. wouldn’t even be friends if Asami-san weren’t clingy
      12. couldn’t stand him at the beginning (“came on too strong”)
      13. thinks Asami-san is only in it for the chase, so won’t give in



Kou throws down the list in disgust. What is he doing, snooping into his best friend’s relationship like this? _But now that I’m thinking about it, it doesn’t sound right. I was too caught up in my excitement about Kei-san to really pay attention to what Aki was saying, but he doesn’t sound happy._ Kou skims the list again. Besides his company name, Akihito didn’t really tell him much about Asami – especially not anything good. Akihito’s always kept his troubles to himself; that’s what makes Kou worry about him so much. Like Hong Kong.

Kou sits up suddenly.

What did that long-haired Chinese guy say when he was talking to Akihito again? He was asking for data, saying it was impossible for Akihito to steal it. And then he said something about “satisfying someone in bed.” Kou had tried to tune out at that point because he didn’t want to know about it if Akihito did that sort of thing for a scoop. But Akihito _wouldn’t_ do that type of thing just for a scoop, would he? Anyway, Akihito knew Kou and Takato had been kidnapped, so if he _did_ sink that low, it was for Kou’s sake.

Kou doesn’t want to think about that, either.

But whose data was Akihito supposed to steal? Kou wasn’t listening carefully enough to catch the name, but Kou remembers that moment of panic when that long-haired guy said he didn’t need them anymore because _someone_ would come for sure now that he had Akihito.

_Could that someone have been Asami-san?_

Kou can’t remember. In one moment he thought he was going to be killed, and the very next he was released, but he was still terrified that Akihito had made some kind of stupid bargain to save Kou and Takato.

And then they were reunited with Akihito, but Akihito chased after some black car and then disappeared for months. When he finally returned, tanned and thinner, he told some wild tale about Hong Kong that sounded like he’d patched it together from several of their favorite action movies.

But when Akihito stayed with Kou, Kou saw the fresh scar on Akihito’s shoulder. Akihito tried to brush it off, but when Kou insisted on the truth, Akihito finally said it was from the shootout he had while escaping from Hong Kong.

_There’s no way Aki would be able to escape on his own. If he was really kidnapped – and he wouldn’t just disappear like that on his own, so he probably was – he must have had help escaping. Who else knew Aki was missing? And who convinced the police to ignore any missing person reports on Aki?_

Kou closes his eyes, trying to remember the events when Akihito got back. When they got to his apartment, all his stuff was gone, and there was a key on his door. _Asami-san’s key._

Kou had been checking up on Akihito’s apartment every other day, collecting his mail and making sure the landlady wasn’t doing anything with his stuff. The key showed up right when Akihito got back.

 _So did Asami-san help Akihito escape from Hong Kong? If so, was he the_ reason _Akihito got taken to Hong Kong in the first place?_

Kou shakes his head. He can’t ask Akihito about this. If Asami really _were_ yakuza, Akihito is probably already in way over his head. Asking him might get Akihito in trouble. The kind of trouble even Akihito would have trouble escaping from.

Kou's ruminations are interrupted by the timer going off again. He checks on Kirishima’s arm, resisting the urge to do any more snooping in his bedroom. He heads to the kitchen to check on the okayu. It’s ready, but it’ll keep until Kirishima wakes up.

Kou decides to make himself a cup of tea, thinking it might help calm his racing thoughts. As he searches through Kirishima’s cabinets to find the tea strainer, he notes once again how organized Kirishima’s space is. But it’s not just organized – it hardly looks lived in. Kou glances around again. There are no family photos anywhere, no notes taped to the refrigerator.

 _Kei-san_ is _really fastidious; maybe he just puts everything away._

But everybody has at least one messy space in their home, right? A junk drawer, a corner of the closet, a random box… Kou remembers how organized Kirishima’s closet was.

_He doesn’t have a home office, even though he works so much. Where does he keep his important papers?_

Kou opens the rest of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. There’s nothing there except what belongs in a kitchen.

_Well, that’s true for my place too, mostly, except for the takeout and delivery menus._

Kou moves on to the living room. He remembers that when he borrowed the notepad from Kirishima’s side table to doodle, Kirishima had looked momentarily upset that he’d gone looking through his things. Kou opens the side table drawer, but the only things in there are the pad of paper and a pen. He lifts them out, checking the drawer for a false bottom, but he’s not really sure what he’s looking for.

 _Is there even room to hide anything under this bottom?_ He uses the pen to measure the depth of the drawer on the inside and then again on the outside. The outside is about four centimeters longer than the inside. _Definitely enough space to hide something._

Kou kneels down to inspect the underside of the drawer. There’s about 3 centimeters between the bottom of the side and the actual bottom. _Oh. So there’s probably not a false bottom._

But his eye notices something towards the back of the drawer. He crouches lower to see what it is. There’s a small black patch of fabric attached to the bottom of the drawer. _What in the world is that?_ He takes a few photos on his phone, but he can’t figure it out. He moves the pictures to the folder that has the picture of Kirishima’s prescription bottle.

_“How well do you really know him?”_

Kou grabs his note pad and starts listing the things he knows about Kirishima.

  1. Name: Kirishima Kei
  2. Age: 35 years old
  3. picks up guys on the edge of Ni-chōme



Kou hesitates. _Kei-san says he never kissed anyone before me, and he’s been kind of awkward with everything… So was he_ really _trying to pick me up?_

Kou plays back the evening they first met in his mind. He saw the same black Mercedes pull up to the curb and let Akihito and Asami out. The driver bowed and watched them go in. Kou watched Asami grab Akihito’s butt while waiting for the elevator, and Akihito didn’t pull away.

Kou drove straight to the parking garage and walked to the bar.

And then Asami’s secretary showed up a few minutes later. After parking in the exact same parking garage.

_Boy, am I an idiot._

Kou buries his head in his hands. _What did the driver look like?_

He racks his brain, but he can’t remember. He barely paid attention to the driver. _And here I was judging Kei-san for being so rude to the person who delivered his dinner when he was on the phone with me, and I was doing the same thing to him. Maybe. Probably._

Kou crosses out the third item on his list and continues.

  1. attracted to men? attracted to me? thinks I’m brave?



Kou sighs. How much of their relationship has been Kirishima trying to figure out why Kou was following his precious Asami-sama, determining whether Kou was a threat? Was it all an act?

But surely Kirishima must have believed what Kou said about merely being jealous of Akihito’s relationship with another man. Especially given Kou’s sincere interest in Kirishima himself. _Would a straight-laced germophobe really go as far as kissing another man? Agreeing to date him? Dry-humping him?_

Kou blushes faintly, but the memory makes him smile. _Kei-san definitely reacted to me. Maybe he really does like me? If our situations were reversed, and I had fallen for him after initially following him for some other reason, I wouldn’t be able to admit it, either. I’d be too afraid I’d scare him away before we really had a chance to begin._

Kou picks up his pen again.

  1. job: secretary to Asami, president of Sion Corporation (or some kind of manager?)
    1. works 60-80 hours/week (too hard – wears himself out!)
    2. works very late at night, especially on weekends (doesn’t start until noon)
    3. entertains clients in Ni-chōme with Asami
    4. calls Asami “sama”
    5. Asami gave him a gay sex guide!
    6. Sion manages several clubs “among other things”
    7. lots of meetings, has subordinates _{This is way too vague!}_
    8. inspects clubs (Dracaena: once a month)
    9. has to visit locations and customers, drives boss around _{I’m an idiot}_
    10. “uniform” = black suit, white shirt
  2. kind and considerate, used to letting others choose
  3. likes to try new things (fugu, motorcycles, kaomoji)
  4. very polite, conscientious, a bit germophobic, likes his routines
  5. a good cook (and a good teacher)
  6. insecure, thinks others find him awkward or mood-killing
  7. really cute when he blushes
  8. warm
  9. a good kisser
  10. not sure if he’s a tachi or a neko, sounds like he’s open to both _{Get a hold of yourself, Kou! This is a fact-finding mission! Though this is an important fact to know…}_
  11. didn’t own jeans before yesterday
  12. rocks a pair of skinny jeans
  13. lies easily when necessary (or at least tells convincing half-truths… though Itoh-san didn’t buy it)
  14. never wore hand-me-downs – rich? (but what about scholarship?)
  15. scholarship to private high school
  16. was a boy scout
  17. likes nature (camping, hiking), hasn’t been in years
  18. cousin = Suoh _{That jerk didn’t even give me his first name.}_
  19. parents run a kimono shop with 2 older brothers and older sister
  20. bad eyesight, claims to be clumsy
  21. lives in a nice, tidy 1LDK in western Shibuya 15 minutes from work
    1. hidden bed safe
    2. weird fabric under living room side table
  22. has a car – what kind? (is it a black Mercedes?)
  23. makes Aki feel like he should be aware that he and Asami belong to “different worlds”
  24. works out a lot (or a little and is _very_ genetically gifted)
  25. got cut with a knife (or a punch bowl) Friday night
  26. has a wide scar on his left side



Kou freezes. _How did I not realize it sooner? That scar looks a lot like the one Aki has on his shoulder that he said he got from a shootout._ _Could it be from a bullet grazing Kei-san’s side? Or was it really from a tree branch as Kei-san said?_

Kou skims the list again. He doesn’t know a ton about Kirishima, but then again, he’s only known him a few days. And what he’s written doesn’t sound anything like a yakuza.

_I let my imagination run away with me._

Kou crumples the paper in disgust. So what if Kirishima has a safe? A lot of rich people do. Maybe it just came with his bed, and he liked the bed so much, he didn’t mind paying a bit extra for a feature he doesn’t even use. Maybe a sushi knife really fell off a tray. And that scar on his side probably _was_ from a tree branch; Kirishima was a very outdoorsy kid.

_I’ve watched way too many movies._

Kou heads to the kitchen to throw the paper away, but he hesitates. What if Kirishima sees it and reads Kou’s wild theories? Kou puts the paper back in his bag instead.

 

When Kirishima finally wakes up, Kou can’t help guiding the conversation towards sushi demonstrations, though. _If he tells me there was a sushi demonstration Friday, I’ll be able to stop these crazy thoughts and let it go._

But Kirishima _doesn’t_ say there was a sushi demonstration Friday night; instead, he thinks a sushi demonstration is such a great idea, he writes it down.

All the doubt comes flooding back into Kou. _Kei-san and Suoh-san both lied to me. Kei-san was cut with a knife, but in a circumstance neither wants to share with me._

But why? There’s only one way to find out.

Just as Kou is about to confront Kirishima, however, Suoh and Yabu return.

The first thing Kirishima does is ask about “Asami-sama.” Every time Kou hears Kirishima use that honorific for his boss, it grates on his nerves a little more.

_Even if I ask Kei-san, he probably won’t give me a straight answer. I should see what else he’s lied to me about first._

Kou hurriedly excuses himself. He starts to head home to research on his computer, but halfway there, he realizes that might be a bad idea. _What if they can trace who did searches on them?_

He heads to an internet café instead, ready to find out as much as he can about the real Kirishima Kei. And Asami. _I’ve got two hours until my meeting with Aki. Let's figure out who's been telling lies – and why._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure whether the next chapter will show Kirishima and Suoh or Kou and Akihito (or maybe I could split it and show both?). Let me know in the comments which you'd rather see first.
> 
> Sorry about the formatting on Kou's lists. I've spent an hour trying to fix it in html, but AO3 seems to be ignoring some of the html codes, so I finally gave up. I think everything is at least in the proper alignment.


	10. Dangerous 'Cause You're Honest  (Turquoise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kirishima works to figure out why Kou is so upset, Kou starts researching Kirishima online to find out what he's been hiding. Will Kirishima find a way to talk to Kou before he discovers everything? And what will Kou do about his suspicions about Asami's and Akihito's relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being from both Kirishima's and Kou's perspectives. Instead of doing a section from each, it made more sense to just share the thoughts of each as they came up. Hopefully it's not too confusing! (If it is, please tell me where it gets confusing, and I'll revise it to make it clearer.)
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> ikebana: Japanese art of flower arrangement  
> okayu: a rice porridge often eaten when feeling sick (you can add vegetables, beans, etc. to it)  
> moshi moshi: hello (used on the telephone)

As soon as Kirishima realizes that Kou lied about having to leave to meet his friend, Kirishima decides he’s lain in bed long enough.

_Did I say something that further upset him while Yabu-sensei and Kazumi were here?_

Kirishima tries to recall the conversation, but he can’t think of anything.

_So it was something I said about Sion? But what could it have been? Did he figure out that I followed him for work the night we met? But how could he have figured that out from me saying that Sion has board games? Or doesn’t have ikebana?_

Kirishima heads into the living room to find his phone so that he can text Kou (as soon as he figures out what he should say). There’s a text from Morita and a voice message from Suoh. He decides to read the text first.

_Kirishima-fuku-shacho-san, sorry to disturb you while you’re resting. Chef Mineta stopped by to express his condolences about your accident Friday night. He has offered to bring you a sushi platter when you’re better._

Kirishima freezes. _Chef Mineta? Who’s that? And why would he bring me sushi?_

Kou’s words come floating back to him. _“Do you ever have theme nights… like sushi night?”_

With a sinking feeling, Kirishima enters his PIN to listen to the voicemail. _Kazu-nii, what did you do now?_

“Kei, I suspect you’re sleeping. I hope you listen to this as soon as you wake up. I slipped and said something about the blade that cut you when talking to Motomi about your injury, and he was pretty shocked. He told me you said it was a punch bowl, so I said that the knife was on the same tray as the punch bowl – that it was one used for a sushi demonstration, so it was pretty sharp, and you just didn’t realize what actually cut you. I didn’t give any more details than that, so if he asks you about it, feel free to embellish however you’d like. Look, I hope you get this before you talk to Motomi. I’m going to have Morita send you a text with the same story, so if you are sleeping, Motomi might read it and believe the sushi knife story. I’m really sorry. Anyway, hope you feel better soon.”

Chills run down Kirishima’s spine, but he’s used to remaining calm while dealing with anything thrown at him, and the rational part of his mind calmly works on the problem while the emotional side silently freaks out.

_Okay, so Kou-san knows I was cut with a blade. And he knows that Kazumi made up a story about it. So I just need to admit that I was cut with a knife and lied about it. Why would I have lied? I didn’t want him to worry. When and where did it happen? Club Sion seems the safest bet. An argument between customers over a card game, maybe, and when I was trying to intercede… Yes, that will work._

_Why did Kazumi lie? He realized I was going to be caught in a lie and decided to cover for me._

Kirishima nods. The cover story is simple enough, and he’ll apologize sincerely for deceiving Kou. Now he just has to decide when to tell Kou.

_Is the friend he’s meeting Takaba?_

If it is, Kou might start grilling him. And if he does, well… there’s no telling what Takaba might say about Kirishima. _And Asami-sama._

Kirishima has always thought Asami is way too lax about security around Takaba, especially considering Takaba’s profession and known association with the police. Sion would practically own the publishing company of _Weekly Headlines_ already if its bribes weren’t kept off the books. Even still, and despite the fact that Takaba is currently living with Asami, Kirishima wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see an Asami Ryuichi exposé on the front page of _Weekly Headlines_ one day.

Kirishima shakes his head. _Never mind about Asami-sama. I need to talk to Kou-san before he talks to Takaba._ It takes him thirty minutes to compose the text, but eventually he decides it’s good enough.

 

Kou pays extra at the internet café for a personal seat so that he can have privacy. He decides to start with the list he made about Kirishima. _If his name’s not really Kirishima Kei, I’m screwed,_ he thinks. But Kirishima’s nameplate, his landlord, Akihito, and Suoh all seem to confirm that the name is correct, so Kou puts a check next to the first item, “Name: Kirishima Kei.”

However, when Kou searches for Kirishima’s name on the internet, he finds several other Kirishimas and many other Keis, but very few things about “Kirishima Kei” – and some of the things he finds about “Kirishima Kei” seem to be about someone else, such as the scientific journal article about Norovirus. Kou clicks on the article and reads the university affiliations of the authors, jotting down the Japanese university of “Kirishima Kei.”

He tries searching for the romaji version of Kirishima’s name, and he finds a perfunctory LinkedIn profile that lists the same university – and Sion as current employer. _Bingo._ But there’s very little additional information on the profile, and Kou can’t check anything else off besides Kirishima’s job title (“first assistant,” not secretary).

Kou skips over researching Sion for now; that will be its own search. Instead, he focuses on the few facts he knows about Kirishima’s childhood, wondering whether he can find his parents’ kimono shop. On the second page, Kou finds a kimono shop in Nihonbashi run by the Kirishima family. The website is fairly simple, just listing the store hours, address, and contact information, but there’s an “about” page that describes the family:

"Kirishima Katsutoshi is a fifth-generation kimono maker. He is passing along the tradition to his sons Kiyoshi and Kenta and his daughter Kumiko. Kirishima Kazuko, Katsutoshi’s wife, has been running the storefront for thirty years."

_It doesn’t mention Kei-san. Then again, he’s not actually a part of the business, so why would it? And what’s up with all the “K” names?_

At the bottom of the page is a family photograph showing the three previous generations of kimono dyers along with the extended family. Kou zooms in to read the caption and study the photograph. The picture was taken in 1982, and the baby in Kazuko’s arms is listed as “Kirishima Kei.”

Kou checks off Kirishima’s age as 35 and his family as kimono makers. Now that Kou knows where Kirishima grew up, he tries searching the archives of the local papers to see if there are any announcements or articles about Kirishima, but he can’t find anything.

Kou is searching for Nihonbashi boy scout information when he receives a text.

_Hello, Kou-san. Thank you again for taking such good care of me today. You seemed upset when you left. I hope it wasn’t because I was such an uncooperative patient._

Kou sighs. _I don’t want to worry Kei-san, but I feel like I need to figure this out on my own. But still, it’s nice to hear from him…_ He types a reply.

_No worries. You were a great patient once I was able to wrestle your work away. I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother imposing on you like that._

_Of course not. That okayu was very good. Thank you again._

_Glad you liked it._

_You said you wanted to talk, but then Yabu-sensei arrived and we didn’t get a chance. Do you want to talk on the phone?_

_I can’t. I’ve got to go meet my friend._

_OK._

Kou feels a little guilty about lying, but he’s just too confused. He’d rather confront Kirishima once he has more facts.

But his phone rings. He closes his eyes and answers it without looking at the caller ID. “Moshi moshi.”

“Sorry, Kou-san. I know you said you have to meet your friend, but I just wanted to hear your voice. You looked so upset when you left…”

“Sorry. I just have to go meet my friend earlier than originally planned because he has to work tonight.”

 _So it is Takaba_ _,_ Kirishima thinks. “I understand. I just wondered if perhaps you were upset with me for some reason.”

Kou sighs. “I don’t know. Can we talk about this tomorrow, please?”

“Of course. It’s just –” Kirishima takes a deep breath and plunges in. “Kazumi – my cousin – told me that he accidentally told you how my arm really got injured, but he made up a story to try to cover for the lie that I told.”

“You lied to me, Kei-san?” Kou is startled that Kirishima is so readily admitting to the truth. _But you don’t know if_ this _is really the truth, either,_ he reminds himself. _Maybe this is another cover story._

“Yes. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you the truth myself today, but… the longer I didn’t, the more afraid I was of how you’d react. I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

“How did your arm get injured?” Kou asks. He can’t accept the apology until he believes in its sincerity.

“Some of the patrons at the club got into an argument over a card game, and they’d both had a little too much to drink. One of them pulled out a knife, and when I stepped in to ask him to leave, he accidentally cut me.”

“Accidentally?” Kou asks. He’s heard that club fights can sometimes get out of control, but he thought Sion was a “more sedate” club.

“Yes, he tripped while he was struggling. He actually started crying when he realized what he’d done.”

“And this was at Club Sion?” Kou asks incredulously.

Kirishima chuckles. “Yes, as difficult as it may be to believe. This was a very rare occurrence, of course. It was seriously an accident, but I didn’t want to needlessly worry you.”

“It made me worry more when I realized you’d lied to me,” Kou says petulantly.

“Of course it would. I’m sorry. I should have told you the truth as soon as you arrived today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?” Kou challenges.

“I couldn’t really explain it very well in front of your colleague in the department store, could I?” Kirishima counters.

“But you made up the story about the punch bowl when we were alone in your apartment.”

“You looked so scared when you saw how big the wound was, and I was already running late for work. And I didn’t want to ruin the good feeling we had on our date.”

Kou doesn’t say anything. It’s exactly what he envisioned Kirishima’s reason for lying to him might be. _Why can’t I just let it go?_

Kirishima continues quickly, “Not that those are good reasons for not telling you the truth. There’s no excuse for that, and I regretted it as soon as I decided to fib. I really am sorry. And I’m sorry I took so long to own up to my mistake.”

“I don’t like being lied to,” Kou says quietly.

“Of course. No one does.” Kirishima hesitates. _Is he testing me again? Did he figure out how we met? If he did, it’s better for me to confess it before he asks me about it. If he didn’t, well… he seems too intelligent not to have figured it out._ “I want to make sure we’re starting off on the right foot, so there’s something else I want to tell you that I haven’t been completely honest about. It wasn’t a lie, exactly, but I didn’t correct erroneous assumptions you made.”

Kou takes a deep breath and holds it. _Is he going to tell me he doesn’t really like me, and this was all for his boss’s sake? But he said “starting off on the right foot,” so that means he wants to continue, right?_

Kirishima closes his eyes, steeling his nerves. _This will work. It has to._ “The night we met, I actually followed you to the bar. I told you I sometimes drive my boss around, right? I drove him home the evenings you followed him, and I wanted to figure out why you were doing that.”

“So all this time, you were just pretending to like me so you could make sure I wasn’t a threat to your boss?” Kou asks, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

“Of course not! You assumed I was trying to pick you up, and I was really surprised by that, remember? But I didn’t correct you because I still didn’t know your intentions. But I was already attracted to you, the way you were so earnest in your feelings. As soon as I realized you weren’t a threat, which happened really early on, I put all thought of business aside and just did what I wanted.  And I do want to date you, Kou-san. If you’re still willing to date me. I promise to be more honest from now on.” _As honest as I can be without putting Asami-sama or Sion in danger, of course._

Kou releases his breath. “Thanks, Kei-san. I actually had wondered about that once you said you drive your boss around occasionally. I was scared you were just playing me.”

Kirishima sighs softly. “Wow, I feel so much lighter now that everything is out in the open.”

“Have you ever been injured on the job before?” Kou asks.

“No,” Kirishima says. Then he remembers Hong Kong. _What if Takaba tells Kou-san about it?_

“That’s good. I’ve heard that some clubs are really dangerous.”

“Sion doesn’t run those kinds of clubs. We have very strict rules about conduct, and we have an excellent security team. The customer who injured me has been stripped of his membership.” _That’s two lies, a truth, and a half-truth (dying is certainly one way to cancel a membership contract). I’m not very good at this honesty thing, am I?_

“I have to confess something, too,” Kou suddenly says. _If I don’t, I’m going to feel really guilty about researching Kei-san._ “Before he knew who you were, when all he knew was that I met you in Ni-chōme, Aki warned me that a lot of clubs in Shinjuku are run by the yakuza. When I found out you lied about your injury, I let my imagination run wild. I’m actually at an internet café right now.”

“Are you looking me up online?” Kirishima guesses.

 _“_ Yes. Sorry.”

“I don’t blame you. It’s not a bad idea to do that for everyone you date, to make sure they are who they say they are. Did you find out anything surprising about me?”

“Yeah.” Kou grins, forgetting that Kirishima can’t see his face.

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

Kou chuckles. “You have a surprisingly low-profile internet presence for a young corporate hotshot. The only social media I could find you on was LinkedIn, and it looked like you just filled out the basic profile and never updated it again.”

Kirishima chuckles, too. “I don’t really have a lot of spare time, and I spend enough of my day on computers, phones, and tablets.”

“That makes sense. You were also an adorable baby.”

“What? Where did you see my baby picture?” _Was it from the birth announcement? But would that small paper really have digitalized its archives and made them publicly available?_

“On your family shop’s page.”

“My what?”

“You told me your family runs a kimono shop, remember? Since I couldn’t find much about you, I tried looking you up that way, thinking I could figure out where you grew up and narrow my search.”

“I’ve been trying to get my father to make a website for the shop for years,” Kirishima says, still surprised by Kou’s discovery. “I volunteered to do it entirely myself, but he said it wasn’t necessary, because people need to come and see their kimonos in person to really understand the quality.”

“Well, I think the shop still has the same philosophy, because it was mostly just an hours/location/contact information page. It only showed up on the second page of the search results, though.”

Kirishima sighs. “I bet one of my brothers made it secretly without telling my father. I’ll have to contact them and help them with the search optimization. My father is stubborn, but the business isn’t sustainable in its current model, and my siblings are the ones who will bear the brunt of it if the shop goes out of business.”

“I’ll send you a link as soon as we hang up,” Kou says.

“Thanks. What time do you have to meet your friend, by the way? I’m sorry I was so pushy when you were so adamant about not talking.”

“I’m glad you were pushy. I feel much better,” Kou confesses. He glances at the clock on the computer. “We’re not meeting until five, actually, but I’ve got to leave the café in twenty minutes.”

“Shall I let you go so you can research me some more?” Kirishima teases. _If I make him feel bad enough about this, he’ll be less likely to do it again – and less likely to ask Takaba too many questions, too._

Kou laughs. “No. I’m sorry!”

Kirishima chuckles, too. “It’s okay. It’s totally understandable why you did that. I actually knew a little about you before we met, as well.”

“You did?”

“Yes, the company conducts a background search on people close to anyone Asami-sama dates.”

“Oh.” Kou gets quiet again.

“I’m sorry. It really didn’t have a lot of information in it, just that you were Takaba-kun’s childhood friend and a graphic designer.”

“It’s fine.” _Again with Asami-sama. Does Kei-san’s entire world revolve around Asami-sama?_ Kou can’t ask that aloud, though; he knows it’s childish. _Asami-san is his boss,_ Kou reminds himself. He decides to change the subject. “Did you really publish a paper on Norovirus?”

Kirishima laughs. “Wow, you found that? I helped out in a laboratory one semester in college, and they added my name to the paper because one of the figures was based on one of my experiments.”

“Were you a science major?”

“No. I just needed the extra money, and my uncle worked at the university. I met the professor through him, and it paid better than the other part-time jobs I could find.”

“Oh. You really are very smart, aren’t you?”

Kirishima laughs. “It was just a job. I didn’t actually help write the paper at all. Speaking of jobs…” He hesitates.

“Yes?” Kou asks.

“Would you mind not telling Takaba-kun about my injury, please? Given the nature of his job… We didn’t report it to the police because it was an accident, but we wouldn’t want it to get into the paper.”

“I’m not sure,” Kou says slowly. “I don’t like to lie.”

“I’m not asking you to lie, of course. Just don’t tell him about it,” Kirishima reassures him.

“I’m not very good at keeping secrets, either. I forget what I can talk about with whom, and I don’t like feeling like I need to hide things.” Kou gives a self-deprecating laugh. “I guess it’s because I’ve been so busy keeping my own secret about my sexuality for so long, I don’t have room for any others.”

“I understand. I didn’t mean for you to not tell him _anything_ , of course; I just meant not to tell him about the cause of the injury. It would be bad for the club.”

“Oh. I could see that. So it’s okay for me to say that you were sick today, but I don’t need to say why? I can do that, as long as he doesn’t ask me too many questions. I’m a terrible liar, and he always knows when I’m lying.”

“Again, I’m not asking you to lie. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have brought this up at all,” Kirishima says smoothly. _He’s much more honest than I thought._ “It’s complicated, dating someone who’s good friends with my boss’s…”  Kirishima trails off; he doesn’t know any word that could accurately summarize Asami’s and Takaba’s relationship.

“I guess it is,” Kou agrees. “I don’t want to do anything that might get you in trouble at work, but I’m not really sure what might do that.”

“Thanks. I guess we should just try to avoid talking about Takaba-kun or Asami-sama from now on.”

“Why do you call Aki ‘kun’ and me ‘san’?” Kou bursts out. He really wants to ask about “Asami-sama,” but he can’t bring himself to.

 _Kou-san, too? Asami-sama asked the same thing. I probably shouldn’t insult Kou-san’s friend._ “I guess it’s because Asami-sama brings out the stubborn, childish side of Takaba-kun, so he seems younger than his age. But when I met you, you showed a real maturity in the way you faced your own feelings headlong. And you’ve introduced me to several new things, so you somehow feel older than your age. Besides, wouldn’t it be weird if I called you ‘kun’ when we’re dating?”

“I guess so,” Kou agrees. _He really doesn’t like Aki much, does he? I guess Aki_ can _be a little hard to take at times, but he’s a good guy. But why did Kei-san say Asami-sama brings out Aki’s stubborn side? Was he just trying to be polite and not insult my friend directly? Or is it because their relationship is really that bad?_ “Kei-san, what do you –” Kou stops abruptly.

“Yes?” Kirishima prods after a short silence.

“Never mind,” Kou says.

“No, please tell me whatever’s on your mind,” Kirishima encourages him.

“I was about to ask you something about Aki and Asami-san’s relationship, but we just agreed not to talk about them. We’re not very good at keeping to that bargain, are we?”

Kirishima chuckles. “I guess not. Well, I’ll just tell you one good thing about Asami-sama then.”

“What?” Kou asks, trying to keep the poutiness he feels welling up again out of his voice.

“Even though I’m doing much better, he insisted that I take tomorrow off, too. He told Kazumi to take away my computer, tablet, and phone unless I promise not to work.”

“Good,” Kou says, his mood instantly lightening.

“So do you want to go on another date?”

“You’re supposed to be using this time off to rest!” Kou says. “As much as I’d love to do something, I don’t want to make you worse.”

“I wasn’t suggesting another hike,” Kirishima says. “But maybe… a movie?”

“Is there something you want to see?” Kou asks.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen a movie since college.”

“Seriously?” Kou gasps. “Well, what did you like to see in college?”

“I don’t know. Whatever my friends wanted to see.”

“Kei-san! Do you remember any in particular that you really enjoyed?”

“Not really. They always took me to the ones with lots of explosions and shootouts, but I could never follow the story. There always seemed to be big holes in the plot, or an extreme lack of common sense.”

“Oh.” _But they’re not supposed to make sense. They’re just fun and exciting, rocketing you towards the end, twisting and turning in surprising ways like a rollercoaster._ Kou shakes his head. He and Kirishima are bound to have a few differences of opinion.

“Is that the kind of movie you like, Kou-san? I’m sorry for insulting it.”

“It’s fine. Different people like different things. I like action movies sometimes, but I also like other types, too. So you like artistic films then?”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one.”

“Well, let’s try watching one tomorrow. They can be pretty deep and really make you think. I’ll check some reviews and find a good one, and then I’ll text you with the show times.”

“You have to work tomorrow, right?” Kirishima asks. “I don’t want to disrupt your work schedule just because I suddenly have a day off.”

“It’s fine,” Kou says. “I’m a freelancer, remember? My hours are flexible. Actually, _where_ I work is flexible, too. Can I come over again tomorrow, help you with things when you need it, and just work while you’re resting?”

“I don’t want to bother you,” Kirishima says hesitantly. “I think you’re too nice, and I feel like I’m taking advantage.”

“You’re not,” Kou insists. “I want to see you while I can. I’ll make sure I’m not bothering you, and if I am, you can just tell me and I’ll go home.”

“Okay,” Kirishima says. “Thank you.”

“Alright, I’d really better go now before I run over my time on this computer. Get better soon.”

 _“_ Thank you. See you tomorrow.” Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief as he hangs up. _That was close. If he’d talked to Takaba before I talked to him…_ Kirishima shudders.

Kou glances at the clock. He has fifteen minutes left on the computer. He opens the search engine to look up movies, but his fingers end up typing “Asami Ryuichi.”

He hesitates before hitting “enter” to complete the search. _How would you feel if Aki did this for Kei-san?_ But then he remembers that Akihito offered to do just that. _Besides, I’m worried about Aki. It doesn’t feel right._

The search engine shows a few things mentioning Asami’s role as president of Sion Corporation. There are also a few mentions in charity newsletters listing him as a donor. But as Kou goes through more and more pages, he’s startled by the lack of information. He can’t find mention of Asami’s age, birthday, family, hobbies – absolutely no personal information, even when he adds to the search terms. Asami has absolutely no presence on social media. When Kou does an image search, not a single picture of Asami shows up, just the same few pictures of some of Sion’s clubs, obviously stock footage.

Kou switches his focus to Sion. _Aki said they met through his job, but when I teased him, he said he couldn’t remember what the photoshoot was for._ Sion doesn’t seem to sell any products; they seem to only own a handful of clubs. _Wouldn’t it be easy to remember that you were taking pictures of a club?_ An image search for Sion shows the same few pictures of some of the clubs that the search on Asami revealed.

Kou tries searching for the club names one by one. Only Dracaena has photos that include people, but there aren’t many. He starts looking at the dates of the photographs. Only a few of Dracaena were taken within the past year and a half, and the photographer listed isn’t Akihito.

_Maybe the job was for photographs used internally within the company. Or maybe it’s not finished yet._

Kou snorts. There’s no way there’d be a year and a half lead time on a photoshoot.

His time is up, so he gathers his stuff and heads home to get ready for his meeting with Akihito. _I believe Kei-san about his accident, but Asami-san still seems really fishy. Maybe Kei-san doesn’t know anything. Or maybe Asami-san is just really private, even more than Kei-san. But Aki definitely doesn’t seem happy, and the more I hear, the more something seems wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from U2's "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?" Apparently turquoise can mean both clear communication and deception. I thought it was especially appropriate for this chapter.
> 
> The next chapter will be from Kou's perspective, most likely. With Akihito, of course!
> 
> Assuming I post it... For the second time in a row, I've had serious issues copying and pasting using the "rich text" method. In this chapter, I have a lot of italics, and they were all screwed up. I want to spend my time writing, not re-formatting it to get it to publish here properly. If I can't get AO3 to do that well, I'm going to have to stop sharing my writing here. I tried copying and pasting shorter sections; I tried starting fresh in a new tab. It's copying from the exact same Word document as the earlier chapters, so there's no reason for it not to be working. (I also wanted to indent the text from Kirishima's family website on both sides, but I couldn't figure out how to do that, so I put it in quotes instead.)
> 
> That being said, I probably didn't fix the italics mess properly. If you see something that looks like a thought that isn't italicized (or something that's not a thought or a text message that is italicized), please let me know. Thanks!
> 
> Finally, totally unrelated to this chapter, but is there a new chapter for the Finder manga out? Or do we have to wait two more months?


	11. Enter My World (Blue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kou confronts Akihito about his relationship with Asami. But how much will Akihito be willing to share with Kou? And what will happen when Kou lets slip the details of Kirishima's injury?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This conversation did not go as I was expecting. I kept saying, "Hey, wait, you're supposed to talk about X, Y, and Z now," but the boys had their own ideas about how the conversation should flow. I let them run with it.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

“Kou, you in there?” Akihito raises his voice and bangs on the door.

“Hold on!” Kou’s voice is muffled. A moment later, he opens the door with one hand while the other finishes fastening his belt. “You’re disturbing the neighbors, sheesh!”

“I’ve been knocking for five minutes.” Akihito follows Kou into the small apartment, kicking his shoes off in the genkan.

“It was not five minutes,” Kou argues. “Anyway, I was in the john. You saw my bike; you knew I was home.”

“You could have gone out on foot,” Akihito points out.

“You could have texted me.”

“You brought your phone into the john with you?” Akihito wrinkles his nose.

“No,” Kou admits. “Whatever. Just be more patient next time.”

“Sorry. Hey, did you figure out if that person was lying to you?”

“They were. I caught them with the details the other person gave, just like you said. But before I could figure out how to confront them about it, they actually admitted to it and apologized.”

“I see,” Akihito says. He looks like he’s deciding whether to say something, but what comes out of his mouth next is, “I brought some snacks and a little beer. I can’t drink much because I need to be sober for my stakeout.”

“What?” Kou asks.

“What do you mean, what? I told you about the stakeout when we changed the time.” Akihito stops rifling through his bag and looks at Kou.

“Do you think they were insincere in their apology?”

“How would I know? I have no idea what the situation even is,” Akihito reminds Kou.

“But you made a face.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did. Like you thought something but didn’t want to say it.”

Akihito sighs. “Look, I don’t even know what this is about. Is it work-related?” Kou shakes his head. “Personal?” Kou shrugs and looks away nonchalantly. “Was it the person you’re dating?” Akihito eyes Kou intently.

Kou blushes and looks away.

Akihito sighs again. “I see. Kirishima-san?”

Kou nods.

“Then I probably really shouldn’t say anything.”

“No, tell me. Do you know something about Kei-san?”

Akihito smirks at the name Kou uses but doesn’t comment on it. “No. I don’t even really know him; I pretty much only see him in a business capacity.”

“During your photoshoots for Sion?” Kou asks, feigning nonchalance.

 “No. I don’t have a business _relationship_ with him, but he has one with Asami, and so I only see him when he’s working.”

“Kei-san said he sometimes drives Asami-san around. He said he drove the two of you home the night I followed you.”

“Yeah, that’s usually when I see him. Is that what he lied about?”

“No. But after he confessed to the lie, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t hiding anything from me, so he told me he followed me to make sure I wasn’t a threat to Asami-san, but he fell for me instead.”

Akihito looks unsurprised.

“Did you figure that out already?” Kou asks. “I mean, I guess you would have, since you knew he was the one who drove you home that night. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We weren’t sure it was the same guy, remember? But I did tell Asami to warn his goon that if he hurt you, I’d kick his ass. Asami said Kirishima really seemed to like you, so I decided to leave things alone instead of stirring up trouble.”

“His goon? That’s a weird nickname for a secretary. Or a first assistant,” Kou clarifies, remembering what he learned about Kirishima’s job title.

Akihito looks away. “Kirishima is also trained as a bodyguard, I think. He’s always with Asami, after all. Anyway, I told you Asami was really pushy, right? Sometimes he would send Kirishima to pick me up when he wanted to see me. And Kirishima would make sure I came, even if I didn’t want to go.”

“He would force you?” Kou gapes. _That doesn’t sound like Kei-san at all._

_“How well do you really know him?”_

“Force is a bit strong of a word,” Akihito says, but the way he looks away, Kou isn’t sure he can believe him.

“Aki? Is Asami-san forcing you even now?” Kou asks quietly.

“What? No! Of course not.” Akihito bites his lip.

“It’s okay. You can tell me anything. If you’re in trouble, we can figure out how to solve it together.”

“I’m not in trouble,” Akihito says. “It’s just… complicated.”

“I’m not that simple-minded. I might understand if you’ll just tell me.” Kou is growing frustrated.

Akihito closes his eyes. Kou waits as long as it takes – which turns out to be several minutes. Finally, Akihito sighs and opens his eyes. “I can’t,” he says, his voice breaking.

“Look, Yoshida’s dad is a cop, remember? We can –”

“I don’t need to talk to the police!” Akihito bursts out. “I told you, it’s not like that.”

“Okay…” Kou says. “Look, I don’t want to badger you to talk if you really don’t want to, but I’m really worried about you. And the less you say, the more worried I get.”

Akihito sighs. He thinks for a minute and says, “You remember that time we found those P.E. scooters and decided to pull each other on them behind our bikes? We knew it was stupid and it hurt – and we knew someone was bound to get _really_ hurt in the end – but we couldn’t stop because it was so fun.”

“So you’re saying your relationship with Asami-san is like that?”

Akihito shrugs.

Kou closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes. “But you care about him?”

Akihito shrugs again, but his face turns red and he looks away in embarrassment.

“And he cares about you?” Kou presses.

Akihito shrugs a third time. That troubled look crosses his face again, but he says, “I think so. At least until he gets bored.”

“You said that before, but you also said you’ve been together a year and a half already. Wouldn’t he have gotten bored by now if he were really that flighty?”

Akihito shakes his head. “I don’t know. We don’t really have anything in common. I’m just trying not to give him a reason to get bored.”

“You guys must have _something_ in common. What do you do on your dates?” Kou asks.

“We don’t really go on dates,” Akihito says. “How could we? We’re both guys.”

“Kei-san and I went on a hike yesterday, and we’re going to see a movie tomorrow,” Kou says.

Akihito snickers. “Two guys at a romantic comedy? You’re certainly going to turn heads.”

Kou frowns. “I hadn’t thought of that. But we’re going to see an art film, so it should be okay.” His frown deepens. “At least I hope so. Kei-san is really shy, and he got really embarrassed when people were looking at us funny yesterday in the store.”

Akihito softens. “I’m sorry, Kou. I was just teasing. I’m sure it will be fine. Besides, who cares what people think?”

“You, apparently, since you won’t even go on a date,” Kou teases. “Surely you must spend time together inside your fancy digs, though, right?”

“Sometimes. Asami and I are both busy with our jobs, and our schedules don’t always match, so sometimes we go days without seeing each other.”

Kou rolls his eyes. “Now you’re being deliberately obtuse. When you _do_ see each other, what do you do?”

Akihito blushes. “Things.”

Kou smirks at him. “What kind of ‘things’?”

Akihito’s blush deepens, and he tries to turn his face away. But Kou leans across him, trying to look at him.

“What are you hiding, Aki? Have you been a naughty boy?”

Akihito buries his face in his elbow on the couch armrest. “Shut _up_ , Kou,” he mutters.

Kou tickles his stomach.

“Stop it!” Akihito cries.

Soon they’re wrestling the way they used to when they were kids, but Kou suddenly freezes when Akihito’s shirt rides up to reveal crisscrossing marks across his torso.

He blushes and stands up, turning his face away.

“What?” Akihito asks.

“Nothing.”

“What is it?!” Akihito huffs.

“Nothing. Pull your shirt down,” Kou says. He rifles through the bag Akihito brought and pulls out a can of beer and pops it open.

Akihito looks down and notices the marks. He quickly pulls his shirt down. “That’s –”  He can’t think of an excuse.

Kou snickers. “So that’s how you keep Asami-san from getting bored, huh?”

“Shut up, Kou,” Akihito mutters. He sits down on the couch again and snatches the bag away from Kou, pulling out a bag of potato chips and popping it open. A few chips fly out of the top and land in his lap. Akihito picks them up one by one and eats them.

“Seriously though,” Kou says after a few minutes of silence, “what else do you and Asami-san do? Do you ever watch movies together? Eat? What do you talk about?”

Akihito eyes him suspiciously. “We’ve watched a few movies together, but he doesn’t really seem into them. And I mostly cook, but sometimes Asami brings sushi home.” He remembers what happened the last time Asami brought sushi home and quickly changes the subject. “We watched the fireworks festival once.” Remembering _that_ incident makes him blush harder, so he changes the subject again. “We don’t really talk that much, though.” He shrugs. “I think we both like our quiet at home.”

Kou looks like he’s about to say something, but Akihito decides he’s had enough of Kou’s twenty questions. “What do you and Kirishima-san have in common?”

“Lots of things,” Kou says. “We’re obviously still getting to know each other, but we both like trying new things, riding motorcycles, eating fugu, hiking…” He blushes as he remembers a few other things Kirishima and he have discovered they both find enjoyable. “And Kei-san is teaching me how to cook.”

Akihito stares at him. “You? Cooking? Does Kirishima-san have a fire extinguisher?”

Kou elbows him. “Shut up. He’s a very patient teacher. Anyway, I could always cook a _little_.”

“Vermont Curry doesn’t count,” Akihito teases. “Especially when you use microwave rice.”

“I know how to cook rice now,” Kou says. “Anyway, I’m sure Kei-san and I will discover even more things we have in common. He’s very smart, and he’s easy to talk to.”

“Hmm,” Akihito says.

“He is! He’s just really conscientious, so he’s not going to say much to you since he doesn’t want to inadvertently interfere in his boss’s relationship,” Kou explains.

“Hm.” Akihito’s tone is disbelieving.

Kou decides to drop it. “Anyway, what did you mean before by saying you didn’t think Kei-san’s apology was sincere?”

“I never said that.”

Kou rolls his eyes. “Not with your _mouth_ maybe, but your face sure did.” He raises his eyebrows at Akihito expectantly.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there, remember? But you said he only ’fessed up once you caught him in the lie, right? If he had time to realize he’d been caught, that might mean his apology was insincere.”

“He seemed to really mean it,” Kou says doubtfully.

“I said maybe. How much time elapsed?”

“Not that long, but he had time to talk to his cousin who made up the cover story in the meantime,” Kou admits.

“See? So he probably knew he’d been caught. People are more willing to forgive and forget if you confess instead of admitting it after they come forward about it. I do it all the time with the cops if I think they’re unhappy with me for skirting certain laws to get the scoop. It takes the wind right out of their sails every time.”

“Well, Kei-san said once Suoh-san told him he’d made up the cover story, Kei-san wanted to confess right away because he’d already been trying to find a way to tell me all day but couldn’t work up the courage earlier. I actually didn’t want to talk to him, but he really pushed the issue.”

“Wait, Suoh-san? He’s Kirishima-san’s…” Akihito stares at him, dumbfounded.

“Cousin,” Kou confirms.

“Seriously?” Akihito’s mouth drops open. It takes him several moments to realize it and close it again. He swallows. “Wow. That’s pretty shocking. Those guys are so different.”

Kou raises his eyebrows and shrugs. “They don’t look that much alike, but they definitely act like family.”

Akihito shakes his head. “If you say so. Anyway, maybe Kirishima-san really _was_ sorry. Like I said, I wasn’t there. Just… be careful, okay?”

“You really don’t like him, do you?” Kou asks.

Akihito shrugs. “He’s not my favorite person, no. I find him really hard to get along with, but I think that’s mostly because I can tell he really doesn’t like me.”

“Sorry,” Kou says, looking a bit troubled.

Akihito waves him off. “It’s fine. Look, I’m glad you found someone.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Kou’s face suddenly brightens.

Akihito groans. “Your ideas are never good.”

“That’s not true! Anyway, why don’t we go on a double date? That way you and Asami-san can find more things you have in common, and maybe you and Kei-san…” Kou trails off at the withering look Akihito is giving him.

“See? Bad idea,” Akihito says.

“Why?! You and Kei-san just need to get to know each other better, and –”

“Would _you_ want to go on a double date with your boss? Or your secretary?”

Kou’s face falls. “I guess not. But I think Asami-san and Kei-san have a close relationship. Asami-san gave Kei-san a –” Kou stops abruptly, his face turning red.

“What?” Akihito giggles.

“Nothing,” Kou says. He takes a big gulp of his beer.

“No, you have to tell me!” Akihito cries.

“A guide to…” Kou mutters.

“A guide to what?”

“Use your imagination!” Kou snaps.

Akihito stares at him for a few seconds. “A guide to… gay dating?”

Kou looks away.

“No, that wouldn’t get you so embarrassed. A guide to… gay sex?” Akihito guesses.

Kou’s blush deepens to a purple.

“Seriously?” Akihito guffaws.

“Shut up,” Kou says. “Neither of us have any experience, okay? But it’s weird, right? To get that kind of thing from your boss?”

“Yeah,” Akihito says. “But Asami’s kind of forward like that. He doesn’t get embarrassed by _anything_. Until you said it was a guide, I was actually thinking maybe it was something a bit more kinky.”

“Like what?” Kou looks at Akihito curiously.

“Nothing,” Akihito mutters, his own face turning scarlet.

Kou decides to let the subject drop. “Do you think Kei-san is in love with Asami-san?” he asks. He didn’t mean to voice that doubt aloud, but he’s not too surprised that it slipped out considering it’s been on his mind all day.

Akihito gapes at him. “What? What gave you that idea?”

Kou shrugs. “I don’t know. He calls him ‘sama’ and he talks about him a lot. It seems like Asami-san is always on Kei-san’s mind.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s in _love_ with him, though,” Akihito points out. “You said it yourself: he’s very conscientious, right? And they spend a lot of time together at work. I get the feeling Kirishima-san can’t turn off ‘work mode’ easily.”

“That’s true…” Kou says. “But still, today he was home sick from work, and as soon as Suoh-san showed up, Kei-san was all ‘How is Asami-sama?’”

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t know, Kou. I mostly only see him in the car or whatever. I just assumed he was a suck-up, but _maybe_ there’s something there? Once Asami was home with a cold, and I got a call from Kirishima-san asking me to bring supplies. When I got there, Kirishima had already taken care of everything, even Asami’s laundry. He had cooked him food, too, so there really was no point to me even going over there. I assumed Asami had ordered Kirishima to call me, but Asami seemed surprised to see me.” Akihito shrugs again. “To me, it just seemed like Kirishima-san was being overly anal about what he thought were his duties, but you’d have to ask him.”

“I can’t do that!” Kou exclaims.

“Well then, there’s no use worrying about it. Asami said Kirishima-san seems to have fallen pretty hard for you, and _you_ said he seems pretty interested in you too, right? So stop worrying about problems that don’t even exist. I’m sure you guys will find plenty of things to argue over soon enough.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kou huffs.

Akihito smiles. “Everybody has problems in their relationship eventually. I’m just saying there’s no point in making up any. Didn’t you already have one today when he lied to you?”

“That’s true,” Kou admits. He hesitates for a moment before finally blurting out what’s been nagging at the back of his mind since he discovered Kirishima lied about his injury. “You said that a lot of clubs in Shinjuku are owned by the yakuza, and Asami-san owns a club…” Kou pauses when Akihito gives him a withering look but decides to press on. “Is Asami-san yakuza?”

“Of course not,” Akihito says scathingly. He rolls his eyes. “Does Kirishima-san seem like some kind of yakuza to you?”

“No…” Kou says. “But he got injured by a knife at work Friday night, and that’s what he lied to me about.” _Shoot! Kei-san asked me not to say! Arrggghh! I’m so bad at keeping secrets!_

Akihito’s eyebrows shoot up. “He got injured? Was Asami there?”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t _you_ know?”

“I haven’t seen Asami since Wednesday,” Akihito says. A worried look crosses his face.

Kou hesitates. _I shouldn’t give any details, but I don’t want Aki to worry needlessly. He won’t put this in the paper if I ask him not to. It would cause trouble for Asami-san’s club, after all._ “It was an accident,” Kou reassures him. “Well, some clients at the club started arguing, and one pulled out a knife. Kei-san stepped in to ask him to leave, and the client tripped. Kei-san got wounded on his arm. That’s what he lied to me about, because he didn’t want me to worry when such things happen so rarely at Sion.”

Akihito’s worry doesn’t seem to be appeased. “And he asked Suoh how Asami was as soon as he saw him today?”

“Not the first time,” Kou clarifies. “When Suoh-san came back from a phone call, _that’s_ when Kei-san asked him, because Suoh-san looked worried about something. But Kei-san had already talked to Asami-san in the morning, and from his end, everything sounded fine. Normal. Kei-san also worked yesterday evening after our date, so I really don’t think he was _worried_ about Asami-san so much as being overly conscientious. Or in love.” Kou makes a face at his earlier worries. _Aki’s probably right that I’m being silly about that._

“Okay…” Akihito says. “Hey, I’ve got to use the bathroom, then let’s play some games, okay?”

“Sure,” Kou says. “Hey, don’t tell Asami-san I told you about Kei-san’s injury, okay? Kei-san asked me not to tell you; he was worried you’d put it in the paper. But you wouldn’t do something like that, right?”

Akihito rolls his eyes. “Of course not. I don’t have any good pictures, and it’s all hearsay. Who knows how Kirishima-san _really_ injured his arm?”

“I just told you!” Kou bursts out.

Akihito holds up his hand in a placating gesture. “I meant from a news perspective. Calm down, Kou. I can’t run a secondhand account of a story – not that the incident even sounds newsworthy. Not unless someone died, was hospitalized, or was arrested.”

“You sound like an ambulance-chaser,” Kou teases.

Akihito gives him a noogie as he heads to the bathroom. He takes a few minutes in there, and Kou occasionally can hear his voice.

_He must be talking to Asami-san. I’d better tell Kei-san that I slipped. I did warn him that I’m horrible at keeping secrets. But why is Aki so worried about Asami-san? What does he think happened, if he doesn’t believe Kei-san’s story? He did say Kei-san is also trained as a bodyguard… I guess when you’re in a business that overlaps with the yakuza’s, you can’t be too careful. I just wish Kei-san and Aki would tell me the truth about the dangers instead of trying to hide it from me._

Kou sighs and finishes his beer. He thought talking to Kirishima and Akihito would make him feel calmer, but if anything, he feels even more uneasy. _What kind of world am I entering?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is the second date! Now that Kirishima is feeling better, what will they get up to? Things are starting to heat up...
> 
> (Wow, this chapter posted fine, even though it was in the same Word document as the last one. Thank goodness; it's nice not to have to spend an hour+ reformatting things.)


	12. Alone Time (Magenta)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Left alone in his apartment with nothing to do, Kirishima discovers the bag Kou brought over, which contains the guide book Asami gave him along with a few surprising items. Just what will the secretary get up to alone? And what will happen when Suoh and the doctor suddenly stop by? How will Kirishima react when Suoh reveals a shocking truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the second date would be next, but Kirishima decided to take things in a different direction.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

Kirishima feels as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders when he hangs up the phone with Kou. He breathes a big sigh of relief.  It feels good to have everything out in the open, even the fact that their first meeting was orchestrated by Kirishima.

Well, _almost_ everything. But Kirishima is used to compartmentalizing his life, and keeping the full details of his job a secret is just as much a part of his routine as brushing his teeth at this point.

Kirishima heads into the kitchen. He’s suddenly hungry, and the okayu that Kou made for him sounds incredibly appetizing. He steels himself to face the mess of yesterday’s dirty dishes, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find the kitchen neat and tidy. As he pulls out a bowl and spoon, he realizes that Kou managed to figure out where everything belongs.

While the okayu is heating up on the stove, he sends a quick text to Kou.

_Thank you for cleaning my kitchen for me!_ _(*_ _＾v_ _＾*)_

He doesn’t get a response right away, but he figures that’s because Kou is already on his way home from the internet café. Kirishima snaps a picture of his steaming bowl of okayu and sends that to Kou, too.

_And thanks again for the okayu. It’s delicious! (*_ _＾ڡ_ _＾*)_

After he finishes eating and wipes down the counters (even though they don’t really need it), Kirishima heads into the living room to see if there’s anything that needs straightening there. If he doesn’t find _something_ to do soon, he knows he’s going to start working, and both Asami and Suoh will chide him if he does that.

Kirishima straightens the pillows on the couch. He sees the corner of a plastic shopping bag sticking out from under the back of the couch. He reaches down and pulls it out. When he sees the guidebook Asami gave him, he realizes it must be the bag of supplies Kou brought over. Kou must have shoved it under the couch so Suoh and Yabu wouldn’t notice what was inside it, and then forgotten it because he left in such a hurry.

Kirishima reaches in and pulls out the book. _I might as well read._ Once the book is removed, however, Kirishima finds a few more items in the bag. The Tokyo urban hiking magazine is thoughtful, but what’s underneath _that_ makes Kirishima blush: condoms, a bottle of lube, a douche, something called “toy cleaner” and – Kirishima gasps and drops the bag when he figures out what the oblong-shaped thing with a face on it is.

He blushes. _Just what did Kou-san think he was coming over here for?_

As he bends down to pick up the bag, a piece of paper slips out of the middle of the book.

_Probably Kou-san’s bookmark._

Kirishima picks up the slip of paper and notices that there’s small, neat writing on it.

_He has nice handwriting._

As he skims the paper, he realizes that Kou must have been taking notes as he was reading. On the back side of the bookmark is written “Shopping List.” Kirishima chuckles.

_Kou-san studied hard._

Sure enough, everything on the shopping list is in the bag. There’s a warm feeling in Kirishima’s chest that he’s beginning to associate with Kou. It feels nice to know that Kou is looking forward to exploring more things with Kirishima as much as Kirishima is.

Kirishima picks up the book and begins to read. _I’d better figure out what I’m doing, too._

 

Twenty minutes later, Kirishima’s reading is interrupted by the sound of an incoming text.

_You’re welcome. It was only fair because I helped make the mess, and you were teaching me to cook._ _（_ _#´_ _・｀_ _#_ _）_ _♡_

_You’re eating! Yay! Does that mean you’re feeling even better?_

Kirishima smiles as he starts typing a reply.

_Yes, I am, thanks to the good care you took of me._

_Hey, I think I left something at your house. It was a bag that had your book in it… plus a few supplies – they were for me, not you._

_Oh, I already found the bag._

_You did? Sorry! I hope you don’t think I was planning to use that stuff today._

Kirishima starts to type a response, but Kou is too fast.

_I mean, they *were* hopefully for us to use together, but later…_

_whenever you’re ready._

_I’m fully committed to taking it slow._

Kirishima chuckles. Kou can type ridiculously fast, so he decides to just wait until Kou is finished.

_I guess I just got too excited reading the book, and since I was practically already in Shibuya…_

_Anyway, if you’re offended, please feel free to throw them away._

_…_

Kirishima starts typing a reply.

_Kei-san? Are you angry?_

Kirishima deletes what he was writing.

_No, I’m not._

_You’re too fast._

_Sorry! I’ll wait for you to answer from now on._

_I found your shopping list in the book and figured it out already._

_So you’re not mad that I was presumptuous?_

_No, I knew you didn’t come here for *that.*_

_Does that mean you started reading the book?_

Kirishima blushes but decides to answer truthfully; it’s easier to be honest via text when Kou can’t see his face.

_Yes. I don’t have much to do right now._

_Oh, I also got us a magazine about more local trails._

_I saw that, too… but I guess your purchases got me curious._

_(*^_ _▽^*) I really enjoyed what I read of the book. I might have made it to Ni-Chōme sooner if I’d read it earlier._

_That’s good. I look forward to reading it._

_Oh, I’ve got to go. I think Aki’s here._

_Have fun._

_You, too! We can talk about the book tomorrow._

Kirishima gulps. He always assumed that Suoh and Asami were just unusually forward, but maybe they’re normal and Kirishima really is a prude. _But it would be better to talk about it before rushing into anything…_

Kirishima wonders if they can have the discussion in the dark. Or maybe with a bag over his head. _It’s better not to think about it too much beforehand._ Kirishima picks up the book again and continues to read.

 

It’s hard not to imagine himself and Kou in the various scenarios mentioned in the book. Somehow he keeps imagining himself in the bottom role. _Is it because of what happened when we woke up that first morning?_ But if he’s honest with himself, Kirishima knows that what he enjoyed even more than the physical sensation was letting go of control.

_Besides, Asami-sama’s partners always sound like they’re really enjoying themselves._ Kirishima blushes as he remembers the last time he drove Asami and Takaba. _But I’m older than Kou-san, so shouldn’t I take the lead?_ When Kirishima reads the chapter on topping and bottoming, he realizes it’s not necessarily about age, control, or dominance. Both partners are still very much men, and you don’t lose anything by bottoming.

_Kou-san said he’d like to try both, but I get the feeling he likes taking the lead. And I like not having to be the one in charge for once, so I wouldn’t mind letting him._

Kirishima’s reading is interrupted by a call from Kou. He smiles as he answers.

“Kei-san, how are you feeling now?”

“Much better, thank you. I finally feel rested.”

“How’s the book?”

Kirishima can tell Kou is grinning. He blushes. “It’s interesting,” he admits. “It’s given me a lot to think about.”

“I’d love to chat more about it now, but I actually have to warn you about something,” Kou changes the topic abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” Kirishima asks.

“I told you I’m really bad at secrets, right? I accidentally told Aki that you were injured by a knife. He got kind of freaked out – understandably so – I think he was worried about Asami-san since you work so closely with him. So I ended up giving Aki more of the details so he’d stop worrying. Now he’s in the bathroom, and I think he’s talking to Asami-san on the phone.”

Kirishima sighs.

“I’m sorry! Hopefully you won’t get in trouble at work for telling me, and I did ask Aki not to publish the incident in the paper. He said he wouldn’t, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“It’s okay, Kou-san. I’m sure it will be fine,” Kirishima says. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You’re not going to get in trouble, are you?” Kou asks worriedly.

“No,” Kirishima says. _Though Asami-sama’s not going to like having to deal with Takaba’s fussing._

Kou breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. I’m really sorry. Anyway, I’d better go before Aki gets back.”

After he hangs up, Kirishima debates calling Asami but decides against it. Based on what Kou said, it’s too late to warn Asami, and there’s no sense bothering him even more about it. He can apologize when he goes back to work Tuesday – or when Asami calls to chew him out, whichever comes first. In the meantime, Kirishima decides to go back to reading.

The introduction to anal intercourse chapter has a few surprises for Kirishima. Perhaps most surprising is the fact that only one in three gay men engaged in anal intercourse in their last sexual encounter, whereas three-quarters engaged in oral sex or mutual masturbation.

_I guess that last one is technically what Kou-san and I did, though it wasn’t what we planned to do._

Judging by the items Kou bought, it seems obvious that he’d like to try anal intercourse at least once, and Kirishima has to admit he’s curious, too. He continues reading the chapter, but he pauses when he reads the suggestion to try it on himself alone first.

He glances at the bag Kou bought and blushes.

_I can’t really use my right arm well right now; it would be silly to try._

But as he reads about the parts of his anatomy, his gaze keeps being drawn to the bag.

He shakes the items out onto the coffee table.

_I’m just looking at them._

 

Forty-five minutes later, Kirishima’s phone buzzes, and he feels the compulsion to check it despite how occupied he is. He reaches across the bed to the nightstand with one hand and reads the text.

_Kei, I’ll be bringing Yabu-sensei by for a final check-up today. Should be there in about fifteen minutes._

Kirishima gasps. He looks down and notices that he’s at more than half-mast.

_Sixty-seven times seventy-three is seventy squared minus three squared is four thousand nine hundred minus nine is four thousand eight hundred ninety-one._

_Come on, go down!_

_Ninety-six times ninety-six is ninety squared plus two times ninety times six plus six squared is eighty-one hundred plus two times five-forty plus thirty-six is eighty-one hundred plus ten-eighty  plus thirty-six is ninety-one eighty plus thirty-six is ninety-two sixteen._

_Please go down, please go down; you’re going to get caught!_

But instead of things settling down, they seem to be getting more excited. _It’s only been two minutes since Kazu-nii’s text. Maybe I should just finish? I’d still have time to clean up._

 

Five minutes before Suoh and Yabu are due to arrive, Kirishima rushes to the bathroom. He tosses the used tissue in the toilet and flushes, then washes the things that need washing. Once they’re dry, he stuffs everything back into the bag. _Where can I hide it?_ He looks around frantically.

_The drawers are too dangerous; what if Kazumi tries to get me a fresh t-shirt or something because I’m sweating?_

Kirishima decides anywhere in the bedroom is too dangerous. He heads to the kitchen but decides that’s too dangerous, too, in case Suoh or Yabu get hungry or thirsty. He’s looking around the living room frantically when there’s a knock at the door.

“Just a second!” he calls. He shoves the bag deep under the couch. He races back to the bedroom. _Does it smell?_ He gathers the sheets and pillowcases and runs them to the washing machine, closing the door but not taking the time to add soap or start the load.

Finally, he pulls on his underwear and the yukata Kou brought him, cinching the obi as there’s a louder, more impatient knock on the door.

“Coming!” he calls.

When he opens the door, Suoh grumbles, “Took you long enough. What were you doing?”

“Sorry, I was asleep and didn’t hear the message notification,” Kirishima fibs. “I only saw it a minute ago.”

Suoh eyes him suspiciously. “Why is your face flushed? Did Motomi come back?”

“No!” Kirishima says truthfully. “Maybe it’s from my fever breaking while I slept?”

“Or maybe your fever came back,” Yabu says. She makes Kirishima sit down on the couch while she assesses his wound. “You’re all sweaty,” she chides.

Kirishima shrugs. “Sorry. That’s why I’m only wearing this thin yukata.”

“You should keep warm,” the doctor admonishes. She sticks a thermometer in Kirishima’s mouth.

Suoh checks the kitchen and bedroom. Kirishima watches him curiously, wondering what he’s up to. Suoh bends down and looks under the bed.

_Thank goodness I didn’t hide the bag there._

“I thought you said you were sleeping,” Suoh says.

“I was,” Kirishima confirms, talking around the thermometer.

“But your bed is unmade,” Suoh points out.

Kirishima holds up a finger, buying time while he thinks of an excuse. Once Yabu removes the thermometer, he calmly says, “I _was_ sleeping, until I woke up about five minutes before your arrival. I was sweaty, so I changed clothes and decided to wash my sheets. I had just stripped the bed when I noticed your message, and then I tried to finish loading the washing machine before your arrival. Obviously I wasn’t quite done.”

“It took you a while,” Suoh says, smirking. He peers in Kirishima’s bathroom, and Kirishima finally figures out that he’s looking for Kou.

Kirishima lifts his right arm. “I was being careful not to use this arm too much.”

Suoh’s expression changes from teasing to sympathy. “Oh. Sorry. You should have waited for me to do that for you.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Kirishima reminds him. Kirishima is glad that his ability to lie smoothly without blushing has returned, but thinking of Kou’s honest nature gives him a small twinge of guilt. _Where did that come from?_ he thinks, quickly pushing the feeling aside.

Yabu finishes her examination. “Well, you definitely seem to have turned the corner. Send me a picture of it twice a day, and as long as it keeps improving, I’ll see you again on Wednesday at the clinic. But if there’s even a slight change for the worse, call me immediately.”

“I will,” Kirishima promises.

“I’ll help you make your bed. And I can wipe you down,” Suoh offers.

“I don’t want to hold up Yabu-sensei,” Kirishima protests.

She waves her hand. “I’ve got some dictation I’ve got to do. If I can just borrow your couch…”

“Of course,” Kirishima says. He brings her a mug of coffee before heading into the bedroom with Suoh to make the bed.

After they make the bed, Suoh says, “Take off your clothes so I can bathe you.”

Kirishima freezes. _What if there’s evidence left from what I was doing before he arrived? I didn’t have a lot of time to clean up…_ “I can wash myself. Just wrap my arm for me, please,” he says.

“What are you getting all shy for?” Suoh asks. “It’ll be easier to just let me wash you.”

Kirishima sighs. “Fine.” He covers his privates with a washcloth and sits on the stool.

“Nice kissmarks,” Suoh snickers as he washes Kirishima’s back.

Kirishima slaps his hand to his neck.

Suoh laughs again. “I was just kidding, but what were you and Motomi up to earlier?”

“Nothing! I was sick,” Kirishima reminds him. “Besides, I was too busy apologizing for lying to him because he asked me about sushi demonstrations before I got your text.”

Suoh stops laughing. “Seriously? I’m sorry, Kei. I was just trying to cover for you.”

Kirishima sighs. “I know you were. And it’s fine. Now he knows about me following him, too, so it worked out for the best.”

“How’s that?” Suoh asks. “Lean back,” he adds as he starts washing Kirishima’s hair.

Kirishima closes his eyes. “Well, I figured he was likely to figure it out sooner or later, so it was better he heard it from me. He seems to really value honesty and openness.”

“That could be a problem, Kei,” Suoh says quietly.

Kirishima looks up at him. Some suds get into his left eye, and he tries to blink them out.

“Let me rinse that for you. Keep your eyes closed,” Suoh orders.

“I’m an honest person,” Kirishima says. “Or at least as honest as I can be.”

“You were, once,” Suoh half-agrees. “But you’ve gotten better at lying. It’s a necessity with the job.”

Kirishima gives a half-shrug. “I’m also good at keeping my mouth shut. You have to tell fewer lies that way.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Suoh says softly. “I’m glad you finally found someone, but be careful, okay?”

“I am,” Kirishima says. _You usually say I’m_ too _careful._

“ _This_ isn’t what I’d call being careful,” Suoh argues, hitting Kirishima’s right elbow.

“Ow!”

“Sorry, I thought I avoided the cut.” Suoh doesn’t look very sorry.

“The infection affected the whole arm, remember?” Kirishima grouses, rubbing the sore arm with his other hand.

 

Once they’re finished with the bath, Suoh helps Kirishima into another of the oversized t-shirts Kou brought him. “I’ll wash this yukata for you,” Suoh offers, heading towards the washing machine.

He’s already in the laundry room before Kirishima remembers he never started the sheets wash. “Wait, Kazu-nii!” he calls.

Suoh turns back. “What? Got something else to wash?”

“I just remembered I never started the sheets,” Kirishima explains, pushing past Suoh to add the yukata and soap to the wash.

“I could have done that.” Suoh smirks. “You really are hiding something, aren’t you?”

Kirishima can’t stop the blush from creeping up his cheeks. “I already told you no!”

Suoh pats him on his left shoulder. “It’s fine. Nice to see you finally growing up, Kei.” He leaves to let Kirishima start the laundry.

_Just when I think he’s the most insensitive jerk in the world, he pretends like he’s learned some sensitivity, but it never sticks,_ Kirishima grouses to himself.

 

After Suoh and the doctor leave, Kirishima tries to read again, but he can’t concentrate because he keeps remembering how close he came to getting caught. He sighs and puts the book down, reaching for his tablet. _I might as well get at least a little work done so I’m not so far behind when I go back._

He opens the tablet case to find a sticky note on the screen:

_Kei-san, if you’re trying to work because you’re bored, try calling me instead, whatever time it is. You’re supposed to be resting, remember? (°_ _◡°_ _♡).:_ _｡ Kou_

Kirishima smiles and picks up his phone. It’s already kind of late, so he decides to text instead.

_Hi, Kou-san. Are you still awake?_

_Yes. I see you are, too._

_I’m not really tired. I think I slept too much today._

_Let me guess. You tried to work._

_How did you know?_

_You saw my notes._

_Notes? I saw the one on my tablet._

_I left some on your laptop and in your briefcase, too. I wanted to make sure you saw it whatever you decided to use for work._

Kirishima starts typing a reply, but the phone rings before he can finish. It’s Kou.

“I told you to call, silly,” Kou chides.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake.”

“I told you it didn’t matter, but thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

Kou sounds happy, and it makes Kirishima smile, too.

“Did you get bored of the guide already?” Kou teases.

“Not bored,” Kirishima mutters, blushing furiously. “It’s just my cousin brought the doctor by again and kind of killed the mood.”

“You were in a mood?” Kou asks in a sultry voice.

Kirishima blushes deeper. “Not anymore,” he says cagily.

“What did the doctor say?” Kou asks, letting the subject drop.

“It’s continuing to improve. She wants to see me again on Wednesday, though she still wants pictures twice a day.”

“That’s great! I can take a picture when I come over in the morning,” Kou says. “What time do you want me there?”

“You live a ways from downtown, right?” Kirishima asks, deliberately vague because he doesn’t want to admit that everything on Kou’s Sion profile is seared into his memory.

“Yeah, in Musashino,” Kou says. “You should come over sometime – though I have to warn you my place is really small.”

“How about you come over after rush hour?” Kirishima says. “I don’t want to make you deal with all that traffic.”

“Alright. That will give you a chance to sleep in,” Kou agrees. “Shall we say ten o’clock?”

“Sure,” Kirishima agrees.

“What can I bring you?” Kou asks.

“You don’t have to bring me anything,” Kirishima protests. “You’ve already given me so much. Those t-shirts and yukata are really convenient.”

“You’ve got to be bored with okayu by now. If you don’t want me to buy something prepared, I can at least bring you some groceries.”

“Let’s go together when you get here,” Kirishima suggests. _That way I can pay for the groceries._

Kou sighs. “You’re supposed to be resting, but I suppose that’s fine as long as you don’t tire yourself out. But I’m carrying the bags, okay?”

Kirishima smiles. “You’re like a mother hen,” he teases.

“All my friends say that. I can’t help it,” Kou confesses.

“I’m the same way. It feels nice to have someone fussing over me for a change,” Kirishima says. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he wishes he could take them back. He’s thankful Kou can’t see the ridiculous level his blush has reached.

“It feels nice to have someone to fuss over,” Kou answers softly.

They let a comfortable silence stretch for several moments before Kou breaks it.

“Kei-san, were you using the things I bought when your mood was interrupted?”

Kirishima freezes. His tongue seems to be too big for his mouth, and he lets out a wheezing gasp so he doesn’t choke.

“Seriously?!” Kou asks. “Wow, I was just teasing you a little; I didn’t think you actually would.”

Kirishima still finds speech impossible.

“Wow, that’s really hot,” Kou continues. “I’d ask you to tell me what you did, but that wouldn’t be taking it slow. So I’ll just imagine it in my head.”

“Kou-san!” Kirishima finally finds his voice. “It’s not what you’re thinking.” _Actually, it’s probably_ exactly _what you’re thinking._

“What is it then?” Kou asks innocently.

Kirishima chuckles. “Nice try, but I’m not going to fall for that.”

“Darn. Guess I’ll just have to rely on my imagination for real then.”

“Did you?” The words are out before Kirishima can swallow them.

“What was that?” Kou asks.

“Nothing,” Kirishima says quickly.

“Oh. Did I try them? I didn’t have time; I went straight to your place after buying them, remember?”

Kirishima feels foolish. _Why would Kou-san have tried them, anyway? He obviously wants to top._

“I kind of wish I had them now, though, now that I’m imagining you using them.”

Kirishima’s blush zooms back to critical level.

“Sorry. Does that make you uncomfortable?” Kou asks.

“No, just embarrassed.” Kirishima casts wildly about for a change of topic; he’s tested the hypothesis that you can actually die of embarrassment enough for one night. “I haven’t gotten a chance to look at that magazine you got yet,” he says as his eyes light on the periodical.

“Sorry, I really did make you uncomfortable. There’s an article about that place in Setagaya I mentioned to you, but hopefully it’s got some other good places to go, too.”

“Maybe I’ll take a look at it when we get off the phone,” Kirishima says. “Do you want to go hiking again next week? Maybe on a weekday?”

“Sounds good.” Kou stifles a yawn.

“You’re getting tired. I should let you go.”

“Sorry,” Kou says sheepishly.

“No, I’m sorry for bothering you so late.”

“I’m glad you did. I’ll see you at ten, okay, Kei-san?”

“Yes.”

“And don’t work! Try to sleep so you can be awake for the movie tomorrow. If you need another distraction, call me.”

“Thank you, Kou-san. Goodnight.”

 

Kirishima settles into bed with the urban hiking magazine. After reading it for half an hour, he turns off the light, ready to fall asleep. But in the dark, Suoh’s warning comes back.

_“That could be a problem… I just don’t want you to get hurt... Be careful.”_

A prickle of some faint emotion tugs at Kirishima’s heart. Kirishima tries to identify it but can’t.

_“If you weren’t cut off from your feelings, you wouldn’t be able to do your job.”_

But Kurebayashi called him “a ticking time bomb.” _Am I really that dangerous? I’ve never been good at identifying my feelings; I was always taught to just put them aside and focus on what needs to be done._

He remembers Kou’s face when they were in the bar at the edge of Ni-chōme, how so many different emotions flickered across it strongly enough for Kirishima to know exactly what Kou was feeling. _I like that. I like how honest and open he is._

With a shock almost as great as the first time he heard it, Kirishima remembers what Suoh said about him not being honest anymore. _It’s true; I have gotten good at lying. I’m almost proud of my lying ability. When did that happen?_

For the first time in a long time, Kirishima finds himself wondering what he wants for his life. _I decided to serve Asami-sama for the rest of my life back in high school. That’s not going to change._

But that decision has changed _him_.

_Do I like who I’ve become? Would Kou-san like me if I let him see_ all _of who I am now?_

_I don’t even know who that is._

Kirishima shakes his head. He’s too old and practical for an existential crisis. He breaks the seal on the bottle of pain pills Yabu prescribed and shakes out two tablets after checking the dose. _That should knock me out. I just hope Asami-sama really doesn’t need me in the next twelve hours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a (brief) time-skip at some point. I'm debating doing it before the next chapter. Do you want to read another round of Kou taking care of Kirishima, more shopping together, and a movie date? Or would you rather move ahead a little? (The characters will ultimately decide, but I value your opinions.)


	13. Red Light, Green Light (Amber)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their makeout sessions keep devolving into a game of "Red Light, Green Light," Kirishima and Kou finally have a frank talk about their relationship. But as he falls harder for Kou, Kirishima's worry deepens about Kou discovering the realities of his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long; I began writing the next one but realized there were some things I needed to take care of first. (So the next one should be a bit quicker, though I'll be updating "Exhibition" first.)
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past

Kirishima is awakened by something buzzing. He fumbles for his phone but realizes the noise is coming from farther away. He finds his glasses and puts them on, feeling a bit woozy when he stands up too quickly. He’s got a slight headache and his mouth feels like it’s lined with cotton.

He follows the buzzing to the door, where he finally figures out it’s the intercom.

“Hi, Kei-san! Were you still asleep? I’m sorry!”

Kirishima smiles. “I’ll buzz you up.” He heads to the laundry room and finds that the yukata is dry, so he ties it around his waist. Then he heads to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth.

 

“Sorry, I woke you up, didn’t I? I guess I should have come later,” Kou says sheepishly, scuffing his foot on the hallway tile.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry I overslept again. I didn’t think to set an alarm last night. You must think I’m really irresponsible, but I hadn’t done it since middle school before this weekend,” Kirishima explains, bowing in apology. He opens the door wider and gestures to Kou to enter.

“It’s fine. You’re sick. You should sleep as much as you can,” Kou says, coming inside. As soon as the door is closed behind them, he stands on his tiptoes and kisses Kirishima. “Minty fresh.” Kou grins.

Kirishima blushes.

Kou holds up a bag. “I know we said we were going to go shopping together, but I brought some stuff for breakfast. My mom always told me it’s not good to shop for food on an empty stomach.” He laughs. “Not that I ever listened to her before now.”

Kirishima chuckles, too.

“Alright, so I figured you still had plenty of okayu left, so I went simple and brought natto and eggs. I figured I could also make some miso soup with whatever you’ve got on hand.” Kou looks up at Kirishima. “Do you like natto? If the smell bothers you, I don’t need to eat it, either…”

“Natto is fine. Thanks for bringing breakfast.” Kirishima kisses Kou again, and they end up on the couch.

“You’re not wearing anything under your yukata,” Kou observes as he slips his hand inside it.

“I didn’t want to make you wait,” Kirishima says.

Kou leans down and swirls his tongue around Kirishima’s nipple.

He looks up, and Kirishima blushes. “What are you doing?” Kirishima asks.

“Exploring to learn your erogenous zones. How does this feel?” Kou squeezes Kirishima’s other nipple.

Kirishima shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“How about this?” Kou asks. He sucks on the first nipple while his hand tugs and twists the second one.

Kirishima lets out a little breath.

Kou looks up, a pleased smile lighting up his face. “I know you got embarrassed on the phone last night, but what did you do yesterday after reading the book?”

“Kou-san!” Kirishima covers his face, mortified.

“You don’t have to give me specifics if you don’t want to… Just in general.”

Kirishima shrugs. “Use your imagination.”

“Did you use everything in the bag?”

Kirishima thinks about it. He didn’t use the urban hiking magazine. “No.”

“What _didn’t_ you use?” Kou asks in a playful tone. “The condoms?”

“I don’t want to play this game,” Kirishima grumbles, covering his face again. He can feel his blush spreading down onto his chest.

“Fine. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard.” Kou takes Kirishima’s left hand and presses it to his lips. “I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman for the rest of the day.” He stands up and offers his hand to Kirishima. “Let’s go make some breakfast.”

Kirishima stands up. As Kou leads him into the kitchen, Kirishima mutters, “I never asked you to be a _total_ gentleman.”

“What was that?” Kou asks, looking back at Kirishima.

“Nothing,” Kirishima says, blushing again.

“It’s okay, I heard you.” Kou leans against the kitchen doorway and tugs Kirishima towards him, wrapping his arms around Kirishima’s neck and giving him a kiss.

Kirishima leans in closer, wanting to feel Kou’s warmth as much as possible. As Kirishima presses their torsos together, Kou spreads his legs, and Kirishima finds himself straddling one of Kou’s. Kirishima’s neck begins to hurt from their difference in heights, so he bends his knees to bring his head lower.

Kou gasps, and Kirishima registers where his thigh is touching. He opens his eyes to meet Kou’s eyes heavily lidded with desire. Kirishima moves his thigh again, and Kou lifts his own thigh in response, bringing it up to meet Kirishima’s groin. When Kou senses that Kirishima is as hot as he is, he smiles.

Kirishima deepens the kiss. He becomes aware that his hands are on Kou’s bottom, pulling him closer to himself.

“Kei-san, that’s a – !” Kou gasps.

Kirishima pulls back a little and looks at Kou. His face is flushed and contorted as if he’s in pain. “Sorry. Are you alright?” Kirishima asks, disentangling quickly.

“I’m fine. Sorry.” Kou’s face turns even redder. “I just –” He gestures vaguely.

Kirishima is confused. He looks down at Kou’s pants, which are still tented. “Sorry, was it getting a little too heated?”

“Yeah. Especially in these skinny jeans.” Kou fidgets uncomfortably.

“Uh –” Kirishima’s not sure what to say or do here. Should he offer to let Kou take his pants off? And then what?

Kou looks equally confused and uncomfortable. They’re both spared trying to figure it out by Kou’s stomach emitting a loud rumble.

“Sorry, I wanted to eat breakfast with you, but I’ve been up for hours,” Kou confesses, reddening to rival one of Kirishima’s deep blushes.

“You didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” Kirishima says. “Let’s get you some food.”

 

Kirishima’s phone rings during breakfast. “Sorry, it’s Asami-sama,” he explains as he excuses himself from the room.

“Kirishima, just what are you telling people about your injury?” Asami asks.

“I’m sorry, Asami-sama. I tried to say it was caused by a punch bowl, but I had to change the story. I didn’t want to change it _too_ much, so I said it happened at Sion.”

“We don’t need rumors going around about what people bring to Sion,” Asami says cagily.

“Of course, Asami-sama. I’m very sorry.”

“Well, the only person Motomi told was Takaba, and it’s unlikely he’ll tell anyone else considering the secret nature of your relationship. Just be more careful from now on, Kei.”

“Yes, Asami-sama.”

“Not for Sion’s sake, Kei. I’m telling you to be more careful for your own sake. Kazumi said Motomi spent the day there yesterday, even while you were sleeping.”

“Motomi-san isn’t a corporate spy,” Kirishima says. “And anyway, I have everything password-protected, even my phone.”

“I just told you I’m not worried about Sion. I’m worried about _you_. Not everyone is as understanding as Takaba.”

Kirishima can’t help making a disbelieving cough.

Asami chuckles. “Exactly. He took things about as well as can be expected, and he knew the kind of man I am from the beginning.”

“Thank you for your concern. I’ll be fine,” Kirishima says. _Couldn’t this have waited until tomorrow?_

“One more thing, Kei,” Asami says, his voice full of mirth.

_What did Kazu-nii say about me now?_

“I’m sorry, but I can’t reciprocate your feelings.”

“What?!” Kirishima splutters. _Was it Kurebayashi-sensei? If so, I’m not going to see h –_

His thoughts are disrupted by a hearty burst of laughter from Asami. “I’m sorry, Kei. I just couldn’t resist. Apparently Motomi is worried that you’re in love with me, and he somehow convinced Takaba that it might be true. Takaba was grilling me about it last night.”

Kirishima squeezes the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, and counts to ten. “Asami-sama, if there’s nothing else, I’d like to get back to my breakfast.”

“Sorry, Kei. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? Suoh looked worried about something yesterday.”

“It can wait, Kei. Enjoy your last day of freedom. Just a moment.” Asami’s voice is muffled as if he’s covered the mouthpiece with his hand, but Kirishima thinks he can hear him talking to Suoh. Asami is soon back. “Sorry, Kei. Suoh wanted me to tell you that you’ll be having at least one and a half days off each week. No exceptions. Let me know your preferred day, though there will have to be some flexibility. And make it a weekday.”

“Thank you, Asami-sama. See you tomorrow.”

When Kirishima returns to the table, Kou’s face is drawn, but he immediately covers it up with a smile. “Welcome back!” His face falls slightly as he asks, “You don’t have to work today, too, do you?”

“No, I still have the day off.”

“Then your boss shouldn’t be bugging you at home when you’re home sick because of an injury at work,” Kou says.

“Asami-sama was just checking up on me,” Kirishima says. He observes how the light seems to go out in Kou’s eyes for a brief moment when Kirishima says Asami’s name. “Actually, he told me I have to take at least one full day off every week from now on.”

“Really? That means we can have a long date!” Kou says excitedly.

 _He really is like a puppy, so easy to please._ Kirishima smiles. _I always wanted a dog as a kid._ “Yes – but unfortunately it has to be a weekday.”

“That’s okay; I’m a freelancer, remember? I mostly set my own hours.” Kou looks at Kirishima. “Feel free to tell me no, okay? But I really enjoy just being in your company. Like yesterday, even when you were sleeping, it was soothing to know you were nearby. So I’d like to see you more often, if possible.”

“I’d like to see you more, too, but my work schedule is really busy,” Kirishima says.

“I understand that. That’s why I’m saying I don’t mind having a ‘date’ that’s just hanging out at your place. Something short, just cooking and eating together. Even just packing your lunch together. Or – you work out, don’t you? Or are you just insanely genetically gifted to have a body like that?”

Kirishima blushes. “I try to keep in shape, yes.” _Good thing we didn’t meet six months ago at the end of my bulking cycle; you’d have thought I was a fat slob instead._ I _thought I was a fat slob, though Kazu-nii says it’s necessary for adding strength._

“So could we work out together? I don’t want to mess with your routine too much, but maybe sometimes? I could show you parkour sometime, and you could show me – whatever it is you do to keep in shape.”

“That sounds… fun,” Kirishima says.

“Are you sure?” Kou asks. “I know how important alone time can be to some people; Aki was always griping at me when he stayed with me that I didn’t give him enough space.”

“If I need more alone time, I’ll let you know,” Kirishima says. “But making that bento together was fun instead of just a chore. I think it would be… fun.”

“You already said that,” Kou says, grinning.

“I don’t want you having to do all the traveling, though,” Kirishima says. “I can go to Musashino sometimes.”

“Okay.”

Kou leans in closer, and soon they’re engaged in another makeout session on the couch.

This one heats up nearly as quickly as the last one. Soon, Kou is untying the obi around Kirishima’s yukata.

“Wait,” Kirishima says.

Kou immediately draws back. He sighs and sits back on the couch. “I know you find this embarrassing, Kei-san, but this is something we’ve got to talk about. I can’t read your mind, especially when you’re giving me conflicting signals.”

“I don’t mean to,” Kirishima says.

“I know. And I’m sure I’ve been giving you mixed signals, too, like just before breakfast. This is new for both of us, okay? I have no idea what I’m doing, either.” Kou reaches out and takes Kirishima’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Kirishima says.

“You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just talk, okay?” Kou gives Kirishima’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Okay.”

“You said you want to take things slow. What do you mean by that?”

“I’m not sure,” Kirishima confesses. “It’s just… when things get heated up, I feel like I can’t think, and I start to worry.”

“What are you worried about?”

“I’m not sure. Whether I’m doing things right. Whether you’re feeling good. Whether we should be doing this. Whether you really like _me_ , or maybe you just like who you _think_ I am …” Kirishima trails off.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m worried about all that, too,” Kou says.

“But I really like you!” Kirishima says, blushing as he realizes what he just said. “I mean, you’re so honest and open with your feelings, I don’t think I like some pretend version of you…”

“Are you pretending with me, Kei-san?” Kou asks. “Are you actually some uncouth boar with terrible manners who never thinks of others first?"

“Of course not. But I know I’m not very expressive.”

Kou squeezes Kirishima’s hand again. “I think you actually are; the fact that you’re not focused on yourself and your own feelings _is_ expressing your extreme consideration for others. Remember that first night, when I told you to order whatever you liked, and you couldn’t even remember what you liked? That told me more about you than you saying you liked fugu would have.”

“I do like fugu,” Kirishima says, a smile playing at his lips.

“Me, too,” Kou says, grinning back. “So let’s get to know one another more so that we can both feel more secure. I’ve waited twenty-five years for my first kiss; I can wait a bit longer for anything more.”

“Okay.” Kirishima nods.

“So, you want clothes to stay on?” Kou asks.

Kirishima nods.

“Okay. Do you want to establish rules for hands?”

“What kind of rules?” Kirishima can finally feel his blush fading away. The longer they talk, the less embarrassing this seems, and he begins to wonder why he made it such a big deal.

 

A few hours later, Kirishima emerges from his bedroom having finished the urban hiking magazine. Kou is sitting on the floor of the living room, focused on his laptop screen. He looks up and smiles, rubbing his eyes.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll be needing glasses yourself soon,” Kirishima says.

“I’ll be fine. I do eye exercises regularly.”

“Eye exercises?”

“To keep the muscles balanced. I have a book about it; I’ll bring it over next time.” Kou touches a thumb to his nose and draws it slowly away until his arm is fully extended then brings it back to his nose, keeping his eyes focused on the thumb the whole time. “Like that.”

“Do they really help?” Kirishima asks skeptically.

“Sure they do. Your eyes have muscles just like everything else. There’s an eye chart in the book. When I started using it, I was a little bit near-sighted, and now I’ve got better than 20/20 vision.”

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. “I guess it’s worth a try,” he says. “Glasses certainly haven’t helped; my eyes just seem to get worse and worse.”

“That’s because the glasses do the work for you, so your muscles get lazy.” Kou stands up and stretches. “I think I’m at a good stopping point. Did you finish the magazine?”

“Yes, I marked a few places that sounded interesting.”

Kou grins when he sees several color-coded sticky notes jutting out of the magazine. “I see.”

“You never said what time the movie was,” Kirishima points out. “You sounded really excited about it, so I don’t want you to miss it.”

Kou glances at his phone. “There’s a showing at five. Do you want to go to that one and then eat dinner out afterwards?”

“Sure.”

“Could you…” Kou trails off, looking away, embarrassed.

“What?” Kirishima asks.

“Never mind.”

“No, please tell me.”

“No, it was a selfish thought. Never mind. Seriously.”

“Kou-san? Please? You can be a little selfish sometimes. I don’t mind.”

“ _I_ mind. You’ll probably say yes even if you don’t want to, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Just tell me, please. Now I’m really curious. I’ll say no if it’s too much to ask.” Kirishima hugs Kou and kisses his forehead.

Kou sighs. “Fine. I was going to ask if you could wear the outfit I picked out for you when we went shopping together. But don’t feel like you have to.”

Kirishima chuckles.

“Sorry! I know it’s a silly request,” Kou says. “That’s why I didn’t want to say it.”

“That’s not why I’m laughing. I’m laughing because you were so hesitant to ask for such a small thing. Sure, I’ll wear it.” Kirishima says.

“The skinny jeans, too?” Kou asks.

Kirishima steels his resolve. “Sure. The movie theater will be dark, right? Just distract me if too many people are staring at me.”

“I can only think of one way to distract you, but it might make people stare more.” Kou grins as he stands on his tiptoes to kiss Kirishima. After a minute, he pulls back and says, “I’m going to have killer calves before too long, dating you.”

Kirishima looks down and notices Kou is on his toes. “Why don’t we sit down?” He suggests.

 

After Kou leaves that evening, Suoh’s and Asami’s warnings play in Kirishima’s mind. He decides to thoroughly inspect his own apartment, making sure there’s nothing weird that Kou could find. _Although I don’t know what he could possibly find; I keep my guns in the hidden compartment in the bed._

Kirishima decides to check there, first. He uses the program on his phone to activate the hydraulics in the bed to tilt it so he can reach the safe. He frowns when he sees that the wooden panel that matches the bedframe is stuck in its retracted position. _How long has it been like that? Good thing I didn’t ask Kou-san to hide under the bed when Kazu-nii came over with the doctor._

Kirishima pulls out his toolkit and fixes the panel. After watching it slide back and forth a few times, Kirishima lowers his bed again, satisfied.   _Not that it was likely he’d find that, and it’s not_ that _unusual to have a safe._

Next, he goes through his closet and drawers carefully. He usually keeps his gun harnesses on a hook on the front wall of the closet: easy to reach, but out of sight unless someone is really searching. He pulls them out. _Would you be able to figure out what they were if you didn’t know?_ _Probably. Unless you thought it was some kind of S &M equipment. But if you didn’t actually pull them off the hook, you’d probably just think they’re suspenders._

He contemplates where he should hide the harnesses, but he can’t think of a better place. They won’t fit in the safe because it’s so small. _Well, I do have a license. If Kou-san asks…_ Kirishima shrugs. _I’ll just have to be careful if I ever undress in front of him. It’s a good thing I’m shy._

Kirishima inspects the rest of the furniture in his bedroom, but he’s very careful about not leaving any Sion materials out, and there’s nothing to find. The kitchen produces a similar result. Kirishima finally ends up in the living room. He carefully searches inside the couch (removing the cushions) and under it. _Nothing. Why were Suoh and Asami-sama so insistent?_

Kirishima looks at the end table. Asami gave it to him when he decided it didn’t match the décor in Sion’s VIP room. It was only in the room for a day, but Kirishima decides he’d better examine it closely. He notices the drawer seems rather shallow compared to the outside, but there doesn’t seem to be a false bottom. When he inspects the underside of the drawer, he notices the gun holster. _Did Asami-sama put that there? Or did one of our clients?_

They’ve managed not to have any violent incidents inside of Sion, which is fairly remarkable considering the nature of its clientele. Kirishima carefully removes the holster from the table, wearing gloves and being careful not to disturb any fingerprints that might be present. He slips it into a plastic bag then buries it in the deepest pocket of his briefcase, sliding in an umbrella on top of it. _It’s a good think Kou-san didn’t see that; it would have been pretty hard to explain. It’s one thing to have a gun for hunting or personal protection; it’s another to have a table set up to aim that gun at another person…_

 

When Kirishima tries to go to sleep that night, he recalls Kou asking, “Are you pretending with me, Kei-san?” He reaches for the bottle of pills on the side table and shakes two into his palm.

He stares at them for a moment.

_Don’t be stupid, Kei. You have to work tomorrow. Remember how you felt this morning? You can’t protect Asami-sama if you’re fuzzy-headed._

He opens the bottle and drops the pills back inside.

 

Two weeks later, Kirishima finds himself confessing to considering using the pain pills to help him sleep during his third session with Kurebayashi. He finds the psychologist as aggravating as ever, especially since her habit of asking seemingly unrelated questions makes him admit to things he didn’t mean to. Like the pills.

“Have you ever used substances to help you avoid thinking about things before?” Kurebayashi asks.

“No. And I decided not to, remember?”

“So what other coping mechanisms do you use?”

Kirishima shrugs. “I just try not to think about it. I’ve done what I can to make sure Kou-san doesn’t find out about the parts of my job he may not like. Why does it even matter, anyway? It has nothing to do with how I function at work.”

“Humans aren’t computers,” Kurebayashi says. “You can’t compartmentalize your life into separate files like that. Your personal life affects your job performance, just as your job can affect your personal life.”

“Not mine,” Kirishima says stubbornly.

Kurebayashi actually rolls her eyes. “That’s because you’ve never allowed yourself to _have_ a personal life before. Your over-the-top dedication to Asami-kun has prevented you from developing in other areas until now.”

“It’s not over-the-top,” Kirishima says sullenly. “I was nothing before I met Asami-sama. Nobody liked me – least of all me. He helped me find a purpose in life.”

Kurebayashi studies him. “What exactly are you worried about Kou-kun finding out?”

“He’s so honest and caring and _good_ , if he finds out who I really am, he won’t want to be with me anymore.” Kirishima bites his lip. He didn’t mean to say _that_ , either.

“Why not?”

“Because if he knew the real me, he wouldn’t like me.”

“Do you like yourself now?”

Kirishima stares at her. He crosses his arms over his chest.

“You don’t like the question.”

“I don’t see why it’s relevant.”

“Self-loathing often leads people down destructive paths. It can make them sabotage their own relationships. Or make them feel they deserve to remain in abusive relationships.”

“No one’s ever abused me,” Kirishima says, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“There are many kinds of abuse, not just physical.”

“I know that. No one’s ever abused me,” Kirishima repeats.

“What don’t you like about yourself? Your behavior or your personality?” Kurebayashi changes the question.

“Both. I mean neither.” Kirishima closes his eyes and waits for Kurebayashi to lambast him for that slip of the tongue. _How does this devil of a woman make me talk about things I don’t even want to_ think _about?_

“What about your personality don’t you like?”

Kirishima sighs and opens his eyes. _Maybe I’ll just give her a dose of cold reality._ “The same things no one else likes: how punctilious and serious I am. Everyone’s always been telling me to lighten up, to stop being so serious, ever since I was a kid. I’ve tried, but I just can’t help it.” He shrugs. “ _No one_ likes that. I can understand why myself – I don’t like it in other people. But as much as I try to ‘relax,’ when I see something that needs to be fixed, I can’t help fixing it.”

“What about Asami-kun? Does he tell you when your work is executed well that it should be submitted more sloppily?”

“No…”

“What about your other colleagues? When you tidy up the breakroom everyday without being asked, or brew a fresh pot of tea when you notice it’s gotten stale, do they complain?”

Kirishima stares at her. “How did you know I do that?”

“I hear things.” Kurebayashi waves her hand. “Your high expectations can be a little hard on your subordinates at times, but they appreciate that Asami-kun always sees their work in its best light, and you give credit where credit is due. People respect a hard worker.”

Kirishima shrugs. “Well, sure, I guess those traits are fine at work, but off the clock, people aren’t exactly lining up to sit next to me at drinking parties.”

“We’re not all party animals. Do you think people want to sit next to a psychologist while they’re letting their hair down?” Kurebayashi counters, a smile playing at her mouth. “It’s not about the number of people you have in your circle; it’s about having people you can trust, however small it is. You’d be surprised how many ‘life of the party’ types have similar worries. ‘Sure, people will talk to me at parties, but I don’t have anyone I can confide my problems to. No one really likes me.’”

Kirishima stares at her.

“You said you can’t help being serious and – was it ‘punctilious’?”

Kirishima nods.

“Have you been that way around Kou-kun?”

“Yes, probably. He laughs when I’m too formal, and he said I’m a good influence on his manners.”

“That doesn’t sound like he doesn’t like you.”

“But that’s only because we’re still getting to know each other. Once he realizes I’m _always_ like this, it will start to wear on him.”

Kurebayashi studies him for a few moments. Kirishima waits for her to speak again. “What _behaviors_ of yours don’t you like?”

“I don’t know,” Kirishima says. “It was pointed out to me recently that I’m not as honest as I once was. And I’ve always thought of myself as an honest person, so that came as somewhat of a shock.”

“Anything else?” Kurebayashi asks.

Kirishima glances at his watch for the fiftieth time that session. “I’d love to talk about this more, but I’ve got to get back to work now, and your next patient is probably waiting.”

“We’ll pick up where we left off next week,” Kurebayashi says. “And don’t expect me to fall for some made-up bullshit.”

Kirishima grits his teeth as he hurries out of Kurebayashi’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: another bit of a time skip and a double date with Asami and Aki! You guys asked, and Kou delivered.


	14. Double Date (Silver and Gold)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Aki and Kirishima continue to drag their heels, Kou decides to take matters into his own hands and orchestrate a double date. But will things go as he planned?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After rereading what I'd already written for this chapter, I realized it was more ready than I thought, so I decided to go ahead and post it.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past
> 
> Parkour terms (links are to videos of the moves; try at your own risk!):  
> [wall run](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08x3P2E122U): running up a wall  
> [cat leap](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFUU3J5Hdbk): leaping onto a wall, landing with your hands on top and your feet on the wall  
> [precision jump](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbLGyASd54): jumping from two feet and landing on both feet (often on top of an obstacle)  
> [underbar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GT-E0dyK4Q): diving feet first through a space under a bar  
> [tic-tac](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S9LFHETtL0): stepping off a wall to gain height or change direction  
> [parkour roll](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iICtT7ycUs): a safety move used to help absorb impact when jumping from a height

Kirishima resists the urge to check his watch. This unexpected Suzuki morning meeting is cutting into his parkour date with Kou, but Asami would never have agreed to a morning meeting if the situation weren’t critical. Kirishima focuses on the participants, observing the slight perspiration erupting on the brow of Suzuki’s fourth-in-command.

Kirishima locks eyes with Asami and communicates with a slight nod of his head, and the meeting adjourns soon afterward.

 “Take me home, Kirishima.”

“Yes, Asami-sama.” _That’s an extra twenty minutes away from my date._

“And cancel my lunch meeting. Cancel everything until four o’clock. You can take off until then, too.”

“Thank you, Asami-sama.” _Well, that makes up for it._

While Asami places the reports he needs to read in his briefcase, Kirishima sends a text to Kou.

When he looks up again, Asami is frowning. _Is he mad because I’m on my phone?_

But Asami is clenching his own phone in his fist, and Kirishima surmises that he tried to summon Takaba but was rejected. _Just don’t send_ me _to track him down._

A block from Asami’s penthouse, Asami rolls down the partition in the car to ask, “Kirishima, just how much do you like Motomi?”

“Sir?”

“Because I may have to kill him.”

Kirishima slams on his brakes and pulls over to the curb. He looks over his shoulder to see if Asami’s playing a weird joke, but he looks serious. “Asami-sama?”

“Why is your boyfriend sending me threatening, naked pictures of Takaba from Takaba’s phone?”

“What?!” Kirishima bursts out. He starts to reach back for the phone but stops himself before Asami is able to see the gesture. _Do not imply that you want to see naked pictures of Takaba, Kei,_ he chides himself. He closes his eyes. “May I ask the context?”

“I just told you the context.”

“Was the picture taken inside or outside?”

“Outside.”

“Was there a note accompanying it?”

“Yes.”

Kirishima waits.

“‘If you want to see more of Akihito, come join us.’ There’s an address.”

Kirishima’s brain races. “Is the address in Musashino?”

“Yes.”

“Is it Musashino Art University?”

“Are you part of this, too, Kirishima?”

“I’m supposed to meet Kou-san there to practice parkour. It was supposed to be just the two of us.”

“So you don’t know why Takaba is naked?”

“How much of him is showing?”

“Just his shoulders.”

“Maybe he got hot and took his shirt off. Or maybe he’s practicing a move that might mess up his clothes.” Kirishima shrugs. “Should I continue to your home?” he suggests

“This ‘parkour’ – it’s the new skill Suoh is training the security team in?”

“Yes, Asami-sama.”

“And you’re learning it, too?” Asami sounds surprised.

“Just for fun. I don’t really have the right body type for it. It favors a smaller frame with a better strength-to-weight ratio,” Kirishima explains.

“Let’s go,” Asami says.

“What?” Kirishima understands; he’s just hoping his understanding is wrong.

But no.

“Musashino Art University,” Asami says.

“Yes, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says, internally sighing. Kou has been trying to get both Akihito and Kirishima to agree to a double date for weeks, but since neither is particularly keen on the idea, it hasn’t happened. _It looks like Kou-san finally took matters into his own hands._

Before he pulls out into traffic, Kirishima grudgingly says, “Asami-sama, parkour requires casual clothing and athletic shoes. Do you want to stop by your home to change first?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Asami says.

Kirishima ponders where _he_ will change. Usually he changes at Kou’s, but if Kou is already at the parkour spot with Takaba, that won’t work. And changing in the car with Asami present is out, too.

 

Kirishima parks three blocks from the university, grabbing his gym bag off the passenger seat. He feels awkward opening the door for Asami here, but he does it.

“Open the trunk,” Asami orders.

Kirishima complies, puzzled until Asami pulls out his gym bag. _Oh, right. I forgot he keeps one in the car._

Kirishima holds out his free hand to take the gym bag, but Asami says, “I’ll carry my own.”

Kirishima bows.

“Relax, Kei. We’re off the clock. I’m just Ryuichi.”

“Yes, Asami-sa – Ryuichi.” _Kou-san will like that even less than he likes ‘Asami-sama.’_

“Where are they?”

Kirishima checks his phone, which buzzed three times while he was driving.

_Is Asami-san coming with you? Hope you don’t mind; I think it will be really good for Aki._

_We’re on the rails by the pyramid._

_Aki wanted to practice wall runs and cat leaps, so we’re near the bike parking lot._

He texts back.

_I just parked. I still need to change. Is there somewhere I can do so on the way?_

_Is Asami-san with you?_

Kirishima decides not to answer that as a small act of revenge for Kou orchestrating this “double date.”

_Are you mad?_

_No._

_No, Asami-san’s not with you? Or you’re not mad?_

_I’m not mad. Where can I change?_

_You are mad. Sorry! m(_ _)m If it’s too awkward, we can go our separate ways._

_Who can?_

_So he’s not with you?_

_I didn’t say that._

_So he is?_

_I didn’t say that, either. (^_^)_

“Stop flirting and let’s go,” Asami grumps.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to figure out where we can change. Kou-san won’t tell me unless I tell him whether you’re with me.”

“That _is_ flirting,” Asami explains.

Kirishima’s phone buzzes.

_Fine. You can change in the library building. There’s a changing room on the first floor for faculty. It should be open._

Kirishima leads the way across the empty campus.

“Do we _need_ to change first?” Asami asks, impatient as always to see Takaba.

“It’s on the way,” Kirishima says.

“Fine.”

 

When they get to the bike parking lot, Asami looks around. “Where are they?”

“They said they were climbing,” Kirishima says, scanning the walls. He doesn’t see them on any of the walls surrounding the parking lot, but movement catches his eye from higher up. “There,” he says, pointing to the side of a building.

“They’re crazy,” Asami says.

“It’s actually fairly safe,” Kirishima says. “The herringbone pattern gives you a lot of hand- and foot- holds.” _Not that I’ve ever climbed_ that _high on it._

Asami raises his eyebrows at Kirishima. “You do this kind of shit?”

“Not that high. But it’s fun. And I’m getting in better shape than years in the gym have gotten me.”

Asami watches them climb nearly to the top of the building. Akihito suddenly flies off the wall and catches the railing of an external staircase landing. Asami lets out his breath in a rush. “He’s a fucking idiot.”

Kirishima can’t help but notice the tenting in Asami’s pants. He blushes and looks back up to watch Kou climb from the wall to the railing. Once both young men are safely on the staircase landing, Kirishima whistles and waves.

Kou’s face breaks out into a wide grin, but Akihito looks none too happy to see Asami standing next to Kirishima. They come down the stairs, Kou leading the way. Kirishima and Asami climb up the flight of stairs leading from the parking lot to the second-floor patio of the building.

“You made it!” Kou grins, giving Kirishima a big hug.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Kirishima says, disengaging as quickly as he can. He knows his face is bright red. “Asami-sama, this is Motomi Kou-san. Kou-san, this is Asami Ryuichi-sama, my boss.”

Asami frowns at the honorific. He politely shakes Kou’s hand, but his eyes are on Akihito, who’s fidgeting.

“I see you put your shirt back on,” Asami says coolly.

“What are you talking about?” Akihito asks. “How did you even know I took it off? It was only for like a second, and that was like half an hour ago.”

Asami raises his eyebrows. “You don’t keep track of what happens on your own phone?”

Akihito wheels on Kou. “Kou, what did you do when you borrowed my phone? You said you had to text Kirishima-san and left your phone at home… but you have your phone!” Realization suddenly dawns on Akihito as he remembers seeing Kou texting on his own phone a few minutes ago.

Kou shrugs. “I’ve been trying to set up a double date for ages, and you two haven’t been cooperative at all, so I decided to invite Asami-san myself. He could have said no.”

“That was an invitation?” Asami asks.

Kou gives him a confused look that clearly communicates “What did you think it was?”

Kirishima chuckles. “Asami-sa–n thought it was a threat.” He changes the honorific midstream in deference to what Asami asked him earlier, but he can’t call him Ryuichi in front of Kou. Asami (and Kirishima’s work schedule) have been a source of tension for them since the first week. Having to cancel three dates (and postpone this one) at the last minute for work in the past two weeks hasn’t helped.

Asami casts Kirishima a look that tells him he’ll pay for that comment later, but Kirishima can’t bring himself to care too much right now.

“What did you send, Kou?” Akihito asks. He opens his phone and laughs a little but then turns red as he scrolls through his message history.

_Was one of their recent conversations sexting?_ Kirishima wonders.

“Have you ever done parkour before?” Kou asks Asami, wisely deciding to change the subject to something safer.

“No.”

“Alright. We can start with the basics. You look like you’re in pretty good shape. Do you work out?”

Asami shrugs and raises his eyebrows as if to say, “Have you seen this body?”

“Hmm. What do you want to do? We could start with vaults – that’s jumping over things – or precisions – jumping to an object and landing on it – or climbs. Or maybe we should start with landings and rolls for safety.”

Kou looks at Akihito for suggestions, but Akihito shrugs. “I don’t think Asami would like parkour.”

“What makes you say that?” Asami asks.

“Because it’s something I can do better than you,” Akihito teases, sticking out his tongue.

“We’ll just see about that, brat,” Asami says.

Kirishima chuckles softly, turning to the side so Asami won’t notice.

“What?” Kou whispers, smiling.

“This will be good. Asami-sa–n is a naturally gifted athlete, and he practices martial arts and strength-trains. He’s probably better than me, but there’s no way he’ll be as good as you or Takaba-kun,” Kirishima says as they watch Akihito and Asami argue.

“No way. You’ve been practicing for two months, and you were in decent shape when you started,” Kou says loyally.

“Well, I’m sure we’re about to find out. This could be fun to watch; Ryuichi hates to lose.”

Akihito comes over to them. “We’re going to make an obstacle course and have a race,” he announces.

As he starts to describe the route, Kou interrupts him. “That’s way too long. Let’s start with something short and simple.” Kou suggests a simple route across the parking lot to the top of the herringbone building second-floor patio.

Akihito and Kirishima nod.

“We can go any way we want?” Asami asks.

“Yep,” Akihito says. “Why don’t you go first?”

“No, after you,” Asami says.

“Let Kei-san go first,” Kou says.

The smirk on Asami’s face tells Kirishima he’ll be hearing about the way Kou addresses him for weeks to come. _Like I haven’t heard enough about how I call him Kou-san. Kou-san is going to owe me big-time for this._ “Do I have to?” Kirishima asks resignedly. Kou always makes him try obstacle runs first so Kirishima can develop his parkour eye and figure out the best flow. But in front of Asami…

Kirishima sighs and gets ready.

“Hold on, we’re timing it,” Akihito says.

When he says go, Kirishima races across the parking lot, easily jumping over the bike racks. When he reaches the low wall before the stairs, he precision-jumps onto it and then leaps for the highest part of the stair railing he can reach, performing an underbar through the railing, landing about halfway up the stairs. He tic-tacs off the wall and lands at the top of the stairs, shouting “Done!”

He jogs back down the stairs. Kou runs up to him and gives him a hug, slapping him on the back. “Great job. Nice underbar!”

“Thanks,” Kirishima says, blushing. Kou only taught him the underbar last week, but Kirishima’s been practicing it every night on the railings in the parking garage at his apartment complex (no one else is ever around when he gets home, and it cuts the distance from his assigned parking space to the elevator by more than half).

“Twelve point seven seconds,” Akihito calls out.

Asami raises his eyebrows at Kirishima. “I didn’t know you could move like that.”

Kirishima shrugs. When Asami took him under his wing in high school, Kirishima was the clumsiest, slowest kid in his grade. _I’ve come a long way since then, largely thanks to you. Parkour is just the latest part of that journey._

 “Next up is Asami,” Akihito calls eagerly.

“I’ll go last since this is my first time,” Asami says.

 “No, newbies have to go first to train their eye,” Akihito argues.

“Let him go last since it’s a race,” Kou suggests. “Time me.”

Kirishima pulls out his phone and times Kou. Instead of heading to the staircase. Kou runs to the right where a column supports the patio. He runs partway up the column, grabs onto the edge of a shed roof next to the column, and pulls himself up and over the railing to the patio.

 “Eight point nine seconds,” Kirishima calls.

When Kou comes back down, he holds his arms out for a hug.

Kirishima gives him a quick one. “Nice job.”

Akihito gives Kou a quick, brotherly hug, too. “Not bad, but you still need to work on your wall run.”

“No way. Not even you could make it all the way to the top,” Kou challenges. “It’s got to be over five meters high.”

“Five? It’s not even four,” Akihito scoffs. “You play it too safe.”

“Fine, go ahead and show me,” Kou goads.

Kirishima starts the timer, and Akihito races up the column effortlessly. He manages to grab the top of the concrete wall with his hand, and then it’s an easy climb over the railing onto the patio.

“Seven point eight seconds,” Kirishima calls.

Kou shrugs. “He can run faster than me.”

“You still did great,” Kirishima says.

“Ha! In your face! Told you I could make it,” Akihito gloats. He turns to Asami. “No more stalling. Now you have to go.”

Asami steps up to the starting position, a look of fierce determination on his face. When Kirishima calls, “Go!” Asami sprints across the parking lot straight for the column.

“He’s fast,” Kou says.

Kirishima nods. Asami was not just the fastest kid in his grade, but in the entire school – even faster than the kids on the track team (at least for short distances).

“He ever done a wall run before?” Kou asks worriedly as Asami’s speed doesn’t decrease as he approaches the wall.

Kirishima doesn’t have time to answer before Asami’s at the wall. His speed ends up being a little too much, and he bounces away from the wall, but he manages to get high enough that one hand is just able to reach the shed roof Kou used. Asami swings his other arm up and climbs onto the roof and over the railing, not quite as gracefully as Kou, but still pretty quickly.

“Eight point one seconds,” Kirishima calls.

Asami comes down the stairs with thunderclouds roiling behind his eyes, but Akihito either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care as he runs up gloating. “Ha! Told you I was better than you!”

“That was amazing, Asami-san,” Kou says, elbowing Akihito. “Aki, be nice. You couldn’t do that the first time you tried a wall run.”

“That obviously wasn’t his first wall run,” Akihito says, elbowing Kou back. “Where’d you learn to do parkour?”

“I didn’t realize ‘parkour’ was just another name for running around. I should have figured,” Asami says.

Akihito looks a little hurt, but Kou says, “Yeah, a lot of people do parkour as kids, but they’re encouraged to ‘grow out’ of it. If you keep it up instead, you can do some really amazing things. And it really helps to watch other traceurs to learn good technique.”

“Okay, let’s do a longer course now,” Akihito says excitedly, eying the herringbone wall again.

“Look, Asami-san is strong, but let’s keep it close to the ground for safety,” Kou says.

Akihito rolls his eyes. “You might have beaten me last time if you hadn’t played it so safe.”

“Fine. Let’s do the same course again. Everyone, just try to focus on beating your own time.” Kou pulls Kirishima aside. “What you did last time was great. Don’t go trying a wall run just because the rest of us did it.”

“I know,” Kirishima says, though he is feeling a little inferior since his time was so much slower than everyone else’s. _Why does Asami-sama have to be so effortlessly good at_ everything _?_ He realizes that he’s not being fair, though. Asami used to run around with a pretty rough gang back in high school, and he probably spent a fair amount of time running through alleys jumping walls and fences.

“Who’s up?” Akihito asks. “Same order?”

The rest shrug, so Kirishima steps up to go. This time, he notices that there’s a similar support column on the left side of the patio, closer to their starting point. He can’t run up it, but it’s close enough to the low wall near the stairs that he might be able to cat onto it and climb to its top. From there, it would be easy to climb over the wall onto the patio.

Everything goes as planned until he’s in midair and realizes that the top of the column is both a bit higher and a bit farther away than he thought. _I’m not going to make it!_

He sticks out his right foot and tic-tacs off the column to the left away from the patio (because he doesn’t want to smack his head on its edge). He lands on his feet and dives into a roll to help absorb the impact – his first parkour roll on pavement. His glasses go flying off, and he scrabbles around for them, hoping he can find them quickly, even though his time is already going to be ridiculously slow.

“Kei-san, are you alright?” Kou cries. He hands Kirishima his glasses, and Kirishima turns to run up the stairs, but Kou grabs his arm. “Wait. We’ll give you a do-over. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re right, rolls don’t feel great on pavement, but I’m perfectly fine.”

Kou leans up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “That was an amazing save,” he says.

Even Akihito looks impressed. “Great bail. And I didn’t even notice that line. That was ballsy.”

Kirishima is mortified. He’s so bad, he’s being praised for screwing up.

Kou takes his turn while Kirishima is given time to recover from his scare. Kou runs up Akihito’s column, reaching for the top of the wall. He manages to grasp it and pulls himself over the railing.

“Eight-even,” Akihito calls. Asami tries to look nonchalant, but Kirishima can see that his competitive beast has been unleashed, and there are two targets in his sights.

Kirishima repeats his run, choosing the same course he did the first time and shaving a few tenths of a second off his time.

Akihito tries Kirishima’s route, making the leap to the column easily. The wall on that side of the patio is higher than the railing though, and he only shaves a tenth of a second off his time.

Asami tries the wall run again, making the same mistake as last time.

The four run the same route twice more each, sticking to their first routes with slight modifications each time. Kirishima’s last run is a full second faster than his first. On Asami’s final run, he finally nails the wall run and pulls himself over the wall quickly.

“Seven-five,” Kirishima calls.

Akihito and Asami lock eyes. “Who’s better?” Asami smirks.

“We tied. And that’s only because the course is so short. When we pick a longer route, you’re toast, old man,” Akihito retorts.

As the two continue to bicker, Kou pulls Kirishima aside. “Is Asami-san always this competitive?” Kou asks worriedly.

“He hasn’t even really started yet,” Kirishima admits.

“That’s what I was afraid of. Neither has Aki. I guess they have _that_ in common, at least.” Kirishima looks confused, so Kou explains, “Aki’s worried they don’t have much in common. They’ve never even been out on a date before.”

Kirishima is unsurprised. Asami’s social calendar is so full of work obligations, the introvert prefers to spend his precious time off unwinding at home alone. Or alone in the company of a sex partner, anyway. “This is an interesting first date,” he says aloud.

“As long as they don’t end up letting their egos get them hurt,” Kou mutters. “I’m going to do everything I can to keep the challenges reasonable. Back me up, okay?”

“Of course. But Asami-san isn’t one to back down from a challenge, so he’ll agree to almost anything, no matter how ridiculous it is,” Kirishima explains.

“Aki’s the same way. And apparently for some reason he won’t rest until we have a longer challenge,” Kou says.

Kirishima feels a little bad betraying his boss, but in the interest of safety, he says, “Takaba-kun probably wants a longer course because Asami-san is a heavy smoker.”

“That explains it!” Kou exclaims. Kirishima looks at him in surprise. “Sometimes I’ve caught a whiff of smoke off both you and Aki, but I know neither of you smokes.” He snaps his fingers. “So we just need to make a longer challenge that’s on the ground.”

Kirishima nods. “What about all those precisions and vaults over by the quad?”

“That’s perfect.”

Akihito calls over to them. “Okay, the fastest way to the roof of the herringbone building for the next challenge.”

Kou flicks him in the forehead. “Kei-san is a beginner, and just because Asami-san can do wall runs, that doesn’t mean he’s insane like you.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” Akihito asks sullenly.

“I promised Kei-san he could practice designing a run today. He wants to go over to the quad.”

Akihito sighs. “The quad is boring.”

Kou shoots him a look.

Akihito glances at Kirishima and says, “Sorry, Kirishima-san.”

“A true traceur can make any place interesting,” Kou teases Akihito.

Akihito grins. “You’re right. I really am sorry, Kirishima-san.”

Kirishima shrugs. “I’m sorry I’m so boring.”

“You’re not. How many times do I have to tell you that before it sinks in?” Kou asks, standing on his tiptoes to kiss Kirishima.

Kirishima turns scarlet. He pulls away and notices Asami eying him curiously. “Kou-san, not in public,” Kirishima hisses.

“Sorry,” Kou says. “You’re just too cute.”

As they walk over to the quad, Asami falls into step beside Kirishima. Akihito and Kou walk ahead of them chattering about free running moves they’re working on.

“You look happier than you have in a long time,” Asami says quietly.

Kirishima shrugs. “I guess I am, but I was never particularly _un_ happy with my life.”

“Perhaps not. But lately, I’ve been wondering whether maybe there’s more to life than just indulging in the finer pleasures of life and not being unhappy.”

Kirishima stares at Asami. “Aren’t you too practical for an existential crisis?”

“Aren’t you?” Asami retorts.

Kirishima flushes. “What has Kurebayashi-sensei been saying about me?”

Asami’s eyebrows shoot up. “I told you last week that she cleared you for work with the offer to continue your sessions for another month if you thought they’d be beneficial. She’s always careful to keep things confidential, reporting only mental fitness for various types of work. You know that.”

“Yes, of course,” Kirishima says quickly.

Asami continues to eye him curiously. “So you really _are_ going through an existential crisis?”

Kirishima chuckles. “No, of course not. I also wasn’t a ticking time bomb, either.”

The lie might have been able to fool most people. Certainly Kirishima’s immediate family, and probably even Suoh. But Asami still looks skeptical. “Is it because of Motomi?” he asks quietly.

Kirishima shrugs. “I really like him. He’s one of the most genuine, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met.”

“Sounds like you’re describing yourself. You’ve found your match.”

“Hardly,” Kirishima scoffs at the idea.

“Maybe some people wouldn’t see that in the ‘you’ now. I’ve corrupted you. Well, I won’t take all the credit – I’ll let Kazumi take some. But you’re still the same person inside, and _anyone_ who knew you in high school would agree.”

Kirishima makes a disbelieving noise in his throat (a habit he annoyingly picked up from Kurebayashi).

“I remember the first time I saw you lie. Your face got so red, I wondered whether it was the first lie you ever told in your life – and it was on my behalf,” Asami recalls.

“It wasn’t,” Kirishima says, even though it was.

Asami eyes him carefully. “It really was? I really did corrupt you, huh.” Asami’s expression doesn’t contain any trace of shame or remorse; his tone is casually observant.

Kirishima shakes his head. “You defended me from that gang. You didn’t deserve the same punishment as them for fighting, but the school rules were too strict. Lying was the right thing to do then.”

Asami shrugs. “If you say so. I would have been fine even if you hadn’t stepped in, but I appreciated the help.”

_That’s probably true. Ryuichi had most of the teachers and administrators eating out of his hand. He always knew how to play both sides._ Kirishima shrugs, too. “Likewise.”

“What are you slowpokes doing back there?” Akihito calls from the quad.

Kirishima jogs to catch up, Asami following a few steps behind.

 “What were you guys talking about?” Kou asks.

Kirishima blushes. He doesn’t want to admit they were talking about how much he likes Kou.

Asami notices Kirishima’s embarrassment and covers for him. “We were just remembering how we met back in high school.”

Kou’s face falls.

_He’s going to start thinking I’m in love with Asami-sama again._ Kirishima clears his throat, “Actually, we were talking about you, and it only turned to our high school days at the end.”

Kirishima’s face is burning, but when Kou’s lights up like a puppy greeting its overdue owner, he decides it’s worth the embarrassment.

“What were you saying about me?” Kou asks.

“That’s a secret,” Kirishima says.

“Was it good?” Kou asks.

Kirishima doesn’t respond, but his deepening blush gives the answer away.

Kou gives him a hug, whispering in his ear, “Man, you’re so adorable right now, I really want to kiss you.”

“Stop flirting, you two,” Akihito says, also looking a bit pink around the edges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musashino Art University is real, and I actually kind of really want to go there to do parkour now after exploring it on Google Maps (street and satellite view). The herringbone building is the northern building on the quad (which is marked by the pin with the university's name). To view the area where the guys were, drop the street-view guy on the first north-to-south-running path to the east of the herringbone building and then look west. 
> 
> I'll be posting the continuation of the date next before returning to Exhibition for a chapter or two. These guys just wouldn't let me leave them mid-date.


	15. Double Trouble (Puce Green)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the double date continues, friction arises within both couples. What are Asami and Akihito getting up to now? And how will Kou and Kirishima weather their first fight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asami and Akihito tried to take over this chapter in a couple of places, so it's a little longer than usual. Thanks to everyone who leaves comments; they really keep me motivated, and I enjoy reading your thoughts and reactions to the story.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors
> 
> Parkour terms (links are to videos of the moves; try at your own risk!):  
> [wall run](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08x3P2E122U): running up a wall  
> [cat leap](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFUU3J5Hdbk): leaping onto a wall, landing with your hands on top and your feet on the wall  
> [precision jump](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbLGyASd54): jumping from two feet and landing on both feet (often on top of an obstacle)  
> [underbar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GT-E0dyK4Q): diving feet first through a space under a bar  
> [tic-tac](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S9LFHETtL0): stepping off a wall to gain height or change direction  
> [parkour roll](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iICtT7ycUs): a safety move used to help absorb impact when jumping from a height  
> [double gainer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGjihGJHjgM): a double backflip performed while traveling forward  
> [triple cork](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khjqdC9Gnzg): a flip that involves three horizontal full-body rotations before landing
> 
> AV: adult video

Kou reluctantly pulls away from Kirishima. “Alright, Kei-san, what are you thinking for your course?”

Kirishima looks around the quad. “I definitely want to include Tic-Tac Alley and Motomi Pass,” he says, grinning at Kou.

Akihito rolls his eyes. “Are you still calling it that? You _haven’t_ been a student here for nearly as long as you _were_ one.”

“Can someone enlighten me, since I seem to be the only one who has no idea what you’re talking about?” Asami asks.

“We’ll walk along the route to make sure everyone understands, and we’ll let you go last again,” Kou reassures him.

“I also want to include the picnic tables if no one’s using them,” Kirishima says, “but I can’t think of an interesting way to connect them.”

“It’s fun to make challenges that let you use moves you’re working on, but the whole point of parkour is moving efficiently from one place to another. Sometimes the most efficient way is plain old regular running,” Kou says.

Akihito wrinkles his nose. “That’s why free running is more fun.”

“You’re free to add in some free running moves to make it more interesting, but when you come in last place because of it, I don’t want to hear about it,” Kou says.

Akihito mutters, “I bet I could beat you even if I did throw in a double gainer or a triple cork.”

“You can’t do a triple cork off a ten foot wall landing in a foam pit,” Kou retorts. “Anyway, enough stalling. Let’s get a move on.” He turns to Kirishima. “Have you figured out your route yet?”

“How about from the stairwell of the inside-out building, to the tables, to Tic-Tac Alley, and along Motomi Pass back to the tables?” Kirishima suggests.

“Checkpoints near the tables, at the end of Tic-Tac Alley, and at the bottom of Motomi Pass?” Kou asks.

Kirishima nods. He leads the way but lets Kou and Akihito explain the layout of the university to Asami.

“You can go however you want to – over, under, through, around – whatever you think is fastest – but you have to reach the three – well, four since the tables are in there twice – checkpoints in order,” Kou explains.

“And the person who reaches the fourth checkpoint the fastest wins,” Asami says, nodding.

“It’s so weird to see you doing parkour,” Akihito bursts out.

“Would you rather I sit and watch _you_?” Asami asks.

“No way, you’re not getting out of it. I have to beat you!”

Asami sighs. “Let’s get this over with then.”

“Are they always like that?” Kou asks Kirishima in a low voice as they lead the way to Tic-Tac Alley.

Kirishima remembers all the times he’s seen Asami throw Akihito over his shoulder, carrying him like a child having a tantrum. But he shrugs noncommittally.

“That bad, huh?” Kou asks. “No wonder Aki’s so insecure. I wonder why they stay together, then. The sex must be amazing.” He blushes slightly as he realizes what he just said, but then he catches the expression on Kirishima’s face. “Seriously? You’ve seen them?!” Kou whispers furiously.

“Of course not!” Kirishima protests. “This is Tic-Tac Alley,” he calls over his shoulder to Asami. “The buildings are so close together, you can get good tic-tac practice in. But you don’t have to. The checkpoint will be here.” He taps a blue pipe on the L-shaped building that closes off the alley. “And the next checkpoint is this way.”

He turns around to lead the way out of the alley.

“You can’t make that kind of face and not tell me the story!” Kou hisses. “Did you _watch_ them?”

“I told you, that’s not it!” Kirishima hisses back. “Do you think I’m some kind of pervert?”

“I don’t know what to think,” Kou whispers. “So you saw them accidentally?”

“I’ve never _seen_ them,” Kirishima says. “Just… heard them. Unintentionally.”

“Where? At the office?” Kou asks.

“Do you really want to know? Anyway, it was while I was working. You know what some of my duties are.”

Kou stops for a second then jogs to catch up to Kirishima again. “Oh. In the _car_?” he whispers. “Eww.”

“The car has a privacy window,” Kirishima explains.

“But you can hear enough through the window that it made you make that face? I really didn’t want to know that!”

“That’s why I tried not to tell you,” Kirishima retorts.

“What are you two whispering about?” Akihito calls out from behind. “It’s very suspicious, you know.”

“Nothing,” they both reply guiltily at the same time.

“Uh-huh.”

“So we have to go down this alley just to come back up it again?” Asami asks.

“Not necessarily,” Kirishima says. “The shortest route between the two checkpoints is over this building.”

“So why didn’t we go that way?”

Kirishima looks at Kou and Akihito, who both shrug.

“Come on,” Akihito says, leading the way. “There are at least five different ways you can scale this building. We’re taking the easiest way for now, but it’s not the fastest.”

“This is Motomi Pass,” Kou explains. “When I was a student here, I had a class over in a building just northwest of the library –” he points towards the alley that branches away from the building they’re crossing – “that always let out late, and my professor for my class in _that_ building –” he points to one across a small courtyard from the one they’re on – “had the most ridiculous punishment assignments if you were even a few seconds late for class.”

“Why didn’t you just cut through the building?” Asami asks. Kirishima smiles; he asked the same question when he first heard the story.

“It’s restricted access.” Kou rolls his eyes. “But climbing it is so easy, I could even manage it on rainy days, though it wasn’t very fun.”

“Here’s the third checkpoint,” Kirishima says, tapping the edge of a fountain once they’re off the roof. “And then it’s just back to the picnic tables.” He leads the way.

“So the timer should be at the start and move to the finish, right?” Akihito asks. “But how will they know the person went through all the checkpoints?”

They station one person at each checkpoint, alternating who’s where so Asami can see how each section of the course is completed by at least one of the others.

Kirishima finishes the route in a minute and forty seconds, which he thinks is respectable considering it’s about four hundred meters long. Akihito goes second, and he finishes in a minute and seven seconds.

“Dang. I wanted to break a minute,” he gasps.

Kou’s up next. Kirishima is stationed at the Tic-Tac Alley checkpoint, and someone opens the door right next to the checkpoint. “Can you hold this door?” the man asks.

Kirishima holds it open and watches the man jog across the alley to the library, opening a door that’s been held ajar by a rolled-up newspaper. Two people carrying a large item wrapped in burlap pass through Kirishima’s door and cross the alley. None of them look behind, so Kirishima continues to hold the door for Kou.

Kou sees him and breaks into a grin, bolting into the building. Kirishima jogs out of the alley. He reaches the tables after Kou.

“How’d you do?” Kirishima asks nonchalantly.

“Fifty-nine point six.” Kou grins widely.

Akihito is apoplectic. “You went _through_ the building! That’s cheating!”

“No, it’s not,” Kou says. “The only rule is that you have to reach all the checkpoints in order. Kei-san, did I reach the Tic-Tac Alley checkpoint?”

Kirishima nods.

“That’s not fair!” Akihito protests.

“You agreed to the rules. ‘Under, over, _through_ , around.’ Stop being a sore loser,” Asami says.

Akihito crosses his arms over his chest. “I can still beat that time, even if I don’t cut through a restricted building,” he avers.

“Go ahead,” Kou says. “Or maybe you’ll get lucky and find a way into the building, too.” He smirks, and Kirishima and Asami chuckle at the face Akihito makes at that idea.

“Motomi Kou-san!” A voice calls from across the quad.

“Uh-oh,” Kou says, hanging his head like a schoolboy caught making mischief – which, it turns out, he basically is. “Professor Yoshizuki,” he says politely, bowing.

“I thought that was you. Didn’t you have enough of running through buildings while you were a student here?”

“I’m sorry, Professor. We were in a race, and the door just happened to be open, so I couldn’t resist. I usually try to stay outside the buildings and out of people’s way now.”

“What are you doing with yourself now? You’re very free on a weekday, even if it _is_ a holiday.”

“I’m a freelancer working on various advertising campaigns. One of my current projects is Uniqlo’s in-store rebranding campaign.”

Yoshizuki’s eyebrows shoot up. “That was you?”

“Yes, Professor.”

Yoshizuki eyes Kou’s companions more closely. Kirishima stands as professionally as he can in his gym shorts and t-shirt. _At least I’m wearing one of the ones Kou-san picked out for me instead of the five-to-a-pack kind._ Yoshizuki’s eyes settle on Asami, taking in the perfectly gelled hair, manicured nails, and designer t-shirt. “Oh, are you entertaining clients?” Yoshizuki asks. He bows and introduces himself.

Kou introduces the others in order, starting with Kirishima. “This is Kirishima Kei, first assistant to Asami Ryuichi, president of Sion Corporation. And this is Takaba Akihito, photojournalist for _Weekly Headlines_.”

Yoshizuki bows. “I’m afraid I don’t have a business card,” he apologizes.

“That’s quite alright; we don’t either,” Asami lies smoothly. Kirishima carries Asami’s and his own business cards in all his bags, including his gym bag, but Asami is choosy about who actually receives them.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you any longer, Motomi-san. Just try to stay out of the building, please. We’re moving several vases into the library exhibit space, and I’d really rather not have to explain to the Chinese Embassy how we managed to break one.”

Kou’s eyes widen. “Yes, Professor. Of course. I’m sorry. We’ll be careful.”

“And Motomi-san, stop by my office this week. I have something I’d like to discuss with you. Bring your portfolio.”

After Yoshizuki is gone, Akihito finally releases the laughter he’s been holding in. “Only you, Kou!”

“What?” Kou grouches.

“Only you –” Akihito is laughing so hard he has to hold onto Kou’s shoulder for support. “Only you would get busted for running through a building” – another pause for giggles – “and end up getting invited to review your portfolio! You’re lucky Asami was here!”

Kou frowns. “I hope that’s not why Professor Yoshizuki –”

Kirishima interrupts him. “I’m sure it’s not. He seemed to know about your Uniqlo campaign and was impressed by it.”

“Either way, I’ll make it clear to him that you and Asami-san are not clients when I meet with him,” Kou resolves.

Kirishima kisses him on the forehead. “Whatever you want to do is fine by me.”

Kou gives him a challenging look but softens when he sees that Kirishima’s wearing a respectful smile. “You know I wouldn’t –”

“I know,” Kirishima says, smiling down at him. _It would never have even occurred to you, but you’re going to go out of your way to make sure that you’re not even accidentally deceiving someone._

“Get a room,” Akihito gripes, and Kou and Kirishima step away from each other.

“Shall we move on?” Asami asks. “It’s probably better we avoid the alley.”

“No way. Don’t even _think_ you’re getting out of this,” Akihito says. “It’s your turn.”

Asami raises his eyebrows. “While I’m sure I could afford to compensate the Chinese Embassy for one of its historical vases, no amount of money could actually _replace_ a national treasure.”

“You won’t break anything.” Akihito rolls his eyes. “Kou will be down the alley, and he’ll make sure you and the priceless vases are safe.”

“I’m supposed to time this time,” Kou says.

“I’m timing. It doesn’t really matter, anyway, does it? The rest of us have already gone.”

“You just want to cheer Asami-san on at the finish line,” Kou teases.

Akihito turns beet red. “I just want to see how slow he is!”

“Uh-huh,” Kou says in a skeptical tone.

“You ready, bastard?” Akihito asks.

Asami nods curtly.

 

When Kirishima sees him descending the building, he knows that Asami will beat his own time. Asami seems to be slowing down, though, and Kirishima is able to keep pace with him to the finish line.

“One-thirty-five. Ha! Take that, old man!” Akihito gloats.

Asami doubles over, overcome by a racking cough.

“Are you alright, Asami-sama?” Kirishima asks worriedly. He fumbles in his gym bag for a spare bottle of water, but by the time he pulls it out, Akihito is already handing his own to Asami.

“Drink this,” Akihito says.

Asami takes a sip, but the coughing doesn’t subside. He hunches over, coughing up phlegm.

“That’s disgusting,” Akihito observes, alternately patting and rubbing Asami’s back.

Kirishima digs in his bag and finds a throat lozenge. “Here, Asami-sama,” he says.

Asami takes the lozenge. “Thank – you – Kei.” He takes a few more sips of water, and his cough gradually subsides.

Akihito glares at Kirishima before turning back to Asami. “How often do you cough like that?” he asks.

“Not often,” Asami says.

Akihito looks at him suspiciously.

“You’ve not heard me before, right?” Asami asks defensively.

“No…” Akihito admits. “Still, don’t you think maybe you should cut back on the smokes? At least a little? Look at what you’re doing to your lungs.”

Asami frowns. “My lungs are fine.”

“Really? Then why did Kou and I _smoke_ you just now?”

Kirishima and Kou discreetly step a bit farther away.

“You do this stuff every day, don’t you?” Asami retorts. “I guess I’ve just let myself get a little out of shape.”

“Fine, whatever,” Akihito huffs. “Live in denial if you want, but you know you’re killing yourself, right?”

“What does it matter to you?” Asami asks icily.

Kou shoots Kirishima a worried look.

Tears run down Akihito’s cheeks, but he brushes them away angrily. “I want to punch you right now.”

“Go ahead.” Asami smirks.

Akihito raises his fist and brings it down in an easy arc as if he were tossing a ball. Asami easily catches it and pulls Akihito to him, giving him a kiss that leaves both Kou and Kirishima blushing.

“Bastard,” Akihito says when Asami finally releases him, but he’s clinging onto Asami’s shoulders as if his legs are incapable of supporting him. Akihito glares at Asami. “I bet you’re too weak to quit.”

Asami’s eyes flash. “I could quit if I wanted to. I just don’t want to.”

“Prove it,” Akihito challenges.

“I don’t want to,” Asami says.

“That’s because you _can’t_.”

“How long?” Asami asks.

“What do you mean?”

“How long would prove it to you? A day? A week?”

“A month,” Akihito says.

Asami snorts. “What will you give me?”

“What do you mean? It’s for your own sake.” Akihito frowns, suspecting where Asami’s thoughts are headed.

“It’s a bet, right?” Asami asks. “So when I win, what do I get? How about I get to decide?” His grin sends shivers down Akihito’s spine.

“I somehow feel like I’m watching an AV,” Kou whispers to Kirishima. Kirishima shrugs. Compared to what he’s seen in the past, this is tame.

“No way. Let’s make it a challenge instead,” Akihito says.

“What’s the difference?” Asami asks.

“I have to give up something, too. Whoever makes it the longest wins.” Akihito grins triumphantly.

“That brings us back to my point. What do I get when I win?”

“The satisfaction of being able to breathe without coughing up a lung isn’t enough for you?” Akihito asks.

Asami whispers something in Akihito’s ear that turns him instantly crimson. Asami’s mouth moves to Akihito’s collarbone, and Kou and Kirishima step even farther, carefully examining the design of one of the picnic tables.

“They can’t design glass thick enough, can they?” Kou whispers to Kirishima.

Kirishima closes his eyes and shudders slightly. “But Asami-sama has never even considered giving up smoking before. I’ve tried buying nicotine gum and lozenges when he’s sick, but he just has me set them out in the smoking lounge for anyone who wants them.” _Maybe Takaba is more than just another plaything, after all. He certainly knows how to manipulate Asami-sama better than anyone else – including me._

“Kirishima,” Asami calls him over. “Make sure all the cigarettes are removed from the cars and the office.”

“Yes, Asami-sama.” Kirishima reaches into his gym bag, pulls out a pack, and tosses it in the trash.

Behind him, Kou’s face falls, but by the time Kirishima turns around, Kou has brightened again. “What’s Aki going to give up?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right! I’ll let you pick, but I’m not really addicted to anything, so it doesn’t really matter. I’m totally going to kick your butt!” Akihito taunts.

Asami smiles. “Junk food.”

Akihito’s face falls for a moment, but his grin quickly comes back. “Just for a month? No problem! That’s just sweets and salty snacks, right?”

“Kirishima, make a list of what constitutes junk food. We’ll start tomorrow morning,” Asami says.

“Yes, Asami-sama.”

Kou gapes at them.

“And order some of those nicotine things. Whatever has enough to match a Dunhill.”

“Hey, wait, you can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Akihito cries.

“Is it?” Asami asks. “It’s not smoking. The deal you made was that I wouldn’t _smoke_.”

Akihito sighs. “Fine.”

Kou looks back and forth between the two of them. “Aki’s screwed, isn’t he?” he whispers to Kirishima.

“Completely,” Kirishima agrees. “Especially when Asami-sama starts delivering vast amounts of sweets at all times of the day and night.”

“He would do that?” Kou asks. “That’s evil.”

“You don’t think Takaba-kun will be placing cigarettes and lighters in Asami-sama’s normal smoking places?”

Kou laughs. “True enough, even though the whole point of him doing this is to _encourage_ Asami-san to quit. They really are a lot alike, aren’t they? But Aki’s still screwed.”

“Like when he threw that punch?” Kirishima asks, raising his eyebrows.

“He’s going to lose on purpose?! But it’s _Aki_ … Oh. Ohhhhhh.” Kou blushes. “How can you be so nonchalant about this? You’re not even blushing!”

Kirishima shrugs. “I guess I’m used to it. As used to it as anyone can get, anyway.”

Kou sighs. He tries to bring Asami and Akihito back out of their own little world. “Alright, I guess we’re done with parkour for the day?”

Kirishima feels a little disappointed, but Asami is still coughing occasionally, so Kirishima nods reluctantly. Asami nods curtly once. Akihito looks around at them then at Asami and sighs but nods.

“Kei-san and I were planning to go back to my place and make lunch together. I already bought the ingredients, but there’s enough for four. You’re welcome to join us – though I have to warn Asami-san that my place is small – or we could go out to eat somewhere.”

“What are you making?” Akihito asks.

“Chicken teriyaki with rice and vegetables,” Kou answers.

“Yummy!” Akihito cries.

But Asami says, “Thank you, but we’ll have to decline. We don’t want to interrupt your date any more than we already have.”

Akihito frowns, but he can’t really argue with Asami’s logic.

“Kei, should I call for another car? Or maybe I could arrange for another to pick you up when you’re ready to leave?” Asami suggests.

“I can drive you back, Asami-sama,” Kirishima offers automatically.

Kou frowns but doesn’t say anything.

“That won’t be necessary. I still know how to drive, you know,” Asami says. “I just don’t want to leave you stranded.”

“I can give Kei-san a ride when he’s ready to go,” Kou says resolutely, giving Kirishima a defiant glare.

“Then I’ll see you at four, Kei.” Asami starts walking back to the car but stops when he notices Akihito isn’t following him. “Hurry up, brat.”

“My bike is this way,” Akihito says, gesturing in the opposite direction.

“You can get it later.”

“That’s stupid. It’s a waste of time and gas.”

“Ride with me,” Asami orders.

“No way!”

“Akihito,” Asami says in his warning tone.

Kirishima stands there awkwardly observing the standoff. Kou keeps glancing at him as if Kou expects Kirishima to do something, but Kirishima isn’t sure what he should do.

“Stop being a brat and come on. I don’t have all day.”

“Shut up, bastard. I’ll see you later.” Akihito turns and starts walking. He doesn’t make it two steps before Asami is grabbing his arm.

“Wait a second,” Kou interjects. Asami and Akihito both turn to look at him as if they’d forgotten he was there.

Kou gives Kirishima a panicked look as if saying, _Help me come up with something!_

Kirishima is still out of ideas, so he gives a half shrug.

Kou starts talking through the situation aloud. “Aki has his bike here. Asami-san has his car. I can ride a bike, and Kei-san can drive, but we’ll only have my bike once you both leave…”

“See? So leave your bike, and Motomi can bring it to you when he brings Kirishima back,” Asami says.

“How is Kou-san supposed to get back home if we take Takaba-kun’s bike?” Kirishima asks. “I don’t have a motorcycle license yet, so I can’t ride either bike.”

Akihito sighs. “Fine. You can ride with me, Asami. That leaves Kirishima-san with the car. That way Kou won’t have to drive downtown and back.”

Asami’s jaw practically drops at that idea, but after a few seconds of contemplation, he gets a wicked grin on his face.

“Bastard, you’d better not try anything. You could cause an accident,” Akihito says, blushing.

The two start to head in the direction of Akihito’s bike, but Kou calls after them, “Hey, wait! You don’t have a helmet for Asami-san.”

Akihito shrugs. “He can wear mine. I’ll be careful.”

He starts to head off again, but Kou grabs his arm and flicks him in the forehead.

“Ow! Stop doing that!” Akihito rubs his head, glaring at Kou.

“I will when you stop being an idiot. You can borrow my helmet. Kei-san will bring it back to me.”

“Fine. Sheesh. You could have just said that at the beginning.”

“You’re welcome,” Kou says.

“Thanks. I’ll meet you there,” Akihito says, jogging towards his bike.

Asami starts to follow him.

“Asami-sama, we’ll ride over in the car and meet him there,” Kirishima says.

“He’ll ditch me,” Asami predicts darkly.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Kou says.

He looks like he’s gearing up to say something, so Kirishima shakes his head slightly at him. Kou frowns.

“Wow, this is a really nice car,” Kou exclaims when Kirishima opens the front passenger door for him. It’s his first time in the car because they’ve always driven separately or taken Kou’s motorcycle on their dates.

The ride over to Kou’s is quiet until Kou blurts out, “Asami-san? What do you think about Aki?”

Kirishima shoots him a warning glance, but Kou is turned around in his seat, focused on Asami.

Asami shrugs one shoulder. “I don’t see why that’s any of your business.”

“I guess it’s not,” Kou acknowledges, “but Aki’s my best friend. I just want him to be happy. Even if you don’t want to tell me, maybe you should tell _him_ sometime.”

“Did Takaba tell you he wasn’t happy with me?” Asami asks stiffly.

“No…” Kou says. “But he just doesn’t seem very confident in your relationship. He thinks you’re going to get bored and cast him aside.”

“I don’t have any intention of letting him go.”

“Then tell him that.”

“I already have.”

“Oh.” Kou chews on that thought for a moment. He looks like he wants to say more. Kirishima reaches out and gives his thigh a warning squeeze. Kou looks at him then glances at Asami in the mirror. “Have you considered couple’s counseling?”

“Kou-san!” Kirishima squawks. “I’m sorry, Asami-sama.”

“What? It’s not a bad thing. My parents had some, and it made things a lot better at home.”

Kirishima parks the car. “There’s Takaba-kun,” he observes. He nudges Kou and gives him a look.

Kou sighs. “I’m sorry if I was too forward, Asami-san.”

Kirishima heads to the rear door to open it for Asami. As he does so, Kou brushes past him.

“I’m heading up to grab my helmet,” Kou says.

“I’m very sorry, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says, bowing.

“It’s fine, Kei.”

When Kou returns with the helmet, he holds out his hand to shake Asami’s. “It was nice to meet you, Asami-san. We should do this again sometime – it doesn’t have to be parkour.”

Asami shakes his hand and nods curtly, taking the helmet and swinging onto the bike behind Akihito without a word.

“I can’t believe you talked to my boss that way,” Kirishima hisses as soon as they’re out of earshot.

“I can’t believe _you_ tried to interrupt our fourth date in two weeks just so you could drive your precious ‘Asami-sama’ home!”

“That’s my job!” Kirishima protests.

“You’re off the clock until four o’clock!”

“Well, I wouldn’t have even _been_ with Asami-sama if _you_ hadn’t invited him to crash our date.”

“You could have come separately.”

“One of my duties is to drive Asami-sama. I’m not done until he reaches his destination. We were only a block from his home when he decided to change course.”

One of Kou’s neighbors passes them, looking over his shoulder curiously as he climbs the stairs.

“Can we continue this discussion inside?” Kirishima asks.

 “Fine.”

As soon as they’re inside Kou’s apartment, Kou says, “It always comes back to ‘Asami-sama.’ Your whole life revolves around him.”

“Because that’s my job.”

“You said your gym bag was so heavy because you keep various supplies in it just in case you need them. But the cigarettes and throat lozenges are just in case ‘ _Asami-sama’_ needs them!”

Kirishima pinches the bridge of his nose. He can feel a headache coming on. “When I take Asami-sama to the gym, I work out at the same time. It’s just easier to keep those things in the bag all the time. It’s not heavy to me.”

“Why do you need to carry them at all? Can’t he do anything for himself? Do you wipe his ass for him, too?”

“Kou-san!” Kirishima gasps.

Kei flumps onto his bed. “I’m sorry, Kei-san. That was uncalled for.” He rakes his hands through his hair. “I just – I guess I just get a little jealous of Asami-san. Especially since you seem to hide how close you are to him.”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima asks, sitting next to Kou.

“Like today, you called him Ryuichi once, but the rest of the time you made sure to call him Asami. And when he said you were reminiscing about your high school days, you said you were actually talking about me. But you’ve known him since high school?”

“Yes, he was my senpai.”

“Did you call him ‘sama’ back then?” Kou asks, still frowning.

Kirishima chuckles. “Of course not. I started that when we started the company. I was Asami-sama’s first employee. I didn’t know anything about corporate culture – my family owns a kimono shop, remember? – so I just called him the way we would call our customers. I had no idea how odd that sounded, but it was actually helpful to our business, so it stuck.”

“What do you mean?” Kou asks.

 _Be careful, Kei! Don’t slip and tell him the real nature of Sion’s business._ “Most service industries call their customers ‘sama’ and use speech that humbles themselves below the customer, right? But Sion’s clubs are exclusive and elite. While the staff of course treats the members with deference, it’s a privilege for them to belong, and Asami-sama is the one who makes those decisions. So he’s on the same level as the customers, not below them. It helps add to the prestigious image of our company.”

Kou is looking at Kirishima skeptically through most of this explanation, but he slowly nods. “Okay. But that doesn’t address my question about why you called him Ryuichi earlier today.”

Kirishima sighs. “It’s like when I’m with my cousin. At work I call him Suoh, and I sometimes call him that when we’re off the clock, too, out of habit.”

Kou still looks glum.

Kirishima takes his hand. “Asami-sama actually told me to call him Ryuichi today since we were off the clock. I didn’t want to because I knew that would make you upset.”

“How did you know?” Kou asks, surprised.

“You told Takaba-kun a while back that you were worried that I was in love with Asami-sama, right?”

Kou turns pink.

“Takaba-kun told Asami-sama who told me. Since then, I’ve tried to be careful about how I talk about Asami-sama so that you’d realize you have nothing to worry about.”

“And I misinterpreted that carefulness to think you were hiding something about your feelings for Asami-san.” Kou buries his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Kei-san.”

Kirishima puts his arm around Kou’s shoulder and gives him a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright, Kou-san. I guess I should have talked to you about it instead. I have absolutely no interest in Asami-sama. I’ve never even thought of him in that way.”

“Really? Not even way back in high school? He’s gorgeous,” Kou teases.

Kirishima levels his gaze. “Do _I_ have something to worry about?” he asks.

“Of course not! He’s good-looking, sure, but he’s kind of an a– I mean, he’s totally not my type at all. You’re way more adorable.”

Kirishima blushes slightly. “Like I said, I’ve never thought of Asami-sama that way. I guess I still see him as the cocky, gawky kid from high school. You’re the first person I’ve ever been interested in.”

Kou frowns. “That’s weird.”

“I’m sorry,” Kirishima says, feeling himself go redder.

“This isn’t some mother duck syndrome, is it?” Kou asks, his frown deepening.

“Mother duck syndrome? What does that mean?”

“Like, maybe I was the first person to show interest in you, so you just imprinted on me like a duckling does, thinking the first thing it sees after hatching must be its mama?”

Kirishima’s jaw drops open. He closes it, swallows, and says delicately, “That’s impossible. I’m not a baby duck. Besides, you weren’t…” He trails off.

Kou’s hand flies to cover his mouth. “Oh! I’m sorry! Of course I wasn’t the first. That was stupid of me. I bet you’ve had men and women hitting on you since forever. It’s a miracle you were single when we met.”

Kirishima makes a disbelieving sound in his throat. “There weren’t _that_ many. Besides, most of them weren’t interested in _me_ so much as how they could _use_ me. Or they said they liked me but would offer suggestions on how I could improve myself. You were the first person who seemed to like me for who I actually am, and I like the fact that you’ve never told me I need to change.”

“Why would I tell you that? I like you just the way you are,” Kou says, turning to kiss Kirishima.

“And I like you just the way you are, too,” Kirishima says. “When we were talking about you earlier, it started because Asami-sama said I looked happier than I have in a long time. And he’s right. I wasn’t _un_ happy before, but I’m happy with you.”

“I’m happy with you, too,” Kou says.

 

Soon they’re lying on the bed making out.

“My day off is the day after tomorrow,” Kirishima reminds Kou.

“I know,” Kou says. “What do you want to do?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night at my place starting tomorrow night.”

Kou pulls back a little to look at him. “On the guest futon?”

Kirishima blushes. “No. I was thinking maybe it was time to change our rules.”

Kou grins. “Are you sure?”

Kirishima nods. “I get off late tomorrow, but I can give you a spare key. You can come over whenever and just go to sleep when you want.”

“Will you wake me when you get home?”

“Of course.”

Kou kisses Kirishima deeply. When they pull back for air, Kou frowns a little. “What if you have to work again? Asami-san hasn’t been honoring your days off lately.”

“I’ll make sure he does this time,” Kirishima promises.

Kou chuckles. “Are you going to tell him why?”

Kirishima purples, but he says resolutely, “I will if I have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inside-out building is the one directly southeast of the quad. The tables are on the open ground floor of the building directly south of the quad, while Tic-Tac Alley is the alley just south of the library. Motomi Pass goes over the westernmost building just south of Tic-Tac Alley.
> 
> Next up: Kirishima and Kou's first time (though I will be writing at least one chapter of "Exhibition" before that, so it will probably be at least a week).
> 
> I might write Asami's and Akihito's challenge as a stand-alone one-shot, but it wouldn't be until I finish both "Color My World" and "Exhibition." Let me know if you'd be interested to read it.


	16. Naked Truth (Scarlet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima has invited Kou to spend the night and relax their "clothes on" rule. How will their first time go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update. Real life has been busy and will continue to be through the end of the month, at least.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, gives kudos, and/or comments! You really keep me motivated.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors

After Kirishima has finished briefing Asami on his adjusted schedule and handed him the stack of reports, Kirishima stands awkwardly, trying to figure out how to broach the subject of his day off.

“What else are you hiding from me?” Asami asks.

“Nothing, Asami-sama. It’s just… about Wednesday.”

Asami looks at him. “Does this have something to do with the Suzuki mess?”

“No, it’s… my day off.”

Asami’s eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything.

Kirishima rushes on. “I know the Suzuki situation is precarious, but I haven’t had a full day off in three weeks, and Kou-san has been getting upset about it.”

“Kei, I realize you’re overworked. We all are. As soon as the Suzuki situation is resolved, you can have a whole weekend off. But Motomi needs to understand that this is your reality. Sometimes your job gets busy. It’s better to set the ground rules early so they learn whining won’t be effective.”

“I know, Ryuichi,” Kirishima says, while thinking, _I’m not sure I want to model_ my _relationship on_ yours. “It’s just… We have special plans for Wednesday.” He can’t help but turn scarlet.

“Don’t tell me you’re celebrating some anniversary. If you get sucked into that nonsense, it’ll never end.”

“That’s not it,” Kirishima says, looking at the floor, feeling himself turn even redder.

“What – oh, is it sex?” Asami asks bluntly. “You didn’t have time earlier, even though Takaba and I left you alone?”

_That was for_ you _, not us._ “We h-haven’t –” Kirishima stammers. His skin feels like it’s on fire, and he wonders how ridiculous he must look.

Asami blinks at him for several seconds before comprehension dawns. “Oh. Fine. Just keep your emergency cell on, okay? Who knows when this Suzuki mess will blow up.”

“Of course, Asami-sama. Thank you.” Kirishima bows and hurries out of the room. _Please don’t let him tell Kazu-nii._

 

Work is so busy for the next day and a half, though, that Kirishima doesn’t have time to worry about whether Asami has told Suoh anything about his upcoming date with Kou. If Kou didn’t stop by to cook him breakfast and iron his clothes for him during the six hours between his shifts, Kirishima wouldn’t have had time to give him the spare key.

The second day’s work is even longer than the first. Kirishima arrives at noon, and at midnight, he’s still neck-deep in analyzing Suzuki Corporation’s recent financial statements (delivered by one of their moles in the accounting department). By three a.m., he’s found the proverbial smoking gun that proves that Suzuki was the real power behind the small-time dealer who tried to attack Asami (wounding Kirishima’s arm instead).

He marches straight to Asami’s office, barely waiting at the door for Asami’s “Come in” before opening the door. “I found it!”

Asami’s sadistic grin would have sent a shiver down Kirishima’s spine if he weren’t so used to it. “Excellent work, Kirishima.”

The next three hours are spent planning and laying a trap for Suzuki. When Kirishima, Asami, and Suoh are so bleary-eyed with fatigue they can barely focus any longer, Asami calls it a night. “Enjoy your day off, Kei. Just don’t tire yourself out _too_ much. You’ve got to be in top form for action Thursday.”

Kirishima blushes. Suoh’s eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Good night, then.” Kirishima hurriedly excuses himself before the two can start in on the teasing that’s inevitably coming.

He’s nearly at the door when Asami calls after him. “Takaba says that a warm bath really helps the soreness afterwards.”

Kirishima doesn’t dignify that remark with a reply. He pretends he didn’t hear, hurrying to grab his briefcase. His face is burning all the way down the elevator. _How does Asami-sama know I want to bottom?_ Kirishima wonders. The two security guards in the lobby glance at him curiously, and he nods curtly at them as he passes. As he makes his way to his car, though, the blush finally fades as excitement flutters his stomach. He can’t help but grin at the thought of Kou waiting for him in his bed.

 

Kirishima smiles when he passes Kou’s motorcycle in the parking garage. In the elevator, he taps his foot. _Is this thing broken? It’s going so slowly today_. He opens his front door carefully, trying not to make any noise. He tiptoes to the open bedroom door, the early morning sun providing just enough light for him to see Kou’s sleeping form under the blanket.

Kirishima tiptoes into the room and pulls out a pair of pajamas and clean underwear from the drawer. He pulls the bedroom door carefully closed behind him so he doesn’t awaken Kou. As he removes his suit jacket, he freezes. Kou is in the bed. His gun safe is on the bottom of the bed. _How am I supposed to put my guns away?_

Kirishima racks his brain. The kitchen is out; Kou is likely to wake up before him and grab some food or tea. Same with the laundry room; Kou might notice Kirishima’s overflowing laundry basket and start a wash for him. The bedroom would be the safest bet – if Kou weren’t already asleep in it. Kirishima sighs.

He finally buries the guns and shoulder holster deep in the big pocket inside his briefcase, setting it in its usual spot under the table by the front door. He deposits his dirty clothes in the laundry room then heads to the bathroom for a shower.

When he returns to the bedroom, he slides into the bed next to Kou carefully. But Kou rolls over and opens his eyes, blinking several times before a slow smile spreads across his face.

“Welcome home, Kei-san. When’d you get home?”

“Just a bit ago. I took a quick shower,” Kirishima explains.

“It’s already light out.” Kou glances at the clock. “You weren’t kidding about working late.”

“I know,” Kirishima says wearily, “but we finally had a breakthrough. Hopefully things will settle down soon.”

“I hope so. You work too hard. Good job.” Kou shifts closer to Kirishima and gives him a kiss. Kirishima tries to deepen it, but Kou pulls back after a moment. “You must be exhausted. Sleep. There’s plenty of time for that later.”

Kirishima can’t help feeling disappointed, especially since the latent promise in Kou’s words has invigorated him.

“Don’t pout,” Kou says, smoothing the furrow between Kirishima’s brows with a finger. “We can still snuggle.” He wraps his arms around Kirishima, and Kou’s steady heartbeat quickly lulls Kirishima into a dreamless sleep.

 

Kirishima awakens to an empty bed. The room is bright as he fumbles for his glasses. It’s eleven o’clock. He sees a glass on the nightstand containing a small sprig of sakura blossoms. Kirishima smiles as he reaches for the note under the glass.

_Kei-san,_

_I went for a run because I was worried I would wake you if I stayed inside any longer. Sorry. I guess I’m just too keyed up. Anyway, call me as soon as you wake up, and I’ll come back. There’s breakfast in the kitchen for you. Oh, and I started the laundry. It might be ready to hang up. Don’t forget to call me right away!_

_(*¯ ³¯*)♥_

_-Kou_

_P.S. Your sleeping face is adorable._

Kirishima blushes. He picks up his phone and dials the second contact on his “most frequently called” list.

“Kei-san! You’re already up? You didn’t sleep very long,” Kou chides. He doesn’t sound out of breath at all.

“Good morning, Kou-san. I slept for over four hours. That’s enough for me,” Kirishima replies. “Are you still running?”

“Yeah. I’m in Yoyogi Park. But I can come back now.”

“That’s nearly two kilometers away,” Kirishima says.

“It’s less than ten minutes running. I thought you’d be asleep a lot longer, so I figured I’d do some laps. But it looks like I’ll be running only five kilometers today.”

“You can run longer if you’d like,” Kirishima says. “I could come meet you.”

“No, that’s okay. You should take it easy today; you’ve been working too hard lately. I’ll see you in ten minutes. Go ahead and eat, okay?”

“Okay,” Kirishima says. “I’ll see you soon. Be safe, Kou-san.”

Once he hangs up, Kirishima reaches into the nightstand drawer for his tablet, but his hand hits the bottle of lube he placed there instead. _Oh, right._ He blushes, glad Kou isn’t there right now. Kirishima peers into the drawer, but the tablet’s not there among the romantic supplies. _That’s right; I left it in my briefcase so I wouldn’t wake up Kou-san._

He pulls out his briefcase and remembers he never put his guns away last night. He stashes them in the safe under the bed and hangs the shoulder harness on its hook in the closet. After the guns are safely stowed, he opens his tablet.

There’s a very brief note from Morita assuring Kirishima that his assistant has everything under control and that he should enjoy his day off. Kirishima smiles and shakes his head at himself. _I can’t help but worry about the Suzuki situation, though. But we can’t make our move until tomorrow, anyway, and everything’s already ready._

He heads to the kitchen to find the breakfast laid out on the counter: natto, rice, miso soup, eggs, and vegetables. He’s just sitting at the table when Kou knocks on the door. Kirishima heads to the door to open it for him.

“You could have used the key,” Kirishima says. “Welcome back.”

“I’m back. Sorry for disturbing,” Kou says. He’s dripping with sweat.

“Did you race back here?” Kirishima leans in to kiss Kou.

Kou kisses him back but maintains a respectful distance. He blushes a little as he explains, “Sorry. I didn’t want to waste any of our time together. Sorry I’m so sweaty. I’ll go shower now.”

“Okay. I just started eating. Do you want me to wait until you’re done?”

“No, I ate before I left. Sorry, I was really hungry.”

“That’s fine.” Kirishima grabs a clean towel for Kou then heads to the table to finish eating before Kou gets out of the shower.

 

As Kirishima’s washing up his breakfast dishes, Kou comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. “Sorry, I forgot to bring a change of clothes in with me,” he explains sheepishly.

“That’s fine. You can change in the bedroom.” The sight of Kou’s lithe, athletic figure makes Kirishima gulp.

Kou looks faintly disappointed as he heads off to the bedroom.

_Did I do something wrong?_ Kirishima wonders. Inviting Kou to spend the night wasn’t nearly as difficult or embarrassing as he’d thought it would be, but now that he’s here, Kirishima doesn’t know what they should do. Usually when they’re together, things tend to heat up naturally, and they both have to frequently apply the brakes to uphold their agreed-upon “rules.” But so far today, Kou seems to keep pushing him away: first when Kirishima arrived home, and just now when Kou came back from his run.

After several minutes of trying to figure it out, Kirishima decides he should just _ask_ Kou. He knocks on the bedroom door.

“Come in,” Kou calls.

Kirishima pushes open the door.

Kou is standing near the closet, wearing a pair of skinny jeans. He’s holding a t-shirt in one hand. “What’s up?” he asks.

Kirishima clears his throat awkwardly. “I just… Are you mad at me?” His face turns instantly red. _I sound like a little kid._

“Of course not!” Kou rushes over and kisses Kirishima. “What made you think that?” Kou asks, pulling back for just a moment to ask.

Kirishima shrugs. “You kept pulling away from me when I tried to kiss you, and –”

“When did I do that?” Kou looks honestly puzzled.

“When you got home – ”

“That’s because I was all sweaty and didn’t want to gross you out.”

“And last night when I got home.”

“That’s because you looked exhausted, and I knew we had all day today once you were rested.”

“And just now, when you said you were going to get dressed, you made a face.”

“I did?” Kou pulls back a little to see if Kirishima is being serious. “What kind of face?”

“I don’t know. Like I did something you didn’t like.”

Kou blushes. “That’s not it… I just…” he trails off, looking down at the floor.

“What is it?” Kirishima places a finger under Kou’s chin and gently lifts it so he can look him in the eye.

“I wanted to seduce you,” Kou confesses. His blush deepens, and he looks away again. “But I didn’t know how.”

Kirishima chuckles.

“You’re my first boyfriend! I don’t know what I’m doing,” Kou cries.

“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at the fact that I was worrying about the exact same thing. You’re my first, too, you know,” Kirishima reminds him. He leans down and kisses Kou, and this time, Kou doesn’t pull away.

The angle is as awkward as ever, and Kou guides Kirishima towards the bed, pushing him down so that he’s sitting on it. Kirishima pulls Kou down towards him, hungry for his warmth. Kou tugs at Kirishima’s t-shirt. As soon as it’s off, they tip over, Kou on top, Kirishima’s legs wrapped around Kou’s waist.

Kou’s mouth abandons Kirishima’s as he traces his way down his neck, along a collarbone, and then down to a nipple. He nips and tugs at it while his other hand pinches and teases the other one. He glances up to gauge Kirishima’s reaction, and their eyes lock. Kirishima tugs on Kou’s shoulder, and their mouths meet again.

Kirishima rolls them to the side, and it’s his turn to explore Kou’s body. With his fingers, he gently traces along the lithe muscles of Kou’s shoulders and arms.

Kou grins. “That tickles.”

“What about this?” Kirishima smiles as his hands wander over Kou’s chest and dance lightly across his abs.

Kou laughs. “Stop! That _really_ – giggle – tickles!”

Kirishima moves one hand back up to Kou’s chest while the other wanders down to his jeans and undoes the button. “Those look uncomfortable,” Kirishima observes as his hand traces Kou’s bulge.

“Getting there,” Kou grunts. “Can I take them off?”

Kirishima nods, and Kou rolls onto his back. Kirishima helps him tug the jeans off.

“What about you?” Kou asks. “It’s not fair if I’m the only one.” He reaches down and pulls at the elastic waistband of Kirishima’s pajama pants. Once they’re off, Kou sits back a little to eye Kirishima from head to toe. “Damn, you’re fine.”

Kirishima takes in Kou’s tousled hair, pink cheeks, swollen lips, supple limbs, and narrow hips. He can’t find the words to express his appreciation of Kou’s body, but Kirishima’s eyes speak for him as they lock with Kou’s, both full of desire and promise.

Kirishima reaches up and cups Kou’s face gently with a hand. “I don’t deserve you,” he says softly.

Kou’s eyes cloud. “What do you mean? If anything, it’s the opposite…”

Kirishima shakes his head. “You’re so amazing. I never knew I could feel this way about anyone. I’m lucky to have you.”

Kou takes Kirishima’s hand from his own face and kisses it. “Then we feel the same way.” He leans down and traces gentle kisses along the fresh scar on Kirishima’s elbow.

Kirishima tugs at him.

“Does it hurt?” Kou asks.

“No. But my mouth misses yours.” Kirishima has no time to feel embarrassed over his cheesy line as Kou’s mouth crushes his. Soon they’re a tangle of limbs again, their gentle synchronized rocking quickly escalating into full-on humping.

Kou is just starting to tug Kirishima’s briefs off when Kirishima’s cell phone sounds a klaxon alarm twice. They both freeze momentarily, but then Kirishima worms his way out from under Kou.

“That’s my emergency signal.” Kirishima reaches for the phone and barks   “Kirishima” into it as he heads for the closet, pulling out his favorite suit for action, one made of a somewhat stretchy fabric that allows for full mobility.

Kirishima listens intently as he pulls the pants and shirt on. “Understood. E.T.A. ten minutes.”

He hangs up and turns to Kou. “I have to go. Sorry, but can you leave the bedroom for a second? I need privacy.”

“What do you mean you have to go? It’s your day off!” Kou protests, still kneeling on the bed.

“I told you it’s an emergency. Please! I don’t have time!”

Kou rolls his eyes. “What kind of emergency can a salaryman have?” he asks, jumping off the bed. “It’s not like you’re a doctor. What, the club might lose some money? It’s not like it’s a matter of life-or-death!” He stalks towards Kirishima.

“It is!” Kirishima retorts furiously. He activates the hydraulics for his bed. “For the last time, give me some privacy. _Please_.”

Kou is momentarily frozen with shock, but a mulish look comes over his face as he crosses his arms. “Just tell me what’s wrong first. Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t help,” Kirishima says dismissively. “It’s my job.”

He gestures one more time for the door, but Kou doesn’t move.

“Suit yourself,” Kirishima mutters. He puts on his shoulder harness, then opens the safe, checks his guns, and loads them.

Kou gasps. “What the –”

“That’s why I asked you to leave. I have a license,” Kirishima explains feebly.

“So you really are a bodyguard?” Kou asks. “Isn’t it too dangerous?”

“It’s my job,” Kirishima repeats as he pulls on his suit jacket. “I have to go.”

“But you’re off-duty. Surely someone else is already there – ”

“Asami-sama’s in danger! I have to go!” Kirishima shouts. Kou’s face falls. Kirishima squeezes his eyes closed for a moment, opens them, and says, “Takaba’s with him. I’ll make sure they’re both safe.”

He heads to the genkan and puts his shoes on quickly. “You can wait here if you’d like. Hopefully I’ll be back quickly. I’m sorry, Kou-san.”

Kirishima reaches over to give Kou a hug. At first, Kou resists, but suddenly he’s squeezing Kirishima back fiercely. “Be safe, Kei-san,” he whispers in his ear before letting him go.

Kirishima rushes out the door, casting one apologetic look over his shoulder before rushing forward. As he races down the stairs to the parking garage, using his parkour training to save valuable time, he tucks Kou into a corner of his mind so that he can devote full focus to the current crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! It was the right place to end the chapter, though. I promise I won't leave Asami and Akihito hanging as long as Sensei has...
> 
> The chapter title was obviously borrowed from the manga, but it was too fitting not to use. Poor Kirishima. That's really not the ideal way to let Kou in on the reality of your job...


	17. Left Behind (Mud Brown)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima has rushed off to help Asami and Akihito, who are in danger. Kou is left alone in Kirishima's apartment with his worries and fears. Will Kirishima return safely? And how will Kou react now that he's glimpsed the darkness in Kirishima's world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long. My first attempt at it went astray, and I had to set it aside for awhile before I was able to figure out how to fix it (which hopefully I did). Hopefully the next chapters will come a bit faster (I have a basic plan for the rest of the story, barring any curveballs the characters throw at me).
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, gives kudos, and/or comments! You really keep me motivated, especially through the tough writing times.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation, has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors

Kou paces back and forth across the living room. He feels like he has to _move_ , but he has no idea where Kirishima went, and anyway with guns involved, he’d just be in the way. He gulps hard and takes a shaky breath.

Kou closes his eyes and counts to ten then exhales slowly.

 _Think, Kou, think! What can you_ do _?_

But nothing comes to his mind other than the image of the cold metal weapons in the same hands that had been caressing him moments before.

_Has Kei-san ever killed anyone?_

His breath comes faster. He can’t catch it. He can feel his heartbeat drumming in his ears. His breathing grows shallower and blackness encroaches from the sides of his vision.

His legs give out, and Kou collapses heavily on the couch. He puts his head between his knees.

_Get a grip, Kou. It’s Kei-san. He’s not a murderer._

A shiver runs down his spine.

 _What if he_ is _? How well do you really know him?_

Kou shakes his head.

 _Aki said he’s not yakuza. So did Kei-san. He’s a_ bodyguard _. Even if he has killed someone, it was probably self-defense._

Another shiver ripples through him.

_Even in self-defense, I don’t think I could kill anyone._

Memories of Kirishima’s angry knife wound, of his bloody shirt in the trash, flood Kou’s mind.

_What if Kei-san were in danger? Could I kill someone to save him?_

Kou swallows, his mouth so dry it’s painful. He honestly doesn’t know the answer to that.

_“Asami-sama’s in danger! Takaba’s with him.”_

And Kirishima is their bodyguard.

_Bodyguards get between attackers and their targets. Kei-san, is ‘Asami-sama’ really that important that you’d risk your own life for his?_

Kou doesn’t really have to ask.

_I can’t compete with that._

Kirishima has told him repeatedly that Asami is just a boss and a friend, but he left Kou’s side to risk his own life to help Asami.

_If Aki called and was in trouble, you’d rush to help him._

But it’s different. It’s _different_. Kou can’t put his finger on _why_ it’s different, but he just knows that it is. For one thing, if Kirishima offered to help, Kou would accept. And there’s a difference between helping out a friend in trouble and planning your whole life around protecting someone.

Kirishima’s knife wound flashes in his mind again.

_Was he protecting ‘Asami-sama’ then?_

Kou always thought the wound was a little too long to be an accident. He remembers the lies Kirishima and Suoh told.

_Even when Kei-san confessed, he lied to me. He lied to me while he was apologizing for lying to me!_

Kou leans back, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them tightly. He can’t stop shivering.

“Please be safe, Kei-san. Please be safe.” Kou remembers that Akihito is there, too. “Please be safe, Kei-san and Aki. Be safe. Be safe. Be safe.” Kou chants it like a mantra, as if the words can weave a protective net around them.

He loses all sense of time.

_Should I call them? Text them? I need to know what’s happening! But what if they’re hiding and their phone gives them away? Or what if I distract them and they get shot?_

As much as he wants to know, he can’t do it. Not if there’s even the slightest chance of it putting them in even more danger.

Kou pulls his knees even tighter to his chest. His arms ache from holding them so close, but he welcomes the pain.

_Hurt me, not them. Hurt me, not them._

“Be safe. Be safe. Be safe.”

Eventually, Kou wonders why his boxers are soaked. He finally releases his death-grip on his knees and sees a trail of snot and tears pooling in his lap.

“Nasty.” _When did I start crying?_

He rinses his legs off in the bathroom. They’ve been curled up so long, his hamstrings don’t want to let his legs straighten all the way. He hobbles back to the bedroom and pulls on a clean pair of underwear and his jeans from yesterday (not his skin-tight seducer jeans he can barely move in). He adds a t-shirt and sweatshirt on top and slips his wallet, phone, and keys in his pockets. Now he’s ready to leave at a moment’s notice if Kirishima calls him.

_If only Kei-san would call!_

Kou tries to focus his attention on the physical state of his body to distract his mind. He stretches his muscles, limbering up for action.

_He’s not going to call until it’s over._

But maybe Kirishima will think of a way Kou can help. Anyway, even if he _doesn’t_ get the call until it’s over, he’ll still want to hurry to wherever Kei-san is.

_And Aki._

Kou feels terrible that he’s focused more on Kirishima than Akihito. _I’ve only known Kei-san for two months. I’ve known Aki since_ I _was two months old!_

“Please be safe. Please be safe. Please be safe. Both of you, please be safe.” Kou finds himself on the couch again, reciting his mantra.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, _finally_ , his phone buzzes.

_Everyone okay._

_It’s over?_

_Yes. Will call when I can._

It’s the first time Kirishima has used such shortened sentences when texting Kou; usually the man is precise and specific (overly “fastidious” or “legalistic,” many might call him, but Kou has always found it charming). The short messages are enough to knock Kou’s worries down a few pegs, but if everything were totally fine now, wouldn’t Kirishima have called instead of texted?

Kou decides it’s safe to text Akihito.

_You okay?_

_I’m fine. Don’t worry._

_You always say that. I can never believe you._

_I thought Kirishima texted you. It’s over._

_What is ‘it’?_

_Look, we’ll have to talk later, okay? I’ve got some stu_

 

Kou waits, but Akihito doesn’t continue.

_Everything still okay?_

 

After a few minutes, Kou gives up and stuffs his phone back in his pocket (after making sure the volume is set to high). _He’s probably making out with Asami-san._

The thought calms him, but only then does he realize he never gave a moment’s worry for Akihito’s partner.

_Well, it’s not like I really know him._

Still, he’s important to both Akihito and Kirishima.

_But it’s his fault Kei-san was in danger._

Is that really fair, though? For all Kou knows, Akihito got into trouble pursuing one of his scoops, and Asami and Kirishima had to rescue him.

_I never would have even met Kei-san if Aki weren’t dating Asami-san._

Kou already can’t imagine his life without Kirishima. What did he used to do with all his free time? He’s never really liked being alone, and yet his freelance job means that he spends much of the day alone. His friends put up with his random texts, but they rarely respond. Even though Kirishima’s busy, he tries to answer every single one, even though Kou has told him repeatedly he doesn’t have to.

_I guess I owe Asami-san a debt of gratitude for indirectly bringing Kei-san into my life._

It’s still hard not to resent the man who monopolizes Kirishima’s time, however.

 

An hour later, Kou is going stir-crazy. _Why won’t Kei-san call?_ He pulls his phone out, fingers hovered above the on-screen keyboard, but he doesn’t want to seem too needy. Kirishima said he would call. He’s obviously busy. Kou just needs to wait.

Instead, he starts scrolling through the pictures on his phone. He sees an unnamed folder and wonders what’s in it. When he opens it, he remembers the background research he had done on Kirishima after his elbow injury.

Kou chuckles to himself. _I was so paranoid back then._

He pulls up the picture of the list he made of things he knows about Kirishima, curious about what he thought he knew after only knowing the man for a week.

Kou softly smiles as he reads the things he wrote about Kirishima. _I guess I knew a fair amount about him already, considering._

When he gets to the last item on the list, however, Kou frowns. He remembers how much the scar on Kirishima’s left side resembles Akihito’s scar that Akihito claimed was from a gunshot wound while escaping Hong Kong. _Kei-san said it was from falling out of a tree when he was a kid, but it doesn’t look that old. Could it_ really _be from a gunshot wound?_

A shiver of fear ripples down Kou’s spine again.

_Kei-san’s safe. He texted you._

Kou flips through the other photographs in the unnamed folder. There’s the prescription bottle. Kou chuckles. _What was I even thinking when I took that picture?_ There’s the under-the-bed safe. _Now I know why the safe is so hidden._ And there’s that odd piece of fabric under the side table in the living room.

Kou frowns.

 _What the heck is that?_ He squints, but he can’t quite make out the shape. When he crawls under the table to get a closer look, it’s not there.

“What are you doing?” a voice asks from the genkan.

Kou sits up quickly, banging his head hard on the drawer of the table. “Ow.” He rubs his forehead and blinks to get the stars out of his eyes as he wriggles out from under the table. “You’re home!” He charges at Kirishima, throwing his arms around him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. My phone died,” Kirishima says, squeezing Kou back. After a moment, Kirishima lets go, but Kou continues to cling to him like a sailor clinging to the mast in a storm. Kirishima holds him again, waiting for the tempest of emotions to pass. “Are you crying?” he eventually asks as the wetness soaks through the shoulder of his suit.

“Sorry,” Kou murmurs into Kirishima’s shoulder.

“No, _I’m_ sorry for worrying you. It’s alright now.” Kirishima slowly shuffles them over to the couch. They sit, but Kou still clings to Kirishima. Kirishima kisses Kou on the top of his head. “How’s your head?” he asks.

“’s fine,” Kou mumbles. “You smell like sweat and… metal. Are you bleeding?”

“No,” Kirishima says. “I told you, I’m perfectly fine. _Everyone’s_ fine.”

After another moment, Kou finally lets Kirishima go.

“You have a huge lump,” Kirishima says, gently fingering the tender spot.

“Ow.” Even the slightest touch is painful.

Kirishima starts to get up, but Kou reaches out, his arms automatically wrapping around his waist.

“Don’t go.”

“I’m just going to the kitchen to get you some ice. I’ll be right back,” Kirishima says. After a moment’s hesitation, Kou reluctantly lets go.

Kirishima returns quickly and presses the ice pack to Kou’s head. Kou flinches and turns away, but Kirishima gently guides him back.

“I know it’s sore, but this will help. Just give it a second. Why don’t you try lying back?”

Kou places his head in Kirishima’s lap. Kirishima blushes but doesn’t say anything. That wasn’t what he meant, but he’s certainly not going to object.

“What were you doing down there, anyway?” Kirishima asks. “Did you drop something?”

“No…” Kou says, blushing faintly. “I had seen something under there – some sort of fabric – the day I took care of you because of your arm injury. I was trying to pass the time waiting by looking through the pictures on my phone, and I still couldn’t tell what it was, so I decided to take another look.”

“It’s not there anymore.”

“I noticed. What was it?”

Kirishima sighs. Kou looks up at him expectantly.

Kirishima sighs again and pushes his glasses up his nose. “I suppose I can tell you now, but this is strictly confidential. You can’t even tell Takaba-kun.”

Kou hesitates for just a second before nodding. “I promise.”

“Asami-san bought that table for Club Sion. It was only in the club for a brief time before he decided it didn’t match the décor and offered it to me since I’d been meaning to get a side table for a while.”

“Okay…”

Kirishima looks at him. “That fabric was an under-table gun holster.”

Kou gasps.

Kirishima chuckles softly. “That was my reaction, too, when I discovered it. Obviously one of our clients put it there. Like I told you before, we’ve never had an incidence of violence in the club –”

“Except your arm,” Kou corrects.

Kirishima’s face gets that closed-off look it often gets when talking about work. “Right, but that was an accident.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. You’re a bad liar.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were protecting Asami-san, weren’t you? That’s really how you got injured.”

Kirishima studies Kou for several moments. “Yes, it’s true.”

“You lied to me. Even while you were apologizing for lying.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I told you I don’t like being lied to.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“If I can’t trust you, we can’t have a relationship.”

Kirishima locks eyes with Kou. “You can trust me.”

“You’ve been lying to me from the beginning.”

“I really am sorry.” Kirishima is startled by the hurt in Kou’s eyes. He knew Kou valued honesty, but he didn’t realize how much his dishonesty would hurt the frank young man. Kirishima carefully shifts Kou off his lap and slides off the couch, bowing down in seiza. “I really am sorry. Please forgive me.” He gazes up at Kou. “I promise to be honest from now on. If I can’t answer your questions, I’ll tell you that instead of lying.”

Kou still looks skeptical, so Kirishima bows down again, keeping his eyes lowered, until Kou sighs and says, “Fine. You’d better, though.”

“I will,” Kirishima promises. “Like earlier today, when I asked you to leave my bedroom instead of making up a lame excuse to get you out.”

Kou gives a brief half-smile. “I guess that’s true.”

Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief, thinking he’s managed to skirt the issue of the gun holster.

But Kou isn’t going to forget about something like that so easily. “Did you figure out who put the gun holster on that table?”

“Yes. The person who injured my arm had a very small business contract with us and caught us completely by surprise with the attack; I should have been able to stop him without getting injured. But it didn’t really make any sense for him to attack; the business deal was mundane and fair. When I discovered the gun holster, we reviewed security tapes and suspected that a member of one of our long-time client’s companies was responsible, but given the long relationship we had with them, we needed to be certain.”

“Is that why you’ve been so busy the past month?”

“Yes. I found evidence linking that company with the person who injured me. But we still didn’t know _why_ they wanted to attack us, nor who their target was in Club Sion. We were able to obtain information from within their company, evidence that one of their senior leaders was actually a spy from a yakuza group that owns several clubs in Shinjuku.”

“Rival clubs?” Kou gasps.

Kirishima nods. “We were planning to provide evidence to our client tomorrow, but things came to a head today, and we had to assist our client.”

“But you’re not yakuza, right?” Kou asks, his brow furrowing.

“I most certainly am not,” Kirishima says stoutly. “Unfortunately, many in our business are, including some of our clients. We have to be very vigilant to keep this kind of situation out of Club Sion. Most of our clients are business leaders, senior politicians, and government officials. They don't want to be exposed to that kind of thing.”

“Is that why you have guns?”

“Yes. Yakuza have guns, and while I’d prefer to never use mine, you can’t fight a gun with your fists.”

“Have you ever shot anyone?”

Kirishima eyes Kou again. “Yes. Only in defense, and only as a last resort.”

“How many people have you killed?” Kou holds his breath, dreading the answer.

“I don’t know.”

“Is it that many?” Kou’s jaw drops.

“It’s not like in the movies. If you stick around to have a shootout, you’re likely to end up dead. When the guns come out, we’re trying to get to safety. You don’t stick around to see if you’ve successfully shot someone; you just keep moving. It’s actually pretty hard to hit a moving target, so chances are you missed. Besides, even if I knew I struck someone, I wouldn’t know if they survived the wound or not. Not unless I ran into them again. So the number is probably very low, but I don’t know.”

“Oh.” Kou leans over and kisses Kirishima’s cheek. “I’m sorry for making you talk about unpleasant things.”

“I’m sorry for making you think about unpleasant things.”

Kou’s brow furrows again. “Wait, why was Aki there tonight, then? Does he usually go to work with Asami-san?”

“I’m not one hundred percent certain, myself,” Kirishima answers, “but based on what I overheard, it sounded like he was pursuing a scoop at our client’s office – I’m not sure, but perhaps it was related to the yakuza infiltration, perhaps not – and got caught. He contacted Asami-san, and the situation escalated from there.”

“Oh.” Kou scrunches up his face, opens his mouth as if to say something, and then scrunches up his face again.

“What are you wondering about? You can ask me anything. I may not be able to answer, but I won’t get mad at you for asking,” Kirishima says.

“How often do you use your guns?”

“Not often,” Kirishima says. “The last time was…” He hesitates, but if Kou’s going to trust him, he has to be more forthright. “… In Hong Kong.”

“Hong Kong? Was it –” Kou stops abruptly.

“Yes, it was when we were rescuing Takaba. He was kidnapped by…” Kirishima trails off. How can he explain Fei Long’s relationship with Asami when there’s so much he doesn’t know about it himself?

“That long-haired Chinese guy?” Kou asks. “I figured. But why?”

“Because of his relationship with Asami-san.”

Kou gapes at him. “So he was being held for _ransom_?”

“If it were that simple, we wouldn’t have had so much trouble getting him back. I actually don’t know the history, so I really shouldn’t say anything, but based on what I observed, it seemed like perhaps Fei Long was a former lover of Asami-san’s.”

“Oh. Oh!” Things are beginning to click into place for Kou. “So all that had nothing to do with Aki’s job?”

“I believe he got Fei Long’s attention because of his job. How Fei Long was able to deduce Takaba-kun’s relationship with Asami-san, I have no idea.”

“You’ve been really trying hard not to call him ‘sama’ in front of me. Thank you.”

“It’s hard. I’m bound to slip up.”

“That’s okay.” Kou kisses Kirishima.

Soon they’re horizontal on the couch.

“I should go shower,” Kirishima says.

“It’s fine,” Kou says, reaching up to lock lips with Kirishima again.

“You said I smell.”

“I don’t mind. Even your sweat smells good.”

“That’s weird.”

“Eek!” Kou suddenly shrieks.

“What?” Kirishima asks, pulling back to look at him.

“Sorry. The ice pack…” Kou pulls the leaking ice pack out from under his back. “Sorry, it was cold.”

Kirishima takes it to the kitchen and tosses it in the sink. When he gets back to the living room, Kou is blotting up the water spot on the couch with a wash cloth.

Suddenly, Kou’s stomach growls loudly.

“Have you eaten anything since breakfast?” Kirishima asks.

Kou shakes his head. “I was too worried.”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten, either. Let’s order some sushi.”

Kou’s face lights up. “Can we?”

“Of course we can.” Kirishima makes a quick call to place the order. “I’ll go take a quick shower before the food arrives,” he says.

“It’s really bothering you, isn’t it? Sorry I said you smell.” Kou kisses Kirishima.

“If we start that again, I’ll never make it to the shower.”

Kou reluctantly let’s Kirishima go.

 

As they’re feeding each other sushi, Kirishima says, “The good news is that thanks to the situation being resolved today, I don’t have to go into work tomorrow now. But what about you?”

Kou looks at him and sets his chopsticks down, a serious look settling on his face. “Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about. I met with Professor Yoshizuki yesterday. The one we ran into while doing parkour?”

Kirishima sets his own chopsticks down. “Yes, I remember.” He looks at Kou, an odd feeling of trepidation in his stomach.

“Professor Yoshizuki wants to recommend me for a fellowship.” Kou takes a deep breath. “In America. I’m meeting with him tomorrow to discuss it some more and make selections from my portfolio for the application.”


	18. Breakdance (Ice Blue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima and Kou talk about the fellowship in America and try to get back on track with their date over a romantic dinner. Will they finally get to finish the date, or will things go off track again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know basically where the rest of this story is going, but the boys keep taking over. For a while I wasn't sure they were going in the same direction as my plans, but it all worked out in the end.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, gives kudos, and/or comments! You really keep me motivated, especially through the tough writing times.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Kodama: the yakuza group that infiltrated Suzuki Corporation
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> nigiri: sushi consisting of a small ball of rice and a piece of sashimi (raw fish)  
> megane: glasses (Akihito's nickname for Kirishima)

**Chapter 18: Breakdance (Ice blue)**

“America?” Kirishima asks blankly. He’s just gotten used to having Kou in his life, and now he has to go back… to what he had before? “How long?”

Kou shrugs. “The fellowship can last anywhere from one to four years. The average is two years.”

Kirishima gulps. _Four years?_ Even one year sounds too long. But… “It’s an amazing opportunity. You have to consider it.”

“I know, but…” Kou trails off. “Would you miss me?”

“Of course,” Kirishima says. “But there are telephones.”

“And Skype,” Kou adds. “The time difference might be a problem, though…”

“It’s thirteen hours in the summer, fourteen in the winter,” Kirishima says. “With my late work hours…” He trails off as he thinks through it. “I usually start between ten p.m. and three a.m. New York time, so we could talk before you go to bed. And I finish anywhere between one p.m. and five p.m.” He frowns. “You’d be working then. Still, we could talk once a day.”

“Maybe I could take a late lunch or afternoon break,” Kou says. “There’s a lot of solo work.”

“And you’ll get vacations occasionally, right?”

“Yeah… But I’d probably only be able to afford to come back once a year. Plane tickets are expensive, and the fellowship doesn’t pay that much.”

“I could help pay for the ticket.”

“But…” Kou objects, frowning.

“Americans get more vacation than Japanese do,” Kirishima points out. “So if I want to see you… though I’m sure you’ll want to see your family and friends, too.”

“We don’t even know if I’ll get the fellowship,” Kou says. “There are people applying from all over the world.”

“They’d be idiots not to pick you,” Kirishima says loyally.

Kou smiles briefly before growing serious again. “But what about…” He trails off.

“What about what?” Kirishima asks.

“I’m worried that you’ll just go back to your old life and forget about me.”

“That wouldn’t happen,” Kirishima protests. “It’d be like… My brother Kenta is colorblind. As you can imagine, growing up in a family of artisans, it was a little tough for him. I remember he asked me once to describe what seeing red and green is like. But I couldn’t – how can you possibly explain something like that? I tried drawing him a picture with my crayons, but of course he couldn’t see all the shades. I wished so much that I could just fix his eyes and _show_ him. That’s what you did for me. I didn’t realize there was anything wrong with the world I was living in, but you colored my world. I can’t go back to seeing in black and white. I don’t want to.”

Kou blushes in a hue that would rival Kirishima’s most intense one. He comes around the table and throws his arms around Kirishima’s neck. “You did the same for me,” he murmurs in Kirishima’s ear.

“No,” Kirishima says.

Kou looks up at him in surprise.

“You were already living in a vibrant world. All I did was help you get over one little fear –”

“It was a big fear,” Kou corrects.

“But you make the most out of life. When you get to New York, your world’s going to expand into a universe, and you’ll explore every corner of it. _I’m_ the one who should be worried.”

“Even if I do, that’ll just give me more things to show you,” Kou says, smiling.

“Then I’ll look forward to it,” Kirishima says, hugging Kou again so Kou can’t see Kirishima’s face.

_He really wants to do this. And he really is going to see so much and meet so many new people… He’ll realize how much better he can do than me. ‘Mother duck syndrome,’ he accused me of having… Isn’t_ he _the one who imprinted on_ me _?_

But Kirishima can’t voice any of these fears aloud. He has no right to tell Kou not to go. It’d be like telling an eagle not to fly.

Kou sits on Kirishima’s lap and pulls the sushi platter closer. “Tell me if I’m too heavy,” Kou says, picking up a _nigiri_ with his chopsticks, dipping it in soy sauce, and holding it up for Kirishima to eat.

“You could never be heavy,” Kirishima says before eating the morsel.

“You’ve got a grain of rice,” Kou says, leaning down and licking it off the corner of Kirishima’s mouth.

 

It takes them an hour to finish eating dinner due to their multitasking. Finally, they move to the bedroom.

“What time do you have to be up tomorrow?” Kirishima asks.

Kou scrunches his mouth as he thinks. “My meeting’s at one, but I want to go through my portfolio one more time and read over the information Professor Yoshizuki gave me. I’m having trouble thinking in dollars instead of yen.”

“I’m used to dealing with different currencies. I could help you with the calculations,” Kirishima offers.

“That’d be great! My portfolio is on my computer, though… So I think I’d like to be up by nine.”

“Will that give you enough time to do everything and ride to Musashino?” Kirishima asks doubtfully.

“Yeah, it should be plenty of time. I’m free after my meeting, too…” Kou says, grinning at Kirishima.

“Are you sure? You took today off.”

“I have a deadline Monday, but I don’t mind working through the weekend. You rarely get a day off, and I don’t want to miss out. Anyway, enough talking.” Kou claims Kirishima’s lips, guiding the pair to the bed.

“Let me set the alarm before you distract me too much,” Kirishima says. He turns towards the nightstand.

“Do it later,” Kou suggests as he pushes Kirishima onto the bed.

“I might forget later,” Kirishima protests. “And I don’t want to be worrying about it until I do it.”

He tugs himself free and leans across the bed, setting the alarm quickly. His eyes are drawn to the nightstand drawer, and he can’t help but blush remembering the supplies waiting there.

“What’s that look for?” Kou asks, smirking as he follows Kirishima’s eyes. Kou reaches across Kirishima and tugs the drawer open. “Can we use these?” he asks, his grin widening mischievously.

“That’s why I got them,” Kirishima mutters. “You’re acting like Kazu-nii.”

“Sorry, I’m not teasing you. I got some, too. They’re in my bag,” Kou says. He pulls out the lube and the pack of condoms and sets them on the nightstand. “You still want to, right?” he asks, looking at Kirishima intently.

“Of course. Don’t you?” Kirishima asks. _What if he doesn’t want to after this afternoon?_

“Absolutely.” Kou leans in and kisses Kirishima softly. “Just tell me if you change your mind midway.”

“Okay.”

Somehow it feels more awkward than it did before Kirishima left. He lets out a small sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Kou asks.

“Nothing. I just wish that phone call hadn’t interrupted us earlier.”

Kou’s face immediately clouds over.

Kirishima mentally kicks himself.  _Why did I bring that up?_

“Me, too,” Kou says. “But… if you hadn’t gone, something might have happened to Aki, right? Or Asami-san?” he adds almost as an afterthought.

Kou leans down and kisses the scar on Kirishima’s elbow. Then Kou tugs up Kirishima’s t-shirt and kisses the scar on his left side.

_Didn’t I tell him that was from a tree branch?_ Kirishima wonders. But when Kou looks up at him, Kirishima understands. “That was actually from… Hong Kong,” he confesses.

“I figured.”

Kirishima’s eyes widen. “How?”

“It looks similar to Aki’s, and it’s faded about as much in the same amount of time. Was yours also a bullet wound?”

_Takaba_ told _him that? Is he an idiot?_

Kirishima nods. “Sorry.”

“Yours is a lot bigger than Aki’s. If it’d been a little farther over, it’d have hit your spleen, right? Couldn’t you die from that?”

Kirishima gives a half-shrug. “It depends. I’m not a doctor, so I’m not really sure. When did you study anatomy?”

Kou gives a shrug of his own. “I got mono in college, and my spleen was inflamed. I was told I wasn’t allowed to ride my bike because it had an increased chance of rupturing if I got into an accident, and it could be fatal.”

He leans down and kisses Kirishima’s scar again.

“I’m not sure I can get used to the idea of you risking your life to save other people all the time,” he says quietly.

Kirishima freezes. “It’s not _all_ the time. Just when I’m needed.”

“You’ve gotten seriously hurt twice in the last six months. And that’s just what I know about,” Kou counters.

“Those were… exceptions,” Kirishima says. “Hong Kong was an exceptional circumstance. Anyway, in both situations, I had let my guard down because I wasn’t expecting the other party to attack. In Hong Kong, we’d just successfully made the exchange for Takaba. There was absolutely no reason for the Russians –” He stops abruptly.

“The _Russians_?” Kou asks incredulously. “I thought that Chinese guy had him! You really are living in a James Bond world, aren’t you?”

“No. I’m mostly just a salaryman. I only have to fulfill my bodyguard role occasionally. Anyway, the Russians only got involved to get Fei Long’s attention. Like I said, it was an exceptional circumstance, one unlikely to occur again. Everyone in Japan knows not to cross Asami-sama.”

Kou sits up and stares at him. “I thought you said you’re not yakuza.”

“I’m not,” Kirishima says stoutly.

“And yet the yakuza are scared of Asami-san?” Kou asks incredulously.

“Because of his influence,” Kirishima tries to backpedal. “I told you that Club Sion’s clients are elite business leaders, top government officials, and senior politicians.”

“And that’s enough for the yakuza to leave him alone,” Kou says disbelievingly.

Kirishima gives a half-shrug. “Most of the time. Except in this most recent case – and even then, they tried to hide what they were doing, using a spy deeply embedded in a legitimate company.”

Kou is still frowning. “When I told Aki about you and he figured out who you were, he tried to warn me away from you. And he said he met Asami ‘through work.’ When I asked for specifics, he said it was a photoshoot for a product he couldn’t remember.”

Kirishima raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything.

“You know what Aki’s main job is, right?”

Kirishima shrugs. “He also does a lot of photoshoots, right?”

Kou scowls. “What was the product?”

“I don’t know.”

“You arrange everything for Asami-san, right? So you should know,” Kou presses.

“It was a long time ago. And I’m not directly involved in arranging photoshoots; that kind of work is done by my subordinates.”

Kou’s face softens a little, but then he says, “You said you have yakuza clients, too.”

Kirishima sighs. “Look, the yakuza are an important part of the business world. Despite the new laws, they’re integral to business in Japan, and people can’t simply start ignoring them all of the sudden. The world doesn’t work that way. So they need a place to meet safe from prying eyes. Anyway, yakuza don’t attack civilians; they keep their skirmishes to themselves.”

Kou eyes the scar on Kirishima’s arm. “Are you still lying to me? First you tell me you were attacked by the yakuza, but you’re not yakuza. Now you’re saying yakuza don’t attack non-yakuza. Which is it?”

Kirishima closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Both. _In general_ , the yakuza don’t attack civilians. In this case, they paid someone else to attack Asami-sa-n, hoping we wouldn’t figure out it was them. That’s why I said it was an exception. Anyway, I should have been able to avoid this attack. I wasn’t paying attention and was caught by surprise.”

“But if you’re not attacked _often_ , wouldn’t that mean that every time you _are_ , you’ll be caught by surprise?” Kou asks.

“That’s why I keep my training up,” Kirishima retorts. “I told you, I wasn’t paying attention that night.”

“That was right after we met,” Kou says quietly.

“It was,” Kirishima agrees, wondering where this is going now.

“So it was my fault? I was the distraction?” Kou asks.

“No,” Kirishima says, but he can’t quite meet Kou’s eyes.

“I was,” Kou says, his eyes clouding with tears. He takes Kirishima’s arm and kisses it once more. “This is my fault.”

“No! It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let my attention wander like that, even if it was a mundane business deal.”

“I don’t want you to get injured because of me,” Kou says. Kirishima starts to protest again, but Kou says firmly, “Not even indirectly.”

Kirishima looks at him for a long moment, steeling himself. “What are you saying?” he finally asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to break up?” Kirishima asks, his face set in its impassive business mask.

“If that’s what you want,” Kou mumbles, looking away.

_It’s not what_ I _want, but it’s what_ you _want, isn’t it? But you want me to take the blame? I knew this would happen sooner or later… It’s just much sooner than I was hoping for._

“Maybe that’s best,” Kirishima says.

Tears splash down Kou’s face. “Yeah, maybe. I – I’ll get my things.” He stumbles around the bedroom, gathering the spare clothes he kept in one of the drawers, his toothbrush from the bathroom, his clean clothes from the laundry room.

Kirishima sits frozen on the bed.

_I can’t believe this is happening._

“Goodbye. Thanks for… everything,” Kou says softly.

Kirishima doesn’t move.

Only the click of the door closing behind Kou startles Kirishima out of his stupor. He hears the lock turning and the sound of metal scraping along the floor.

_Oh. The spare key._

Kirishima can’t bring himself to move.

_How is it over?_

The room is growing darker by the minute, but he still can’t move.

_The world has no color anyway, with or without light. It’s better this way. I belong to the darkness. I made that choice fifteen years ago. Kou-san and I belong to different worlds. Kazu-nii and Ryuichi were right._

Kirishima squares his shoulders. There’s work he should have done before rushing home – work he neglected in his haste to see Kou. Worse, he didn’t even charge his phone. What if Asami needs him again?

Kirishima stands up and dresses for work. As he’s fixing his tie, he sees a black hair on the pillowcase. He reaches for it but ends up picking up the entire pillow instead.

It smells like Kou.

Kirishima pulls his face out of the pillow, sitting hard on the edge of the bed, clenching the pillow with both fists.

_It would have been better to never taste happiness than to have it yanked away like this._

He closes his eyes, willing himself to forget.

After a moment, he realizes his hands are aching. He opens his eyes to see that he’s torn the pillow open. A cloud of feathers is wafting through the air.

Kirishima shakes his head, grabs the vacuum, and cleans up his mess. He tosses the torn pillow in the garbage. As he gathers his things to leave for work, he glances around the bedroom one more time.

He sees the supplies on the nightstand. He snatches them up and tosses them in the trash.

_I should take this out now._

But it’s not the correct day for combustible trash. He ties off the bag and sets it on his balcony for now.

As he picks up his briefcase and heads out the door, he can feel his shoulders gradually relax.

_I just need to get back to my routine._

 

When he arrives at the office, Morita rushes over. “Is everything alright, fuku-shacho-san?”

“Of course,” Kirishima says. “You’ve been working hard all day. Why don’t you go home for the day? I can finish whatever’s left.”

“But what about your day off?”

“I’ve already taken enough time off. I’ll be in tomorrow morning as well.”

A dozen questions are dancing in Morita’s eyes, but he says only “Yes, fuku-shacho-san.”

 

Two hours later, Suoh comes into Kirishima’s office. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until Friday.”

“I’ve taken enough time off. I need to make sure the Suzuki situation is completely resolved.”

“We’ve already taken care of that.”

“I’m making sure there are no loose ends.” Kirishima turns his attention back to his computer.

“Did something happen with Motomi?”

Kirishima can feel the muscles of his jaw tighten, but he wills his face to remain neutral. “Nothing unusual. Why do you ask?”

Suoh eyes him suspiciously. “Did you get into an argument over who would top or something?”

Kirishima ignores him.

“Or maybe… you got cold feet?” Suoh guesses.

“If you’re done with the vulgar talk, prepare a report on Kodama’s infiltration of Suzuki.”

“It’s already in the works.”

“I want it by one a.m.,” Kirishima says coldly.

Suoh doesn’t answer. Instead, he turns towards the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket before he reaches it.

_He’s probably going to tell Asami-sama some stupid conjecture._ Kirishima sighs but remains focused on his work.

 

The next morning, Kirishima’s alarm goes off at nine o’clock. It takes him a moment to remember why he set it for then. _Might as well go into the office now that I’m up._

Morita’s eyebrows fly up when he sees him. “Fuku-shacho-san, you’re early today!”

“This is my usual arrival time,” Kirishima counters.

“Well, it was… until about two months ago,” Morita says.

“And it will be again starting today. I’ve been slacking off too much lately, setting a bad example.”

“Oh no, fuku-shacho-san. You would never slack off! Seeing you take a day off made the other employees feel like they could, too, and production has actually been _up_.” Morita searches his desk and pulls out a thin file. “I had noticed it and wanted to be sure my observations were correct, so I’d actually prepared this for you.”

Kirishima takes the report and glances at it. Morita’s conclusions appear to be correct: despite putting in fewer hours, the secretarial branch has been producing reports at a faster rate and making fewer errors. “Tell everyone to maintain their current schedules,” he orders Morita.

“Yes, fuku-shacho-san. But what about you?”

“It’s fine. I like to work. And I should work more hours than anyone else, right? I have more responsibilities.”

After providing the daily summary, Morita bows and leaves Kirishima’s office.

Kirishima works hard for the next hour until he hears the elevator ding. He wonders who’s there, since all the employees are already there, and it isn’t time for him to pick up Asami yet. He stands up.

He’s only taken two steps towards the door when Takaba comes striding in. The journalist says nothing, but his face indicates that he’s extremely angry.

Before Kirishima can register what’s happening, he feels the sudden bloom of pain on his jaw. His glasses are gone, so he can’t see very clearly, but he feels the industrial carpeting under his fingers and wonders briefly how he ended up on the floor.

He can make out a blurry outline of two figures, one restraining the other. Kirishima feels around on the floor for his glasses.

“Let go, bastard! I warned you that I would kick his ass if he hurt my friend!”

“What are you talking about?” Asami asks.

“That asshole dumped Kou last night!”

“Kou-san is the one who wanted to break up” slips out of Kirishima’s mouth before he can help it.

“Liar! He said _you_ dumped _him_!”

Kirishima finally finds his glasses and puts them on.

Asami is holding both of Takaba’s arms behind his back, while the journalist is squirming and kicking, trying to break free. Asami drags the young man out the door and to his own office.

Kirishima wonders briefly if he should follow them, or if that will just make the situation worse.

“Kei! In here!” Asami barks.

Kirishima grudgingly walks into the office. Asami has produced a pair of handcuffs and fastened one to Takaba’s wrist and the other to a bar connected to the wall next to the couch. Akihito is still kicking and punching at the air, and trying to pull the bar out of the wall.

“If you keep doing that, you’ll hurt your wrist, brat,” Asami says.

“Let me kick his ass!” Akihito screams.

“So you broke up with Motomi,” Asami says, looking at Kirishima for an explanation.

“Yes.” Kirishima keeps his business mask firmly in place. “I won’t let it affect my job.” He stares coldly at Takaba.

“I’m sorry for bringing him. He was acting relatively normal until we got off the elevator, though I _was_ wondering why he suddenly wanted to accompany me to work.” A faint look of disappointment flits across Asami’s face.

_Did he think the brat wanted to have office sex with him? Ryuichi is delusional._

Kirishima tries not to let the amusement of the thought show on his face. Apparently he fails, because Takaba starts screaming at him instead of Asami.

“What are you smirking at, bastard? I tried to warn Kou you were a cold-hearted bastard who was just using him –”

“Takaba. This is my place of business. If you cannot conduct yourself in an appropriate manner, you will be asked to leave,” Asami says in a clipped tone.

“Whatever, bastard! I shouldn’t have believed you when you said this asshole cares about Kou!”

Asami presses the intercom. “Suoh. I need two members of security to escort Takaba out of the building. Tell them to bring a gag. And use the private elevator. I don’t want anyone to hear him.”

“You’re kicking me out?!” Takaba asks incredulously.

“Be prepared for your punishment when I get home,” Asami says.

“What are you talking about, bastard? I _told_ you I’d kick Megane-san’s ass.”

“And _I_ told _you_ that if Motomi did something to Kirishima, you’d be punished for introducing them.”

Kirishima’s mouth drops slightly open. Apparently Asami wasn’t kidding about that.

Takaba’s mouth drops open all the way, before he closes it with a snap, stubbornly setting his jaw. “But Megane-san dumped Kou! Kou was up crying all night! His eyes are all red and puffy.”

“Nevertheless, Kirishima said Motomi dumped him. He has no reason to lie.”

“Neither does Kou!” Takaba cries.

“We’ll discuss this more at home,” Asami says icily as Suoh enters with another guard.

“I won’t say anything,” Akihito says, eying the dirty rag in Suoh’s hand.

Asami sighs and shakes his head at Suoh.

“But if you make a single peep…” Suoh leaves the rest of the threat off.

 

Once they’re gone, Asami raises his eyebrows at Kirishima. “You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Did Motomi really dump you?”

“He didn’t like how dangerous my job is.”

Asami’s eyebrows shoot up nearly into his hairline. “Did you tell him where you were going yesterday?”

“Of course not. Not the specifics. But… he saw my guns. He wouldn’t leave, and I had to put them on,” Kirishima explains.

Asami nods. “I warned you most people wouldn’t be as understanding as Takaba.”

Kirishima shrugs. “I know. Don’t worry. I won’t let it affect my work.”

“Go put some ice on your jaw,” Asami suggests.

As Kirishima walks to the kitchen for an icepack, he notices that most of the department is watching him – each looking away quickly as soon as he turns towards them. He can hear a buzz of whispering at his back, growing louder as he passes more of the office.

_How much did they hear?_

He’s never been one to bring his personal life to work before. Until Kou, he never _had_ a personal life.

_It’s fine. I just need to get back to normal._

Kirishima figures if he says it to himself enough times, maybe he’ll start to believe it. Until then, he’s going to ignore this icy hand that seems to be clenching his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It had to happen, but don't worry - it's not the end of their story.


	19. Spring Cleaning (Spring Green)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the break-up, Kirishima tries to go back to his old routine, but he discovers he's not the same person he was before he met Kou. Kirishima ends up finding comfort from an unexpected source. But what will happen the next time Kirishima and Kou talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads, gives kudos, and/or comments! You really keep me motivated, especially through the tough writing times.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Kodama: the yakuza group that infiltrated Suzuki Corporation  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)

“Look, Kou was crying his eyes out. And that unfeeling bastard was just working as usual. It’s obvious that he never cared about Kou,” Akihito argues.

“Kei is one of the most generous, caring people I know. He just doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve. He has his pride as a man,” Asami says.

Akihito is momentarily stunned by Asami actually talking about feelings, but he quickly recovers. “Kou has his pride, too! It was just shattered when Kirishima dumped him!”

“You don’t know what happened. It’s between them, and it should really stay that way.” Asami picks up his chopsticks to continue eating.

Akihito folds his arms across his chest. “Too bad. Kou needs a friend who understands, and I’m going to be there for him.”

“That’s fine, but I will not tolerate you attacking my first assistant again.”

“He had it coming. I warned him that if he hurt Kou –”

Asami pauses with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. “Once again, brat, you fail to recognize that when a relationship ends, _both_ parties end up hurt, and it’s not necessarily because either wanted to hurt the other.”

“Then why did Kirishima dump Kou?” Akihito pushes the food around on his plate with his chopsticks.

“You don’t know that’s what happened.”

Akihito slams his chopsticks on the table. “Yes, I do! Kou told me!”

“And you heard Kirishima say that Motomi was the one who wanted to break up.”

“Well then, one of them is lying, and Kou doesn’t lie.”

“Neither does Kei. Did it ever occur to you that they’re both telling the truth?” Asami takes another bite.

“How?” Akihito splutters.

“You should eat while the food is warm. If it was clear to Kirishima that Motomi wanted to break up, but Motomi wouldn’t actually say the words, Kirishima would say them. I told you, he has his pride as a man.”

Akihito gapes at Asami. Asami picks up a morsel of food and pops it into Akihito’s open mouth. Akihito swallows and says, “But Kou didn’t want to break up.”

“Neither did Kirishima. If that’s true, maybe they’ll work things out,” Asami says.

“Yeah,” Akihito says, picking up his chopsticks again.

“Don’t get involved,” Asami warns. “If they’re going to work things out, they need to figure it out for themselves.”

“But right now, they don’t even know that they both still want to be together!” Akihito cries.

“Then they’ll have to figure out a way to talk through it, if that’s what’s best.”

“What do you mean, ‘if that’s what’s best’? If they both care about each other –”

Asami cuts him off. “That’s why you’re still a brat. Even if two people care about each other, sometimes the best thing for them is to go their separate ways.”

“But –” Akihito starts.

Asami interrupts again. “You don’t know everything that went on between them. That’s why I said to stay out of it. If you try to meddle in other people’s business, you could lose a friend.”

Akihito huffs. “Kou and I have been friends forever. He’s like a brother to me. And I’m going to help him however I can.”

“Akihito…” Asami says in his warning tone.

A mulish look slips over Akihito’s face.

“There’s still the matter of your punishment,” Asami says, setting down his chopsticks on his empty plate.

“I didn’t do anything! And I’m still eating!” Akihito hastily shovels a few bites of his mostly untouched dinner into his mouth before Asami picks him up and carries him off to the secret room.

 

The next two weeks pass as uneventfully for Kirishima as his life did before meeting Kou, but somehow even though he keeps as busy as possible with work, he still feels the emptiness. He tries to work himself to exhaustion, but he still has trouble falling asleep when he finally crawls into bed each night. He wishes he still had the remaining pain pills from his arm injury.

On Sunday, Asami summons Kirishima to his office.

“Kei, you’re taking tomorrow off,” Asami says.

“I don’t need it,” Kirishima protests.

“Yes, you do. You’re driving Morita and the undersecretaries batty. Stop doing their work for them.”

“I told them they can have more time off,” Kirishima says defensively.

“They don’t need more time off. _You_ do. Have you been sleeping?”

“As much as I can,” Kirishima says, dodging the question.

“That bad, huh? You should see Kurebayashi again.”

“I don’t need to. I’m fine!” _I really am fine, too. I’ll get over this. I just need to get back to my usual routine. It’s enough for me._

“Then take tomorrow off. If you show up, you’re going straight to Kurebayashi’s office.”

“Fine.” Kirishima drops the reports in his arms on Asami’s desk and stalks out of the room without another word.

Later, when they get into the car to go home, Asami says, “Have a drink with me tonight.”

“Where?”

“Your place, if you don’t mind.”

“Then how will you get home?”

“Suoh will drive me.”

Kirishima is grateful that Suoh won’t be joining them for the drink. Suoh means well, but he’s been overbearing in his efforts to cheer Kirishima up, alternating between being overly solicitous, giving long diatribes about how Kirishima is better off without Kou, and trying to pretend the whole thing didn’t happen (but failing utterly by his constant worrying and hovering).

Asami, on the other hand, has been as matter-of-fact as ever, going about business as usual. Kirishima is grateful for it; he doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone else, and he’s not sure he ever will. Apparently, however, Asami’s patience has run out.

Kirishima sighs.

The rest of the ride is silent. When Kirishima parks in his assigned parking space, he heads straight for the elevator. Asami looks at him a little curiously, and it’s only after Kirishima performs his usual underbar through the railing that he realizes how weird it must look.

“You still doing that parkour shit?” Asami asks as he climbs over the railing to follow Kirishima.

“It’s not shit,” Kirishima retorts before he can bite it back.

“Are you still practicing it?” Asami amends in a conciliatory tone.

“I don’t know where to go,” Kirishima admits. Kou introduced him to all the parkour spots he knows, and while Kou tried to teach him how to observe the environment to identify his own spots when traveling, Kirishima can’t bring himself to just do parkour on his own – especially somewhere he’s not sure it’s allowed.

“You can train at the parkour gym with the security team,” Asami says.

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. He didn’t realize there was such a thing as a parkour gym, but now that he thinks about it, Suoh wouldn’t have the men training in public parks.

As they ride up the elevator, Asami texts on his phone. Kirishima assumes he’s telling Takaba he’ll be late, but when they arrive at Kirishima’s floor, Asami tells him the time and location of the training session the next day.

“Will Suoh be there?” Kirishima asks as he opens his door.

“No. He’ll be at Sion,” Asami replies, sounding slightly puzzled by the question until Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief. “Is he bugging you that badly?”

“He’s trying to be helpful,” Kirishima says, more to remind himself than to explain to Asami.

Asami pulls out a cigarette. “Mind if I smoke?” he asks.

“What about your bet with Takaba-kun?” Kirishima asks, startled, as he pulls out an ashtray from a kitchen cabinet.

“I won it yesterday,” Asami says.

“You haven’t smoked all day,” Kirishima observes.

Asami shrugs. “Takaba had a point; it’s definitely affected my fitness. It’s not a bad idea to cut back a bit, only smoke when I truly want to, rather than out of habit.”

Asami lights the cigarette and takes a long drag on it. Kirishima watches, mesmerized by the way the red color of the end intensifies as Asami inhales.

“What are you thinking about?” Asami asks.

“The way the fire burns the brightest and most intensely just before it turns to gray ash,” Kirishima murmurs absentmindedly.

“So your midlife crisis isn’t over,” Asami says.

“What?” Kirishima looks up. “What midlife crisis?” Then he remembers the conversation in which Asami asked if Kou was a midlife crisis, and his face falls. “No, Kou-san and I haven’t talked. It’s really over.”

Asami waves his hand. “Motomi was just a symptom, right? You wanted things to change. He might have been the catalyst, but once the fire’s going, it can still burn once you take the catalyst away.” He waves his cigarette, and the end glows brighter.

“You’re not usually one to speak in metaphors,” Kirishima says, dodging the indirect question.

“You started it,” Asami retorts. “Anyway, go to the parkour training tomorrow. But don’t take it seriously – you don’t have to be the boss. Just enjoy yourself. Remember, it’s your day off.”

“I will,” Kirishima says. A peculiar feeling comes over him, and it takes a moment for him to recognize it as excitement. _How did Asami-sama know parkour is just what I needed?_

Asami doesn’t press the issue of Kirishima’s ‘midlife crisis,’ and Kirishima pushes it out of his mind. _I’m happy with my life the way it is. I don’t need anything else._

Asami has never been a man to feel the need to fill silence with endless prattle, and Kirishima’s grateful for it. They drink two glasses of scotch in companionable silence before Asami calls Suoh to come pick him up.

“Kurebayashi’s door is always open to you. She won’t tell me what goes on,” Asami says as he puts on his shoes.

“I’m fine,” Kirishima says for what feels like the hundredth time in the past two weeks.

Suoh knocks on the door, and Kirishima braces himself for the inevitable “How are you, Kei?”

“I’m fine,” Kirishima says through gritted teeth.

Suoh feels Kirishima’s forehead with the back of his hand. “Are you sure? You look pale. Are you getting sick?”

Kirishima pushes Suoh’s hand away. “I’m fine, Kazu-nii. Stop being such a worrywart.”

“You haven’t been eating or sleeping much,” Suoh notes.

“I eat plenty,” Kirishima retorts, which is true if he’s referring to sating his appetite. He simply hasn’t had much of an appetite lately.

“Kei –” Suoh starts, but Asami interrupts.

“That’s enough, Kazumi. He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.”

Kirishima shoots Asami a grateful look.

Asami gives him a single firm pat on the shoulder as he heads out the door. “Enjoy your day off tomorrow, Kei.”

“Thanks, Ryuichi,” Kirishima says quietly. He locks the door behind them and immediately feels the emptiness of his apartment. As he prepares for bed, he checks his phone, but he has no texts. Kou somehow managed to worm his way into every part of Kirishima’s daily routine. He can’t even brush his teeth without noticing there’s only one toothbrush in the bathroom now. He sighs and slips under the covers, but a smile briefly flits across his face as he wonders what the parkour gym will be like tomorrow.

_I wonder if Kou-san has ever been to a parkour gym._

Kirishima is halfway through typing a text before he remembers that they’ve broken up. His finger hovers over the “delete contact” button, but he can’t bring himself to press it.

_Maybe Kou-san will change his mind._

 

When Kirishima walks into the locker room of the parkour gym, he nearly turns around and walks back out. As soon as he enters, all conversation dies away, and the men bow, murmuring “Fuku-shacho-san.”

Kirishima forces a smile. “Relax. I’m just here to work out with you all today. I’m not here to evaluate you. I’m sure I’ll be learning more from you than the other way around.”

He’s already dressed in his gym shorts and t-shirt, so he pulls out his water bottle and stows his gym bag.

The gym instructor, Tokawa, has set up an obstacle course for them to warm up on. The starting point is on top of a wall. There’s a set of bars leading away from the wall, three bars set six feet apart. Beyond the bars, there are several walls creating a kind of maze of varying levels. The end point is on the other side of one of the walls that juts out. The most direct way would be to climb over the wall, but it could be slower than going around it – except that there are a series of boxes and overhanging obstacles that would slow you down going that way. Then just before the finish there’s another wall with a small rectangular hole in it with a bar above it, giving you the option to go through the hole or around the wall over various obstacles again.

“Newbie first!” Tokawa calls, so Kirishima steps up to the start.

“Any checkpoints or restrictions?” Kirishima asks once he’s understood the starting and ending points.

Tokawa raises his eyebrows. “No. On your mark. Get set. Go!”

Kirishima takes off. He grabs onto the first bar to swing down from the wall, but he ignores the next two bars, knowing running will be faster than lachés. Since climbing isn’t his strong point, he goes around to the side of the wall, jumping onto the first box, from there onto the top of the first bar, and then onto the wall. He leaps off the other end of the wall, barely registering the gasps of the others as he prepares for the landing. He lands as softly as possible, transferring his vertical movement into horizontal movement by diving into a roll. He performs an underbar to cut through the hole in the next wall to reach the end.

“Sixteen point five. Not bad!” Tokawa calls out.

Several guards start clapping. “What was that last move through the hole?” one of them calls out.

Kirishima shrugs. “I was told it’s an underbar,” he says sheepishly. _Are they patronizing me? These guys are way more athletic than I am._

“I haven’t taught these guys underbars yet,” Tokawa explains. “And they don’t practice their rolls enough, either.” He glares at the others, who look a little sheepish.

“I can’t believe you just leapt off that fifteen-foot wall like that!” Yoneda, Akihito’s main bodyguard, says.

Kirishima shrugs. “You have to do it often to keep up with Takaba-kun, right?”

Yoneda shrugs. “When I _have_ to, yeah… But you just went for it!”

“Yoneda, you’re next!” Tokawa barks.

Yoneda leaps from the top onto the bars, but he lachés across the bars, spinning on the last one so that he’s on top of it. From the top, he leaps across the gap, catching the top of the wall and climbing up. He follows Kirishima’s lead, leaping off the top of the wall, but instead of rolling, he taps his hands down and then hops to get his feet back under him.

He tries to copy Kirishima’s underbar, but his shins slam into the ledge under the hole. He grunts but pulls his feet up slowly, sliding ungracefully through the hole.

“Sixteen point oh,” Tokawa calls.

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. Yoneda should have had a much better time than him. _Kou-san would have been under twelve seconds._

After everyone else tries the route, they go into a proper warm-up. Tokawa stands next to Kirishima, talking with him between calling out the various warm-up moves.

“Where have you trained before?” Tokawa asks.

Kirishima shrugs. “Just with a friend.”

“Outside?”

“Yeah.”

“What spots?”

“Mostly in Musashino,” Kirishima says vaguely.

“I know a guy who trains over there, at the art university,” Tokawa says. Kirishima stiffens, but Tokawa changes the subject, asking “How long have you been tracing?”

“A couple of months.”

Tokawa whistles. “You learned a lot. You have nice flow.”

“Thanks. My friend always makes me go first to develop my eye.”

“That’s a good strategy. I try to change things up as much as I can here, but with so many guys training at once, they inevitably spend most of their time copying the route of the guy in front of them and rarely have to choose their own route.”

Kirishima nods. “I noticed that in the warm-up.” Most of the security team had copied Yoneda’s route as much as they were able to, only varying it when they couldn’t physically perform one of his moves.

After their warm-up, Tokawa asks each of the men how much they think they can improve over their original time on the course.

Kirishima guesses between one and two seconds, and Tokawa nods, jotting it down.

Yoneda also says two seconds, but Tokawa shakes his head at him. “What do you think, Kirishima-san?”

Kirishima is startled that Tokawa asked his opinion, but he says hesitantly, “He should easily make it in under thirteen. Under twelve if he can get that underbar down.”

Tokawa says, “Yep. Your goal is under thirteen, Yoneda.”

Yoneda raises his eyebrows but shrugs.

After everyone has their goals for the session, Tokawa shows them video footage of each part of the course. His software timed how long it took each person to reach various transition points in the course, and the fastest and slowest runs over each section are shown.

Kirishima is surprised to discover he had the fastest time on the first section (from the start through the bars). The slowest time belongs to Saji, a guard who lachéd like Yoneda, but then hopped down off the bars to get to the wall instead of reaching the top from the bars. Saji was slowed down even more by the fact that it took him two to three swings on each bar to gain enough momentum to jump to the next one.

“I guess I’m taking out the bars from my run,” Saji says after much ribbing. “Then again, if I don’t practice them, I won’t get better at them.”

“Very true,” Tokawa acknowledges. “There’s a balance between being the most efficient in the current run and working on your weak areas so you can be more efficient in your _next_ run.”

The next segment is the transition from the bars to the top of the wall. Kirishima has the slowest time this time. “I can’t do wall runs yet, and I knew I couldn’t make the jump from the bars to the top of the wall,” he explains.

“It’s good to know your limitations, but you have the speed and technique to learn the wall run,” Tokawa says.

Yoneda has the fastest time from the first wall to the wall with the hole, because he was the only one who managed to land without rolling.

“It takes conditioning to take a high landing. Don’t skip the roll to shave off fractions of a second until you’re confident you don’t need it,” Tokawa warns the rest.

Kirishima is not surprised to find that he had the fastest time getting through the hole to reach the end of the course since the others’ attempts at underbars were even worse than Yoneda’s.

“That’s a textbook underbar,” Tokawa says, slowing the video of Kirishima down and explaining the technique to the others. “I thought you said you’d only been tracing for two months. When did you learn the underbar?”

Kirishima shrugs, blushing at the attention. “I only learned it three weeks ago, but I practice it every day going to and from my car in the parking garage at my apartment.”

Some of the others laugh.

“I have a lousy parking space. It saves valuable time,” Kirishima explains, which just makes them laugh harder.

Kirishima blushes even redder, but they move on. Before they try running the course again, Tokawa reviews three techniques: lachés, wall runs, and underbars. Those who already have a technique down practice working on whatever they want while the lesson is going on. Some practice on the course, but others work in different areas of the gym.

Kirishima attends the first two technique reviews. He notices out of the corner of his eye that Yoneda is practicing precisions and long leaps across the gaps between various walls. _I guess he needs that skill the most to chase Takaba over rooftops._

Tokawa’s instructions for lachés are similar to Kou’s. Kirishima just hasn’t had much practice with them because there’s only one good outdoor spot for practicing them, and there’s not much else near the spot for working on other techniques.

Kirishima manages to master the wall run fairly quickly. He works on it a few times, practicing it on the course while everyone else learns the underbar. After his third successful attempt, he feels confident he can do it while running the course, so he heads back over to the laché bars.

Before he can reach the bars, however, Tokawa calls him over to a different set of bars. “Kirishima-san, can you show us the underbar again?”

Kirishima obliges, sliding between the rungs of a ladder leading to the bars.

“Thanks, you can go back to your training,” Tokawa says.

Kirishima practices lachés but watches curiously as Tokawa strings a piece of painter’s tape between the two support poles underneath a bar. He understands when the men start practicing and a few of them mess up: the tape easily gives way, causing no injury. Kirishima remembers the scrapes and bruises he got on his back and legs practicing the technique and thinks maybe there’s something to be said for learning in a gym.

After an hour of lessons and practice, the men gather to attempt the course a final time. Kirishima manages to make the wall run and shaves 2.5 seconds off his time. Yoneda makes the underbar and just manages Kirishima’s prediction of “under twelve” with an 11.9.

“Thanks, fuku-shacho-san,” Yoneda says after his run. “I might not have pushed so hard if you hadn’t given me such a difficult goal.”

Kirishima nods.

After everyone has beaten their original times, Saji calls out, “Let’s see you do it, Tokawa-san!”

Tokawa jumps from the wall to the top of the bars, sprinting along the side bar that connects them as if he were running on the ground. He leaps from it to the other wall, landing on top of it. After a single step, he leaps onto the taller wall with the hole, climbing up after he catches the top edge. He leaps off that wall and rolls into the finish.

“Nine point six,” Yoneda calls as all the men burst into applause.

“If I could do an underbar as well as Kirishima-san, it would have been even faster,” Tokawa says, not even out of breath.

After their runs, they go through conditioning and strength training for another half hour before Tokawa ends the session with stretching and mobility exercises.

As the men head to the locker room, Tokawa calls Kirishima aside.

“How was your first day in the gym?” Tokawa asks.

“It was good. Thanks for letting me train,” Kirishima says, grinning.

“You’ve got good technique, and you pick things up quickly.”

Kirishima blushes. “I had a good teacher. I’m actually very clumsy.”

“Who did you learn from again? I know a lot of the guys in the community.”

Kirishima steels himself as he says, “Motomi Kou.”

“I thought it might be him! Kou’s really skilled, and he’s good at breaking down techniques into smaller pieces. I tried to recruit him as a teacher when I opened the gym, but he said he didn’t have time on top of his day job.”

Kirishima nods.

“What is he up to these days?”

Kirishima freezes. How is he supposed to answer that? The news about the fellowship is Kou’s to tell, and anyway, Kirishima doesn’t even know what Kou’s final decision about it was.

“Still working hard in graphic design,” he hedges. “I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks. We’re both busy.”

“I hear you,” Tokawa says. “Well, come back and train with us whenever you can. Suoh-san gave you the schedule, right?”

Kirishima nods. “Thanks.”

When he heads into the locker room this time, the conversation continues as normal. It’s the first time subordinates haven’t gotten tenser when Kirishima enters a room, and he somehow feels his shoulder growing even more relaxed than they were from the workout and stretching.

“How about yakiniku?” Yoneda calls out. Then he notices Kirishima. “Oh, fuku-shacho-san, we usually go out to eat after Tokawa-san puts us through our paces. Please join us.”

“Oh, that’s alright, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Kirishima says.

Several of the others chime in inviting him so enthusiastically that Kirishima gets the feeling it’s not just them being polite.

“Alright,” he agrees. “Where are we going?”

“Is there somewhere you’d like to go?” Yoneda asks doubtfully.

“You said yakiniku, right?” Kirishima says. “Is there somewhere nearby? Wherever you usually go is fine.”

“If you’re sure…” Yoneda says.

_I’m not a food snob like Asami-sama… but I guess I can’t say that aloud._ Kou often took Kirishima to cheaper restaurants, and the food was usually delicious, if perhaps not as nutritionally balanced as Kirishima usually strives for. But after a strenuous workout, counting calories isn’t important.

 

At the yakiniku place, the men start talking about parkour again while waiting for their meat to cook.

Yoneda says, “You said you’ve been training parkour for a couple of months, fuku-shacho-san. Where have you been practicing?”

“Just with a friend,” Kirishima says vaguely.

“Outside?” Yoneda asks.

Kirishima nods.

“Tell us some good spots!” Saji cries. “I’m sick of practicing in the gym.”

Kirishima shrugs. “My friend lives in Musashino, so most of the spots I know are around there.”

“That’s okay,” one of the other men says.

Kirishima tells them about the few spots Kou showed him closer to downtown.

“What about Musashino?” Yoneda asks.

Kirishima hesitates. _Takaba will throw a tantrum if he runs into his guards at his parkour spots... and he’ll know who told them._

“Well?”

But if Kirishima _doesn’t_ tell the guards, he’ll have to explain that his ‘friend’ is Takaba’s friend… which will be rather awkward.

“There are a lot of good spots around the universities there,” he finally mumbles vaguely.

Yoneda nods. “Yeah, Tokawa-san said that universities often make great parkour spots.”

“We should go to one!” Saji cries.

The guys start chattering about where they should go and figuring out who will have the same day off to train together.

As Saji reaches for some meat that’s finished cooking, he stops and rubs his shoulder. “Man, I don’t think I did that roll right. It was my first time doing one as a transition from a move.”

“Me, too,” several of the other guys say.

“Once I saw fuku-shacho-san do it, I decided to go for it, but I guess I needed more practice,” Saji says.

Kirishima tries not to look like he’s insulted, but Saji quickly adds, “No offense, fuku-shacho-san. I was impressed and felt I needed to step up my game.”

“You said you practiced outside, right? Do you do rolls on pavement?” a guard named Sakuragi asks Kirishima.

Kirishima shrugs. “I have, once.” A few of the others whistle, and Kirishima feels he ought to explain. “I misjudged a leap and had to bail so I didn’t faceplant into a column. I didn’t really have a choice.”

The others share their own stories of bails and crash landings. Eventually, the talk comes back around to practicing outside.

“You should come with us when you can, fuku-shacho-san,” Saji says.

“I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your fun,” Kirishima says.

“No way! You’ve got way more experience outside than anyone else – even Yoneda,” Sakuragi says. “Please teach us, fuku-shacho-senpai!”

“I’ve only been practicing parkour a couple of months,” Kirishima reminds them.

“That’s as long as we have,” Saji reminds him. “If you don’t want to, it’s fine, but if you ever want to train and your friend can’t make it, we’d love to train with you again.”

“Are you on Twitter?” Sakuragi asks. “We coordinate this kind of stuff there. Someone will post a time and place for training, and whoever can make it will show up there.”

At the guards’ insistence, Kirishima hands over his cell phone and they set up a Twitter account for him.

“There. Now you’ll know. Just make it when you can, if you want to.”

 

As Kirishima heads back home, a feeling of contentment settles over him. _Maybe things don’t have to go back to_ exactly _the way they were before._

Once he gets home, though, he doesn’t know what to do with the rest of his day off. He starts giving his apartment a spring cleaning, even though it isn’t spring.

As he’s cleaning the back of his washing machine, he remembers how much fun he had at the parkour gym and picks up his phone. Halfway through composing the text to Kou, he remembers once again that they’ve broken up.

_Kei, you idiot. That’s the whole reason you went to the parkour gym in the first place!_

But after erasing the text, Kirishima’s fingers hover over the digital keyboard.

_Does breaking up mean we can never talk ever again? I really like Kou-san, even if he just wants to be friends._ Does _he want to be friends?_

Kirishima types, erases, types some more, erases again… It takes him thirty minutes, but he finally has a text that he thinks strikes the right balance.

_Hi, Kou-san. I went to a parkour gym today, and it made me think of you. Hope you’re doing well._

After sending the message, Kirishima clutches his phone for a few seconds, wondering if he made a mistake. After a few minutes, he goes back to his cleaning.

Ten minutes later, his phone beeps, indicating an incoming text, and he pulls it out of his pocket with shaky fingers, leaning against the wall for support.

_I’m sorry, Kei-san, but I’m really hurting right now. Maybe someday we can be friends, but I need some time to heal first._

Kirishima drops the phone and slides down the wall, burying his face in his hands.

You _need time to heal? Weren’t you the one who wanted to break up in the first place?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the characters took it in a slightly different direction than I expected (which at this point should be the only thing I expect). Sorry to those who don't like the parkour scenes, but I enjoy writing them. I don't think there will be too many more of them, but I can't make any promises since the characters are in control.


	20. Unsolicited Advice (Pearl Gray)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The break-up continues to shake Kirishima's confidence. Will advice from Suoh and one of Akihito's guards help him or drive him further into self-doubt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads, gives kudos, and/or comments! You really keep me motivated, especially through the tough writing times.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Kodama: the yakuza group that infiltrated Suzuki Corporation  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> tatemae: the behavior and opinions one presents in public  
> honne: one's true feelings  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> senmu: Suoh's job title

_Kirishima hears several sets of footsteps rapidly approaching. He searches wildly for a hiding spot and notices the bottom of the fire escape ladder behind the bushes next to the incinerator. He flips over the empty trashcan, climbs on top of it, and manages to leap up to the second rung. As he pulls his feet up to the first rung, the trashcan tips over, falling behind the bushes. Kirishima squirms and wriggles, finally managing to get one hand on the next rung. Now that his feet can support him better, he quickly climbs the ladder to the roof._

_“Where’s that geeky four-eyed brown-noser?” Yamaguchi asks, kicking at a crumpled piece of paper next to the incinerator._

_Kirishima quietly crawls onto the roof, turning around and peering back over the ladder._

_“I still don’t think he’s the one who told Tachibana-sensei,” Togawa says. “He didn’t tell him when he caught us with the cigarettes.”_

_“How else did Tachibana know we snuck out of the dorms?” Yamaguchi retorts. “No one else would have had the balls to rat us out.”_

_“But did Kirishima-kun even know about it?” Togawa asks. “He was asleep when I got back last night.”_

_“They sneaked out of the dorm? Are they idiots?” Kirishima whispers to himself._

_“If they don’t know how to avoid the motion-sensor cameras, they are,” a voice says from beside him._

_Kirishima jumps, and his glasses nearly slip off his face towards the ground below. He turns and sees a tall, lanky boy languidly leaning against the low wall edging the roof. “Asami-senpai,” Kirishima breathes._

_“I don’t know you,” Asami says in reply. “Why_ would _I know a useless dork like you that nobody likes? Get off my roof.”_

_“Yeah, go die. No one likes you anyway,” Kou says._

_Kirishima feels hands pushing him, and before he knows it, the ground is racing towards him._

He wakes up with a start. _Kou-san never said that. And that’s not what Asami-sama said, either._

Well, Asami did say that he didn’t know Kirishima – but he was merely surprised because very few students hadn’t stopped by Asami’s room to get their uniforms altered by that point in the school year.

_The part about being a useless dork that nobody likes was true. Still is._

Kirishima shakes his head.

_I’m not useless._

Of course he’s not useless. He learned long ago that when people need you, they tolerate you.

_I never made Kou-san need me._

Kirishima reminds himself that he doesn’t need anyone, either. It takes a long time to fall back asleep.

 

Over the next few days, Kirishima makes a concerted effort to return to the work schedule he kept while he was dating Kou. He heads to the gym before and after work – the regular gym. He finds that if he runs fast enough and hard enough on the treadmill, he’s able to tire himself out enough to fall asleep, especially if he lifts weights before work.

But somehow, working out inside a gym just doesn’t have the same satisfaction as it does outside, whether it’s hiking, running, or parkour. Kirishima tries switching things up, running in parks before work and lifting weights after work, but he finds it hard to fall asleep after strength training.

During lunch one day, Suoh stops by Kirishima’s office, closing the door behind him. “You didn’t like the parkour gym?” he asks.

Kirishima looks up, surprised. “I did,” he says. “Tokawa-san is a good instructor.”

“Were my guys too forward and impolite?”

“Not at all.”

“So why haven’t you been back?”

Kirishima shrugs. “I didn’t really fit in. I don’t want to make the guys feel uncomfortable.”

“Where are you getting that from?” Suoh asks.

“It’s obvious. The gym is a time for them to bond and let off some steam. They can’t do that in front of top management.”

“They’re not there to ‘let off some steam’; it’s mandatory training for their job. Besides, they knew you were simply there to train yourself. You didn’t act like management.”

“Well, of course they’d show tatemae, but their honne is obvious,” Kirishima says.

Suoh rolls his eyes. “You suck at figuring out honne. You always assume the worst of people so you won’t get hurt, but you just end up hurting yourself, anyway.”

Kirishima blinks at him. “What do you mean?”

Suoh makes a vague gesture. “Like this parkour thing. You _want_ to train at the gym again, right?” He looks at Kirishima expectantly, so Kirishima reluctantly nods. “And you _want_ to go train outside with my guys, right?”

Kirishima nods again.

“So do it. Stop holding yourself back. They wouldn’t have helped you create a Twitter account if they didn’t really mean it. Tatemae would have been inviting you but not creating a way for you to know when and where they would train.”

Kirishima blinks at Suoh.

Suoh sighs. “The same thing happened with Motomi, right? You didn’t really want to break up with him.”

Kirishima looks away. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Ryuichi told me you just assumed Motomi wanted to break up with you, so you said it first.”

“Kou-san made it pretty clear!” Kirishima bursts out. “And he just reinforced it when I tried to text him a few days ago.”

Suoh snatches Kirishima’s phone off his desk.

“It’s locked,” Kirishima points out.

Suoh tries guessing Kirishima’s PIN.

“After three wrong guesses, the phone deletes itself,” Kirishima reminds him.

“It’s backed up. Anyway, it won’t take me three,” Suoh says triumphantly as his second guess grants him access to the phone. “You need to change your PIN.”

“Kazu-nii, give it back!” Kirishima says, jumping up and trying to grab the phone away from Suoh.

Suoh turns his back to Kirishima and holds the phone out above his head. He opens Kirishima’s text history with Kou and sees the most recent message. As he looks over at Kirishima, Kirishima takes the phone back.

“How does ‘I’m really hurting right now’ indicate to you that he wanted to break up?” Suoh asks.

“He was just being polite, making an excuse for why he doesn’t want to stay in touch with me.”

“Then why did he say that maybe someday you could be friends?”

“He was just being polite!” Kirishima doesn’t need salt thrown into his open wound.

Suoh sighs. He says slowly, as if speaking to a small child, “Or _maybe_ he’s actually hurt because he _didn’t_ want to break up, and maybe someday after he’s gotten over that hurt, he’d like to have you in his life again.”

“He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be with me anymore,” Kirishima says stubbornly.

“How?” Suoh challenges.

Kirishima looks away. _I don’t want to think about it more than I have to._ “He just did, okay?”

Suoh stares at Kirishima for several moments, but Kirishima won’t say anything more about it. Finally, Suoh sighs. “You’re always looking for signs that people don’t like you. I know you had some issues when you were a kid with your classmates, but it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“I didn’t want to break up with Kou-san,” Kirishima says quietly.

“I know you didn’t.” Suoh clears his throat. “Well, my guys really want to practice parkour with you, so if you’re interested, get on your Twitter account and make it happen. And you have the gym schedule.” He leaves Kirishima’s office, closing the door behind him.

 

Two days later, Kirishima nervously arrives at the giant Gundam in Odaiba. He walks slowly around it until he hears someone call “Fuku-shacho-san!”

Kirishima turns, and Yoneda is smiling and waving at him. A couple of heads look curiously at the pair dressed in gym clothes. “Since we’re off the clock, why don’t you call me Kirishima?” Kirishima suggests.

Yoneda looks doubtful, but he says, “Yes, Kirishima-fuku-I-mean-san.”

Kirishima chuckles as Yoneda blushes. Kirishima glances around. “Where are the others?”

“Takaba-sama had a dangerous assignment, so both Saji and Sakuragi had to work. It looks like it’s just us today.”

“Oh.”

Yoneda glances around. “There are a lot of people, and I don’t really see anything to climb. Except for the Gundam, but somehow I don’t think security would like that.”

“They wouldn’t,” Kirishima agrees. “Let’s walk into the park away from the shops a bit. And we should check in the parking garages, too.”

As they walk through the park, Kirishima points out various areas that would be good for practicing one or two moves, but they don’t stop at any of them. After the third one, Yoneda asks, “Should we do the moves we can?”

“I’m sure there’s a better spot,” Kirishima says. “We just have to find it.”

They finally come across an area near the amusement park that looks promising. Kirishima leads Yoneda down some steps from the promenade.

“Here.”

“Here?” Yoneda looks around skeptically. He sees a simple flight of stairs leading down to a busy road, lined on each side by a handrail. “We could do precisions from one rail to another, I guess… but they’re pretty close together, and anyway, aren’t they sloped too steep?”

Kirishima points up at the wall supporting the promenade (which extends into a bridge over the road below). “We can practice wall runs and climbs on that. As you go down the hill, you can make the wall run bigger, so you can measure your progress. There’s that little ventilation hut that you can use to practice precisions and cat leaps from the handrails on the stairs to the promenade, and see down there? There’s a fence leading to underneath the bridge, but I bet there’s some stuff we can do there – gate vaults, if nothing else. Anyway, we can practice vaults and underbars on the stair railing, too. We’ll have to see what the underside of the bridge looks like to see if we can practice any brachial movements.”

“Wow,” Yoneda says. “I didn’t realize we could do all that. I guess I got spoiled at the gym and was looking for something like that.”

Kirishima laughs. “You’re not going to find a lot of places with as many obstacles as the gym. Maybe a back alley somewhere, if you have to duck laundry lines and hurdle trash cans.”

Yoneda laughs, too. They start practicing. Yoneda hasn’t learned the gate vault yet, so Kirishima teaches it to him.

“I’m not very good at it,” Kirishima apologizes.

“You’re good at breaking it down,” Yoneda says after successfully practicing it over the stair railing. “You can do it on the fence, too?”

“I had a good teacher. _I_ can’t, but I bet you can,” Kirishima says. “Just remember to orient your hands how you want them to be when you land. Start on the other side, and I’ll spot your landing.”

Yoneda climbs the fence. Once over it, he pulls himself up to the top and reaches down, grabbing the fence on the opposite side. “Is this right?”

“Looks right,” Kirishima says. “Remember, if you have to bail, just let go, and I’ll guide your hips down.”

“Got it. Ready? On the count of three.” Yoneda counts down and performs the gate vault flawlessly, landing on his feet next to Kirishima. “Awesome! I always wondered how Takaba-sama did that so easily.”

“He’s hard to keep up with, huh?” Kirishima asks.

“Yeah. It’s frustrating because just when you think he’s given up on trying to shake you, he manages to give you the slip.”

Kirishima nods. He’s been there. Not that he’s ever been able to keep up with Akihito on foot.

Yoneda helps Kirishima work on his wall run, and Kirishima increases the height he can climb by two feet. After that, Kirishima works on his precisions and vaults while Yoneda works on his underbar.

When they’ve done everything either can think to do at the spot, they look at the underside of the bridge, which is covered with rectangular grills of narrowly spaced bars. Yoneda starts to do a wall run to jump up and grab one of the bars, but Kirishima calls, “Wait!”

Yoneda comes back down. “What?”

“What if they’re just decorative and can’t support your weight? And they look kind of rusty; they could have sharp edges.”

“Good point,” Yoneda says. “How do we find out?”

Kirishima frowns. “I don’t know. It’s pretty high. Can you hold onto the top of that column and shimmy across the ledge until you’re under the grill?”

“No problem,” Yoneda says. When he finally grabs one of the bars, he calls down, “No good. They’re really rusty, and there are sharp parts. They’d tear our hands up.”

“We could go back and try one of those arches we saw earlier,” Kirishima says doubtfully. The arches are small, but they have several slats, making it easy to practice small brachial movements.

“I thought I saw some walls across the river,” Yoneda says. “Let’s explore a little more.”

As they cross the bridge, Yoneda falls quiet. Kirishima searches for something to say, feeling more and more foolish as time elapses.

Finally, Yoneda breaks the silence. “Senmu-san said that you were the one who told him about parkour.”

“That’s right. When Kou-san –” Kirishima stops abruptly. “When my friend showed me parkour, I thought it could be a useful skill, especially for those assigned to Takaba-kun.”

“By ‘Kou-san,’ you mean Motomi Kou-san, Takaba-sama’s friend, right?”

“That’s right,” Kirishima says, racking his brain for a quick subject change, but his mind is blank.

“I was guarding Takaba-sama on the day you met up to do parkour in Musashino a few weeks ago.”

“Oh.” Kirishima blinks as he feels his face heat up. _Of course Takaba’s guards must have been watching him – Asami-sama never dismissed them._ “I never saw you.”

Yoneda grins. “Sometimes it’s easier to guard Takaba-sama if you pretend he’s given you the slip. It doesn’t always work because he knows who we are.”

Kirishima chuckles. “I could see that.” He breathes a silent sigh of relief that they’ve managed to change the topic.

But Yoneda says, “About Motomi-san… Sorry, I’m probably overstepping my bounds here…”

Kirishima doesn’t say anything, hoping that Yoneda will take the hint.

But Yoneda presses on. “I – uh – I was guarding Takaba-sama the night he went over to Motomi-san’s after your… break-up –” Yoneda turns a little pink himself and glances over at Kirishima, but Kirishima tries to put his business mask on. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing. And they fought last night, and I couldn’t help overhearing _that_.” Yoneda glances over at Kirishima again. “I’m sorry, it’s just that Motomi-san’s walls are really thin, so even though I was _trying_ not to listen…”

“I know,” Kirishima says, hoping Yoneda will just come out with whatever he wants to say. Despite his best efforts, Kirishima can feel himself turning pink around the edges.

“Anyway… from what I heard, Motomi-san definitely didn’t want to break up with you.” Yoneda shrugs. “If you need someone to talk about it with, I’m here to listen, but if you don’t want to, I understand. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but I thought you might want to know.”

When Yoneda’s done, the silence grows as Kirishima tries to figure out what he should say. What ends up coming out of his mouth is “Why are you telling me this?”

 “You’ve both looked so miserable lately…” Yoneda explains. “About a month ago, I had a misunderstanding with my long-distance girlfriend thanks to a picture posted by one of the guys on Twitter, and we nearly broke up over it. I got stubborn about it, hurt that she didn’t trust me, but Sakuragi knocked some sense into me and helped me patch things up. At the time, I was miffed that he was butting into my business, but now I’m really grateful.”

“I look miserable?” Kirishima asks, surprised. _I thought I was doing okay._

“Kind of,” Yoneda says. “I mean, you’re putting on a brave face for the world, but when you get lost in your thoughts, you look really down. And Motomi-san… Well, he’s not putting on a brave face, at least not in front of Takaba-sama.”

“Maybe Kou-san _didn’t_ want to break up,” Kirishima mutters, considering the possibility seriously for the first time, “but… he said he couldn’t deal with my job.”

Yoneda nods. “I’ve had arguments with my girlfriend about that, too. The odd hours… The time I injured my arm… The fact that I can’t tell her too much about it…”

“How have you dealt with that?” Kirishima asks. The only people he feels he can talk to about this kind of thing are Asami and Suoh. But Suoh has no interest in serious relationships, and he teases Kirishima too much. And even though Asami has offered advice, Kirishima’s not really interested in the same kind of lopsided relationship Asami has with Akihito. _If Yoneda-san is offering… I really_ could _use some advice._

Yoneda shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s an ongoing thing. The important thing is to really _talk_ about it, you know? Ask her what exactly she doesn’t like, try to help her understand how important my job is to me, help assuage her worries however I can. And don’t rush things.”

“Rush things?” Kirishima asks.

“When I took the job at Sion, we spent some time talking about the logistics and things. She’s not a big fan of Tokyo, but she’s also never lived here. And who knew how I was going to like it? So instead of breaking up just because I was moving away for a job, we decided to try long-distance. And even though it’s hard with my schedule and the long-distance thing, we can’t really decide if my schedule is too much until we’re living in the same city.”

“Is she moving to Tokyo?”

“Not right now. Her grandfather is very ill, and she’s helping out with his care.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Kirishima murmurs.

“These are the walls I saw from across the water,” Yoneda says, leading the way underneath the bridge on the opposite bank.

“Wow, this is much better than the other spot,” Kirishima says. “I guess we stopped too soon.”

“I wanted to stop even sooner,” Yoneda reminds him. “Anyway, we wouldn’t be able to do gate vaults and underbars here.”

The two of them practice on the walls. Their session is cut short after fifteen minutes when a security guard for the hotel asks them to move along so they can set up for a wedding.

As they head back towards the station, Yoneda says, “The only thing we didn’t get to practice was brachial movements.”

“I only know of one okay spot for that, and it’s not near anything else,” Kirishima says. “Maybe Tokawa-san knows a place.”

As they pass the amusement park, Yoneda looks longingly at the Ferris wheel. “I bet _that_ would be fun to climb.”

Kirishima looks up at it. “Maybe. As long as it wasn’t spinning or rocking.”

A security guard looks at them suspiciously, and they both crack up as they start walking again.

“I bet _someone’s_ climbed it before,” Yoneda mutters.

Kirishima chuckles. “Probably.”

At the same time, they both say, “Do you think Takaba-” Yoneda adds a “-sama” to the end of his.

“You could ask him,” Kirishima says.

Yoneda shakes his way. “No way. I’m not giving him any ideas.”

Kirishima imagines just how reckless the photographer would be on the Ferris wheel. “That’s probably wise.”

When they reach the station, Kirishima clears his throat and says, “Thanks for… earlier. Your advice. It was really helpful.”

Yoneda grins. “No problem. I hope things work out for you.”

 

When Kirishima gets home, he decides to text Kou one more time. After ten minutes of typing and erasing, he takes a deep breath. _I need to be more honest._ He quickly types a message and hits send before he can overthink it. After it’s sent, he reads it over:

_I’m really hurting, too, and I miss you. I didn’t want to break up, but I thought you did. Can we talk?_

He’s barely finished reading it when a reply comes through.

_Okay. I’ve got a huge work deadline tomorrow. How about Saturday at ten a.m. at Light Up Coffee?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My real life continues to be hectic, so I don't know when I'll get to write. Next up will be either Exhibition or The Shadiest Bachelor.


	21. Tracing Your Own Path (Yellow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima's existential crisis deepens as he makes a major mistake at work. Meanwhile, Akihito asks for Asami's assistance for the first time. Can Kirishima earn back Asami's trust as he and Asami try to find out what trouble Akihito has gotten himself into now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long delay in publishing this chapter. I had some sudden unforeseen circumstances come up in my personal life and several months of a very busy working schedule. Things have mostly settled down now, so I hope to get back to a more consistent writing routine.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support keeps me going.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym
> 
> Japanese and other terms:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title (basically, Asami's right-hand man)  
> tracing: the act of doing parkour  
> Sasuke: the Japanese extreme obstacle course competition/TV show on which American Ninja Warrior is based  
> koma: the piece in shogi (Japanese chess) that Asami compared Akihito to during their first encounter

Kirishima releases a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. _It feels like I’ve been holding it for three weeks._

He rereads Kou’s text, and he can feel the muscles in his shoulders coiling again.

 _Wait. He didn’t say_ he _didn’t want to break up. And he wants to meet in public. Isn’t that bad?_

Kirishima takes a deep breath.

 _There’s no sense worrying yourself, Kei_ , he chides. _At least he’s willing to meet you._

 

The next morning, Kirishima heads over to the parkour gym before work. A few of the guards are warming up. Tokawa grins wickedly. “Kirishima-san! You chose a great day to come back. Today is met-con day!”

All the other guards groan. Kirishima whispers to Saji, “What’s a met-con?”

Saji rolls his eyes. “Metabolic conditioning. High intensity interval training, but Tokawa-san likes to make the ‘rests’ high-intensity intervals in a different muscle group.”

“Sounds intense,” Kirishima says.

It takes Saji a second to realize it was a joke. He chuckles. “They’re no joke. But you feel good afterwards – if you think feeling like all your muscles have turned to jelly and you’re going to puke feels good.”

Kirishima gulps. He doesn’t have too long to get worried before Tokawa is throwing them into the routine. The half-mile run isn’t so bad, and while the three rounds of jump roping, lunges, sit-ups, and quadrupedal movement (bear crawls, army crawls, and inchworms) are a little uncomfortable, Kirishima starts to wonder what Saji was making a big deal about.

Until Tokawa calls out, “Okay, warm-up is over. Come over to the board and check out the workout!” On the board is a list of exercises with numbers beside them. “You have twenty minutes to complete as many rounds as possible,” Tokawa explains.

Kirishima scans the list: precision jumps, jumping jacks, push-ups, squats, burpees, pull-ups, handstand push-ups… None of those exercises are exactly easy. Tokawa divides the guards into pairs and assigns them to different exercises to start so that no one will have to wait for any of the equipment. Kirishima is assigned to burpees with Saji, who groans.

“We’ll have to do more burpees than anyone else, if the time stops mid-round,” Saji gripes.

When Tokawa blows his whistle, Kirishima puts his hands down on the ground, kicks his feet back, does a push-up, hops his feet forward, hops up into a standing position, and jumps again once he’s upright. By the time he’s finished one burpee, Saji’s already finished two.

“Move faster, Kirishima-san! Just throw yourself down on the ground!” Tokawa shouts.

Kirishima goes as fast as he can, but Sakuragi and his partner have joined them before they’re finished. Saji moves on to the next station, and Kirishima tries to work harder. He’s already out of breath, and the sweat is starting to pour off of him.

_I’m only on my tenth burpee. I’m so out of shape._

By the time Kirishima finishes his second circuit, Saji rejoins him at the burpee station to start his fourth. Kirishima takes a moment to wipe his brow, but Tokawa’s right there, shouting for him to keep going.

Kirishima has quickly given up trying to keep pace with the other men, but it’s still embarrassing to be lapped by them. What’s worse is that they’re all like robots, not seeming to slow down or even look winded as the time goes on, while Kirishima’s shirt is completely soaked through. Tokawa keeps shouting at Kirishima to pick up the pace. Kirishima knows that he’s slowed down, but he’s honestly going as fast as he can, and he can barely catch his breath.

Two minutes before the time is up, Kirishima makes a detour between the handstand push-up station and the precision jump station. Tokawa shouts, “Keep moving, Kirishima-san!” but stops when Kirishima leans over the trash can and pukes.

Kirishima wipes his mouth and trots back to the precision station. _If I hurry, I might finish the round before time is up._

He just manages to.

Tokawa nods at the group as they gather. “Good job today. How many rounds did you complete?” He holds his marker to the board, ready to record everyone’s scores.

Kirishima feels embarrassed when most of the other guys say eight or nine. Sakuragi shouts “ten” with a wide grin, and the others clap him on the back. When everyone else has given their scores, Tokawa calls, “Kirishima-san? How many did you get?”

Kirishima looks down at his shoes. “Five.” The others start to clap, but he waves them off. “I’ve obviously got a lot of work to do. Sorry I didn’t do better.”

“You worked so hard you puked, fuku-shacho-san! And you didn’t let even that stop you!” Sakuragi cries.

“Is that what that smell is?” Saji asks.

“Sorry, I can take out the trash,” Kirishima offers to Tokawa, his face turning even redder.

Tokawa waves him off. “You guys have to cool down.” As they start to stretch, Tokawa comes over to Kirishima. “Sorry if I pushed you too hard today. I just assumed you could keep up considering how well you did last time.”

Kirishima grunts. “I’ve been running on the treadmill lately, but I’ve always been pretty slow and clumsy.”

“What kind of running? Interval training?” Tokawa asks.

Kirishima shakes his head. “Just regular running. A few miles after my strength-training sessions or in the evenings, nothing too hard, though sometimes I might push the pace a bit.”

Tokawa nods. “How often do you strength-train?”

“I used to do it four or five times a week, but I cut back a bit once I started doing parkour. I recently got back into it, but I missed parkour.”

Tokawa nods again. He calls out to the group “Now stretch your hamstrings” before turning back to Kirishima. “What are your fitness goals?”

Kirishima opens his mouth to answer but realizes he doesn’t have an answer. He shrugs. “Just to stay in good shape for the job. Kazu- er, Suoh-san has always made my workout plan for me.”

“Since you started working for Sion? How long ago was that?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “Since high school. Suoh is my cousin.”

“I see.” Tokawa calls out to the others, “Great job today, guys! Sakuragi-san, you’ll have to wait and see whether your record will hold up when everyone else does the workout.”

Sakuragi rolls his eyes. “No way. Yoneda is going to cream me.”

The men start to get up to head to the locker room, but Tokawa says, “Got a minute, Kirishima-san?”

Kirishima shrugs as he checks his watch. He told Morita he’d be in at noon. “I’ve got a few.”

“How much did Kou – er, Motomi-san – tell you about parkour as a lifestyle?”

Hearing Kou’s name is like a punch to the gut, but Kirishima focuses on trying to remember. “A little, I guess. We were focused more on actually doing things.” He tries not to blush as he remembers what they spent much of their time together doing.

“Parkour is about finding your own way. It applies not just to training or tracing, but to _everything_ in life.”

Kirishima furrows his brow. “I thought parkour was about overcoming any obstacles in your path by adapting your movements to the environment.”

Tokawa chuckles. “That sounds like Kou, alright. Yes, that’s true… but first you need to be aware of what _your_ path is – and choose your _own_ movements, not the movements someone else chooses for you.”

“I get that… When you set a course, each person should choose their own path, of course… but I wouldn’t know how to do _anything_ in parkour if Kou-san hadn’t taught me. And even after all these years, I still have no idea how to create my own workout plan.” Kirishima bites his tongue before he can point out that Tokawa is obviously creating a workout plan for the Sion employees.

Tokawa nods. “Community and sharing knowledge are important aspects of parkour, too.” He grins wryly. “And obviously your company is paying me to coach your employees to make sure they’re in good shape for their duties. But each of the guys has his own individual fitness goals, as well. Sakuragi-san is training for a triathlon and is working on his conditioning, which is why he was so stoked to get the highest number of rounds completed today. Saji-san wants to go on a rock-climbing trip this summer, so he’s working on his upper body strength. Yoneda-san wants to compete on _Sasuke_ , so he trains harder than anyone else.”

Kirishima feels the embarrassment creeping over him again. “I don’t have any goals like that. I mean, I like hiking and parkour, and I like seeing how I’m improving, but I’m never going to win any races or anything. As long as I’m fit enough to do my job, I just want to have fun.”

Tokawa nods. “You’re part of the inner bodyguard squad, right? So you’ve got to keep your overall strength and tactical skills up.”

Kirishima shrugs and nods.

“To some extent, that’s going to make your advancement in parkour a little more difficult, because strength-to-weight ratio is more important than overall strength in parkour.”

“I know,” Kirishima says. He checks his watch again. “Thanks for talking with me, but I’ve got to go so I can make it to work on time.”

“Of course,” Tokawa says. “But think about your goals, and we can meet and discuss how to adjust your workout schedule to meet _all_ your fitness goals, both professional _and_ personal.”

“Okay. Thanks.” As Kirishima heads to the locker room, he remembers how when Kou asked Kirishima what food he liked the night they met, he couldn’t think of anything. _I haven’t really gotten any better, have I? Maybe Ryuichi is right: maybe I_ am _having a midlife crisis._

 

Kirishima pushes his conversation with Tokawa out of his mind as he drives to Club Sion. The Suzuki Corporation leaders have requested a debriefing about the Kodama infiltration from Sion’s perspective, and Kirishima needs to be completely focused.

 Kirishima’s presentation goes well until Suzuki’s fuku-shacho interrupts Kirishima to ask, “So how exactly did you discover that Yamazaki diverted Suzuki funds to pay for the assassination attempt on Asami-sama?”

Kirishima blinks, his mind gone blank. After a second, he stalls for time, saying, “I – er – actually –” Nothing is coming to mind, and Suoh kicks him under the table. Kirishima finishes lamely, “I wasn’t in the office that day, so I’m not 100% positive. Suoh-san, perhaps you can explain?”

Suoh flawlessly gives the plausible explanation that they’d concocted earlier. Kirishima keeps his face impassive, but he inwardly breathes a sigh of relief that Suoh is able to salvage the situation and keep the mole in the Suzuki accounting department safe.

After they’ve gone over how Sion supposedly discovered the yakuza spy, Asami calls for a break. As Kirishima pours tea for Asami, Asami says in an undertone designed to sound like it’s for Kirishima’s ears only (yet loud enough for Suzuki’s president to overhear), “Kirishima, you’re looking a bit pale. Are you still feeling under the weather?”

Kirishima steals a quick glance at Asami’s face and understands. “I’m sorry, Asami-sama. I thought I’d recovered, but I’m starting to feel faint again.” He makes his excuses and exits the room.

As he walks down the hall, up the stairs, and through the executive suite to his own office, he tries not to let the blush creep across his face. Despite seeing every head turn to look at him curiously as he passes, Kirishima just manages to maintain his stoic expression until he closes the door of his own office behind him.

_Shit._

_Shit shit shit._

Asami has never dismissed Kirishima from a meeting before.

Then again, Kirishima has never screwed up this badly. Heck, the nearest he ever came was when he had to look up one of the statistics during the Tanihara meeting after Kirishima’s first date with Kou – a misstep that only Asami himself noticed, and that only lasted a fraction of a second.

But this – this was potentially career-ending. In other organizations, it could be _life_ -ending.

_Shit shit shit. What the heck just happened?_

Kirishima doesn’t have an answer. And he’s going to need one for Asami as soon as the debriefing concludes.

 

Five minutes later, Kirishima is still staring stunned at his empty desk. He’s stirred by a quiet knock at the door.

“Come in,” he says automatically, straightening as he wonders who it could be.

It’s Morita’s assistant. “Fuku-shacho-san, I brought you a cup of tea. Do you need anything else?” the man stammers, not daring to look anywhere but at his own shoes.

Amusement tickles a distant corner of Kirishima’s brain. _The poor fellow obviously drew the short straw among the office gossips._

Kirishima looks at him coolly. “Thank you for your consideration. Morita-kun will be here momentarily to assign you with more tasks if you’ve already finished all your work.”

“I haven’t!” the man squeaks. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.” He rushes out, bowing repeatedly as he closes the door behind him.

Kirishima sighs and pulls the stack of reports on the corner of his desk towards him. Sitting and stewing isn’t getting him anywhere, so he may as well get some work done. Maybe he’ll be able to figure out what went wrong if he lets his subconscious work on it, since that’s the part of his brain used to dealing with these types of things.

 

Thirty minutes later, another knock at the door has Kirishima jumping to attention. But it’s Suoh who opens the door, not Asami.

Suoh closes the door behind himself, not bothering to ask whether he’s interrupting anything.

Kirishima closes the report on his desk and braces himself for the worst.

“I’d ask what happened, but I can tell by the look on your face that you don’t know,” Suoh says.

“I don’t,” Kirishima admits. “I’m sorry. I –”

Suoh holds up a hand, and Kirishima stops talking.

“Ryuichi wants you to go see Kurebayashi-sensei as soon as we’re done here,” Suoh says.

Kirishima nods curtly. “Thank you for –”

Suoh interrupts him. “You don’t have to live the rest of your life based on a promise you made as a kid.”

Kirishima’s head snaps up, and he looks at his cousin properly for the first time. “What?”

“No one could expect you to.”

“But Asami-sama –”

“Ryuichi would understand.”

Kirishima snorts. “No, he wouldn’t. Betrayal is the one thing he can’t tolerate.”

“If you regret your promise, it’s only a matter of time before you _will_ betray him.”

Kirishima tries to answer, but no sound can get past the lump in his throat as Suoh’s expression relays the rest of the thought he can’t bring himself to finish saying: “like you nearly did just now.”

Suoh sighs and continues, “You didn’t know what you were getting into. Ryuichi knows that.”

Kirishima snorts again. “Fifteen years is a little late to back out now. You told me yourself, I’m not the same person I was back then. This is who I am.”

Suoh shakes his head. “I was wrong. You never would have followed Ryuichi so naïvely if you hadn’t worshipped me as a kid.”

“I didn’t _worship_ you,” Kirishima retorts.

Suoh shrugs. “Close enough. Mom told me not to expose you to Dad’s family business, but I wanted you to think I was cool. You weren’t supposed to _follow_ me down that path – _I_ wasn’t even supposed to go down this path myself. If Mom or Auntie knew the real nature of our business…”

“I chose my own path,” Kirishima says. The phrase brings to mind his earlier conversation with Tokawa.

_Did I?_

“Talk to Kurebayashi. Figure it out. If you decide you want to take a different path, just tell me. I’ll make sure Ryuichi accepts it. He’s not so generous to tell you himself, but he _will_ accept it. Eventually.” A familiar mulish look slips over Suoh’s face, and Kirishima feels like he can fully exhale for the first time in almost an hour.

 

Kirishima braces himself before knocking on Kurebayashi’s door. When he enters her office, she levels her best no-nonsense stare at him.

“Kirishima-kun. Are you ready to try this again? I won’t tolerate any bullshit this time.”

Kirishima gulps but slowly nods as he steps into Kurebayashi’s office.

_Whatever Kazu-nii says, I want to keep my vow to Ryuichi. But I also want to be a man worthy of Kou-san. Maybe Kurebayashi-sensei can help me figure out how to do both._

 

Kirishima checks his phone as soon as he leaves Kurebayashi’s office. The text from Asami is to the point:

_My office as soon as you’re done._

 

When Kirishima enters the office, he bows and says, “I’m sorry, Asami-sama. It won’t happen again.” He knows Asami isn’t interested in hearing excuses, so he doesn’t offer any.

“Stand up,” Asami says impatiently. He studies Kirishima’s face as if trying to decide what to do with him. “Kazumi thinks I should give you more time off, but I don’t think that would help. I think maybe you’re thinking too much, and more time would amplify the problem.”

Kirishima grimaces. “That’s probably true. I really am sorry.”

Asami sighs. “I know you are, Kei. If it were anyone else…” he trails off absentmindedly, no threat latent in his words.

Asami’s lack of anger just makes Kirishima feel worse, but before Kirishima can say anything more, Asami changes the subject. “We need to rearrange tonight’s schedule.” He holds out his phone for Kirishima to read.

_Meet me at midnight under the Karabori River bridge on Yamamomo Street. Access via park on SW corner. Bring a friend – one should do._

“Takaba-san?” Kirishima asks, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Of course.”

“Any idea what he’s up to?”

“He mentioned investigating something going on at the water treatment plant.”

Kirishima quickly searches on his tablet. “The water treatment plant is about one kilometer downstream. Karabori River isn’t navigable. For much of the year, the riverbed is dry.”

Asami shrugs. “A water treatment plant is a large facility. Plenty of places to hide things. It could be an interior way station for a smuggling route.”

“Or it could be a site of low-level government embezzlement.” Kirishima adjusts his glasses again. “Has he ever asked you to bring back-up before?”

“No. He doesn’t usually _ask_ me for any kind of help.” Asami frowns.

“He won’t tell you anything else?” Kirishima asks.

Asami doesn’t answer, lost too deep in thought.

Kirishima focuses on examining the evening’s schedule, seeing how he can rearrange it.

After a moment, Kirishima says, “I don’t think we can move the Tanihara meeting, but Suoh could handle that.” Kirishima remembers that he’s in the doghouse and quickly adds, “Or I could.”

Asami continues to frown down at his phone.

After another moment, Kirishima clears his throat. “I’m actually somewhat familiar with the area where the meeting is supposed to take place. I think I’ve been in that park before.” He walls off the memories of learning underbars and gate vaults from Kou in the park. _Not now._

“Are you prepared? Can you focus?” Asami asks, gazing intently at Kirishima.

“Yes, of course! I- I’m not sure why I fumbled earlier, but it won’t happen again,” Kirishima resolves.

Asami’s face tightens. “Kurebayashi thinks you won’t have a problem when it comes to physical reaction time. Suoh agrees – he says the neuromuscular pathways are grooved deep enough to bypass the brain.”

“That’s true,” Kirishima says, reddening slightly. _Just how much did Kurebayashi-sensei tell Asami-sama? They only had a couple of minutes to talk while I walked from her office to his._

Asami nods curtly, pulling the stack of reports towards him. Kirishima hurries out of the room to finish rearranging the schedule, hoping that Kurebayashi and Suoh are right.

_I can’t let Asami-sama down again._

 

Kirishima is so busy behind the scenes handling all the rescheduling that he can’t attend any of the meetings with Asami.

_Did Asami-sama arrange it that way because he doesn’t trust me anymore?_

Kirishima can’t worry too much about that. The fastest way to re-earn Asami’s trust is to do his job impeccably.

 

As midnight approaches, Kirishima is filled with a growing sense of unease. He calls in Yoneda to help develop contingency plans. Knowing the kind of trouble Takaba can attract and having so little information about tonight’s meeting, Kirishima wants to make sure every possibility is accounted for. Yoneda and two of Takaba’s other guards head to the bridge at eleven to set up the extra escape routes and secure the area as unobtrusively as possible. They’ll provide back-up from under the next bridge over, a few dozen meters away.

In the car on the way to Higashiyamato, Kirishima briefs Asami on the preparations.

“Good,” Asami says, staring tensely out the window.

Kirishima parks outside a convenience store on the other side of the river from the rendezvous spot. It’s the nearest inconspicuous spot he could find, and Yoneda’s surveillance confirmed that the river is low enough that they should be able to get back to the car even if the bridge is compromised.

“Asami-sama, you should probably change your shoes,” Kirishima says, passing a pair of black sneakers over his seat.

Even though Asami’s dress shoes have a decent grip, they won’t be good enough for a wall run if they need to escape. Asami grunts but accepts the shoes.

Kirishima leads the way to the park, acting as if they’re just two salarymen cutting home along the bike path. He passes the locked gate to the stairs leading down into the park, instead waiting until they’re overlooking the handicapped ramp. He checks quickly in all directions and then performs a gate vault, disappearing down below eye-level in the blink of an eye.

Asami quickly mimics the movement, grumbling, “Was that really necessary?” as he straightens up.

“We’re rather exposed,” Kirishima mutters back, performing a gate vault onto the next level of ramp after the switchback. He darts diagonally across to the final railing, performing an underbar through it down to the riverbed.

Asami curses softly as he slams his shins into the bars when he tries to copy the move.

“Sorry,” Kirishima whispers as he runs under the shadow of the bridge. The moon is nearly full, and he wants to get them out of the range of visibility as soon as possible. The bridge, the bike path on the south bank, and the road on the north bank are all lined with thin metal railings to preserve as much of the scenic view as possible, and despite their dark clothing, Kirishima feels as conspicuous as if he were running around in neon colors in broad daylight.

 

They arrive under the bridge safely. Their earpieces crackle, and Yoneda reports, “All clear.”

“Koma’s ETA?” Kirishima answers, using the codename for Akihito.

“Three minutes. He’s parking his scooter a few blocks southwest.”

 

Kirishima is startled a minute later when something drops off the bridge, but he manages not to visibly jump.

Asami puts his gun away and says, “Idiot. I could have killed you, brat.”

“You knew I was coming,” Akihito says defensively. “Did anyone see you arrive?”

“No,” Kirishima says.

Akihito swivels towards him. A grin flits across his face momentarily before he scowls and says, “Good.”

“You going to tell us what’s going on?” Asami asks.

“Nah. You’ll see soon enough,” Akihito says. “He should be here within five minutes.”

The familiar hum of a motorbike sounds along the road. It turns just before the bridge, obviously heading down the bike path a short way before the motor is cut off.

A figure quickly descends through the park.

Asami pulls out his gun, but Kirishima doesn’t bother.

Even though it’s been three weeks, Kirishima would recognize the figure from ten times as far away in a new moon.

“It’s Kou-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fit a bit more into this chapter than I expected. I think I'll probably write the next chapter of this story next, since I've got a lot of ideas flowing for it. The next chapter may or may not be from Kou's perspective; it's been a while since we've heard things from his P.O.V.


	22. Dance with You in Vienna, Wearing a River's Disguise (Violet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Kou appear at Akihito's stakeout location? And what will happen when he and Kirishima finally talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure as I wrote this chapter whether it would end up being one or two. I decided to make it one longer chapter since I wanted to end it where I did, and it wasn't quite long enough for two. The characters once again took the story in directions I hadn't envisioned, but we're still on pace to finish it in 4-9 more chapters.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name)
> 
> Japanese and other terms:  
> mugicha: barley tea  
> drink bar: many Japanese family restaurants have a “drink bar” similar to American restaurants’ salad bar, granting you unlimited access to a wide variety of drinks such as hot teas, soft drinks, juices, and various coffee beverages; see [this video](https://youtu.be/tcQ9CFvGI28?t=224) as an example  
> daimon: the insignia of a yakuza group  
> kaisendon: a rice bowl topped with a variety of fresh seafood  
> kinpira gobo: a stir-fried dish of carrots and burdock served in a sweet-and-salty sauce  
> namasu: a type of pickled salad  
> katagi: a yakuza term for non-yakuza  
> enka: a genre of Japanese music popular decades ago that has roots in traditional Japanese music  
> megane: glasses (Akihito’s nickname for Kirishima)

Kou makes the final touch-ups to the design and steps back to look at it, frowning. The client was pleased enough with the design, requesting very few changes, but Kou knows that he should have done better.

_Yoshizuki-sensei always said you can’t expect to be personally pleased with every single one of your own designs. If you are, that means you’re not listening to your clients enough._

Still, Kou thinks he could have come up with something that would have pleased his client _and_ himself a little more, if he’d only been able to concentrate better. He shakes his head and rubs his tired eyes, then automatically starts doing some of his eye exercises.

He checks the time: 10:30pm. He promised to send the final documents by midnight, but he always likes to deliver them early. He stands and stretches, grabbing a glass of mugicha before sitting down and reviewing the documents a final time.

Kou is clicking “send” on the e-mail thirty minutes later when his phone buzzes.

He sighs when he sees it’s Akihito. Akihito has been supportive since the break-up, but Kou is getting a little tired of Akihito bashing Kirishima. _Aki means well, but he doesn’t know Kei-san as well as I do._ Kou sighs again and reads the text.

_Have you finished your project?_

_I just finished._ ε-(´・｀) ﾌ

_Great! Can I ask a favor?_ (*＾□＾)八

_Okay…_

_I need back-up on a stakeout._

_What kind of back-up? You know I suck at taking pictures…_

_I’ve got a lead on a water treatment plant. I need your parkour skills._

_Aki, I can’t afford to get arrested._

_Duh!! Me neither! We won’t get arrested. We’ll be on public property. That’s why I need your help._

(*´Д｀)=з _Fine. When?_

_Midnight…_

_Aki, I just turned in my assignment, and I’ve got an appointment in the morning._

_Can’t it wait until tomorrow?_

_No…_ (*＾□＾)八

_Can I even get there in time? It’s already 11._

_It’s only ten minutes from your house. That’s why I asked you._

_Should I head over there now?_

_No! Actually, don’t leave your house until midnight. We have to avoid security._

_Aki! I already told you, I’m not doing anything illegal._

_We won’t, I promise. Anyway, meet me under the Yamamomo Street bridge._

_Got it._

 

Kou sighs and tosses his phone on his bed. He hasn’t bathed in two days – or even barely moved from his chair. He decides to take a quick shower before limbering up a bit.

_Well, hopefully Aki won’t talk to me about Kei-san if he’s distracted by this investigation. He hasn’t asked for my help on a case in a long time. I wonder what he’s gotten himself into now…_

Kou is grateful for the distraction, though. He’s been trying not to think about his meeting with Kirishima tomorrow morning, which wasn’t too hard while Kou was so focused on his assignment. But he knows he’ll be up all night worrying about it – unless he can tire his body out enough running around with Akihito.

Despite himself, Kou feels himself grinning as he stretches and does a dynamic warm-up.

_Maybe Aki asked me for my sake as much as his. He could have waited until after my meeting with Kei-san tomorrow, though._

Kou pauses.

_Did I tell Aki about that?_

He shrugs. He probably didn’t. Ah, well.

_Hopefully we’re not out too late. And hopefully Aki’s not involved in something too crazy again. What could be going on at a water treatment plant, anyway? Isn’t that where I get_ my _water from?_

Kou sniffs himself. He didn’t notice anything when he showered, and he doesn’t seem to smell now.

_Unless I’m used to it._

He goes to grab his refillable water bottle but decides to stop at a convenience store to get some bottled water instead.

 

As Kou hops over the final railing to the riverbed, he sees something reflect moonlight from under the bridge. He retreats into the shadows, hoping it’s Akihito.

“Kou!” Akihito’s voice calls out.

Kou jogs over, and three figures emerge from under the bridge. Kou’s heart skips a beat when he recognizes Kirishima.

_The light must have reflected off his glasses._

The third figure takes a moment longer to emerge from the shadows. Kou pulls up short when he recognizes Asami. He looks at the trio uncertainly.

_Did Aki ask them for help, too? But Asami-san doesn’t really do parkour…_

Kou remembers that Kirishima carries a gun in his bodyguard role. Kou’s unease grows.

“Aki? What’s going on?” he asks, his attention shifting to his friend.

“Yes. Do tell,” Asami says, his voice dripping with what sounds like sarcasm.

Kou casts a quick glance at Asami’s face. Asami looks displeased. Kou sneaks an even quicker glance at Kirishima, who looks confused and a little taken aback.

_Is he disappointed to see me? But he was the one who wanted to meet tomorrow._

Kou focuses on Akihito again, who’s grinning like he just successfully pulled a prank.

“Aki. Tell me you did not drag me out here in the middle of the night to –” Kou starts.

“Shut up, Kou! You’ve been miserable. Kirishima-san has been miserable. Neither of you wanted to break up, but you’re both being stubborn fools.”

The exasperation hits Kou like a wave. He shoves aside the accompanying tiny amount of affection and gratitude towards Akihito for attempting to help repair a relationship he doesn’t even approve of.

Kou sighs and says as if to a small child, “Aki, do you remember when you asked me to come out here tonight? I told you I was exhausted from working on my project nonstop for the past several days, and that I had a morning appointment tomorrow. That appointment is with Kei-san.”

Akihito’s jaw drops. “I didn’t know that! How was I supposed to know? Last we talked, you said you’d told him not to contact you anymore!”

Kou frowns. “That’s not what I said.” He steals a quick glance at Kirishima, but Kirishima is scanning the far river bank, his face cloaked in shadow. “Anyway, it’s bad enough dragging me out here in the middle of the night, but weren’t Kei-san and Asami-san working? All the way in Shinjuku?”

Asami interjects. “Is there any reason we need to have this conversation in a riverbed in the middle of the night?”

Akihito finally starts to look a little sheepish. “No.”

“Then let’s move somewhere –” Asami starts to say.

“Under the bridge!” Kirishima says in a low tone that nevertheless carries so much authority Kou obeys without thinking.

Kirishima’s earpiece crackles. After a moment he relaxes and says, “It was just Yoneda.”

“Who’s Yoneda?” Kou asks.

“Takaba-san’s bodyguard,” Kirishima answers automatically. His face immediately closes off as if he regrets answering.

“Why does Aki need a bodyguard?” Kou asks, looking back and forth between Kirishima and Akihito (who is glowering at Kirishima).

It’s Asami who answers. “Because he does stupid shit like this.”

“Oh. Right. And Hong Kong,” Kou says. At the mention of Hong Kong, both Kirishima and Asami tense.

“Hong Kong wasn’t my fault!” Akihito snaps.

“You went chasing after that car after we were all safe,” Kou reminds him.

“Can we move?” Asami asks. “There’s no actual investigation into the water treatment plant, right?” he double-checks.

Akihito sighs. “Right. Sorry. There’s a family restaurant a couple of blocks from here. We can walk there.”

He walks under the bridge and starts to climb a ladder built into the stonework leading up to the bike path.

“Wait, Aki!” Kou hisses up at him. “Don’t Kei-san and Asami-san have to go back to work?”

“They drove all the way out here. They must be hungry,” Akihito says.

Kou looks over at the pair and rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry my friend is an inconsiderate moron. Feel free to tell him no.”

Kirishima’s stomach takes that moment to growl loudly. Even in the pale moonlight, it’s easy to see the intense blush creeping across his face.

“… or we could eat,” Kou offers. “Whichever you prefer.”

“Might as well,” Asami says.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t have time to eat earlier,” Kirishima apologizes.

“See? Told you!” Akihito calls down as he resumes climbing the ladder.

Kou quickly scampers up the ladder next. When he reaches the bike path, he flicks Akihito in the forehead. “Kei-san wouldn’t have had to skip dinner if you hadn’t dragged him all the way out here in the middle of work. Don’t you know the weekends are their busiest times?”

Asami looks amusedly between Kou and Kirishima. “He really is a lot like you,” he says to Kirishima.

“What?” Kou asks, trying to duck out of a headlock and away from the noogie Akihito is giving him.

“How?” Akihito asks, letting go of Kou and looking back and forth between him and Kirishima.

Asami ignores the questions.

Akihito starts walking down the street. “The restaurant is this way.”

“Hold on, I have to get –” Kirishima and Kou say at the same time, Kirishima finishing with “the car” while Kou says “my bike.”

“Can’t you get them later?” Akihito asks. “It’s really not that far.”

“I parked illegally in case we needed a quick escape,” Kou says, “so no.”

“It makes more sense to have the vehicle nearby when we’re ready to leave,” Kirishima explains.

Akihito eyes them suspiciously. “You’re not going to just drive off, are you?”

Kou gapes at him. The thought hadn’t occurred to him, but actually…

_It’s going to be really awkward while we’re eating. I’ve barely managed to say a word to Kei-san, and he’s barely spoken at all._

“Kou! Don’t you dare!” Akihito exclaims.

“I won’t,” Kou mutters, embarrassed that Akihito read his thoughts so clearly. “Are you talking about the restaurant across from Matsuya? I’ll meet you there.”

Akihito nods, and Kou starts walking across the street towards his bike.

“You can ride with me,” Asami tells Akihito.

“Wait, Kou-san,” Kirishima calls out.

Kou turns around.

“Why not have Takaba-san ride behind you? Our car is across the bridge. There’s no need to make him walk that far,” Kirishima says.

“He doesn’t have a helmet,” Asami says.

“It’s only a couple of blocks,” Akihito points out.

He starts jogging to catch up with Kou, but Asami grabs Akihito and drapes him over one shoulder.

“Hey, put me down!” Akihito cries.

“We need directions, brat,” Asami says.

Kirishima sighs and starts following them, calling over his shoulder to Kou, “We’ll meet you there.” Kirishima’s face looks grim.

Akihito is still kicking and shouting. Kou is not sure what to do. He watches the others walk away for a moment before hopping on his bike and heading over to the restaurant. The parking lot only has two cars parked near the back, so he parks near the entrance and waits on his bike.

The Mercedes pulls into the space next to him a minute later. Kirishima gets out and walks over to Kou’s bike.

“Let’s go inside and wait,” Kirishima suggests.

Kou tugs off his helmet and locks it to his bike. “Wait for what?” he asks.

Kirishima blushes and shrugs, glancing at the car before looking away quickly. Kou looks at the car more closely and notices that it’s rocking.

_And what’s that sound? Is that Aki? Oh…_

Kou instantly turns as red as Kirishima. Kou swings off his bike and follows Kirishima inside, whispering, “Seriously? It was only like a two-minute car ride!”

Kirishima shrugs. He chooses a booth next to the window so he can observe the parking lot.

“Can’t we sit further inside?” Kou asks, trying not to look at the still-rocking Mercedes.

“I have to keep an eye on things,” Kirishima explains.

“Gross,” Kou says.

Kirishima levels a gaze at Kou. Kirishima says softly, “You know I’m a bodyguard. I’m keeping them both safe. They’re too preoccupied to notice if someone were to approach the car.”

Kou snorts. “Safe from what? Some drunk bumping into the car? A peeping tom? The tint looks pretty dark – thank goodness.”

Kirishima doesn’t answer, but his face gets that closed-off look.

_Shit. What am I doing?_ Kou wonders. _I’m finally talking to Kei-san, but all I’m doing is snapping at him._

“I’m sorry,” Kou says. “I just…” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about what they’re doing out there.”

“Me neither,” Kirishima says. “We can at least order drinks while we wait.”

“Do you think they’ll be long?” Kou asks. “You must be starving…”

Kirishima shrugs. “The time can vary. They could be five minutes or an hour.” He blushes and picks up a pair of menus off the table, handing one to Kou.

Kou snorts. “Let’s order then. It’ll serve them right to have to watch us eat while they wait for their food.”

Kirishima chuckles. “That’s a petty revenge.”

Kou breathes a soft sigh of relief. _At least we’re finally talking normally._

 

They both order the drink bar. “Do you want me to get yours for you?” Kou offers.

“Yes, please. I’ll just have oolong tea. Thanks.”

Kou gets a glass of cola for himself and the tea for Kirishima. As he turns to head back to the table, a group of four men enter the restaurant. One of the men nods at a booth next to the drink bar, and they start down the narrow walkway towards Kou.

Kou carefully holds the drinks up as he squeezes to the side to pass the men, but the shortest man, who’s leading the way, suddenly shifts to his left, bumping Kou hard in the shoulder. Kou manages to shift the drinks to his right side as he turns. The second man, burlier than the first, bumps Kou harder than the first did, and Kou sets the drinks down on a table, giving them a little scoot before placing his hands on a chair and flipping over it.

Kou lands next to the chair and turns to face the men. “Do you have a problem?” he asks angrily.

“Kou-san, are you alright?” Kirishima asks. In the time it took for Kou to move away from the men, Kirishima has managed to cross the restaurant and insinuate himself between Kou and the others. Kirishima keeps his eyes focused on the men.

“I’m fine,” Kou says.

“I’m not. You spilled your hot tea on me,” the short man says. “I need compensation for medical bills.”

“And you spilled your cola on me. I need a cleaning fee,” the burly man says.

Kirishima starts to put the men in their place, but Kou’s laugh drowns him out.

The four men and Kirishima all turn to look at him, startled.

“You’re really bad at this. Where’s the damage?” Kou asks. “I didn’t spill a drop. Look at the glasses!”

Sure enough, the glasses are completely full.

The men glance down at their suits, but there’s not even so much as a drop on them.

“You’re lucky you didn’t spill,” the short man says grouchily. “Next time, be more careful.”

“Look who’s talking,” Kou mutters.

“What was that?” the burly man asks, rushing towards Kou.

Kirishima deftly steps between them again. “We’re just trying to have a nice quiet meal. We’ll go back to our seats now. Why don’t you do the same?”

The man glares at Kirishima, but Kirishima doesn’t back down. After a moment, the man looks away. “Whatever,” he mutters, following his companions to their table.

“Thanks, Kei-san,” Kou says.

“I’ve got to tell Asa-” Kirishima starts, stopping when he sees Asami and Akihito walk into the restaurant. Kirishima positions himself so that he can keep one eye on the table full of men as he heads back down the aisle towards their own table. Kou looks back at the men, too.

The short man looks at Asami and his face goes pale. He nudges his companions.

Kirishima says, “Come on, Kou-san,” and Kou follows. Kirishima gives no outward indication that anything is wrong, but Kou thinks he hears Kirishima give a small sigh.

As soon as they’re seated at their table, Kirishima hands menus over to Asami and Akihito. He says in a low tone, “Those men are members of Kodama-gumi. Probably very low-level, since I don’t recognize any of them, but the one in charge is wearing their daimon.”

Kou jumps and has the urge to look over at the other table again, but since he’d have to turn his head, he controls himself. Asami and Akihito both look completely normal as they take in the information.

_Get a hold of yourself, Kou. You knew they were up to no good when they tried to scam you. Since they backed down after Kei-san stepped in, they’re probably not going to try anything again._

Asami frowns at the menu. “Is the kaisendon any good here?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never had it,” Akihito says.  “Isn’t Kodama the group who –”

“Have you ever had the kaisendon here, Motomi?” Asami interrupts.

Kirishima glances with apparent interest in Kou’s direction, but Kou can see that Kirishima is actually looking past Kou at the other table.

“No, sorry,” Kou says. He feels suddenly tense. _What’s going on? Is that the group that attacked Kei-san?_

“They recognized you, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says. “And it appears that they’re making a phone call.”

Kirishima reaches under the table and takes Kou’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

Kou feels the warmth spread up from his hand.

_Why does Kei-san always feel so warm? I missed this._

He lets out a breathy sigh and squeezes Kirishima’s hand back.

“I’ve had the kaisendon here before, Asami-sama,” Kirishima says. “It’s good, but may I suggest pairing it with the kinpira gobo, which isn’t too sweet here, or the namasu.”

Akihito gapes at Kirishima. “When have you been here before?” he asks loudly.

Kou kicks Akihito under the table, and Akihito flushes.

“Oh. Never mind.”

Kirishima pulls his hand out of Kou’s. Kou looks down and sees that Kirishima is typing a text with one hand as he points to the menu with his other and asks Akihito, “Is the unadon any good here?”

“It’s okay,” Akihito says, “though I prefer their ramen.”

Kou can’t take the tension anymore. He whispers into Kirishima’s ear, “Is Kodama-gumi the group that attacked you?”

Kirishima stiffens slightly before giving a nearly imperceptible nod.

Kou draws in an involuntary breath. He’s tried not to think about what Kirishima told him the night they broke up, but of course Kirishima hasn’t had that luxury.

_What happened after that, anyway? I mean, once the yakuza starts targeting you, what can you even do about it?_

Kou shudders.

_Surely Asami-san and Kirishima-san must have some kind of plan. Even if they can’t go to the police, there has to be a way to make the yakuza stop. Kou-san said the situation was resolved, but how?_

Kirishima slips his phone back in his pocket and takes Kou’s hand again, giving it another squeeze.

Kou looks at the others.

_How can they sit here so calmly? I’ve got to_ do _something._

He drains his drink and says, “I’m heading back to the drink bar. Asami-san, Akihito, would you like something?”

“You’ll have trouble carrying three drinks,” Akihito says. “I’ll come with you.”

Asami frowns but lets the pair go, his eyes following them.

Kou mentally kicks himself as they approach the yakuza table.

_What the hell was I thinking?_

He resolutely ignores the men as he gets himself another glass of cola. “What would Asami-san like?” he asks Akihito.

The burly man gets up from their table. Kou sets his glass down and turns to face the man. Maybe the others can pretend something’s not going on, but there’s no way Kou can keep his back to someone so dangerous.

But Akihito turns around, too. He folds his arms across his chest and waits.

“Move,” the man grunts at Kou. Kou steps aside. The man fills a glass with juice. As he heads back to his table, he throws out an elbow towards Kou, but Kou is expecting it. He nimbly steps to the side, and the man stumbles, sloshing juice down his hand.

“Look what you made me do!” the man snaps.

He tosses the juice towards Kou, but once again, Kou is too quick. This time, he dives into a roll down the aisle towards their table. The burly man gets another refill and sits back at his table, cracking his knuckles.

Akihito tries not to snicker as he follows Kou back to their table. “Wow, they’re like the incompetent low-level bad guys out of a shounen manga.”

“Are we ready to order?” Asami asks them when they return, not commenting on their lack of drinks or what just happened.

Asami raises an arm to signal for the waitress. “You’re supposed to use this,” Akihito says, pressing the call button.

A waitress hurries over. “Sorry for the inconvenience,” she says, taking a quick glance over her shoulder at the other table. “Can I get your drinks for you?”

“Do they come here often?” Akihito asks.

“No. Well, not until this week, anyway.” The waitress grimaces. “I’m very sorry. This is the third time they’ve come in around this time. Hopefully they will find somewhere else to go soon.”

“We’ll get our own drinks,” Asami says.

After they order, Asami says, “Move” to Akihito. Akihito slides out of the bench, and Asami walks over towards the drink bar.

Akihito follows him. “I’ll get your Coke,” he says to Kou.

Asami ignores the yakuza table as he passes them, but they tense up and keep a close eye on him while he helps himself to tea. Akihito gets two glasses of cola and heads back towards the table.

As Asami passes the yakuza table with his tea, he says, “If you want to continue wearing that daimon, I suggest you follow the code and don’t mess with katagi.”

“We’re deeply sorry,” the short yakuza says, bowing deeply in his seat. He glares at the other men until they do the same.

Asami ignores them and continues back to the table.

“That shorty’s the leader?” Kou exclaims, earning him a glare from the yakuza.

Akihito snickers, and even Kirishima can’t contain a chuckle, though he quickly composes himself.

A loud burst of enka music comes from the yakuza table. The short man pulls out his cell phone and says, “Yes, boss?”

“Enka?” Akihito mouths at Kou, and they try not to burst into outright fits of giggles.

“No, boss.”

Asami shoots Akihito a withering look, and Akihito tries desperately to control himself.

“We didn’t. I swear!”

Kou tries not to look Akihito in the eye, knowing that he’ll slip over the edge if he does.

“But we just ordered.”

Kirishima elbows Kou, and he sits up straight, trying to look normal.

“Fine.” The yakuza hangs up and tells the others. “We’ve got to go.” He throws a few bills on the table and stalks out the door, leaving the others scrambling to follow him.

Kirishima finally relaxes, but he stiffens when Kou asks, “What was that about?”

“Just some low-level thugs trying to feel more important than they are,” Asami answers smoothly. “You couldn’t figure that out?”

“No, I mean –”

Kirishima gives Kou a warning glance, but Kou is too worried to heed it.

“I mean, what happened after that incident a few weeks ago?”

Akihito kicks him under the table, glancing sharply in the direction of the kitchen.

Kou lowers his voice. “I mean, is everything okay now? How do you make a yakuza group stop trying to hurt you? I assume you can’t just go to the police…”

“What?” Akihito asks, suddenly growing very still. “Someone tried to hurt you? Is that when Megane-san hurt his arm?” His eyes grow wide. “And does that have to do with what went down at Suzuki Corporation?”

Asami gives Kou a glare that helps Kou begin to understand how Asami is able to go toe-to-toe with yakuza. Kou tries not to shiver.

Kirishima clears his throat.

“Well?” Akihito asks, growing louder.

“The food is here,” Kirishima says.

They wait until the waitress leaves before Akihito says, “You know this isn’t something I’m just going to forget if you ignore me long enough.”

Asami doesn’t say anything. Kirishima clears his throat again. He casts a tentative glance at Asami before offering the following explanation: “It’s not like the entire organization was part of the plan. The leaders don’t want to lose an important business connection. If they can’t come to Club Sion, they can’t network effectively.”

Kirishima glances at Asami, who nods resignedly.

“That organization is undergoing some internal struggles. Someone was trying to get the attention of the leadership. The leadership is taking care of things.”

Kou gapes at him. “And you’re just going to leave it at that? How do you know they’re really taking care of things?”

Kirishima says, “I can’t answer that.”

Kou scowls.

Akihito says, “You know, if you’d told me, I could have done an exposé and taken down the whole organization.”

“You think an exposé is going to take down the third largest yakuza group? You’re still too naïve,” Asami says scathingly. “Besides, you’d have done something stupid and I’d have had to come save your ass again, causing more complications for me.”

It’s Akihito’s turn to scowl, but he can’t refute what Asami has said.

Kirishima looks over at Kou. “We’re taking care of it, okay?  We’re being careful.”

His earpiece crackles.

“Yoneda says they’ve really left.”

Kou remembers that Yoneda is Akihito’s bodyguard. “Is that who you texted earlier?”

Kirishima nods. “We had three back-up guards and have more on the way.” He picks up his phone and tells Yoneda to cancel the back-up.

Akihito picks up his chopsticks. “We might as well eat while the food is warm.”

For the next several minutes, they’re too busy eating to talk much.

Akihito’s face suddenly turns red. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbles. He rushes off to the bathroom.

A moment later, Asami gets up and heads in the same direction.

“What was that about?” Kou asks.

Kirishima shrugs.

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

Kirishima shrugs again. “Neither do I. Some things you’re better off not thinking too hard about.”

They go back to eating, but the silence feels more awkward when it’s just the two of them.

Kou finally can’t take it anymore. “Kei-san, I know we’re meeting tomorrow – and we can push our meeting back later if you need more sleep – but maybe we can talk a little now?”

Kirishima looks at him and blushes. “I’d like that.”

And then neither of them can think of anything more to say.

Kirishima breaks the silence. “I really didn’t want to break up with you. It just sounded like _you_ did, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.”

Kou shakes his head. “I didn’t. I just – I don’t know – I can’t bear the thought of you getting injured because of me.”

“I didn’t,” Kirishima says, more sure of himself this time. “Remember I told you that you colored my world? I wasn’t exaggerating. I’ve always focused exclusively on work. I never had a life outside of that. It took me a little while to get my bearings, but I can focus completely on work when I need to.”

Kou still looks skeptical. “But –”

“Remember when I had to leave suddenly when you were staying over? After what you saw, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be there when I got home. But I was able to focus on what I needed to do. I mean, yeah, I was worried about leaving you behind, but I was able to put it aside until I was done.”

Kou lets out a shaky breath. “Okay. That makes sense. I’m… not sure I can handle this type of stuff, though.”

“You mean like tonight?” Kirishima asks, frowning.

Kou shrugs. “Yeah. But – I know that tonight wasn’t your fault. And I’m glad you were there. I forgot to thank you for earlier. That guy might have hit me.”

“I wouldn’t let him do that,” Kirishima says, “but it’s not really a great idea to go mouthing off to yakuza.”

“I didn’t know they were yakuza. How did you know?”

Kirishima points to the top button on Kou’s jacket. “The leader had the group’s daimon right here.”

“But how did you know that was their daimon?”

“It’s my job to know,” Kirishima says. “It’s part of being a good bodyguard. Anyway, those guys look like they would have started something whether I was with you or not.”

“That’s true,” Kou says.

“I’ve been working for Asami-san since high school.”

“High school?” Kou asks.

“He had a tailoring business.”

“Tailoring?” Kou asks, laughing until he realizes Kirishima is serious. “That’s not dangerous.”

“True. Neither is Club Sion. Not really. He started it a year after college, and I’ve only gotten injured twice in all that time. I already explained why those were extraordinary circumstances.”

Kou slowly nods. “It’s still scary, though.”

Kirishima remembers the advice that Yoneda gave him. “I understand that. You’re not used to seeing yakuza or knowing anyone who deals with them on a regular basis – besides Takaba-san,” Kirishima amends. “And I can assure you I’m not nearly as reckless as him.”

Kou laughs again. “True, not many are.”

“But you came out here tonight to help him?” Kirishima presses.

Kou nods. “I guess I’m not being fair.”

“Your concerns are legitimate,” Kirishima acknowledges. “But maybe you just need to get used to the idea, to see whether it’s actually as scary as you _think_ it is.”

Kou nods again. “That sounds fair.”

“And…” Kirishima takes a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about honesty. I really am sorry I lied to you.”

Kou’s face clouds over.

“I don’t want to see you make that face again,” Kirishima says. “When I’m around you, you make me want to be a better person. I can’t promise I won’t mess up again. But I _can_ promise that I’ll keep trying to become a man worthy of you.”

Kou’s face crumples. “Why are you always putting yourself down? I told you the night we met that I like you just the way you are.”

Kirishima presses. “You didn’t like it when I lied to you, did you?”

Kou shakes his head.

“Neither did I.”

“So… are we back together?” Kou asks.

Kirishima smiles, “We are if you want to be.”

“I do,” Kou says, smiling back. He takes Kirishima’s hand and squeezes it gently. “I wish we could do more than hold hands right now,” he says shyly.

“Me too,” Kirishima says, blushing a little.

His blush intensifies when Kou glances towards the kitchen and bathroom then moves in for a quick kiss.

“Kou-san! What if someone sees?” Kirishima protests, but he can’t hide his own widening grin.

“Let them,” Kou says, but he doesn’t move in for another kiss.

Kou looks around again.

“What’s taking Aki and Asami-san so long, anyway?”

Kirishima frowns. “I suppose I’d better go check on them.”

“I can do it,” Kou offers.

“Are you sure you want to?” Kirishima asks, reddening again.

“Gross! Again?”

 

When Kou finally reaches his apartment an hour later, he’s not just exhausted but actually _tired_ for the first time in weeks.

_I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to sleep, though._

He smiles softly to himself as he quickly gets ready for bed. Once he’s settled underneath the covers, he grabs his phone to set his alarm. Kirishima and Kou set their meeting time back to noon, but it’s so late now, he’s afraid he’ll oversleep.

When Kou opens the phone, he sees a missed text:

_Motomi-kun, this is your friend Yoshida Misaki’s father, Detective Yoshida of the Organized Crime Division. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Can you come to the Higashiyamato Police Station tomorrow morning?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song "Take This Waltz" by Leonard Cohen, which was adapted from the poem "Pequeño Vals Vienès" by Federico García Lorca.
> 
> I'll probably write a chapter for Exhibition before working on this one again, but I'll be back to Color My World soon. I'm anxious to bring this roller coaster to a full and complete stop.


	23. Who is it Climbs to Your Picture (Ebony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Detective Yoshida want with Kou? And what will it mean for the newly reunited couple? Meanwhile, can Kirishima earn Asami's trust back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was going to write a chapter for "Exhibition" next, and I reread that story in preparation to do so, but when I started typing, Kirishima and Kou were the ones who started talking, so you get another CMW chapter instead.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name)
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> genkan: the entrance to a Japanese home  
> megane: glasses (Akihito’s nickname for Kirishima)

Kirishima is awakened by the buzzing of his phone at eleven o’clock the next morning. _I forgot to set the alarm again! Why does this only happen when I’m meeting Kou-san in the morning?_

Kirishima snatches his glasses and phone from his bedside table.

_Kei-san, can we change the location of our meeting to Motomi Pass? Sorry, I know it’s farther away for you, but I want us to meet somewhere we can talk privately._

Kirishima smiles softly.

 _No problem._ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

_I won’t have time to do much parkour, though, since I have to be at work at three._

_That’s okay. We don’t have to do any parkour._

Kirishima hops out of bed and starts pulling on the sakura blossom shirt and (non-skinny) jeans Kou picked out for him. After brushing his teeth, he glances at the clock again and realizes he’d better text Kou.

_I might be a little late depending on traffic._

_I know. I’m sorry. See you soon._

 

Tokyo traffic actually seems to be on Kirishima’s side for once, however, and he makes it to the Musashino Art University parking lot with five minutes to spare – just enough time to run over to Motomi Pass.

Kirishima cuts through Tic-Tac Alley and eyes the shortest section of the building that makes up Motomi Pass.

_I can wall-run up that._

He smiles and executes the wall run flawlessly. Once he’s on top of the shorter roof, he does another wall run up to the second-story roof. As he reaches the top, he grins, hoping to surprise Kou with his new skill. But when Kirishima peeks over the top, he can’t see Kou.

Kirishima’s smile fades for a moment, but he hoists himself over the wall onto the rooftop. There’s one more section of roof to check, across a small gap. Kirishima wouldn’t trust his skills enough to jump the gap were there nothing underneath, but thankfully there’s a small section that connects the two buildings, allowing people to move between them without getting wet during the rainy season. The roof is a bit lower over the connection, but it still provides a measure of safety for the gap jump.

Feeling confident after his wall runs, Kirishima decides to practice combining the two precisions required to make it across the gap: one up onto the wall and the second across the gap. He runs across the roof, timing his steps to make the jump onto the wall without losing momentum.

He makes it onto the wall just fine, but as he jumps across the gap, he’s startled to see someone lying on the small connecting roof. Kirishima wobbles a little on the landing as he hears, “Kei-san!”

Kirishima manages to get his balance enough to hop down off the wall onto the larger roof. He turns around and peers over the wall down at Kou.

“What are you doing down there?” Kirishima asks.

“Just thinking,” Kou says, hopping up to grab onto the wall next to Kirishima. As Kou swings himself over the wall onto the roof, he asks, “Did you come up a different way? I didn’t hear you until you were running across the roof.”

“I did a wall-run,” Kirishima says, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Now he feels a bit silly for wanting to show off.

“You can do wall-runs now?” Kou asks.

“I learned at Tokawa-san’s gym,” Kirishima explains.

“Oh, right, you mentioned that,” Kou says. “Great job!”

Kirishima’s a little disappointed that Kou doesn’t give him a congratulatory hug.

“Anyway, hello,” Kirishima says awkwardly, pushing his glasses up his nose and smiling shyly.

“Hi,” Kou answers.

Kou usually initiates their kisses, but Kirishima decides if Kou isn’t going to greet him properly, Kirishima will just have to take matters into his own hands.

He leans down, but Kou turns his face at the last second, and the kiss lands just to the side of his mouth.

“We need to talk,” Kou says.

Kirishima looks at Kou more closely. Kirishima had assumed Kou’s red-rimmed eyes were from not getting enough sleep last night, but Kirishima wonders if maybe Kou has been crying.

“Is everything alright?”

“Let’s sit down,” Kou says. He sits cross-legged in the shade of one of the solar panels on the roof.

Kirishima does the same, facing Kou while trying to control his own heartbeat.

“What’s wrong?” Kirishima asks.

Kou looks away. “I found out the real nature of your job,” he says flatly.

Everything inside Kirishima freezes. His first instinct is to lie, but he can tell by the look on Kou’s face that it won’t help.

_Be careful, Kei. He could be bugged._

Kirishima clears his throat. He opens his mouth to speak, but he can’t think of a single thing to say.

“You lied to me.”

“No, I didn’t,” Kirishima protests.

“A lie of omission is still a lie,” Kou spits out.

“There are some things I can’t say,” Kirishima says carefully. “I told you that, but I also promised to tell you when that’s the case from now on. I’m sorry.”

Kou laughs brittly. “I’m sorry? Is that all you can say? Why did I have to fall in love with you? Had I found out the night we met, I would have been disappointed, but it wouldn’t hurt so much.” He fights back tears.

Kirishima’s own heart is breaking. He reaches over to cup Kou’s face, but Kou jerks away from him.

Kirishima freezes again. “What exactly did you hear?” he asks. “No, don’t answer that.” _If Kou-san is bugged, I won’t have plausible deniability about what I’m admitting to unless we both remain vague._ “How did you find out? Was it Takaba?”

“Aki?” Kou asks, his mouth hanging open. “He knows?” Kou’s face hardens as he spits out, “Of course he does.”

“Well, I’m not actually sure exactly _what_ he knows,” Kirishima amends. _If it wasn’t Takaba, who was it?_

“But he knows enough, doesn’t he?” Kou asks, not relenting. “You met through his normal job after all, didn’t you? You’re a bad liar. And so is he.”

“He was pursuing a case about one of our clients,” Kirishima admits. “But you already knew we have a diverse range of clients.”

Kou snorts. “You make it sound so noble. ‘At Club Sion, we value diversity.’ Anyway, Aki lied to me, too.” Kou scowls.

Kirishima squares his shoulders. _I knew he was stubborn, but I didn’t realize the extent of it. This is going to be hard._ “If you didn’t hear it from Takaba, who was your source? Maybe they exaggerated,” Kirishima offers weakly.

Kou snorts and folds his arms across his chest. “After what I found out, I’m not going to answer that. I don’t want you targeting them. Anyway, they told me out of concern for me – which is more than you or Aki showed.” A few tears leak out of Kou’s eyes, but he brushes them away angrily. “They had no reason to lie to me. Or _exaggerate_ , as you say. They told me they saw the evidence with their own eyes.”

Kirishima gulps. “Kou-san, I love you, too. I don’t want to lose you. Isn’t there any way we can salvage this? I told you last night, I want to become a man worthy of you.”

Kou looks at Kirishima sadly. “I’ve been replaying our conversation over and over in my head after what I learned this morning. You said I make you want to be a better person ‘ _when you’re around me_.’ I need you to be the same man whether you’re around me or not.”

“I can do that,” Kirishima pleads.

“I don’t think you can, given your current job,” Kou counters.

Kirishima feels his body go rigid. “Are you asking me to choose between you and my job?” he asks woodenly.

“No! I mean, I’m not trying to give you some kind of ultimatum or anything. I just – can’t.”

“I made a vow to Asami-sama fifteen years ago. If I don’t honor that vow, I’ll never be the man you want me to be,” Kirishima says.

Kou recoils, but he brushes away another tear. “Well, you’ll either have to find another way to keep that vow, or this is goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” Kirishima repeats, taken aback. “Can’t we at least be friends?”

Kou shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Kei-san, but I don’t have the strength to be friends with you. Besides, I’ve got to think about the fellowship application. I made the first round, but if I fail a background check, I won’t qualify for a visa.”

“Congratulations!” Kirishima exclaims, happy for Kou for a split moment before he realizes what that will mean for Kirishima himself. “So this really is goodbye? I don’t want that. I’ll – I’ll think about what you’ve said, but…”

Kou smiles sadly. “I don’t expect you to give up your job for me. That wouldn’t be fair of me. And I won’t wait for you, so if by some miracle you _do_ decide to, you’d better make up your mind quickly.” Tears splash down Kou’s cheeks. This time he doesn’t wipe them away.

Kirishima senses something wet on his own cheeks. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s crying, too. It’s an unfamiliar sensation; even as a small child, he rarely cried.

Kou leans in and brushes Kirishima’s cheek. “Thank you for your tears, Kei-san. Can I give you one last kiss?”

Kirishima nods, and Kou leans in and gives Kirishima a quick peck. Kou starts to pull away, but Kirishima leans in and deepens the kiss.

It’s so much like their first kiss, and it similarly makes Kirishima lose track of time and place.

_Can’t this moment last forever?_

But too soon, Kou is pulling away.

He breathes in Kirishima’s ear, “Don’t worry; I didn’t tell them anything about you.” Kou pulls back a little and says, “Goodbye, Kei-san. Thank you for everything.”

“Goodbye, Kou-san. Thank _you_ for coloring my world.” Kirishima’s face falls as he thinks about how bleak his life will seem now without Kou in it. The last few weeks were hard enough, but he still had hope then, as remote as it was.

Kou hops down onto the connecting roof. He gazes up at Kirishima. “Your world always had color. I just helped you look up and see it. Don’t forget to look around you, Kei-san.”

Before Kirishima can reply, Kou is leaping down. Kirishima walks over to the edge of the roof. By the time he gets there, Kou is already across the quad and slipping between buildings.

Kirishima gives a small laugh as the tears splash down his face once again.

 

Kirishima rides the elevator up to Asami’s apartment with a slight feeling of unease. Usually when Kirishima picks Asami up, Asami comes out to the car. Kirishima knows that Asami can’t be overly worried about the Kodama situation, so why does he want Kirishima to come to his apartment door?

_Does Asami-sama want to talk more about my blunder yesterday?_

Kirishima tries not to think too hard about it.

_This has been the worst twenty-four hours of my life._

He squares his shoulders as he steps off the elevator.

_Whatever will happen will happen. I’ll deal with it as it comes, just like I always do._

He rings Asami’s bell, pushing his glasses up his nose as he waits.

“Let yourself in,” Asami says over the intercom.

Kirishima pulls out his spare key and opens the door. Once inside, he removes his shoes in the genkan. He heads down the hall towards Asami’s office. Kirishima catches a glimpse of Akihito peeking down from the end of the hall, but Kirishima ignores him.

 _If he hadn’t arranged that stupid meeting last night in the same restaurant as Kodama-gumi members…_ Kirishima thinks angrily. He’s had a couple of hours to think about it, and the only scenario that makes sense to him is that Kou’s informant was a police officer. Kirishima knows that he and Asami weren’t followed by the police, and Yoneda’s team would have noticed if Takaba had been. The police don’t waste their time following civilians like Kou. Therefore, the police must have been observing the Kodama-gumi members.

Kirishima takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, and releases it before knocking at Asami’s open office door.

“Come in,” Asami says, not looking up from the report he’s reading.

Kirishima enters and stands next to Asami’s desk.

“What’s _he_ doing here?” Akihito asks angrily from the doorway.

“Ah, Takaba. I thought Kirishima might be the reason you wanted to accompany me to work again.”

“What the hell did you say to Kou? He said he never wants to talk to me again!” Akihito shouts, striding towards Kirishima.

“I’m sorry, Asami-sama, but this is something I have to do just once.”

Before Akihito can react, Kirishima has cocked back his fist and let it fly. He holds back as he punches Akihito, but the young man still ends up flat on his back.

Asami has risen from his chair, his face stormy with anger.

Kirishima stands up straight. “I have my pride as a man.”

“Kirishima, explain,” Asami says in a clipped tone. Kirishima can see the slight twitch of Asami’s trigger finger and knows that his boss is using every ounce of restraint that he possesses.

“Kou-san and I are finished – for good – thanks to the stunt he pulled last night.” Kirishima nods at Akihito on the word “he.”

“Don’t call me ‘he’; I have a name,” Akihito complains, rubbing his jaw as he slowly stands up. “And what do you mean, you broke up because of last night? When we left the restaurant, you were both all gooey-eyed at each other again!”

“That’s none of your business,” Kirishima says coldly.

“What the hell? How can you blame me for something I had nothing to do with? Did you convince Kou it was my fault, too?”

“I have no further relationship with Motomi-san,” Kirishima says, putting on his business mask. “Whatever decision he made about your friendship was his alone, and I said nothing to influence him. If you have a problem with him, perhaps you should take it up with him.”

“I can’t. He won’t answer my calls or texts,” Akihito says glumly.

“I warned you that if you meddled in other people’s affairs, it could cost you,” Asami says. “Now if you have no further business with me, kindly get out so I can get to work.”

“But Kou isn’t ‘other people’; he’s my best friend. Anyway, if Megane-san told Kou about your business, why are they both blaming me?!” Akihito bursts out.

“What?” Asami asks, going deadly still.

Kirishima knows he’s in even more danger than when Asami was twitching. “I didn’t. Someone saw us together last night; they were the one who told Kou-san.”

Akihito’s mouth falls slightly open. “Oh,” he breathes. “But who? One of those Kodama-gumi guys?”

“I’m guessing it was the police following those Kodama-gumi guys,” Kirishima says shortly.

“Well, that’s not my fault! Anyway, I don’t get why Kou’s so mad at me. I did try to warn him not to get close to you, but he wouldn’t listen!”

“Takaba, out. Now. I need to talk to Kirishima.”

Asami’s tone leaves no room for argument, not even from Akihito at his most cantankerous. He scurries from the room, closing the door behind him.

“Kirishima, explain. We have protocols for this.”

“I know. I already initiated them.”

“One of them is notifying me.”

“Which I just did. I only found out about it a couple of hours ago myself, and I’ve been doing damage control.”

“He knows about your guns,” Asami reminds Kirishima. “Does he know where you keep them?”

“Yes,” Kirishima admits. “Yoneda’s already implemented the salvage protocol.”

“You shouldn’t have picked me up,” Asami gripes. “Now I can’t carry my guns, either.”

Kirishima gulps. _I didn’t think of that. To be fair, though, neither did Suoh._

Asami sighs. “It’s too late now. Maybe I’ll just ask Takaba for a ride.”

“You need a helmet and jacket. Perhaps Yoneda –” Kirishima worries.

“I already ordered my own,” Asami says. “They arrived last week. But I’m surprised you’re not putting up more of a fuss.”

“Well, you really only have to worry about an ambush, and the motorcycle would be much better for escaping. To be honest, I really don’t think we have anything to worry about. Kou-san told me he didn’t betray me.”

“We can’t rely on that.”

“I know, but he’s not the type to lie. He’s stupidly honest.” Kirishima gives a nostalgic grin at the memory of Kou worrying about accidentally misleading his professor about Kou’s professional relationship with Asami.

“Honest, but also law-abiding. If he made a deal with the cops…” Asami says.

“I don’t think he’d do that – and _if_ he did, he wouldn’t go out of his way to lie to me and tell me he didn’t. But Takaba-san knows him far better than I do. Perhaps we should ask for his opinion on the situation.”

“That’s the second time in as many minutes you’ve shown confidence in someone you felt deserved a sucker punch not five minutes ago,” Asami observes overly casually.

Kirishima blushes as he stammers, “I really am sorry about that.”

“Don’t make a habit of testing the limits of my patience.” Asami keeps his tone casual, but Kirishima knows him well enough to know that Asami is deadly serious.

“Of course, Asami-sama.” Kirishima bows.

Asami strolls over to the intercom. “Takaba, could you come to my office, please?”

As Asami turns back around, Kirishima’s not quick enough to hide his look of surprise at Asami’s polite tone.

Asami shrugs. “He’ll come quicker and be more cooperative if I say ‘please.’ Besides, it keeps him on his toes.”

Kirishima has to work hard to keep the amusement off his face when Akihito slinks into the room a moment later, eying them both suspiciously.

Asami dives right into the issue at hand. “Is Motomi the kind of man who would rat someone out?”

“Of course not,” Akihito says stoutly. “What kind of question is that?”

“A very relevant one, after last night,” Asami says.

Akihito gulps, suddenly looking a bit chastened.

 _He actually cares about Asami-sama,_ Kirishima realizes for the first time.

“How certain are you? What if Motomi were intensely pressured, convinced he were helping society? Or even his friend?” Asami presses.

Kirishima adds, “Would he be willing to lie to someone to get them to let their guard down?”

Akihito rolls his eyes. “Of course not. You don’t even know that much about him? Sheesh.”

“How are you so certain?” Asami asks, locking eyes with Akihito.

Akihito sighs. “Look, Kou never ratted _anyone_ out – not even back in elementary school, and not even when he was blamed for someone else’s actions.” Akihito looks away for a moment as he blushes, but then his face suddenly lights up. He snaps his fingers. “Okay, here’s a story that’s so typical Kou, you’ll understand. Once during our senior year of high school, we were racing with Misaki – another classmate – on our bikes. Things got a little out of hand…”

Kirishima can feel his impatience growing as the story continues, but every time he tries to signal to Asami, Asami seems engrossed in the vivid description of the race.

“Anyway, in the end, Misaki ended up hitting this black Mercedes. Misaki’s bike came out mostly okay – just a small dent in the front fender and discoloration from the Mercedes’s paint, but the Mercedes had a really deep scratch across the entire driver’s side. Misaki got scared it belonged to a yakuza, so we hightailed it out of there.”

 _Is there a point to this story?_ Kirishima wonders but refrains from saying aloud.

“Someone in the neighborhood recorded Misaki’s plate number, but he ended up telling the cops that it was _Kou_ who hit the Mercedes. Kou got hauled down to the police station, but even then, he wouldn’t rat Misaki out.”

“Even though Misaki betrayed him?” Asami asks, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Yeah. It looked like they were going to throw the book at Kou – his mom was real worried he’d get kicked out of school if things went much further.”

“What happened?” Kirishima asks, having gotten sucked into the story despite himself.

“I went down to the station and told them what that asshole Misaki had done, of course,” Akihito says as if it were the only obvious ending to the story. “And when the morons didn’t believe me because Misaki’s dad is a cop, I brought them pictures of the damage to Misaki’s bike. Misaki caught me taking the pictures and fixed the bike the next day so he could claim I was trying to frame him out of loyalty to Kou, but I found the receipt for his repair, and the body shop confirmed that the pictures were legit. That’s how I got started in criminal photography.”

“But Motomi is an adult now. He’s no longer a rebellious juvenile delinquent,” Asami presses.

“Doesn’t matter,” Akihito says. “He still wouldn’t rat out someone he cares about.”

“Not even if that person betrayed him?”

“I just told you!” Akihito bursts out. “Sheesh, don’t you listen? Anyway, we’re still friends with Misaki. Misaki was pissed at me for a while, but he knew he’d been really shitty to Kou, so he understood why I ratted him out.”

“But Motomi is no longer friends with you,” Asami points out.

Akihito looks like he’s just been slapped. After a moment, he shakes his head and declares, “He will be eventually. It’s not like he just rolled over and forgave Misaki right away, either. Kou’s no pushover. But he’s also not going to betray someone just because he’s angry at them.”

“But you would?” Asami asks, gazing intently at Akihito.

Akihito looks up in surprise. “Hey! I wouldn’t have ratted out Misaki to save myself, but he threw Kou under the bus! I wasn’t going to let him get away with that.”

As Asami and Akihito’s conversation evolves into their weird version of flirtation, Kirishima opens his tablet and pulls up the profiles of Akihito’s friends and quickly finds Yoshida Misaki.

_Yoshida? Surely not…_

But sure enough, Misaki’s father is the same Yoshida who nearly brought down Sion eight years ago, when Asami had to regroup in Hong Kong and negotiate with Tou to replace the smuggling routes compromised by the police investigation.

_And he’s still in the Organized Crime Division. Higashiyamato Station. That clinches it._

Kirishima sighs.

_No wonder Kou-san freaked out. There’s a huge difference between using a gun for personal protection and smuggling them into the country illegally._

“Kirishima?” Asami asks, looking at him over Akihito’s shoulder.

“I figured out Kou-san’s source,” Kirishima says, already busy typing a coded message to Suoh to send over their secure, encrypted channel.

Sion’s spies in the police department have been keeping track of Yoshida’s investigations, and he hasn’t _officially_ tried to infiltrate Sion again after being reassigned, but cops like him tend to hold grudges. And after seeing Asami last night still walking as a free man, Yoshida is likely to start sniffing around again.

Once Asami has managed to get Akihito to leave the room, Kirishima brings Asami up to speed.

“It’s time we headed to Sion,” Asami says.

Kirishima starts gathering the reports on Asami’s desk while Asami lights a cigarette.

“You know, Kei, I knew when I assigned Yoh to Fei Long that I’d lose him eventually. But I also knew that he would fulfill his promise to me in the end.”

Kirishima looks up, wondering why Asami is telling him this. Asami is looking at Kirishima expectantly, so he asks the question he’s almost certain Asami is waiting for. “Then why did you assign him to Fei Long?”

“He was the right man for the job. The _only_ man for the job. I knew that he would be fascinated by Fei Long and become as devoted to him as he was to me. No one would have been able to fool Fei Long – not for seven minutes, much less seven years.”

“But his primary loyalty was always to you,” Kirishima reminds Asami.

“Was it? I wasn’t confident enough to put it to the test. Do you think I would have spent so much money on that deed just to let Fei Long save face? I had no intention of backing Yoh into a corner. If you know someone has conflicting loyalties, you’re a fool to force their hand and make them choose between them.”

Kirishima stares at Asami. Asami is never this frank about his weaknesses, not even with Kirishima.

“Why are you telling me this?” The question slips out of Kirishima’s mouth before he can stop it.

“Yoh never asked to be released from his fealty to me, but he knew that I recognized that he’d done enough at that point to fulfill any promise he’d ever made to me. It cost him what he’d built with Fei Long, but Yoh was able to serve us both faithfully to the end, even if Fei Long was too blind to recognize it.”

Kirishima bites his lip. He can guess where this is going, and it’s too dangerous to say anything.

“Suoh spoke to me earlier. Tell me honestly, do you think you’ve done enough already, Kei?”

“What?!” Kirishima bursts out. “I have no intention of backing out on the promise I made to you, Ryuichi. What the hell did Kazumi say?!”

Asami leans back in his chair and takes a big drag on his cigarette, visibly relaxing. “Good.”

_Good? That’s it?_

But Kirishima knows not to press his luck. He’ll just have to find out what Suoh said from the man himself – and give him a thorough chewing out.

 

As they head down to the parking garage after work, Kirishima asks Suoh, “Will you come to my place for a bit?”

“Sure,” Suoh says. “Need to talk?” He smiles sympathetically.

Kirishima scowls and doesn’t reply.

 

They’re barely inside Kirishima’s apartment when Suoh says, “So Motomi knows Yoshida, huh? Tough luck.”

Kirishima whirls around. “What the hell did you say to Ryuichi, Kazu-nii?”

Suoh stares at him in surprise for a moment. “What are you – oh, I just started laying the groundwork for what we discussed yesterday.”

“I told you I have no intention of backing out on my promise,” Kirishima says angrily.

“No, you didn’t,” Suoh says. “You said it was _too late_ to back out, but you never actually said you didn’t _want_ to.”

“I may not have used those exact words, but I thought I made myself pretty damn clear! Since you’re so thick-headed, I’ll say it again: I have no intention of ever backing out on my promise to Ryuichi.”

“Why are you so angry, Kei? I’m just trying to make sure that you can follow whatever path you choose.”

“I already chose my path! Just what kind of ideas are you putting into Ryuichi’s head? I’m already facing an uphill battle to regain his trust after yesterday’s blunder and today’s security nightmare. I don’t need you needlessly making things harder for me,” Kirishima grits out.

He’s never felt more like decking his cousin than he does right now. The only reason he holds back is that he doesn’t want to give Asami any more reason to think Kirishima has lost his self-control.

Suoh sighs. “I’m sorry. You just seem so… lost lately.”

“I do?” Kirishima asks. “Because of Kou-san? Just so you know, we broke up again. For good.”

“I heard. But I don’t think it’s that. I think Motomi was just a symptom.”

“You’ve been talking to Ryuichi too much,” Kirishima grumbles.

“What do you mean? Besides our conversation last night, we’ve barely talked about you.”

“Ryuichi thinks I’m going through a midlife crisis,” Kirishima grudgingly explains.

“Ah. So he’s noticed it, too.” Suoh nods.

“I –” Kirishima swallows. “I really like Kou-san, but when he asked me to choose between him and my job, he made the decision for me. I don’t regret the promise I made to Ryuichi.”

“But you regret who it’s turned you into,” Suoh says, his eyes boring into Kirishima’s.

Kirishima can’t completely deny it. “I was just surprised. I looked up for the first time in fifteen years and realized I wasn’t the person I thought I was. But if I were to go back on my promise to Ryuichi, I would _never_ be that person again.”

“There’s a lot more to life than work,” Suoh says.

“Look who’s talking,” Kirishima retorts.

Suoh chuckles. “I have my hobbies, even if I’m not the settling-down type right now. I might never be. But at least I _know_ that. This is the first time you’ve really taken the time to explore yourself. Tell me truthfully, did you ever even have another friend before Ryuichi? And I don’t count.”

Kirishima looks away. He can feel the blush creeping over his face.

“That’s what I thought.”

“But I can still explore things even though I’m no longer dating Kou-san,” Kirishima says. “I’m still doing parkour, and Tokawa-san is helping me adjust my workout schedule so I can keep up my fitness for the job at the same time.”

Kirishima doesn’t mention the conversation he had with Yoneda. _Was that the beginning of a friendship, or was it a one-off thing?_

Suoh studies Kirishima. “I’m glad you’re expanding your world – and paying more attention to who you are and who you want to be. But if you reach a point – emphasis on the _if_ , okay? – if you ever decide that you want to choose another path, I’ll make sure that’s open to you.”

“You don’t think there’s any way to keep my promise to Ryuichi without actually _working_ for him, do you?” Kirishima asks.

Suoh stares at him.

Kirishima quickly adds, “Yeah, that’s the same conclusion I came to, too.”

“I’d love to say there are other fish in the sea, but if Motomi is your type, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find someone who can handle your job. Ryuichi was insanely lucky to find Takaba. Don’t expect lightning to strike twice. But there are plenty of people willing to date men like us.”

Kirishima snorts. “Like the type you date? No thanks.”

“Hey, that’s rude! And I already told you, I’m not the settling-down type, so I wouldn’t mess around with someone who is. There’s a wide variety of people. I can show you where to look.”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I’m not interested in anyone else.”

“Well, of course you’re still hurting, but when you’re ready, just ask.”

Kirishima bites his lip so nothing will slip past.

_I’ll never be ready. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like Kou-san again. Kou-san said that my world already had color and I just need to look around, but it’s not the same without him. Can I really do this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song "Take This Waltz" by Leonard Cohen, which was adapted from the poem "Pequeño Vals Vienès" by Federico García Lorca. (If you know the song, it was a bit of foreshadowing since the full couplet is "Who is it climbs to your picture/ with a garland of freshly cut tears?")
> 
> I feel a little bad about the emotional roller coaster, but to be fair, it's largely the characters' doing - Asami and Akihito weren't supposed to give them enough time to talk last chapter, so it's all their fault.
> 
> And some might be upset about Aki and Kou, but I felt it had to happen that way.
> 
> There are still 3-8 chapters left (probably towards the higher end of that range). I'll leave them both in a good place, I promise.
> 
> I have no idea which story I'll work on next. Whichever is more persistent, though this story is being really insistent right now, so there's a good chance it will be more CMW.


	24. Kirishima's First Coloring Book (Parchment White)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kou told Kirishima his world has always had color. But will Kirishima be able to find it on his own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> Shinkansen: Japan's "bullet" train  
> genkan: the entrance to a Japanese home
> 
> The parkour spot they visit at the end of this chapter is the one featured in [this video](https://youtu.be/LGn6AfNQa_0?t=287).

“Good job, Kirishima-san,” Tokawa calls out as Kirishima passes by on his way to the next station.

Kirishima grins to himself as he knocks out ten burpees (with a pull-up at the top of every jump). He’s breathing hard, but he doesn’t feel like puking, and he has been able to maintain a decent pace throughout the twenty-minute workout. Each met-con has gotten a little easier, and while he’s usually still one of the slowest in class, he now finishes only two or three rounds behind the leader instead of five.

It’s been two months since the break-up. The day after his final talk with Kou, Kirishima had planned to skip the gym and wallow in bed until it was time to go to work. But a text from Yoneda woke him up.

_You’re coming to the gym today, right? I messed up that gate vault you taught me when I tried it yesterday. Can you teach me again, please?_

Kirishima froze. He knew Yoneda was guarding Takaba two nights earlier: the night he and Kou made up – and kissed in plain view of the restaurant window. But did Yoneda know about what happened yesterday? Was he guarding Takaba during his friendship breakup with Kou?

Kirishima sighed. He was being stupid. Yoneda must have suspected _something_ was up when he removed Kirishima’s guns from his apartment. Kirishima texted Yoneda back.

_I’m tired. I was thinking of skipping today._

_Sometimes when you’re tired, exercise can help lift your mood._

Kirishima stared at the message. Yoneda knew. Before Kirishima could compose himself to reply, Yoneda sent another text.

_Then again, sometimes you really do just need to… ‘rest.’_

Yoneda definitely knew… which meant everyone else at Sion probably knew, too, knowing how rumors spread. Kirishima sighed again.

_You know, don’t you?_

_Know what?(^_^;)_

Kirishima remembered how much Yoneda’s advice had helped when trying to reconcile with Kou. Kirishima realized he never really properly thanked Yoneda.

_Thanks again for your advice. It worked – until Kou-san found out too much._

_Sorry things didn’t work out for you._

_Well, it can’t be helped. Um…_

_Yes?_

_How many other people know?_

_About you and Motomi-san?_

_Yes._

_Well… I mean, it’s part of his file, so everyone who’s part of his surveillance team knows. But we’re all professional. It’s not like we discuss your private business._

_I see._

_Is that why you don’t want to come to the gym? I promise it’s fine. No one is going to say anything to you about it._

_No, but they’ll be thinking… things._

_They won’t. They know how to be professional. Is this because I brought it up when we met in Odaiba? I’m sorry. I really should have minded my own business._

_No, please don’t apologize. Your advice really was helpful. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable._

_You didn’t. Let’s not get stuck in an endless apology circle. (^_^;)_

_Okay. (^_^;)_

_Look, if you really don’t want to come to the gym, that’s fine. But please don’t let worries about how we’ll behave keep you away. It’s better to keep coming, and things will be the same as always._

_Well…_

_That makes a lot of sense, actually. I’ll see you soon, I guess._

_Yay! I expect another lesson on that gate vault._

 

And so Kirishima had continued to go to the parkour gym. When he met with Tokawa to discuss his fitness goals, he still didn’t have a big goal in mind, but Tokawa took care of that for him.

“I’ve been thinking about how you can combine your love of hiking and the outdoors with parkour, and I discovered there’s a mud run at Camp Fuji in June,” Tokawa told him excitedly.

“Mud run?” Kirishima asked blankly.

Tokawa pulled out his phone and showed Kirishima a short video. “It’s five kilometers, with about twenty to thirty obstacles of varying difficulties.”

“And mud?” Kirishima asked, wrinkling his nose faintly.

“That just makes some of the obstacles harder,” Tokawa explained. “Look, they have a team competition as well as an individual competition. Some of the other guys are interested in the team event, too, but you could also do the individual event if that’s more your style.”

Kirishima wasn’t sure about the race that many participants called “the toughest thing I’ve ever done,” but he’d gone ahead and signed up to be on a team with Yoneda and Sakuragi. _Kou-san told me not to forget to look around me. I’ve got to color my own world now._

 

“Time!” Tokawa calls as Kirishima finishes his last pull-up.

Tokawa starts recording the number of rounds everyone’s completed. The other guys enthusiastically call out their scores. Kirishima, as usual, waits to call out his until closer to the end.

“Nine,” Sakuragi calls out.

“Really? I could have sworn you lapped me twice,” Saji says, raising his eyebrows. “Did I only get seven?”

“Nah. I didn’t finish my last one. I was two precision jumps away,” Sakuragi says, groaning in frustration. “I’m sure Yoneda creamed me again.”

“I only got ten,” Yoneda says. “I was only a couple of exercises into the round.”

“You still beat me,” Sakuragi says.

“Kirishima-san?” Tokawa calls out.

“Nine,” Kirishima says quietly, trying not to look too pleased with himself.

Several of the other guys clap.

Sakuragi pats Kirishima on the shoulder. “Great job, teammate. See? You did as well as me.”

“I barely finished that last round,” Kirishima explains. He’s been worried that he’ll slow Sakuragi and Yoneda down in their race, despite the other two’s assurances that they’re happy to have him on their team. Not wanting to be a burden has been one of his main motivations for working so hard at Tokawa’s intense conditioning program.

“Finishing is what counts,” Sakuragi says. “Anyway, you’ve made amazing progress the past two months.”

“Yeah, no more puking in the trashcan.” Kirishima grins.

“That means you’re not working hard enough,” Yoneda teases.

“Like you’ve ever puked mid-workout,” Sakuragi retorts.

“Nah, but I have afterwards.”

“You had food poisoning. That doesn’t count.”

As they head to the locker room, Saji crows, “Yakiniku on Yoneda!”

Yoneda rolls his eyes. “Not that stupid ‘winner has to treat everyone else again’. That’s getting really old.”

“I’ll treat,” Kirishima offers.

“You don’t have to, Kirishima-san,” the others say.

“I know, but I _want_ to. Don’t think this will become the new tradition or anything, though, Saji-kun.” Kirishima warns as he towels off before donning a fresh t-shirt.

 

Kirishima takes in the easy banter as the guys wait for their meat to cook over the charcoal grill. He grins softly to himself. _Is this what having friends feels like?_

Sure, Asami has been a great friend to Kirishima, but their relationship began as one of senpai-kouhai, and it quickly became one of boss-subordinate when Kirishima started working for Asami’s tailoring (and contraband courier) business while they were still in high school. And Suoh doesn’t really count as a friend since he’s family.

Granted, Kirishima is the guys’ superior, and that relationship is respected through the honorifics they use with one another, but he’s not their supervisor, and since they almost exclusively interact outside of the work environment, their relationship feels more like friends than coworkers. Kirishima is included in the playful ribbing, and he’s learned to give as good as he takes. None of the guys have ever taken it too far or made him feel inferior because of his lack of certain skills or athletic prowess – or even his social awkwardness.

Yoneda in particular has been very supportive of Kirishima. Not long after the break-up, in the locker room before practice the guys talked about setting up another outdoor parkour jam. They started hounding Kirishima for good spots, and Yoneda spoke up and said that they should discuss it on Twitter after the workout.

When the others went out to the gym to warm up, Yoneda asked Kirishima to hang back with him. “Are you worried about showing up at the same spot as Motomi-san?”

Kirishima nodded. “He showed me all the spots I know.”

“And he practices with Takaba-san, too… Takaba-san would be livid to find us at any of his spots.”

“Exactly,” Kirishima agreed.

“I’ll ask Tokawa-san for a few spots, and then I’ll text you their names, and you can tell the guys, okay?”

“You don’t mind?” Kirishima asked, surprised that Yoneda would go that far for him.

“If I tell them the spots Tokawa-san suggests, they’ll keep asking _you_ for more spots. They might keep asking about Musashino, but if we get enough spots closer to here, maybe they’ll forget about that.”

“Was that time in Odaiba the first time any of you trained outside?” Kirishima asked.

“Kind of. When we first started learning, we went to a spot Tokawa-san recommended, but we didn’t really know what to look for and only managed to practice a couple of moves,” Yoneda admitted. “You saw it in Odaiba – I didn’t realize how many moves we could practice at that one spot. It’s different when I’m following Takaba-san; I just copy what he does, or figure out an easier way if what he’s done is too crazy.”

“I guess when you train in a gym, you get used to doing the moves there,” Kirishima said.

“Probably. I guess we expected there would be similar places outside, like you see in those parkour videos online. But when I was watching you guys at the university, each individual area didn’t have that much to practice, so you moved around and did what you could at each place, same as Odaiba.”

“Exactly,” Kirishima confirmed. “I’ve seen a few videos, too. I assume they cut out the movement from one place to another.”

“That makes sense,” Yoneda said. “Well, I’ll send you what I can squeeze out of Tokawa-san. Anyway, since you’ve got a good eye, we’ll be able to practice more moves at each of the spots he suggests.”

Yoneda had proven as good as his word, and Kirishima shared with the guys a few spots Tokawa recommended that Kirishima hadn’t been to with Kou. Outside parkour jams had become a biweekly event, and while no one could make all of them, Kirishima arranged his schedule to make at least one of them each week.

 

A few days after they signed up for the mud run together, Yoneda confessed to Kirishima and Sakuragi that he had no experience trail running or even hiking, and that he’d fallen four times in the first kilometer when he tried running on a “moderate” level of trail. Kirishima discovered that his hiking experience translated well to trail running. It came intuitively to him, but when Sakuragi and Yoneda struggled, Kirishima was able to break down what he was doing to maintain speed and footing into concrete suggestions.

The teammates have been going on weekly trail runs of gradually increasing difficulty together, and these long runs have given them a chance to bond. Yoneda continues to have challenges in his long-distance relationship. A couple of weeks ago, a mile into their run, he said, “I don’t know how much longer Shiharu-tan and I will last. She’s getting more and more frustrated with how little we can even talk, between my crazy schedule and her increasing duties taking care of her grandfather.”

“Has he gotten worse?” Sakuragi asked.

“Sort of. But the doctors can’t say whether he has six months left or six years left. And it’s not like it’s a linear thing. Sometimes he seems completely lucid and normal, but most of the time he doesn’t really know where he is or who anyone is. It changes day by day. Hell, sometimes it changes minute by minute.”

“That must be really hard on the whole family,” Kirishima said.

“Yeah. Most of the time he calls Shiharu-tan by her mother’s name. It’s really hard on her; she says it feels like he’s completely forgotten she ever existed.”

“Does she take care of him around the clock?” Kirishima asked.

“No. She works at a department store, but she cares for him a lot when she’s at home, to give her mother a break.”

“When was the last time _she_ got a break?” Sakuragi asked.

“Not for a long time,” Yoneda said. “Even when I visited last month, we spent most of our time in the house just in case her grandfather needed anything.”

“When was the last time she visited you?” Kirishima asked.

“Not since about two months after I moved here,” Yoneda admitted. “It’s a lot easier on her if I go there, and I’m the one who moved away…”

“But it sounds like she needs a break, and she can’t really get one there. Besides, it’s important that she understands what your life is like here so she can still feel like she’s a part of it. Why don’t you invite her for a visit? Explain it to Suoh and I’m sure you can get a few days off in a row.”

“The rest of us would definitely be willing to cover the extra shifts for you,” Sakuragi chimed in.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Yoneda said, breaking out into a grin. Then his face fell. “But where would she stay? We’re not supposed to have overnight guests in the corporate apartments. I guess I could get a hotel room…” He started muttering to himself as he calculated the costs of the Shinkansen ticket.

“You can borrow my place,” Kirishima offered, surprising himself. “It’s just me, and I don’t mind.”

“You’d really do that?!” Yoneda asked. “I couldn’t possibly…”

“Really, it wouldn’t be a problem. We can just trade for a few days. Anyway, the corporate apartments are even closer to work than my place, so it’d save me time.”

Yoneda continued to protest until finally Sakuragi interceded. “Dude, just accept it. You and Shiharu-san both need a break, and someone’s finally offering you one.”

“Thank you,” Yoneda said. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“You don’t have to,” Kirishima said, blushing a little, though he doubted anyone would notice since they were running. “Take it as payback for your advice earlier.”

 

Yoneda’s girlfriend is arriving today. As they leave the yakiniku place, Kirishima tells Yoneda, “I left my spare key at home. Do you want to meet me there? Or I can give you a ride over…”

“I’ve got my bike. I’ll meet you there, but thanks for the offer.”

Kirishima ends up driving behind Yoneda. As Kirishima watches Yoneda lean into the turns, Kirishima’s heart is filled with an aching longing. Even though he has his own helmet and jacket, he hasn’t been on a motorcycle since the break-up. He misses the sensation of tearing down the road, the world a blur of colors, wind, and engine’s thrum. But most of all, he misses the warmth and solidness of Kou’s back anchoring him to reality.

Suoh suggested last week that Kirishima consider getting his own motorcycle license and bike, but Kirishima can’t imagine the experience without Kou. Kirishima pushes the memories out of his mind as he parks in a visitor’s spot and waves Yoneda into Kirishima’s assigned spot.

“The elevator is over there,” Kirishima says, leading Yoneda back along the row of spaces as he points across a metal barricade towards the opposite side of the garage.

“You don’t think I can handle your underbar shortcut?” Yoneda flashes a teasing grin.

Kirishima chuckles. “Good point.” He changes course and leads Yoneda the direct way, slipping between two bars of the barricade and through two slightly offset bars of the adjacent barricade protecting the facing row of cars.

Yoneda’s eyebrows shoot up. “No wonder you got so good at underbars so quickly. When you described it, I envisioned big gaps like there were in the railings on that staircase in Odaiba.”

Kirishima shrugs.

Yoneda performs the underbar flawlessly on his first attempt.

“You got pretty good at them quickly yourself,” Kirishima points out. “The first dozen times I tried it, I nailed my shins on the bar.”

Yoneda leans back over the barricade. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

Kirishima looks over the barricade, too, observing the narrow gap between the barricades that affords a view of the very bottom of the parking deck three floors below. “I’m not. But I never really looked before. It’s too narrow to fall down, and you’d really have to screw up the underbar to have any risk even if it weren’t.”

“True,” Yoneda agrees, still staring down between the barricades.

Kirishima looks at him more closely. “Are you?”

“Am I what?” Yoneda asks, leading the way to the door to the elevators.

“Afraid of heights. You are?” Kirishima asks incredulously. _How is he able to chase Takaba-san across rooftops?_

“Only if I stop to think about it,” Yoneda confesses. “As long as I practice enough, I get used to it.”

Kirishima leads the way to his apartment, taking care to point out the location of the fitness facility and trash receptacles on their way up.  Once inside, he gives Yoneda a brief tour.

“I’ve cleared out a little space in the closet. I hope it’s enough,” Kirishima says, opening the door to show Yoneda. “And here’s an empty drawer.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Yoneda says.

“It’s okay; it was already empty,” Kirishima replies. He hasn’t had the heart to put anything in it after Kou emptied it. Wanting to distract himself, Kirishima leans down and pulls open the cabinet where he stores the extra futon. “There’s a spare futon in here if you need it. Or not.”

Kirishima fights to keep the blush off his face as he closes the cabinet again. He decides it’s time to head to a safer room: the kitchen.

“I made a few dishes if you want to eat them. You don’t have to, of course, but in case you’re hungry and don’t want to eat out or feel like cooking. Feel free to use whatever you find in here.”

Yoneda gapes at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think to do anything like that. I have no idea what’s in my fridge. Why don’t you take what you cooked with you so that you have good food to eat over there? My kitchen is not nearly as nice.”

“It’s fine. I made it for you,” Kirishima insists.

“You’re already being so nice to me. I still can’t believe you offered to let me borrow your apartment. I really shouldn’t have accepted it.” Yoneda’s frown deepens.

“It’s fine. It’s really the least I can do to thank you,” Kirishima presses.

“For our conversation in Odaiba? That was hardly anything, and anyway, it didn’t even really help you, did it?” Yoneda says.

“It really did, at least until that whole Yoshida mess happened,” Kirishima says quietly, “but it’s not about that. Well, it is a little, but you’ve really helped me these past couple of months. If you hadn’t encouraged me to come back to the gym right away, I probably wouldn’t have ever gone back, and I’d have gone back to my old workaholic habits and pretended everything was okay.”

“Aren’t you doing that anyway?” Yoneda asks. “Are you really okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kirishima says quickly. Yoneda continues to quietly study him, so Kirishima considers the question for a moment before answering again. “I really am fine. I wouldn’t have come back to the gym if you hadn’t urged me to, and then I wouldn’t be training for the mud run, wouldn’t be able to talk to you and Sakuragi-kun on our runs, wouldn’t be attending any parkour jams or unwinding with yakiniku afterwards. It might be presumptuous of me to say, but I really value your friendship. I – I really respect Asami-sama, but there are some things you just can’t say to your boss.” By the time he’s finished, Kirishima’s face is aflame.

Yoneda grins. “Like offering unsolicited love advice?”

“I’m not your boss,” Kirishima points out. “Not directly. Look, I’m still sad about the break-up, but I’m trying to move on with my life. You’ve been a big part in helping me to do that, so thank you.”

Kirishima’s blush has faded a little as he’s said this, but now Yoneda’s cheeks are turning a bit pink. “Well, you and Sakuragi have been a great help to me, too. I seriously don’t think Shiharu-tan and I would have made it without your help and advice. I really hope this visit helps.” Yoneda lets out a shaky breath.

“Me too,” Kirishima says softly.

 

Two days later, Kirishima is lacing up his sneakers in Yoneda’s genkan when there’s a knock at the door. Sakuragi and Saji are there. “You ready to head to the park?” Sakuragi asks.

Kirishima nods as he picks up his parkour bag (a much smaller – and lighter – bag than his usual gym bag, since it only contains a water bottle, sunscreen, bug spray, a face towel, and a small first aid kit). The trio head down the stairs to the parking garage.

“Are you heading back here after the jam?” Kirishima asks.

“Yeah,” the other two answer. Sakuragi adds, “The others are coming straight from their shifts, so they’re riding separately.”

“I can drive us all then,” Kirishima offers.

 

Thirty minutes later, he pulls into the parking lot of Hanegi Park in Setagaya. “This is pretty close to Kodama headquarters,” he mutters.

“We’ll be careful,” Sakuragi says. “Besides, we’re dressed in our gym clothes. I don’t think they’d even recognize you.”

Kirishima glances down at his attire. _They probably wouldn’t recognize me without Asami-sama next to me whatever I was wearing_ , he admits to himself.

“Is this it?” Saji asks, looking across the road at the tree-lined playground.

“This is awesome,” Sakuragi says. “Look at all those rails. So many great lines to choose from.”

“We can hit the rails on the way back to the car if you guys haven’t had enough,” Kirishima says. “But let’s check out the _real_ spot first.”

Sakuragi’s eyebrows shoot up. He’s been trying to train outdoors as often as possible in preparation for the mud run, and he knows that the current location would usually be considered a great spot.

Kirishima leads them around the baseball fields. When the play area with concrete walls and rails taking advantage of the naturally hilly landscape comes into view, even Saji gives a low whistle.

“Wait until you see the maze,” Kirishima says.

“Over here!” Yoneda calls. “This is Shiharu-tan,” he says, gesturing to a pretty, shy-looking girl beside him. “She wanted to meet my friends.”

Yoneda introduces them in turn. When he says Kirishima’s name, Shiharu says, “Oh! You’re the one who lent us your apartment. Thank you very much. That was so kind of you.”

Kirishima takes in Shiharu’s jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. “Are you going to practice parkour with us?” he asks.

Shiharu shakes her head. “I don’t really know how.”

Sakuragi nudges Yoneda.

“I can teach you a few things,” Yoneda says.

Shiharu breaks into a broad grin. “Finally.”

Everyone laughs.

“I didn’t know you wanted to!” Yoneda protests.

“He’s kind of clueless, Shiharu-san,” Sakuragi apologizes.

“I know,” Shiharu says. “I suppose I could have asked myself.”

 

They’ve just finished warming up when Saijo, one of the other guards, calls out to them from across the park. He sprints over, out of breath, casting a worried look at Kirishima.

“What is it?” Kirishima asks.

“It’s, uh –” Saijo glances at Yoneda for assistance, but Yoneda just raises his eyebrows. “Um, Motomi-san and Tokawa-san are out for a run. They started at the gym, but they seem to be heading in this direction.”

“Are you sure? How far away are they?” Yoneda asks.

“Less than a kilometer. We couldn’t get close enough to confirm without potentially being compromised, but at this point, there aren’t any other destinations that seem likely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I could take this chapter a little further, but it got too long, and this seemed like a good stopping point. I plan to write one from Kou's perspective soon, though I don't know yet whether it will be the next one or the one following (I'm leaning towards the one following the next).
> 
> I'll probably write another chapter of this story next since I already have some material for it. We're getting closer to the ending, but there are at least five more chapters left, probably more.


	25. A Scent of Jasmine and a Rasp of Sand (Buff)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What secret will someone from the security team share? And more importantly, what will happen when Kirishima finally sees Kou again after two months?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The smell of jasmine makes people tell their secrets." – Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> parkour terms:  
> tracing: practicing parkour
> 
> [safety vault](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fl28CLxC-w): a safe, easy way of jumping over an object by placing opposite hand and foot on it
> 
> [kong vault](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXH7FHfMCH0): a method of jumping over an object by placing both hands on the object and passing one's feet between one's hands
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> izakaya: a type of Japanese bar that also sells food
> 
> Remember that in Japanese, when you're talking about a third person, their gender is not obvious the way it often is in English (through the use of "he"/"she").

Kirishima feels a buzzing in his ears. He shakes his head. He wants nothing more than to see Kou – but Kirishima still hasn’t figured out a way to keep his vow to Asami without working for him.

_“If I fail a background check, I won’t qualify for a visa.”_

Kirishima shakes his head again. _I’m too close to Kodama-gumi headquarters. I can’t run into Kou-san here._ “I’ve got to go,” Kirishima says. He takes off towards the car.

“Kirishima-san, calm down!” Yoneda calls, but Kirishima isn’t listening.

Kirishima only makes it ten steps before remembering he gave Sakuragi and Saji a ride. He turns around and trots back to Sakuragi, handing him the car keys. “I’ll take the train back. You take the car when you’re done.”

“Wait, Kirishima-san!” Sakuragi says, putting a hand on Kirishima’s shoulder to stop him.

“We’ve all got to leave,” Yoneda explains. “Tokawa-san knows us. There would be too many questions, especially if he mentions you.”

“It’d blow our cover,” Saijo explains.

Yoneda scowls at Saijo before taking a quick glance at Shiharu and frowning at her worried expression.

“Okay, let’s go then,” Kirishima says. He knows how fast both Tokawa and Kou can run.

“It’ll be okay,” Saijo says as they head towards the car. “I can find out which way they’re coming. They won’t see us.” He listens to his radio and directs them back towards the parking lot.

Kirishima takes several deep breaths. He glances over and notices that Shiharu and Yoneda are trying to hide a whispered argument. “Yoneda-kun, you can tell Shiharu-san about my relationship with Kou-san,” he announces.

Everyone looks at him in surprise.

“Kou-san is my ex-boyfriend. He’s friends with the owner of the parkour gym.” Kirishima looks intently at Shiharu. “This is top secret information, okay?” She nods. “You know that Yoneda-kun is on the security team. Even the most casual sharing of anything I’m about to tell you could endanger Yoneda-kun’s charges – and Yoneda-kun himself.”

“I understand,” Shiharu says. “I know how to keep a secret.”

“Good.” Kirishima glances around to make sure no one can overhear them. “Someone in one of the upper leadership’s family has a job related to criminal investigation. Yoneda-kun actually leads the team protecting that person, especially on the job. Kou-san is good friends with that person; that’s how I met him. And Kou-san helped him recently on an investigation, so at my request, the team has been providing protection to Kou-san. But Kou-san doesn’t know about it. Even though we’ve broken up, I still want him to be safe, but if he finds out I’ve been having people follow him…”

Shiharu nods. “I get it. Thanks for telling me. And don’t worry; I won’t tell anyone.”

Yoneda shoots Kirishima a grateful look.

They gather around Kirishima’s car in the parking lot. “I can give everyone a ride back to the dorms, but it would be a tight squeeze,” Kirishima offers.

“I’ve got my bike, but we’ve still got time. Let’s just move to another spot,” Yoneda says.

The other guys enthusiastically agree.

“How about Shinjuku Chuo Park?” Sakuragi suggests.

Kirishima really isn’t feeling it anymore; he just wants to be alone. _But I drove everyone else._

Yoneda claps a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. It’s better than thinking too much, right?”

Kirishima nods.

 

When he’s concentrating on parkour moves, Kirishima is glad he came. But while he’s taking a break, waiting for his next turn, his mind keeps wandering to Kou. _I wish I could have at least seen him. I wonder how he’s doing._

When the others talk to Kirishima, they have to say his name several times before he realizes it. Finally, Yoneda sits down next to him.

“He’s… doing okay,” Yoneda says quietly, choosing his words carefully. “He spends most of his time at home or outside practicing parkour alone, or rarely with one of a few different friends. I don’t know if this is typical, but he traces for two to three hours at a time. Most days he’s getting at least two sessions in.”

Kirishima nods. “Thanks. Sorry I’m bringing the mood down.”

“It’s okay. You’re not. We’re just worried about you,” Yoneda says.

“I’m fine. I just…” Kirishima sighs. “He said we could stay together if… if I give up my job. But that’s impossible.”

“But you want to,” Yoneda says.

“No! I mean…”

“I understand. I wish I could erase the miles between Tokyo and home, so that I could see Shiharu-tan more often but still have my life here.”

“It’s different,” Kirishima says, trying to keep the bitterness he’s feeling out of his voice.

“I know. Sorry. I wish I could help you figure out a way to have both. Or could help you... move on. But you’re not ready for that yet, are you?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “Kou-san was the first person I ever liked,” he confesses. “I don’t know if I’ll ever meet anyone else like him.”

“Well… No one is the same. But when you’re ready, I’m sure you could find someone you like as much – maybe even more – and who’s okay with your job. You weren’t really looking before meeting him, right?”

Kirishima gives a sad laugh. “I wasn’t even looking when I _met_ him. I never would have chosen to fall for Takaba-san’s best friend.”

Yoneda nods. “They haven’t met since…”

“Their friendship break-up?” Kirishima guesses.

Yoneda nods. “I’m not sure they’ll ever make up. Takaba-san has stopped going over to his house.”

Kirishima sighs. “They’ve known each other since childhood. I suppose that’s my fault.”

Yoneda shrugs. “It sounds like he was mad at Takaba-san because of what Takaba-san chose to do.”

“But Takaba-san couldn’t betray Asami-sama. I put him in the position where he had to choose.” _Thank goodness he did choose Asami-sama. Asami-sama never would have forgiven me if he hadn’t._

“You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

They both lapse into silence for a few moments.

Yoneda finally breaks the silence. He focuses on Sakuragi’s run across a series of railings as he says, “Uh… Shiharu-tan asked me something as we were getting on the bike. I pretended I didn’t hear her, but I’m sure she’ll ask me again. I wanted to ask how you wanted me to answer.” Yoneda blushes slightly.

“What is it?” Kirishima asks.

“She asked if Motomi-san was a guy.”

Kirishima laughs. “Well, he is. I don’t mind if you tell her. Will she mind? Will it weird her out, staying at my place?”

Yoneda finally looks at him. “No. The opposite. She’s a bit of a fujoshi.”

“What’s that?”

“A fan of boys’ love manga.”

“Oh.” Kirishima blushes slightly but shrugs. “Well, like I said, Kou-san _is_ a guy. It’s better not to lie unless you have to.”

“Like you did back there,” Yoneda says. “Technically everything you told her about my job was true. Thanks for that.”

Kirishima shrugs. “It’s tricky, knowing how much is safe to share. If you don’t share _anything_ , it makes people more suspicious. I’ve had a lot of experience finding that balance.” _So why did I screw it up so badly with Kou-san?_

They watch Shiharu’s attempt at the line. She’s already doing safety vaults at speed, but her attempt at a kong vault results in her slamming her shins on the bar.

Yoneda rushes over to her.

“I’m okay. I guess that one is harder than it looks,” Shiharu says sheepishly.

“My friend had me practice the movement on the ground first.” Kirishima demonstrates how to practice konging across the ground. “Once you can comfortably land with your feet past your hands, then it’s safe to try it on an obstacle.”

Shiharu nods and tries it. Ten minutes later, she tries it on the railing again and clears it.

“You should take her to the gym,” Kirishima suggests. “I think she’ll enjoy it, and it’ll give you a chance to show off a little, too.” He elbows Yoneda.

 

That night after work, Kirishima is sitting alone in Yoneda’s room when someone knocks on the door.

“Kirishima-san, I hope I’m not bothering you!” Sakuragi calls.

Kirishima opens the door, grinning as he says, “Of course you’re bothering me. Don’t you know how late it is?”

“Saji said he rode up the elevator with you. I knew you wouldn’t be asleep yet,” Sakuragi explains. “Anyway, we’re playing video games in my apartment if you’d like to join us.”

“I’ve never played video games before,” Kirishima confesses.

Sakuragi’s eyebrows fly up. “You’re kidding. Then you’ve _got_ to come. Hurry up and put on your shoes.”

Kirishima complies and follows Sakuragi down the hall to his apartment. When Sakuragi opens the door, Saji shoots a quick glance at them before returning his attention to the screen where he’s locked in a fierce gun battle with Saijo. “Oh, great! You convinced –” Saji cusses as his screen turns red. “Sorry, Kirishima-san,” he mutters, setting his controller aside.

Kirishima laughs. “It’s fine.”

“Can I get you something to drink?” Sakuragi offers. “And we have snacks.” He gestures to a bag of chips on the table.

“I’ll just have some tea, thanks,” Kirishima says.

Sakuragi hands him a can of tea.

“Let’s play co-op. Kirishima-san says he’s never played before,” Sakuragi suggests.

“Call of Duty? A first person shooter?” Saji asks.

“Any video game,” Sakuragi says. “Right?”

Kirishima nods, his face flushing. “My family was very traditional.”

“But you’ve never even been to an arcade?” Saijo gapes at him.

Kirishima shakes his head. “I went to a boarding school, and it was pretty strict. There was no arcade nearby.” _That didn’t stop Togawa and his gang from sneaking out to go play occasionally, but they never invited me…_ Kirishima can feel his cheeks flushing.

“Well, that’s fine. We’ll teach you. It’s fun,” Saji says. He hands Kirishima a controller and quickly explains how to use it.

“There are too many buttons,” Kirishima gripes.

“You’ll get used to it,” Sakuragi assures him.

At first, Kirishima keeps walking into walls and getting shot, but he soon gets the hang of it.

“I knew you’d be good,” Sakuragi grins. “Some experiences translate well to video games, right?”

Kirishima eyes him. Even in the corporate apartments, Sion guards are trained to be very careful with what they say. Kirishima clears his throat and says, “Yeah, I guess all that time multitasking on my tablet helps.”

“I was thinking more of the quick reflexes you developed in parkour,” Sakuragi says, grinning mischievously.

“That too.” Kirishima chuckles.

During the next cut scene, Saji opens another beer for himself.

“Aren’t you hitting it pretty heavy?” Saijo asks. “Don’t forget, Yoneda isn’t supposed to cover if we need more guards on a shift.”

“I know,” Saji says. “This will be my last one.” He sighs.

Kirishima glances between them with concern. “Is this a common occurrence?” he asks, frowning.

“Don’t go into boss mode,” Saji pleads. “It’s not, I swear. Right, guys?”

Sakuragi and Saijo both nod.

“So is something going on with you, Saji?” Sakuragi asks.

Saji blushes. “No…”

Sakuragi and Saijo both put down their controllers. “Something totally is,” Saijo says. “Spill.”

“It’s nothing,” Saji says. He picks up his controller. “Can’t we just play?”

“If that will make it easier for you to talk to us,” Sakuragi says, picking up his own controller again.

“Sheesh. You guys are making it into such a big deal, there’s no way I can talk about it now,” Saji gripes.

“Then we won’t bring it up. Just start talking when you’re ready,” Kirishima says. “Now how do I change weapons again?”

Sakuragi shoots him a look but explains the procedure again. “You’ve already changed weapons like six times,” Sakuragi mutters.

“Give him space,” Kirishima mutters back.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Saji casually asks, “So, Kirishima-san, how old were you when you figured out you were gay?”

Kirishima drops his controller. His character immediately dies.

“Saji!” Saijo cries. “Isn’t that a little personal?”

As Kirishima picks up his controller, he looks at Saji, but Saji is focusing intently on the screen. A suspicion begins to form in the back of Kirishima’s mind. “I’m not sure I am,” he admits. Saji’s face falls slightly, so Kirishima continues, “Kou-san was the first person I ever liked, so I guess… thirty-five.”

“Oh.” Saji says.

“How old were you?” Kirishima asks.

It’s Saji’s turn to drop his controller. The team fails their mission as Sakuragi and Saijo both turn and stare between Kirishima and Saji.

“I – um – I – I – I don’t know that I am,” Saji stutters.

“It’s okay if you are,” Kirishima says. “No one here is going to judge you, right?”

Saijo and Sakuragi both nod.

Saji takes a deep breath. His face is red, but he says, “I’ve suspected since high school, but I thought I could just ignore it. You know, date girls like everyone else, get married, have a normal life. But lately…”

“Is there someone you’re interested in?” Sakuragi asks.

“No!” Saji says too quickly. His face grows redder.

“There is!” Saijo cries. “We can tell by that face you’re making.”

“It’s not anyone on the team, though! You guys are like family. I would never look at you like that.”

_It must be someone he saw today for him to get so worked up about it now._ “Is it Kou-san?” Kirishima asks, trying to keep his tone neutral.

Saji stares at him. “Dude. What kind of question is that? He’s totally off limits.”

“So… Tokawa-san?” Sakuragi guesses.

Saji is now the color of an overripe tomato. “I can’t help it. But I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”

“Dude, even if he’s not, you can’t start dating Tokawa-san,” Saijo says. “He’s our trainer.”

“I know,” Saji says. “But the way he moves…” He shrugs helplessly. “So I figure I better admit it and find someone else quick.”

“And you want us to help you find someone?” Sakuragi guesses.

“I was thinking maybe Kirishima-san knows where I could meet someone,” Saji admits. “But I guess maybe I was wrong.”

“I’ve been to Ni-chōme with Asami-sama more than a few times over the years,” Kirishima says. “I know quite a few places. If your type is Tokawa-san, the best place to go would be Geinki.” Kirishima’s face clouds as he remembers the bar where he and Kou went the night they first met.

“Want to go now?” Saijo asks. He stands up.

“It’s three a.m.,” Sakuragi points out, “but let’s go tomorrow night when we get off work.”

“I’m working the overnight shift tomorrow,” Saijo grumbles.

“You guys would come with me?” Saji asks.

“Of course,” the other three say in unison.

Saji blushes. “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“No weirder than you coming to Dracaena with us when we’re picking up girls,” Sakuragi retorts.

“I won’t be able to go until next week if we don’t do it tomorrow,” Kirishima says.

“Then let’s make it tomorrow,” Saji declares. “Sorry, Saijo.”

Saijo shrugs. “It can’t be helped. Kirishima-san is your tour guide, after all.”

This makes Kirishima and Saji both blush. Kirishima picks up his controller. “Are we going to beat this mission or what?”

 

The next night at work, Kirishima tells Asami, “After midnight, Morita-kun will be taking over for me.”

Asami’s eyebrows fly up. “You have… plans?”

Asami seems to have changed the last word of the question at the last moment, but Kirishima can’t figure out what Asami might have been about to say, and Kirishima doesn’t have time to ponder it.

“Yes, with some of the guys from the security team.”

“Where are you going?” Asami asks.

“Ni-chōme.” The answer slips out before Kirishima can bite it back.

He’s filled with instant regret as Asami’s trademark smirk flashes. “Perhaps I’ll join you.”

“You can’t,” Kirishima says, quickly adding, “You’ve got too much work to do.”

“I’m sure that could be rearranged,” Asami says.

Kirishima fights the urge to roll his eyes. “The guys won’t be able to relax if you’re there, Asami-sama. Please don’t ruin it for them.”

“But they can relax with you?”

“I’m not their direct supervisor. Or their direct supervisor’s direct supervisor,” Kirishima explains.

_Why would Asami-sama want to go to Ni-chōme with the guys, anyway? Wouldn’t he rather do that with Takaba-san?_ Kirishima muses to himself. He recalls Kou saying, _“They’ve never even been on a date.”_ The parkour double date was engineered by Kou. Kirishima doubts Asami has initiated another. _“No wonder Aki’s so insecure.”_ Kou did have a point.

Kirishima decides to help Asami and Takaba out. _Maybe_ someone _can have a happy ending._ “You know, if you really want to go to Ni-chōme, try asking Takaba-san.”

Asami considers the idea for a moment before pulling the stack of reports closer to him and getting to work.

_Well, I tried. Maybe he’ll ask me to set something up for him once he coordinates their schedules._

 

At midnight, Kirishima heads to the parking garage. He takes his gym bag from the trunk and slides into the backseat. It’s ridiculously roomy for a Japanese car, and Kirishima tries not to think about _why_ Asami insisted on the roominess – or the privacy window and tinted glass.

Kirishima pulls his jeans and sakura blossom t-shirt out of his bag. He slips the t-shirt over his head, but when he has the jeans pulled halfway up, he frowns. _Have I gained weight?_

But his suits have been fitting more loosely lately, not tighter. Kirishima lies back on the seat and pulls the jeans the rest of the way up. He looks down and finally realizes his mistake: he packed his skinny jeans instead of his regular jeans. Kirishima frowns. He’s only worn the skinny jeans in public once before, when Kou asked him to wear them to the movies.

_No one stared at me then,_ Kirishima reminds himself. He still doesn’t feel comfortable in the skinny jeans, though. _Maybe I should wear my suit pants instead._

But the t-shirt doesn’t really go with the suit pants, and besides, Kirishima is a lot older than the other guys. He doesn’t want to stick out too much, and the guys will all be in t-shirts and jeans.

Kirishima decides to keep the jeans on.

Once he’s dressed, Kirishima crams his wallet, train card, and keys into his pocket. _How am I supposed to fit my phone?_ He discovers the phone will barely fit in his back pocket when he’s standing. He sets off for the nearest train station at a brisk pace.

Kirishima sends a quick text to Saji while he waits to cross the street.

_I’m heading to the station now._

_I should be there in about ten minutes. Will you wait for me before getting on the train, please?_ _(-_ _人_ _-)_

_Of course._

 

Kirishima waves when Saji appears at the end of the platform. Saji jogs over, and the two step forward to wait for the next train together.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Saji says.

“Are you nervous?” Kirishima asks.

“Yeah,” Saji admits, licking his lips. “I don’t know why.”

“It’s okay,” Kirishima says. “You’ll be fine.”

“I’m also kind of excited,” Saji confesses.

Kirishima chuckles. “That’s good. Is Sakuragi-kun on his way?”

“His shift ended a little late, so he said he’d meet us there. Yoneda and Shiharu-san will meet us there, too.”

Kirishima’s eyebrows rise at this news. Saji had asked them not to tell anyone else for now but promised he would tell the rest of the guys soon.

Saji explains. “Since Yoneda’s in charge of the team, I figured it was better he know what’s going on, just in case it causes any problems.”

“It shouldn’t,” Kirishima quickly assures him. _After all, everyone on the team was selected to protect Asami-sama and his male lover._

“I know, but just in case, you know? Anyway, Yoneda said Shiharu-san really wanted to see Ni-chōme for some reason, so he asked if they could come along.”

_Yoneda-kun said that Shiharu-san is a fan of boys’ love manga. I hope she’ll be discreet. But Yoneda-kun is sensitive, so it should be okay, right?_

“Kirishima-san? Is something wrong?” Saji asks.

Kirishima decides that Saji is nervous enough without Kirishima adding to his worries. “A lot of bars in Ni-chōme don’t allow women in,” Kirishima explains, which is true enough. “We’ll be able to get into Geinki since Sion owns it, but it might upset the regulars.”

“Oh.” Saji frowns.

“We can go get some food at an izakaya first,” Kirishima suggests. “Maybe that would help you relax before we go to the bar, and that way if things get too uncomfortable at Geinki, Shiharu-san will have still had a good time.”

“That sounds good,” Saji says. “I’ll let Yoneda and Sakuragi know.”

Kirishima looks up the address of Uoya-itchō and shares it with Saji as the train pulls into the station. Once on the train, Saji falls into a fidgety silence. Kirishima can’t think of anything to say to help, so they end up riding quietly.

The awkwardness slowly dissipates when they’re moving again, Kirishima leading the way with unnecessary announcements of their path (“We’ll turn left at the next corner”) just to fill the silence.

Once at the izakaya, Saji finally starts to relax. He looks around at the men (and occasional women) eating in pairs or small groups. “The food smells good,” he says, giving a small grin as he looks at his menu.

“It is. See anything you like?” Kirishima asks.

Saji instantly turns red. “I- I- Kirishima-san!” he splutters.

“I meant the food!” Kirishima says, coloring a little himself.

“Oh. Of course. The food,” Saji mutters. He pulls his menu up higher, hiding his face.

“I heard the cheese fries are good,” Kirishima suggests.

“First date?” a voice asks from behind Saji.

Kirishima’s head jerks up from his menu in time to see Saji punching Sakuragi hard in the shoulder. “Not funny.”

Sakuragi laughs even as he rubs his shoulder. “Actually, I thought it was. You should have seen your faces.”

Saji rolls his eyes. “I knew you weren’t the right guy to tell. I should have only told Yoneda and Kirishima-san.”

“Why did you tell me, then?” Sakuragi grouses.

Kirishima can’t help but wonder whether Sakuragi is trying to hide his hurt with his indifference.

Saji seems to have picked up on it, too. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m glad I told you. Just – try not to be too much of a jerk, okay? I’m really nervous.”

“I know. Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere.”

“No worries. I heard the cheese fries are good here. Want to split them?” Saji says.

“Only if you’re treating,” Sakuragi answers.

“I’ll treat,” Kirishima quickly offers. He knows how expensive a night on the town is, and while the guards make an adequate salary, it’s nothing compared to his.

“You just treated us the other day,” Saji points out.

“I know, so it’ll be a while before I do so again. But you should let your ‘senpai’ pay for your Ni-chōme debut. It’s only going to happen once, so enjoy it while you can.”

Sakuragi lets out a weird choking sound while Saji blushes so hard he’s nearly purple.

_Did I say something wrong?_ Kirishima wonders.

“How can you say something like that with such a straight face?” Saji asks.

Once again Kirishima is flashing back to the night he met Kou. “Sorry,” he mutters, blushing himself.

“It’s fine,” Sakuragi says. “And thanks for treating us!”

“It’s not _your_ debut,” Saji points out to him.

Sakuragi blushes a little, but Kirishima says, “I meant I’d treat everyone.”

“Should we order or wait for Yoneda and Shiharu-san?” Saji wonders.

Kirishima’s phone buzzes with a message.

_Shiharu-tan has to get her excitement out of her system first, so we might be a while. Go ahead and order._

“Yoneda-kun says he’s running late and we should order,” Kirishima tells the others, his worry ticking up slightly. _Saji is nervous enough. I hope Shiharu-san doesn’t inadvertently make it worse._

As they wait for the food, Sakuragi tries to fill the awkward silence the other two keep creating. “See anyone you like?” he asks, nudging Saji with his elbow.

Saji chokes on his beer. “Sakuragi!” he hisses.

“What? That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Sakuragi asks matter-of-factly. “Our waitress isn’t half bad. See? It’s not so difficult to say. It’s normal.”

Saji’s blush gets redder as Sakuragi keeps talking.

“I don’t think you’re helping,” Kirishima points out to Sakuragi. Sakuragi’s face falls, so Kirishima hastily adds, “I know you’re trying to, but…”

Sakuragi sighs. “I give up.” He takes a giant sip of his beer. “I wish Yoneda and Shiharu-san would hurry up.”

“Sorry,” Saji and Kirishima say at the same time.

Kirishima racks his brain for a conversation topic. “Oh! I ordered a book about training for obstacle course races. It didn’t give a ton of specifics, but it said you could do gate vaults over high walls.”

“What would you hold onto?” Sakuragi asks.

“It said you just have to put your hand flat on the wall and push into it while you pull on the top of the wall with your other hand,” Kirishima says. Sakuragi still looks confused. “It didn’t make a lot of sense to me either,” Kirishima adds, “but I thought maybe Tokawa-san might know how to do it. It could save us a lot of time.”

Once they start talking about parkour, Saji relaxes. Their food arrives just as Yoneda and Shiharu finally show up.

“Sorry we’re late,” Yoneda mutters. “We got a little lost while we were walking around.”

Shiharu blushes a little. “It was my fault,” she says. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Sakuragi says. “Here are some menus.” He gets up and walks over to talk to the waitress.

“He didn’t have to do that,” Shiharu says.

Saji rolls his eyes. “He just wants to flirt with her.”

“Oh,” Shiharu blinks, trying to hide the confusion on her face.

Yoneda laughs softly. “Not everyone in Ni-chōme is gay, you know. We’re not, right?”

“Oh. Oh! Of course. Sorry. I mean, I knew Sakuragi-san wasn’t…” Shiharu trails off, ducking her head behind her menu in embarrassment.

“Did I hear you talking about brachial movement?” Yoneda asks.

“Yeah. Sakuragi just found a 30-day hanging challenge that looks like it might help with my grip strength,” Kirishima answers. He shows Yoneda the website.

 

They continue to talk about parkour as they eat and drink. Yoneda frets that they might be boring Shiharu, but she’s excited about their planned trip to the gym the next day, and she looks up all the moves they talk about on YouTube.

When it’s time to move on to Geinki, Yoneda says, “Shiharu-tan and I are going to head back. We have to get up early to hit the gym and do some sightseeing.”

“Thanks for letting me tag along,” Shiharu says. “I hope I didn’t bother your guys’ night out too much.”

The others reassure her that they were glad for her company and turn to walk over to Geinki. Before they’ve taken ten steps, Sakuragi’s phone buzzes. When he reads the text, he cusses softly. “I’ve got to go. Code Orange.” Kirishima and Saji both understand this means Takaba has slipped his guards.

“Should I go, too?” Saji asks.

“No, I’ve got it covered. Enjoy your night!” Sakuragi calls over his shoulder.

“Will he be okay?” Kirishima wonders. “He drank a couple of beers.”

“He ordered Kirin Free,” Saji says, referring to a nonalcoholic beer. “They’d better call me if they need me.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Kirishima reassures him. “Anyway, you _haven’t_ been drinking Kirin Free, right? So you’re in no shape to go.”

“That’s true,” Saji mutters. “I suppose I should have waited until my day off to do this.”

“It’s too late now. You’re already here. Are you still nervous?” Kirishima asks.

“Of course I am. We haven’t even really started yet, right? That izakaya was almost like being in any other part of Shinjuku.”

“Relax. All of Ni-chōme feels like that.”

As they walk, the duo drifts back into silence, but it’s more comfortable this time. Kirishima opens the door to Geinki and sees Asami sitting at the corner table. _What’s he doing here?_ Even as Kirishima wonders, he notices Takaba sitting next to Asami. _My big mouth. I should have known…_

Kirishima lets the door swing closed again.

“What’s wrong?” Saji asks.

“Does Takaba know what you look like?” Kirishima asks.

“I don’t think so,” Saji answers. “Why? Is he here? What about the Code Orange?”

Kirishima calls Sakuragi. “You can cancel the Code Orange. Takaba is at Geinki with Asami-sama.”

Sakuragi sighs. “I’ll call it off. Thanks. And I guess I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“We might be relocating,” Kirishima says. “I’ll let you know once we figure it out.”

Kirishima’s phone buzzes as he hangs up with Sakuragi. Kirishima sighs as he shows the message from Asami to Saji.

_Inside. Now._

“Should I go in, too?” Saji wonders.

Kirishima shrugs. “May as well. Does Takaba know Sakuragi-kun? Since he’s such a runner, it’s better if he doesn’t figure out the identities of anyone else on his team, but if it’s just us, you should be safe.”

“I’m not sure. I’ll ask Sakuragi,” Saji says, composing a quick text.

“Going in?” someone asks.

Kirishima and Saji step aside to let the man go first. As he passes, his eyes travel up and down Kirishima’s body, lingering on his legs.

“I hope you do, and soon,” the man adds with a grin before going in himself.

Kirishima blushes scarlet. He follows the man inside with Saji trailing behind him. As they make their way over to Asami’s table, Takaba’s mouth drops open as he gets a good look at Kirishima. Takaba blushes a little as he takes in Kirishima’s skintight jeans, but Takaba’s expression hardens as they draw close.

“On a hot date?” he accuses, not casting more than a cursory glance at Saji.

“Just out with a friend, not that it’s any of your business,” Kirishima retorts. He raises his eyebrows at Asami, who’s actually looking a little… sheepish? _Must be my imagination._

“I didn’t know where you were going,” Asami explains. “I followed your suggestion.”

“That’s fine,” Kirishima says. _What else can I say?_ “Maybe we should head somewhere else,” he tells Saji.

“Don’t leave on my account,” Asami says. “I’m sure we’ll be leaving soon ourselves.” He shoots a look at someone eying Takaba that sends the looker scurrying out the door of the bar.

Kirishima nods. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” He bows and leads Saji over to a small, chest-high table in the opposite corner.

“Sakuragi is on his way,” Saji says as he slides his phone back into his pocket.

They stand at the table awkwardly for a brief moment before the man who entered the bar just before them makes his way over.

“So you decided to come in. I’m glad. Can I buy you a drink?” he asks Kirishima.

“No, thank you,” Kirishima answers coolly. “I’m just here with a friend tonight.”

“Suit yourself,” the man says, turning to eye Saji for the first time. “You’re not bad yourself. Are you as cold as your friend?”

Saji casts a helpless look at Kirishima. Kirishima raises his eyebrows, trying to communicate _go ahead if you’d like_. Apparently Saji gets the message, because he’s soon walking over to the bar with the man.

Kirishima flags down a waiter to order.

“Fuku-shacho-san, I’m sorry! I didn’t recognize you! I should have known you’d be here when I saw Asami-sama here.” The waiter bows repeatedly in apology.

Kirishima assures him, “It’s fine. I just got here, and anyway, I’m only here as a customer tonight.”

After ordering, Kirishima tries to seem casual as he looks around the bar. The door opens, and he turns, hoping it will be Sakuragi. Kirishima’s heart thrills when he sees Kou instead.

A moment later, it feels like someone is squeezing Kirishima’s chest when he notices the possessive hand on the small of Kou’s back, attached to the manager of the clothing store Kou took Kirishima to on their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from James Morris. (White) jasmine symbolizes friendship and gracefulness.
> 
> This chapter ran a little longer than usual, but I needed it to end where it did. The next chapter will be from Kou's perspective, so please don't assume too much until you hear his side of things. I think I'll probably write that next. I may finish this work (at least until the end of the main story) before I go back to "Exhibition."


	26. Inside the Pocket of Your Ripped Jeans (Pink and Purple)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tokawa and Kou meet up for some parkour. How has Kou been doing since the break-up? And what does he want to talk to Tokawa about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to see what Tokawa is like outside a professional setting. Warning for language (apparently he has a potty mouth).
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa Daiki: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> [PASMO](https://www.halalinjapan.com/pasmo-card--suica-card.html): a type of Japanese debit card which can be used at train stations, convenience stores, taxis, and some vending machines for fares and purchases
> 
> parkour terms:  
> tracing: practicing parkour  
> traceur: someone who practices parkour  
> [strides](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgmcznd-kD8): a jumping run, usually from one small obstacle to another  
> [precision](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyvwjHIDhc0): jumping from and landing on two feet, usually from one narrow obstacle to another

Kou takes a deep breath before opening the door to the gym.

“Kou!” Tokawa waves a hammer from atop a wall on the far side of the gym. “I’ll be done in just a sec.”

Kou jogs over. “Need any help, Daiki?”

“Nah. I’ve got like five more nails to go. Why don’t you warm up?”

Kou starts in the nearest corner and works his way around the perimeter of the gym, making a counterclockwise spiral. When he reaches the laché bars in the center of the gym, he flies from one to the next, flipping feet over head in between, before dismounting from the last bar with a double gainer.

“Where the hell did you learn that?” Tokawa calls over as he jumps down from the wall.

Kou shrugs. “I was playing around at Nakamura’s new gym in Setagaya.”

“Diamond gym? I haven’t been over there yet, but I thought it was a rooftop gym. They’ve got a foam pit? Or even mats?”

“Nah,” Kou says. Tokawa eyes him suspiciously. “I was careful! Nakamura spotted me.”

“That shit’s not easy to spot. Especially on concrete. You got a death wish like Aki?”

Kou scowls, ignoring the reference to Akihito. “I made it, didn’t I? Did I look like I needed a mat?”

Tokawa shrugs. “True, you’ve obviously got it down _now_. What the hell are you training so hard for, anyway?”

“I’m still not as good as you,” Kou says defensively. “Besides, who says I’ve been training hard?”

“Look at you,” Tokawa says. “You’ve got more bruises and scrapes than I can count, and even though it’s still spring, you’re tan as fuck. And everyone who’s stopped by lately has said they had a marathon session with you after running into you at one of the usual spots.”

“You couldn’t tell by how much I improved?” Kou pouts.

“Dude, that’s a given. I don’t think _I_ could have done that circuit as fast as you did. That was hella long, and you were full out sprinting the whole time. Again, what are you training for, _Sasuke_?”

Kou laughs. “Nah. Nothing, really.”

“You should think about it,” Tokawa says.

Kou flashes his full smile. “That’s a huge compliment coming from you, but I won’t be around for it this year.”

“You got the fellowship?! Say that shit sooner!” Tokawa gives Kou a giant bear hug that nearly knocks him off his feet.

Kou laughs. “Yeah, I got a phone call at three o’clock this morning. I nearly cussed them out for calling in the middle of the night before I realized who it was – not that they’d have understood!”

Tokawa examines Kou’s face. “You actually look happy for the first time since I ran into you again last month.”

Kou looks away. “I’ve been dealing with… things.”

“A bad break-up?” Tokawa’s guess is confirmed by the surprised look on Kou’s face. “I guess that explains the excessive training. I do the same thing.”

Kou shrugs. “It helps – at least while I’m moving. And I sleep better at night if I tire myself out.”

Tokawa nods. “I get that. Hopefully the fresh start will do you some good. Is that why you applied for the fellowship?”

Kou shakes his head. “I found out about it before. But when the shit hit the fan, it was one of the few things keeping me going.”

“Are you definitely going to New York?” Tokawa asks.

Kou nods, grinning. “Jealous?”

“Of course! L.A. would be even better, but the U.S. is so much more accepting of parkour, and New York has a huge community.”

“Yeah. You ready to go?”

“Let me put the tools away and lock up.”

Kou watches as Tokawa prepares to leave the gym. _Should I tell him now? I don’t want to ruin our session, but what if he’s in a rush when we get back here?_

“What time do you have to be back?” Kou asks as casually as possible.

“Not until the brats get out of school,” Tokawa answers as he locks the door.

As they start their run, Tokawa says, “Speaking of Aki… How’s he been? I haven’t seen him in ages.”

Kou feels like he’s just been punched in the gut, but he manages to sound casual as he replies, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in a couple of months myself. But last I saw, he was the same as ever.”

Tokawa stops running.

It takes a couple of steps for Kou to realize and turn around. “What?”

“What the hell happened? You two were always thick as thieves. You’re childhood friends, right?”

Kou shrugs. “I’ve been busy. I’ve got to wrap up all my work and get ready to move out of the country.” He can’t bring himself to look Tokawa in the eye; he’s never been good at lying – even by omission.

“Bullshit,” Tokawa says. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but you _just_ found out you got the fellowship a few hours ago, and you’ve been tracing all over Tokyo for weeks. You telling me you never thought to invite Aki to a session? Bullshit.”

To his horror, Kou can feel tears pricking his eyes. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Dude, I’m sorry. Did you guys have a fight?”

Kou shakes his head but lets out a choking, “I guess you could call it that.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Kou shakes his head more vigorously. “Let’s just run.” He takes off again, setting a quick pace that will make conversation impossible.

 

A block and a half from the park, Kou sees a familiar-looking car turn onto the street in front of them, heading in the same direction. He picks up the pace further, but of course he can’t catch up to the car.

_What would I do even if I did catch up? I can’t see Kei-san again – especially now that the visa application is being processed._

Kou sprints the rest of the way to the structural playground in the park.

“Holy fuck,” Tokawa gasps, collapsing onto the ground. After a minute, he sits up and says, “I’m glad my guys didn’t see that. I definitely need to work on my cardio.”

Kou straightens up, removing his hands from his knees. “Me too.”

Tokawa snorts. “Yeah, right. You know… Kirishima-san told me, ‘Parkour is about overcoming any obstacles in your path by adapting your movements to the environment.’ I know he got that from you.”

Kou once again feels like he’s been hit in the gut – this time by a four by four of a name. He puts his hands back on his knees, pretending to still be out of breath.

Tokawa continues. “Parkour is a way of life. It’s not just about physical obstacles. But if you keep running away and pretending the obstacles aren’t even there, you’ll never overcome them.”

“I’m not running away,” Kou says automatically, keeping his eyes downcast.

Tokawa sighs. “Whatever.” He stands up and starts doing some dynamic stretches. “I’m a good listener, you know. And I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

Kou starts stretching, too. “How can you overcome an obstacle if you have no idea how?” he bursts out. “You make it sound so easy!”

“I never said it was easy,” Tokawa says. “When you face a physical obstacle you can’t beat, what do you do? Maybe talk it over with another traceur, try one way to conquer it. If that doesn’t work, either keep working to master the skill or try another way.”

Kou nods. “That’s true. I’ve never really made parkour a way of life for me. I’ve always been a coward.” He remembers the conversation he had with Kirishima the night they met, when Kirishima helped Kou overcome his fears and accept his homosexuality. “Or I was until Kei-san –” Kou stops abruptly when he realizes he’s speaking aloud.

“You mean Kirishima-san?” Tokawa asks. “If you’d rather talk to him, I understand. Just talk to _someone_ , dude. Or figure out some other way. Beating your body up with parkour obviously isn’t working.”

“I can’t,” Kou whispers, on the verge of tears again.

“Did you get into a fight with him, too?” Tokawa asks, surprised. “How did you two meet, anyway? It doesn’t seem like your social circles would overlap. Was it through work?”

Kou shakes his head before he can stop himself. _That would have been a perfect excuse._ Instead, he tells the truth. “We met at a bar in Shinjuku. I was trying to gather my courage to… face my fears about something, and he helped me. We just hit it off.”

Tokawa nods. “I can see that. He gets along with some of the guys our age who train in the gym, too.”

Kou tries to ignore the pang of jealousy Tokawa’s words cause. _Don’t be stupid. You told Kei-san you wanted him to look around and remember to experience the world. You should be glad he’s making friends._ “Is he doing okay?” The words slip out.

Tokawa studies him. “Yeah. I think so. We only have a professional relationship, but he’s training hard for a mud run.”

“Mud run?” Kou stares at Tokawa in surprise. Somehow Kou can’t imagine Kirishima deliberately getting dirty.

Tokawa laughs. “That was Kirishima-san’s reaction when I suggested it to him, too. But I think it’s a great opportunity to combine his love of nature with parkour.”

Kou nods. “Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

“Dude, if you miss him so much, why don’t you try making up with him? Whatever it is, just try saying you’re sorry. You’re a good guy. He obviously knows that.”

“It’s not like that,” Kou says.

“Did he do something you can’t forgive him for?”

Kou shakes his head. “That’s not it, either. It was… irreconcilable differences.”

Tokawa stares at him. “With a friend? Okaaay… I’m not sure I understand. So you want to be friends with him again but feel like you can’t?”

Kou nods. “I guess that’s as good a way of putting it as any. I – I actually wanted to talk to you about it – or something related, but not here. When we get back to the gym.”

Tokawa nods. “No problem. Shall we start?”

They spend the next two hours practicing various moves, taking turns setting a line, or declaring challenges consisting of a certain combination of moves. Kou is shocked to discover that nearly half the time, he’s the first to complete a challenge, and there are only a couple of challenges that Tokawa can complete that Kou can’t.

“I can’t believe I’m actually mostly keeping up with you,” Kou says when they stop for a water break.

“I can,” Tokawa says. “With the business, I haven’t been able to train as much as I like. I’m always noticing something that needs to be done, like fixing that wall earlier. Meanwhile, your training schedule has been insane. How many hours have you been putting in – fifteen a week?”

“About twice that, sometimes closer to three times as much,” Kou admits.

Tokawa whistles. “Dude. And you’re still working full time? Do you ever sleep?”

“Yeah, I sleep as much as I can. I’m a freelancer, remember? I’ve only been picking up smaller projects I can complete quickly, in case I got the fellowship. And I don’t have a commute most days, which saves me a lot of time. When I do have to meet clients, I trace at nearby spots afterwards for the variety.”

“It sounds lonely,” Tokawa says. “Everyone who’s run into you says you were training alone. It was the same with me, remember?”

Kou remembers. Unsure whether he could handle talking about Kirishima, Kou had tried to avoid Tokawa. Thankfully Tokawa hadn’t brought Kirishima up. They’ve met a couple of times since then, but their conversations were focused mainly on parkour, as they’ve always been.

“I like to train alone,” Kou says defensively. “Anyway, there have been plenty of times I’ve run into people randomly, and sometimes our schedules match so I can meet up with someone, like today.”

“Alright,” Tokawa says, letting the subject drop. “How about you set the next challenge?”

Kou chooses a series of strides and precisions around the maze and onto some of the railings.

“That’s a long progression. Think you can keep your momentum up?” Tokawa raises his eyebrows.

“I know I can. Can you?” Kou retorts, sticking his tongue out.

“Fine. Then you go first,” Tokawa challenges.

Kou executes the combination flawlessly, nailing the final nine-foot precision over a rocky outcropping and onto the highest railing.

“Nice run.” Tokawa starts off his own run strong, but he comes up just short on the final precision, his right foot sliding backwards off the rail. He kicks his leg back to reach for the top of the rock, and there’s a ripping sound as Tokawa teeters for a fraction of a second before losing his balance. He falls backwards onto the rock, sliding down it. “Fuck!”

Kou races over. “Daiki! You alright?” he asks.

“I think so,” Tokawa says, trying to sit up.

“Slow down. Are you sure you should be moving?” Kou asks.

Tokawa gingerly tests his limbs. “I’m fine.” He slowly sits up. “Fuck, that hurts, though. How bad is it scraped?”

Kou looks at Tokawa’s back. “Your shirt is basically cheese-gratered, but I don’t think the skin is too bad. I’ve got a fresh water bottle. I can clean it out for you.”

Tokawa nods and grits his teeth as Kou pours the water over the abrasion.

“It’s actually not _too_ huge, but there’s some debris in there,” Kou announces. “It’d be better to get back to the gym to clean it out properly. Are you sure you’re alright? That was a pretty big fall.”

Tokawa stands and stretches. “I’m going to have one hell of a bruise, but I’m pretty sure that’s it. I got lucky.” He turns to look back over his shoulder at Kou. To Tokawa’s surprise, Kou is muffling a laugh. “What?” He grouses. “It wasn’t that funny.”

“It’s not that! It’s…” Kou can’t keep a giggle from escaping. “Dude! Pink bunnies?!”

“What?” Tokawa asks. A suspicion forms in his mind as he twists around to look at his backside.

“And they’re purple! Where’d you get those boxers?” Kou isn’t even trying to hide his laughter anymore.

Tokawa sighs. “My ex. I should have thrown them out, but I need the extra pair to make it to laundry day. How bad is it?”

Kou manages to compose himself. “It’s not _that_ bad,” he says. “Just a little tear.” Another giggle escapes.

Tokawa eyes him suspiciously. “How big is little?”

Kou holds up his hand with the fingers outstretched. “A little bigger than the distance between my thumb and pinky. Oh, and there’s a little flap hanging down, too…”

Tokawa feels around for the flap and tries to tuck it back through the hole.

Kou shakes his head. “It’s hopeless. I have some athletic tape in my bag for calluses. Let’s see if we can fix it in the bathroom.”

Unfortunately the tape is designed for skin, not cloth, and it barely holds the fabric together. After fifteen minutes of finagling, Kou steps back and checks out their handiwork.

“I think this is the best we can hope for. It’s not visible right this second, but…”

“But the tape’s going to come loose as soon as I start moving.” Sighing, Tokawa completes the sentence for Kou.

“Sorry,” Kou says.

“It’s not your fault. Thanks for helping. I think I’d better not run. Are you up for a slow walk back to the gym?”

“Yeah,” Kou says. “I wish I’d brought a sweatshirt, but it was too warm today.”

“At least you had the tape,” Tokawa points out as he leads the way out of the restroom. “That’s a huge help.”

“It’d be more helpful if it actually worked,” Kou grumbles, reaching out to resecure a loose piece. “I think it’s hopeless. You got any money? You could buy some new pants at the convenience store.”

“I didn’t bring any. I only have like one fare on my PASMO right now – not enough for pants. Could you spot me? I can pay you back once we’re back at the gym.”

“I don’t have anything, either. Sorry,” Kou answers.

 

The walk back is slow going. After a few blocks, Kou observes, “You’re starting to limp. We should take the train.”

“I think I tweaked my ankle,” Tokawa admits, adding, “but I can’t get on a train like this!”

They’re nearing the shopping district, and an idea strikes Kou. “I’ve got a friend who’s the manager of a clothing store near here. Let’s stop in. Maybe he can at least lend us a stapler or some better tape to hold your pants together.”

“I can’t go into a shop like this,” Tokawa hisses.

“You can’t get on a train like that, either,” Kou reminds him.

Tokawa can’t argue with that logic. “I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friend,” he offers as one last feeble protest.

“You won’t,” Kou says. “He’s really laidback. I think you’ll like the fashion there, too.”

He stops in front of the shop.

“Uniqlo?” Tokawa asks incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Hey, don’t knock it. We can’t all afford to buy the latest parkour fashion from the pros around the globe.”

“I get most of that stuff for free, as promo material for the gym,” Tokawa explains.

“Cheapskate,” Kou teases.

Tokawa shrugs. “Hey, if they’re willing to give it away, I’ll gladly accept. Clothes aren’t cheap. Except Uniqlo’s.”

“When was the last time you’ve been in a Uniqlo?” Kou asks.

“Not since high school,” Tokawa confesses.

“They’ve undergone a significant rebranding campaign over the last few years, hiring a number of top-notch designers and moving away from fast fashion. Anyway, we’re just here for the stapler.”

“What if your friend’s not here?” Tokawa asks.

Kou shrugs. “Then you’ll have to flash your bunnies.”

Tokawa groans. “Well, it’s worth a shot. Thanks.”

They head into the store, and Kou breathes a sigh of relief as Itoh rushes over to them. Itoh gives the customary greeting for all customers.

“Hello, Itoh-san,” Kou says.

Itoh’s head snaps up. “Motomi-san? I hardly recognized you! You’ve gotten so buff!” He reaches out and feels Kou’s bicep.

Kou blushes. “This is my friend, Tokawa Daiki. Daiki, this is Itoh-san, the manager.” Kou notes that Itoh’s face falls slightly at the lack of honorific given to Tokawa. “Daiki is in a bit of a pickle,” he continues. “We were working out, and he had an accident with his pants.”

Tokawa has been standing to the side with his back to a clothing rack.

Kou grabs his arm. “Show him,” Kou urges.

Tokawa reluctantly turns around. Itoh’s mouth twitches for a moment before he manages to return to his professional demeanor. Then Itoh’s gaze travels up and he notices Tokawa’s bloodied shirt.

“Whoa, what happened? Are you okay?”

“I slipped at the park,” Tokawa explains. “And we had run there from my gym, so we’ve still got a few kilometers left to get back.”

“We wanted to take the train back since Daiki seems to have hurt his ankle as well,” Kou finishes explaining.

“You can’t take a train like that,” Itoh says, pointing out the obvious.

“We know,” Kou says. “I used some athletic tape to try to hold the pants together, but it’s obviously not working. Could we borrow something that might work better? Even a stapler?”

Itoh tsks. “It makes more sense to buy a new outfit. We have a first aid kit, too.”

Kou glances at Tokawa and confesses, “Neither of us has any money on us.”

“But the gym’s not far, right? Do you have money there?”

“Of course,” they both answer at the same time.

“So you can bring the payment later. It would have to be today, though,” Itoh warns.

“Of course! I could bring it within the hour,” Kou exclaims. “Thank you so much.”

Itoh grabs the first aid kit from behind the counter and leads them over to a rack of athletic gear. “Size medium?” he guesses.

Tokawa nods. Itoh starts selecting clothes. “Why don’t you take the first aid kit and head to the bathroom? I’ll place the clothes in the fitting room for you to try on when you’re ready.”

Kou quickly takes care of the scrape on Tokawa’s back, cleaning it and putting on a bandage. When Tokawa heads into the fitting room, Kou waits outside.

“New guy, I see,” Itoh says in a quiet voice.

Kou shoots a warning look and whispers, “He really is just a friend. He doesn’t know.”

“Okay,” Itoh says, holding his hands up. “Things still going hot with the other guy then?”

Kou’s face falls. “We broke up.”

“So you’re single now?” Itoh’s smile lights up his face, and Kou suddenly remembers what Itoh said about being too late when he found out about Kou’s sexuality.

Kou blushes a little as he mumbles, “I’m not really ready to date again yet. It was a hard break-up for me.”

“I understand,” Itoh says. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You were right about Uniqlo being much better now,” Tokawa calls from the fitting room. He walks out the door as he says, “I think these will work.” Tokawa stops short when he realizes Itoh is standing next to Kou. “Sorry,” Tokawa mutters.

“We’re pleased that you approve of our efforts to improve our clothing lines,” Itoh answers smoothly.

Tokawa glances properly around the store for the first time. “Wow, it looks really different, too!”

“Motomi-san designed the in-store rebranding for this branch,” Itoh says.

Tokawa’s mouth drops. “Dang! No wonder you won that fancy fellowship.”

“Fellowship?” Itoh asks.

Kou blushes. “It’s no big deal.”

Tokawa rolls his eyes. “It’s in New York. He beat out other designers from around the globe.”

“Congratulations!” Itoh says. “I see my timing is as impeccable as ever.”

Kou wonders what that means but doesn’t dare ask in front of Tokawa. “I’m glad you were here. Thank you so much for your help. How do you want to ring up the sale?”

“I’ll ring it up now and pay for it myself so the register stays reconciled,” Itoh decides.

“Oh, thank you,” Tokawa says. “Are you sure that’s alright?”

“It’s fine. I know Motomi-san is very honest. He’ll definitely bring the payment back.”

“That’s okay! I’ll bring it back myself! I wouldn’t want to put Kou out,” Tokawa says.

“That’s stupid. You’ve got to open the gym soon, and you’re hurt. I’ve got my bike, and it’s practically on my way home. I don’t mind,” Kou argues. Tokawa still doesn’t look convinced, so Kou adds, “Besides, I want to get some new clothes before I leave the country. I heard it can be hard to find clothes that fit in America.”

As Itoh rings up the sale, he says to Kou, “You’ve got to let me take you out to congratulate you for the fellowship. Does tomorrow night work for you?”

“I’m not sure; I’ve got a deadline coming up,” Kou says. _Shit. What the hell is Itoh-san doing, asking in front of Daiki?_ Kou sneaks a glance at Tokawa, who’s wearing an expression of exasperation instead of the shock Kou was expecting. _Oh. I guess that’s something a normal friend would say._

“Just take a rest day tomorrow, dude,” Tokawa says, elbowing him. “You’ve been working too hard lately, and anyway, you’ll be leaving the country before you know it. You’ll regret not spending more time with your friends before you do.” Tokawa nods at the clothes on the counter.

“That’s true,” Kou says. “If I buckle down and really focus, I think I could manage to meet my deadline still. But let me treat you as a thank-you for today.”

Itoh gives a big grin. “That’s not necessary. You’ll be bringing the payment, after all. But we can argue more about it tomorrow evening.” He finishes ringing up the sale. “I can throw your other clothes away for you,” he offers.

Tokawa examines the pants. “I think these might actually be pretty easy to fix, but thanks for the offer. You can toss the shirt, though.” Tokawa frowns at the ruined shirt. “That was one of my favorites, and it was limited edition. I doubt I can replace it.”

Itoh checks out the design on the front. “Cool. What’s Tempest?” he asks.

“One of the best parkour teams in the world,” Tokawa explains.

“Parkour? You mean like what Bond does in the beginning of _Casino Royale_?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Tokawa confirms.

“Is that what you guys were doing at the park?”

“Yeah,” Tokawa answers again since Kou is still silently freaking out about the potential awkwardness of going out with Itoh tomorrow night. Tokawa continues, “I’ve got a parkour gym not too far from here. If you’re interested, you should stop by sometime. First visit is on the house.” Tokawa pulls a business card from his pocket and presents it to Itoh.

Kou finally stirs himself to speak. “You carry business cards but not money?” he teases.

“I always have one on me,” Tokawa defends himself. “It’s smart business practice, and if I lose it, maybe it’ll actually provide free publicity. If I lose money, on the other hand…” Tokawa shrugs.

 

As Tokawa and Kou head to the train station, Tokawa says, “Your friend was really nice. I can’t believe he hooked me up with a new outfit like that.”

“I know.”

“And you were going to reject him when he asked to treat you as congratulations for your fellowship?! You should have been the one offering to treat Itoh-san,” Tokawa chides. Before Kou can reply, Tokawa adds thoughtfully, “Actually, _I_ should have been the one. I’ve got a private lesson late tomorrow evening and another early the next morning, or I’d join you…”

“That’s okay,” Kou quickly says. “I’ll make sure to thank Itoh-san properly.”

“You’d better,” Tokawa says. “When we get back to the gym, I’ll give you some cash to treat him with.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Kou objects.

“I know, but I want to. Besides, it’s to thank you, too. You really helped me out back there.”

“You would have done the same for me,” Kou points out.

“No, I wouldn’t have. I didn’t have jack shit to help you with. The only thing I could have done would have been to try to stand behind you and keep anyone else from seeing too much.”

“Well, you would have done _that_.” Kou grins.

 

Back at the gym, Tokawa heads to the office to get some cash. When he comes back, Kou is playing around on the laché bars again.

“I’ve got a line I want you to try,” Tokawa says. He shows Kou the line he set up for the team on Kirishima’s first day in the gym.

Kou approaches the line much as Tokawa did, though he cats onto and climbs up the second-to-last wall instead of landing on top of it.

“You didn’t try the underbar,” Tokawa calls out after Kou has finished.

“Because I’m not suicidal,” Kou counters. “Can you do it?”

“Not from the top of the other wall,” Tokawa admits. “I can running up to it, though.”

“Well, yeah, that seems doable after a few practice runs,” Kou says. “The hole is small, but if your run-up is right, it should be easy enough.”

“What about with no practice run?” Tokawa challenges.

Kou shrugs and tries it. He manages to get his feet through the hole, but his back scrapes along the bottom of the hole, slowing him down. He slides awkwardly out. “Yeah, I definitely screwed up the approach.”

“Interesting,” Tokawa says.

“What?”

“Kirishima-san made it his first try. He said he’d only been tracing for two months, and you’d only taught him the underbar three weeks beforehand. I wondered if you were some kind of underbar master.”

Kou’s heart clenches again at the mention of Kirishima, but he forces a laugh, “I wish. That guy took to them pretty quickly, though.”

“Other than underbars, he’s pretty average,” Tokawa notes.

Kou shrugs. “Aren’t we all like that? Some things come easier than others.”

“I guess,” Tokawa says. “Anyway, you said you wanted to talk to me about something related to him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is taken from the song "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran.
> 
> I kept giggling while writing this chapter, remembering how Tokawa was glad the guys at his gym weren't watching him get toasted by Kou during the run, and knowing that Sion guards were actually watching throughout the entire chapter.
> 
> I thought I could fit Kou's perspective into a single chapter, but it became obvious I was wrong, so I found a good stopping place (a cliffhanger, of course!). I've only got about 650 words of the next chapter written, though - but I know what's supposed to happen in it, so hopefully it won't take too long to write. My current estimate on how many chapters are left is still in the 5-7 range (I'm really bad at estimating, though, so take that with a grain of salt).


	27. A Thing Which Does Hang on a String (Red)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Kou need to talk to Tokawa about? And what happens when Kou and Kirishima run into each other in Ni-chōme?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ran a little long, but not long enough to separate into two, and I really wanted to end it where I did. Warning for nonconsensual touching (nothing illegal or too extreme, but I always like to provide a warning). Oh, yeah - and mild profanity.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa Daiki: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> bōryokudan: “violent group” (police designation for yakuza/organized crime groups)  
> [organized crime exclusion ordinance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakuza_exclusion_ordinances): recent laws intended to crack down on organized crime, including by making it illegal for other citizens to do business with members of a bōryokudan  
> okama: a gay man, especially one who dresses in drag  
> mama: the proprietor of a gay bar  
> Megane-san: "Mr. Glasses," Akihito's nickname for Kirishima  
> seiza: a kneeling position

Kou’s mouth suddenly feels dry. He closes his eyes and recalls the photo of the missing Yama-san, along with an e-mail Yama-san had sent Akihito with a lead relating to Club Sion a few days before Yama-san went missing.  The pictures of the stockpiles of illegal weapons that had somehow disappeared from right under the nose of the police, and the list of superiors who suddenly denied ever having seen them. The photos of the carnage at the hotel the same night Akihito was taken to Hong Kong: all those dead Chinese triad members, the lobby that looked like an explosion had gone off with so much splintered furniture and blood splatters. The security footage from the convenience store six blocks away that showed Kirishima’s car leaving the area, even though the hotel’s footage had been wiped.

Kou opens his eyes, steeling his resolve. _If I’m going to be mad that Aki didn’t warn me, I can’t do the same to Daiki._ “What do you know about Article 18 of the organized crime exclusion ordinance?”

Tokawa blinks several times. “I have a clause in all of my contracts,” he finally answers, “but I’ve never had to use it.”

“I see.” Kou gulps. _I can’t betray Kei-san, but I also don’t want Daiki to get in over his head. If something happens, he could get in trouble for training Sion’s men, even though he doesn’t know anything._

“It only applies to organizations that have officially been declared bōryokudan by the police,” Tokawa says after a long silence. “Do you know of any groups that have such a designation that I should be aware of?”

“None that have it right now,” Kou says, “but... the future is vast.”

“Are these the ‘irreconcilable differences’ you mentioned earlier?” Tokawa asks.

Kou gives an almost imperceptible nod.

Tokawa softens. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for your concern. I teach parkour. I overhear things, and I know that the specific people I’m training are using their skills to keep… certain ‘other people’ safe – including certain people some might view as helping the police themselves, though I’d never say it to their face.”

Kou blinks as he remembers what Kirishima said about Akihito having a bodyguard, and how Asami claimed it was because Akihito did “stupid shit” like meeting people in riverbeds in the middle of the night. _So Daiki trains Aki’s bodyguard? Or bodyguards, I guess? It would make sense to have more than one given Aki’s crazy schedule – and I’m sure he tries to lose them so he can do really stupid shit. I guess Asami really does care about Aki._

“Yeah. Okay.” Kou nods. “I just… know what it was like not to be warned before getting too close to a potentially dangerous situation, and I didn’t want to do that to you.”

“Again, thank you. And Kou… Maybe I’m just over-thinking things, but if – I’m just saying _if_ – that’s caused problems with someone else, maybe just remember the difficulty you had in deciding to warn me. Sometimes it’s even harder, for various… reasons.” Tokawa trails off.

_Does Daiki know about Aki and Asami?_ Obviously Kou can’t ask outright, and Tokawa isn’t going to give it away unless Kou makes it clear that he knows about their relationship – but obviously Kou can’t make it clear unless _he’s_ sure Tokawa already knows about it.

Kou’s head is beginning to hurt. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I should get going.”

“Here’s the money for Itoh-san.” Tokawa holds out two five-thousand yen notes.

“The clothes were less than half that,” Kou points out, taking only one of the bills.

“The rest is to treat both of you as thanks for your help.”

“You know I can’t accept that,” Kou protests.

“Fine. Will you at least accept these jeans? Tempest sent me several pairs.”

Kou takes the plastic-wrapped pair of pants. “These are cool! Thanks. Wait… Child’s large? Are you making fun of me?”

“They’re American sizes! You’re thin; they should fit you,” Tokawa explains.

“Well, thanks.”

 

Kou rides his scooter over to Uniqlo. When he walks into the store, Itoh seems surprised to see him. “I thought we’d confirm over the phone.”

“I brought the money back,” Kou explains, handing over Tokawa’s bill.

Itoh laughs. “You could have brought that tomorrow night. Or were you just looking for an excuse to see me?”

“Um, about tomorrow night…” Kou starts. “I’m sorry, but I’m really not up to going out right now. I did want to thank you again for helping us out, though. Could I treat you to some coffee instead sometime, maybe?”

To Kou’s surprise, Itoh shakes his head. “I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. I’m really looking forward to it. Besides, if you’re feeling so down about your break-up, that’s all the more reason to go out and let off a little steam in Ni-chōme.”

“You want to go to Ni-chōme?” Kou gulps painfully as his throat suddenly goes dry.

“It’s the best place to let off a little steam for guys like us, isn’t it?” Itoh says.

“I don’t know. I – I’m really not up to dating right now, especially since I’m leaving the country soon,” Kou tries explaining one more time.

Itoh waves his hand impatiently. “Who said anything about dating? You’re not ready; I got the message loud and clear. I’m just offering to help you blow off some steam as a friend.”

“As friends? Okay,” Kou finally says reluctantly.

Kou looks around the store, but his heart isn’t into shopping, so he heads home.

 

The next evening, when it’s time to get ready to meet Itoh, Kou tries on the new jeans that Tokawa gave him. They’re baggy, which isn’t really the style in Japan right now, but he decides he’ll feel more comfortable in them than his skinny jeans. _I don’t want to give Itoh-san the wrong impression,_ Kou continues to worry.

He knows he should be excited about going out, but he’d really rather go have another session tracing at a nearby park. Parkour is the only time Kou can fully get his mind off Kirishima – and then only if he’s really concentrating on difficult movements. Going to Ni-chōme is going to bring up painful memories. Not that Kou and Kirishima spent much time there together – they preferred to relax at one or the other’s homes or outside (whether doing parkour, hiking, or going for a ride on Kou’s motorcycle). Still, Ni-chōme was where they met.

Kou pulls on a t-shirt, runs a comb through his hair, and gathers his keys, phone, and wallet. When he reaches into the jeans pocket, he feels a folded piece of paper inside. _I should have known._ Sure enough, when Kou pulls out the paper, it’s a five-thousand yen note. He shoots Tokawa a quick text.

_Very clever. Thanks for the treat, I guess. But next time we hang out, I’ll treat you._

_I have no idea what you’re talking about._

_˘\\_( õ ‹3 ó)_/˘ Well, thanks again._

_Have fun tonight! And tell Itoh-san thanks again._

 

Kou takes the train into Shinjuku. He exits the station and turns down the street towards Ni-chōme. As he approaches the gay district, his palms start sweating. _Will I ever get used to this?_

Kou reminds himself that six months ago, he didn’t even have the guts to finish the walk down the street. _I’m doing good compared to then._

His heart pangs as he remembers who was responsible for getting him to go down the rest of the street. Kou takes a deep breath and remembers the feel of Kirishima’s warm hand surging courage into Kou as they made that walk.

Kou is just starting to relax when an arm is draped across his shoulder. He startles and shrugs away before he realizes it’s Itoh.

“Sorry,” Itoh mutters. “I thought you were cool.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! You surprised me,” Kou explains.

Itoh falls into step with Kou. “You looked lost in thought.”

“I was just remembering… things.”

“Uh-huh. We’re here tonight to try to forget those things, remember?” Itoh drapes his arm back across Kou’s shoulder.

Kou doesn’t want to offend Itoh again, but it feels weird and uncomfortable. “Let’s go in here,” he says desperately, turning into the first bar he sees as a pretense to get out from under Itoh’s arm.

Itoh looks amused. “I didn’t know you like bears. I thought you were more into the office worker type.”

The burly, bearded men in the bar are staring at Kou with unsmiling faces.

“Uh… Maybe somewhere else would be better,” Kou says, backing quickly out of the bar.

The sound of the bears’ laughter follows them as they start back down the street, Kou making sure to leave enough space between them that Itoh won’t be tempted to reach out his arm again.

Itoh laughs softly. “You haven’t been in Ni-chōme much, have you?”

“No,” Kou grudgingly admits. “I’ve only been a handful of times.”

“Well, let’s go to a café and grab a bite to eat while you check out the scenery,” Itoh suggests.

“Okay.”

 

Their conversation over the next hour is actually fairly pleasant. Itoh has lots of questions about the fellowship in New York, and Kou finally feels flutters of excitement as the reality sinks in that he’ll be moving halfway around the world for the opportunity of a lifetime.

“Man, I’d _love_ to be there in February,” Itoh sighs.

“What’s in February?” Kou asks, biting back the only American holiday he can think of during that month, Valentine’s Day. _Don’t lead him on, Kou._

Itoh’s eyes bug out. “Fashion Week, obviously! I mean, of _course_ Paris would be the _best_ , but New York is amazing in its own right.”

“Do you want to design clothes?” Kou asks. _Itoh-san is very competent as a manager, and he certainly knows a lot about fashion, but I didn’t know he was that serious._

“Oh, _heavens_ no,” Itoh says, giggling a little as he waves the thought away. “I don’t have _any_ creativity myself, but I certainly know what works together. And Fashion Week is _all_ about what works together. Mm-hmm. And those models _definitely_ ‘work together,’ if you know what I mean.” Itoh nudges Kou with his elbow.

“So you like the model type, Itoh-san?” Kou asks, starting to feel relieved. _Maybe I misunderstood him, after all._

“I like many different types,” Itoh says, “but I like your type the best, Motomi-san.”

Kou blushes. “Itoh-san!”

Itoh giggles. “I’m kidding. I don’t actually have _a_ type – like I said, I have _many_ types.”

“You’re really different tonight, Itoh-san,” Kou observes, taking a giant gulp of his beer. He doesn’t know how to handle this Itoh. Kou can’t tell if Itoh is teasing him, making fun of him, or trying to flirt with him. _Or is he doing all three at once?_

“Ni-chōme is the only place I feel like I can truly be myself,” Itoh says, draining his own glass.

“So you needed to let off some steam, too?”

“Yeah. So let’s move on to somewhere we can do that a little better.” Itoh signals their waiter for the check.

_I thought we were already letting off steam._ But Kou has already figured out that Itoh will end up getting his way in the end, so Kou chooses not to say anything. Instead he smoothly picks up the check and hands it back to the waiter along with Tokawa’s five-thousand-yen note.

“I’m supposed to treat you as congratulations,” Itoh protests.

“Blame Daiki. He tricked me into accepting this money to treat you as thanks,” Kou explains.

“What’s the deal with you two, anyway? You seem very close, but you said he doesn’t know about you. Is he your straight crush?”

Kou nearly spits out the last dregs of his beer. He coughs for a minute before finally managing to gasp, “No way! Daiki? He’s like my little brother. The parkour community is very small, so we’re practically family. That’s all.”

“Would it bother you if I went to his gym?” Itoh asks.

“Of course not! Why would it?”

Itoh shrugs. “I don’t know. It looks fun, so I think I want to go, but I wasn’t sure if that’d be weird for you.”

“As long as you don’t tell Daiki about… you know.”

Itoh rolls his eyes. “I know. Now let’s go.”

 

Kou doesn’t really know his way around Ni-chōme. It’s interesting peeking into the different bars and seeing the different types at each establishment, especially with Itoh’s running commentary.

“This is an okama bar. You should see their float at Rainbow Pride.”

“What’s Rainbow Pride?”

Itoh rolls his eyes. “You really don’t get out much, do you? It’s Tokyo’s gay pride parade. It’s coming up. You should come.”

 

“You might fit in here. They like jocks.” But Itoh continues walking briskly past the establishment. When Kou peeks in, he notices the jocks are not-so-subtly flexing their muscles as they stand around.

 

“Keep away from the twinks. They’re full of themselves.” Itoh doesn’t slow down, and Kou barely catches a glimpse of the young men eying each other while trying to strike flattering poses.

 

“You don’t want a daddy, do you?” Again Itoh rushes past without waiting for an answer.

_How much older does your partner have to be to count as a daddy?_ Kou wonders. _Kei-san never_ felt _that much older than me, and he didn’t act superior._

“You’re thinking too much again,” Itoh chides. “Want to get a sex massage?”

Kou squeaks.

“If you’re nervous, we could get a couple’s massage,” Itoh says but immediately bursts into a fit of giggles. “Your face!” he gasps. “Relax, I was joking.”

Kou doesn’t peek into the massage parlor.

 

“How about a leather bar?” Itoh smirks as they walk past.

Kou stares wide-eyed at the men clad in collars, cuffs, and studded leather pants and shirts. “They look like Hard Gay Razor Ramon.” Kou gasps when he notices some of the collars are attached to leashes.

As he hurries away, Itoh gives him the side eye. “Did you like him?”

“No! I just… He was the only gay person on TV besides okamas, you know? And I just wondered…”

“Whether all gay people are like that?” Itoh finishes the thought for him. “I did, too. Turns out he’s not even gay.”

“Oh.”

 

“We could go to a public bath,” Itoh suggests. “Literally let off some steam.”

Kou finds himself shaking his head before he even really has time to think about what it’d be like in a bath where the men are all checking each other out.

 

“The mama here speaks English. You want to go in and talk to him?”

Kou peeks in at all the tall foreigners. _I’m already short by Japanese standards. I’m going to be treated like a kid in New York, aren’t I?_ “I’m good,” he says as one of the foreigners licks his lips and leers suggestively at him.

Itoh laughs. “He looks like he wants to eat you.”

“I don’t want to be eaten,” Kou declares, walking a little faster.

“You’re a seme?!” Itoh stops dead on the sidewalk, staring at Kou and asking a little too loudly.

A group of men walking in the other direction burst out laughing.

Kou blushes. “No! I mean, not no, but not yes, either.”

“You’re reversible?”

Kou shrugs. “I don’t know. I want to try both. Maybe I’ll have a preference, I don’t know. But I think… it’s probably more yes than no?”

Itoh’s eyes bug out as his mouth drops in shock. “You didn’t do it with that office worker?”

Kou scowls and starts walking again. “We’re supposed to be taking my mind _off_ Kei-san, remember? Now wasn’t there somewhere you wanted to go?”

Itoh rushes to catch up with him. “Sorry. But wait… you said you want to try both – does that mean you’ve never tried either? You’re still a virgin?”

Kou glares at Itoh but says. “Kei-san was my first boyfriend. We were going to, but… things happened.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry if I upset you. I had no idea you were such fresh meat.” Itoh grins, and once again Kou wonders if Itoh is making fun of him or flirting with him.

Kou shrugs.

 

“Alright, this is the place I was telling you about,” Itoh says, turning a corner.

Kou sees the simple black-and-white sign and freezes. “Not here,” he says.

“You know the place?” Itoh asks. “They have good food, and it’s a quiet place with a nice atmosphere. No assholes.” Itoh has placed his hand on Kou’s back and is leading him to the door.

_What if Kei-san is here?_ But even as Kou’s heart flutters in anticipation, he realizes that it’s unlikely. _Kei-san said he’d only been to Ni-chōme a few times with Asami to entertain clients – but since Asami has Aki, he wouldn’t need to entertain clients in Ni-chōme anymore, right?_

While Kou is lost in thought, Itoh has been guiding him towards the door. Itoh opens the door for him, and Kou stumbles in. He can’t help but look around just in case Kirishima is there.

Kou doesn’t even really have to look. His eyes are immediately drawn to the face that haunts Kou’s dreams every night, the face Kou has to push out of his mind a thousand times a day so he can focus on work or conversations with friends or even just brushing his teeth.

His heart leaps at the expression on Kirishima’s face, but even as Kou begins to smile, Kirishima’s face falls. Kou feels Kirishima’s gaze on Kou’s back, and he finally notices the presence of Itoh’s hand there.

Kou immediately shrugs away, but he has little room to maneuver as a waiter stops to unload a tray laden with food and drinks at the table right in front of the door. Meanwhile, someone enters the bar behind Itoh, pushing him closer to Kou.

“Kirishima-san!”

Kou’s head whips around. He takes in the athletic young man in t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. _He looks like someone who’d show up at a jam._

Kou feels a stab of jealousy as Kirishima waves over the young man with a “Sakuragi-kun!”

As the young man rushes over to the corner to join Kirishima, Itoh observes in a low tone, “He’s wearing the outfit you picked out for him to pick up someone else. That’s harsh. Sorry.”

Kou barely registers what Itoh is saying as Kou watches Kirishima point out another young, athletic man to his companion.

“Hey, is this where you two met? You were saying you didn’t want to come in here, but you didn’t want to go anywhere _else_ , either, so I just assumed you were nervous. Sorry,” Itoh continues.

Kou finally stirs himself to answer. “Sort of. We didn’t _meet_ here, but this is where we ended up the night we met.”

“Was that your idea or his?” Itoh asks.

“His,” Kou admits, trying not to stare as Kirishima flags down a waiter and orders a drink for his companion. _They look so natural together. Is that my replacement?_

“Maybe we should –” Itoh stops talking abruptly as a hand waves in front of Kou’s face.

“Earth to Kou!” Akihito says loudly.

Kou finally tears his eyes away from Kirishima. He hadn’t even noticed Akihito was here. “Aki, don’t…”

“Don’t what, Kou? Talk to you? Hasn’t your little pout-fest gone on long enough?” Akihito pleads.

Kou tries not to roll his eyes. “Seriously, Aki. Please. I can’t right now.”

“Well then, when will be a good time? You blocked my number, so I can’t call you. And you won’t pick up when I call from someone else’s number.”

“You were calling me at all hours of the day and night. What was I supposed to do?” Kou counters.

“You never minded before,” Akihito points out. “Can’t you forgive me already? I’m sorry.”

Kou’s anger ebbs, but it’s replaced by a heavy fatigue. “Do you even know what you’re sorry for?” he asks wearily.

“No. Just tell me, and I won’t do it again,” Akihito pleads. “I’m really sorry.”

Kou sighs. “Aki, I already told you. Grow up a little, okay?”

“But Kou-ou,” Akihito whines.

“Aki, I can’t. Not right now, okay?” Kou’s voice cracks. He glances over at Kirishima’s table again. Both Kirishima and his companion hastily look away.

Akihito follows Kou’s gaze. “Are you still hung up over Megane-san? If he means that much to you, I’ll try to convince him again what a great guy you are, though he’s really stupid not to have figured it out already.”

“That’s not it,” Kou mutters.

“What is it?” Akihito asks.

“It’s… Aki, where were you when –” Kou stops abruptly when he notices Itoh is listening. _I can’t ask Aki about the night before he was taken to Hong Kong here._

“What?” Akihito asks again.

“Never mind. We’ll talk about it later,” Kou mutters.

“When?” Akihito demands.

“I’ll call you,” Kou says. He can’t help stealing another look at Kirishima. Once again, Kirishima and his companion glance away quickly. Kou turns to Itoh. “Let’s go.”

Itoh’s eyebrows are raised, but to his credit, he doesn’t say anything as he follows Kou out the door.

“Shall we try somewhere else?” Itoh suggests in a fake cheery tone.

“I’d rather just go home,” Kou says, his voice breaking again. His eyes fill with tears, but he fights them back as he starts walking at a brisk pace, hoping Itoh won’t notice.

“Hey,” Itoh says, placing a gentle hand on Kou’s shoulder.

Kou instinctively jerks away again, but Itoh doesn’t remove his hand, instead giving Kou’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, I can tell you’re really hurting right now. It’s okay. I’m not trying anything. Sorry for teasing you so much earlier, but I’m seriously just trying to be your friend right now.”

Kou freezes. _Can I really believe him?_ But after a moment, Kou relaxes. What he really needs right now _is_ a friend, and Itoh’s hand feels warm and comforting.

“That’s it,” Itoh coos. “Let’s step over here for a second.” He gently leads Kou a short way down the nearest alley.

Once they’re out of public view, Itoh wraps his arms around Kou in a brotherly hug. Kou’s breath hitches as he finally loses the fight he’s been having with his tears.

“It’s okay. Let it out,” Itoh soothes.

Kou cries softly onto Itoh’s shoulder. “I can’t believe he replaced me already.”

“I don’t think he did,” Itoh says.

Kou looks up, his tears stopped by his surprise.

Itoh continues. “I could be wrong, but he looked like he was still hung up on you. And I think he’s just friends with the other two guys. I know you were focused on your ex, but the friend who came in behind us looked really uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure he’s straight. And the other one – well, if you even noticed the other one, you noticed he was really into someone else.”

Kou gapes at Itoh. “Seriously?”

Itoh chuckles. “It was really obvious. You seriously only had eyes on your ex, huh?”

Kou blushes, but there’s no point denying it.

“Well, except for the pushy guy. Was that another ex?”

It takes Kou a moment to realize who Itoh is talking about. “You mean Aki?! No way! He’s my childhood friend.”

“And he’s gay, too? That must have been nice to have each other growing up.” Itoh can’t quite keep the jealousy out of his voice.

Kou laughs. “It wasn’t like that. Aki was oblivious. Once I invited him to Ni-chōme and he didn’t even know what it was. He told some of our other friends, and I had to pass it off as a joke. I didn’t end up coming out to him until after I started dating Kei-san.” Kou swallows the tears that are threatening to overflow again at the thought of Kirishima.

“Well, he’s certainly figured things out for himself now. He was hot and heavy with his sexy boyfriend.”

Kou hadn’t even noticed Asami was there, but Kou doubts Akihito would ever go to Ni-chōme by himself. Kou shrugs.

“You guys are in a fight, huh? Do you have anyone else who knows about what you’re going through with the break-up?”

Kou shakes his head. “But I’m doing okay.”

Itoh laughs. “Sure. You look like you’re handling it fine right now.” He gestures at Kou’s tear-streaked face.

Kou sighs. “Okay. I’m a mess. But I’m trying to move on. I’m hoping going overseas will help.”

“Or make you even lonelier,” Itoh counters.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Kou says.

Itoh leans towards Kou. At the last second, Kou realizes Itoh’s intentions.

Kou turns his head, and the kiss lands on his cheek.

“Sorry,” Itoh says. “I know I said I wasn’t going to try anything, but I can’t stand seeing you so sad.”

“I’m sorry,” Kou says, tears running down his cheeks again. “You’re a nice guy, but I’m just not ready.”

“That guy is an idiot,” Itoh mutters. “Can I at least walk you to the train station?”

 

The next day, Kou is attempting to concentrate on finishing up his work project when his phone buzzes. He tries to ignore it, but he’s stuck, anyway, so he finally fishes it out of his pocket.

The text is from an unknown number.

_Congratulations on the fellowship! You absolutely deserved it, and I know you’ll make the most of the opportunity._

Kou is still trying to figure out who the text is from when another from the same number appears.

_Kou-san, I know this is really selfish of me, but I’m still trying to figure out how to keep my promise and be the man you want me to be. You said you won’t wait, and I understand. Just know… I still want to be that man, even if it’s too late._

Kou sets his phone down on his desk and retreats as far away as he can in his small cramped apartment. He ends up curled on his bed, his hands over his ears, trying to silence Kirishima’s voice in his head.

_That’s not fair, Kei-san._

It took everything Kou had not to contact Kirishima over the past two months. For the first two weeks, Kou wrote and erased countless text messages. After waking up one morning to discover he’d fallen asleep composing yet another text, Kou deleted Kirishima from his contacts so he wouldn’t succumb in a moment of weakness.

_I should have blocked his number._

But there’s no way Kou could ever do that. Somewhere deep inside, he’s been nurturing a tiny hope that somehow Kirishima will turn out not to be a gun-smuggling murderer.

Kou lets out a harsh laugh. _Why wasn’t that knowledge enough to make me stop loving him?_

He brings to mind the photographs Detective Yoshida showed him, which have worked as a talisman to ward off any temptation to contact Kirishima over the past two months.

It isn’t working this time.

Finally, Kou can’t take it anymore. He jumps off his bed and races out the door to the nearest parkour spot – Musashino Art University.

He’s avoided coming here over the past two months, having spent way too much time here tracing with Kirishima, but Kou needs to move _now_. He doesn’t have time to go to a spot any farther away.

He starts off on the herringbone building near the bike parking lot, climbing quickly up the side of the building. He wants to try to get on the roof, but there’s no way to reach it from the outside of the building, not even when standing on top of the pole that goes through the center of the external spiral staircase.

Kou cats down the railing of the staircase instead.

“Hey!” someone calls from below. “That’s dangerous!”

When Kou gets to the bottom, an older man walking his dog approaches him. “Young man, are you a student here? You really shouldn’t –”

Kou runs off into the neighborhood next to campus. Once he’s a couple of streets away, he heads west, re-entering campus near the library.

_Hopefully that guy won’t notify the security guards._

Just in case, Kou decides to take to the roofs to avoid security for as long as possible. He practices across the gaps along Motomi Pass, for the first time not worrying about what’s below him.

_Aki does it all the time. I’m in good condition; I don’t know why I was so cautious before._

Kou tries his first big gap-jump, landing easily on a building one story shorter. He barely feels the pain of rolling across the hard concrete through the exhilaration of successfully defying death.

Kou grins. _Now I get why Aki does it. This is amazing._

After fifteen minutes at Motomi Pass, Kou needs a bigger challenge to get the same thrill. He heads over to the student center, which has several square-shaped openings providing natural light to the tables on the open bottom level. The gaps are much too large to jump, but there are lights in the center of each mini-quad, supported by four wires in an X-shape from the corners. Kou climbs down from the roof to test the wire.

The wire is surprisingly taut and feels strong, so Kou decides to walk across it towards the light fixture. When he’s nearly at the light fixture, a gust of wind shakes the wire, and Kou’s right foot slips. Kou lunges forward, grasping the wire with his hands. He’s easily able to catch himself, but the sudden movement catches the attention of students sitting at one of the tables below.

They gesture up excitedly, and one rushes off.

_Shit._

It’s too high to safely drop from the wire, so Kou decides to climb across on the underside hanging with his arms and legs, figuring it will be faster than he can walk across the top. By the time he pulls himself onto the roof, Professor Yoshizuki is waiting there with arms folded across his chest.

“Motomi-kun, congratulations on the fellowship. But how would it look for the university if word got out that an alumnus committed suicide on campus the day after receiving a fellowship the university recommended you for?”

“I’m not trying to commit suicide,” Kou says defensively.

“Right,” Yoshizuki answers, eying the scrapes and bruises Kou finally feels for the first time. “You were just catapulting down stairs, leaping from rooftops, and dangling from wires for fun?”

“Yeah, actually…”

Yoshizuki sighs. “As soon as I heard the security guards scrambling, I knew it had to be you. I had to talk them out of calling the police. Go home before you’re banned from campus. We need you to take a picture for the alumni magazine this week. Try not to scratch up that face. And don’t get arrested and waste this opportunity.”

“I’m sorry, Professor,” Kou says.

He jogs home to find his landlady in his apartment.

“Motomi-san! Thank goodness you’re safe. Shinoda-san from next door saw that you’d left your door open. Your cell phone was ringing on your desk, with your wallet and keys sitting right next to it, so he was worried something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Kou says. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” the landlady says, coming closer. “You’re bleeding! Were you in an accident on your motorcycle?”

“Of course not. I didn’t have my keys or my helmet, remember? I was just exercising,” Kou says.

“Well, be more careful to close and lock your door. We don’t want to attract thieves,” the landlady chides.

When Kou goes into his bathroom to wash up, he finally understands Yoshizuki’s and his landlady’s reactions. He’s got scrapes on both legs, bruises starting to bloom on his calves and forearms, and a bloody gash on his right shoulder from where he ended up rolling over broken glass on one of his roof jumps.

_I barely even felt them._

After bathing, Kou checks his phone. There’s a message from his client. After deleting the texts from Kirishima, Kou immerses himself in his project.

 

The next several weeks pass in a blur of finishing up work projects, filling out forms, shopping, packing, and saying goodbye to friends and family. The day before it’s time to leave, Kou heads to Hanegi Park an hour before the jam is supposed to start.

When he arrives at the park, Kou is surprised to see Tokawa already waiting for him.

“I knew you’d come early.” Tokawa grins.

Kou snorts. “I could say the same about you.”

Tokawa shrugs. “There’s someone who wants to talk to you. He’ll leave before the jam starts if you want him to, but he’d really like you to hear him out first.”

Kou’s heart starts thumping wildly. _I haven’t really had a chance to even think about Kei-san. What will he say?_

Tokawa calls out, “It’s okay to come out now!”

From inside the maze, Akihito’s head pops up.

Kou can’t hide his disappointment.

“Kou, _please_ ,” Akihito begs. “Just let me say this, and then you can punch me or whatever.”

Tokawa wanders off to the far end of the maze and starts practicing some freerunning moves.

“Okay,” Kou says, steeling himself for a repeat of their conversation in Ni-chōme.

“I’m sorry,” Akihito says. He drops down into seiza and places his forehead on the ground.

“Get up, you idiot,” Kou says, glancing around to see if anyone is watching. Akihito stands back up. “What are you sorry for?” Kou asks.

“For not warning you properly. I didn’t realize you would fall so hard for Megane – er, Kirishima-san. I had no idea he was hiding that kind of body under those suits of his.”

“Aki!” Kou buries his face in his hands in embarrassment.

Akihito shrugs. “I told you back when you first started dating him that we never really got along. I only saw him in work mode, and I didn’t realize he was the kind of guy you could fall so hard for. I – I – I _tried_ to warn you, but –” Akihito shrugs helplessly. “I didn’t do enough. I’m _really_ sorry, Kou. I know that doesn’t help heal your broken heart.” Akihito hangs his head.

“Aki…” Kou says. Suddenly he feels small for needing to hear the apology. “It’s okay. I get it.”

Akihito’s head snaps up. “But…”

“No buts. Looking back, you _did_ try to warn me – though you also led me astray when I got worried.”

“I never actually _lied_ , but… no, I did lie. I’m sorry.”

“I get it. You couldn’t betray Asami-san. I just wish…” Kou squeezes his eyes shut.

“You just wish things could be different,” Akihito whispers softly. “I do, too.”

Kou opens his eyes to study Akihito. “For me? Or for you?”

“For _both_ of us.”

“Me, too. But… you don’t really wish that for yourself, right? You’re happy.”

Akihito shrugs. “For now.”

“You need to have more confidence. I… saw the pictures of the hotel the night you were taken to Hong Kong.”

Akihito’s eyes widen. “What? How?”

Kou shrugs. “Things like that get… investigated.”

Akihito narrows his eyes. “Who –”

“Never mind who,” Kou says. “Asami-san risked a lot for you, didn’t he?”

Akihito licks his lips. “I betrayed him that night.”

Kou decides it’s best not to ask how. “And yet he still followed you all the way to Hong Kong?”

Akihito sighs. “Point taken.” He clears his throat. “But what about you?”

“Me? I’m going to New York.”

“I know that. What about you and…”

Kou shakes his head. “It’s over. It has to be.”

 

Tokawa heads back over in their direction after Akihito gives Kou a bone-crushing conciliatory hug.

“Hey, I want to tell you both something,” Kou says.

They both turn and look at Kou expectantly.

“I – um… I…”

“Spit it out, Kou,” Akihito says as Tokawa pulls out his water bottle for a sip.

“I’m gay,” Kou announces.

Tokawa sprays water out of his mouth and starts coughing.

Even Akihito turns red. “Kou! Did you really have to say it like that?”

“What? You’re the one who told me to spit it out!”

“I didn’t know what it was!”

Tokawa finally recovers enough to choke out, “That – that actually makes a lot of sense. So were you and –” He stops abruptly, looking at Akihito.

Akihito stares back at Tokawa for a second. “Wait, do you know Ki-  er, Megane-san?”

“Aki!” Kou protests.

“What? I didn’t say his name! If Daiki knows, he’ll know who I’m talking about. If he doesn’t, he’ll have narrowed it down to half of Tokyo. Or I guess a quarter of Tokyo: glasses-wearing men.”

Tokawa nods. “Yeah. That makes _so_ much sense.” It’s obvious things are clicking into place for Tokawa in a way that can’t be undone by any amount of protest.

“That’s not going to be a problem, is it?” Kou worries. “I really only meant to tell you about myself because I plan to live more openly in New York, and I didn’t want you to find out on social media.”

Tokawa waves a hand. “It’s fine. I really don’t care about stuff like that. Thanks for telling me.”

As if to prove his point, Tokawa starts practicing his freerunning moves again.

Kou starts bounding and vaulting across the maze. Somehow his steps have never felt lighter.

 

Before he knows it, Kou is sitting on the airplane. He stares out the window at the rainy sky.

“Business trip?” the man sitting next to him asks.

“Something like that,” Kou answers. He still can’t really believe he’s leaving Japan. He searches the horizon, but Shinjuku’s towers aren’t visible through the low-hanging clouds. Even as the plane takes off, though, his eyes are still drawn to the spot where he knows Sion to be. Forced to sit still, Kou becomes aware of the quiet tugging feeling in his chest he’s been trying to ignore for the past three months.

_Goodbye, Kei-san. I’ll always love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is taken from the song "The Labouring Man's Daughter" by Karan Casey.
> 
> I actually hadn't planned on having Akihito and Kou make up before Kou left, but your comments changed my mind.
> 
> Next we go back to Kirishima's perspective. We still have about five chapters left, I think (give or take a bunch, since I'm horrible at estimating).


	28. Addicted to a Certain Kind of Sadness (Spindrift Blue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will seeing Kou with another man finally push Kirishima to figure out his 'midlife crisis'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again the characters led me in unexpected directions. Kirishima insisted I start the chapter where I did, and the first 4/5 of the chapter happened thanks to his decision.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> Japanese terms:  
> senmu: Suoh’s job title  
> shōchū: a Japanese liquor that's 90 proof (45% alcohol by volume), much stronger than beer or sake  
> goukan: a drinking party for men and women to meet potential dating partners  
> bian: a lesbian

When Sakuragi enters the bar, Kirishima tosses back his drink and busies himself with calling the waiter, trying to distract himself from looking at Kou and his date. But Kirishima’s eyes can’t stop peeking. _At least Kou-san is kind enough not to do too much PDA in front of me._

“Is that Motomi-san?” Sakuragi whispers, his eyes following Kirishima’s.

Kirishima sighs and nods. “That guy hit on him while we were on our first date. I guess he moved in as soon as he found out Kou-san is single.”

“We’d know if he were living with someone. We haven’t even seen him _with_ anyone before – besides his parkour friends and business clients. It’s got to be a first date,” Sakuragi reassures Kirishima.

Kirishima is too caught up watching Kou and Akihito’s interaction to register what Sakuragi is saying. Kou suddenly glances over at them, and Kirishima and Sakuragi both look away quickly.

“Is he doing it on purpose?” Sakuragi whispers.

“What?”

“Did he bring that guy here to get a reaction out of you?”

Kirishima ponders the question for a fraction of a second before shaking his head. “That’s not Kou-san’s style. Besides, he wouldn’t have had any reason to think I was here.”

_Which means Kou-san didn’t come here looking for me._ Kirishima reminds himself of the bitter truth that Kou won’t come looking for Kirishima ever again. He gulps down the rest of his drink.

“Motomi-san looks really uncomfortable. I don’t think the date is going well,” Sakuragi whispers encouragingly.

Kirishima grins ruefully. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up. They look far more suited to each other than Kou-san and I ever did.”

Sakuragi stares at Kirishima. “You need to get your eyes checked. I think you need new glasses.” Sakuragi looks again at Kou and Itoh and shakes his head.

Kou glances over at Kirishima and Sakuragi again.

“See?” Sakuragi hisses. “He keeps looking to gauge your reaction. Do you want me to pretend to be with you?”

Kirishima bites back a laugh at the nervous expression on Sakuragi’s face just thinking about it. “No thanks. He hates dishonesty. Besides, I don’t mind if he realizes I still wish we could be together.” _Wishing won’t make it happen, though._ Kirishima empties his glass.

Kou and his date leave soon afterwards, and Kirishima tries his hardest to push all thoughts of Kou aside so Kirishima can focus on helping Saji have a good Ni-chōme debut.

It’s nearly impossible. Saji is so busy hitting it off with the stranger that he doesn’t notice, but poor Sakuragi has to bear the brunt of Kirishima’s broodiness.

“Sorry,” Kirishima apologizes for the fourth time when the conversation dies again. “I’ve never been a great conversationalist.”

“That’s not true,” Sakuragi protests. “Sure, you’re a bit quiet, but that’s just because you wait until you have something interesting to say rather than chattering mindlessly just to fill the silence. Relax. We don’t have to talk.” He sips his beer and looks around the room, his eyes falling on Asami and Akihito. He chuckles softly. “I almost feel sorry for Takaba-sama.”

Kirishima follows Sakuragi’s gaze. Akihito’s face is aflame as he struggles to get out of Asami’s embrace.

“Would you let go already?” Akihito bursts out. “People are staring!”

“That’s only because you’re making so much noise,” Asami says. “But if you’ve had enough of our date, let’s go home.”

“Date?!” Akihito splutters. “You dragged me from work like a caveman and brought me here only to pester me. This is hardly a date. We didn’t even get a chance to eat anything.” While Akihito complains, Asami picks him up and tosses him over his shoulder, heading towards Kirishima’s table.

“Thanks for the idea, Kei,” Asami says. “Sorry if I intruded too much on your atmosphere.”

Kirishima tries not to let the surprise show on his face at this unexpected apology, but an instant later he realizes Asami’s true intentions for coming over when Asami continues speaking.

“Nice jeans, by the way. Kazumi asked for a picture. Do you mind?” Asami laughs heartily as Kirishima blushes all the way to the root of his hair. He tries to cover his embarrassment by slugging back his fresh drink.

Asami heads out the door, still laughing, as Akihito continues to pound ineffectually on his shoulder, screaming “Put me down, bastard! I can walk!”

“How long have you known Asami-sama?” Sakuragi finally breaks the silence, keeping his face carefully neutral behind his glass.

“Since high school. He was my senpai,” Kirishima mutters, scowling.

“I see.” Sakuragi takes a sip of beer while Kirishima eyes him suspiciously, wondering whether the smirk Kirishima detects on Sakuragi’s face is just Kirishima’s imagination. Sakuragi sets his glass down carefully as he asks, “Is it the same for Senmu-san?”

“No. Kazu-nii’s my cousin.” The truth slips out before Kirishima can stop it. _I really need to stop calling him that._

Sakuragi raises his eyebrows. “That actually...” Kirishima braces himself to hear how different they are, but Sakuragi surprises him by continuing, “… makes a lot of sense.”

“It does?” Kirishima asks before he can help himself.

“Yeah.” Sakuragi nods. “Maybe I should be surprised, but somehow I’m not. You’re both exceptional in a wide range of skills and abilities, you’re both very intelligent, and you’re both good listeners.”

Kirishima blushes. “I’m really not –”

Sakuragi waves his hand dismissively. “I find that Japanese false modesty annoying. You don’t have to bother with it.”

“But –”

Sakuragi sets his glass down. “I’m going to check on Saji. We don’t want him imprinting on the first man he sees in Ni-chōme.”

“Imprinting?” Kirishima asks.

“You know, like a baby duck thinking the first thing it sees is its mother. I’m going to make sure this guy is okay.”

“He did seem like a bit of a player,” Kirishima observes.  As he watches Sakuragi converse with Saji and his new friend, Kirishima tosses back the rest of his drink.

_Mother duck. Kou-san said something like that about me once. But if I_ did _imprint on anyone, it was probably Asami-sama. When Kazu-nii asked if I’d ever had a friend before meeting Asami-sama, I couldn’t deny the truth. Asami-sama attracts ducklings. He cares about us, but he also uses it to his advantage._

Kirishima shakes his head. There’s no use thinking about Asami’s manipulative behavior now. Besides, manipulation isn’t really the right word – it implies some sort of deliberate attempt at deception on Asami’s part. Kirishima knows better than anyone that Asami has always been this way. His analytical mind is too clever and quick-witted to ignore any potential ramifications of the actions he takes. When making decisions, everything is considered together at once, the way a grandmaster chess wizard can play ten games simultaneously, deciding on each move in a fraction of a second.

Kirishima is startled when an arm is draped over his shoulder. He raises his eyebrows at Saji, who quickly removes his arm.

“Sakuragi said you’re brooding. Sorry, I didn’t even notice when Motomi-san came in. We can check with the other guards, find out if anyone’s ever seen him with that guy before.”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about that right now. What happened to your guy?”

Saji shrugs. “He had to catch the last train. Besides, he’s not ‘my’ guy. He was alright, but he was the first guy I met.”

Kirishima drains his glass. “Want to move on to another shop? Maybe we can find someone more your type somewhere else.”

Sakuragi and Saji exchange quick looks.

“What? Going to one shop and talking to one guy for a few minutes is hardly a debut, is it?” Kirishima asks. “Let’s give you a proper Ni-chōme debut.”

“It’s not like I can drink that much,” Saji points out. “I’ve got to be ready in case they call for back-up.”

Kirishima waves his hand. “Takaba is with Asami-sama. They won’t need back-up for at least five or six hours. Probably longer; Asami-sama seemed especially horny.”

Sakuragi picks up Kirishima’s glass and sniffs it. “When did you switch to shōchū, Kirishima-san?”

Kirishima shrugs. “I don’t think I ever _switched_. Now let’s move on to the next shop. This place is too stuffy.”

Sakuragi and Saji look at each other again but shrug and follow Kirishima out the door.

 

Kirishima doesn’t actually know where he’s going; he just couldn’t stand sitting inside the small, stuffy room anymore. He heads off down the street, Sakuragi and Saji tagging along behind him. Kirishima occasionally turns down one alleyway or another. After fifteen minutes of this, Saji finally ventures to ask, “Um, Kirishima-san? We’ve passed a lot of places, and I don’t think there’s much left in Ni-chōme. Is there a specific place you have in mind?”

Kirishima glances down the side streets at the next intersection and spots an outdoor café. “Here,” he mutters, leading the way.

“Didn’t we already pass –” Saji starts but stops when Sakuragi kicks him in the shin.

Kirishima doesn’t notice. He tests the metal railing that encloses the café’s seating area. “Do you think this is stable enough for parkour?”

Without waiting for an answer, Kirishima performs an underbar through the railing, which wobbles a little but remains upright.

Sakuragi and Saji hastily jump over the railing behind Kirishima, being careful not to topple it.

“Um, Kirishima-san, maybe we should…” Sakuragi trails off as Kirishima sits down at a table and calls a waiter over.

“We’ll have oolong tea,” Saji quickly orders for everyone.

“Make mine a shōchū,” Kirishima corrects, frowning.

“Kirishima-san, I thought you had to work tomorrow,” Sakuragi reminds him.

“I’m not that much of a lightweight. Do you remind Asami-sama about work when you’re guarding him and Takaba?”

“Of course not. I’m sorry,” Sakuragi murmurs. He exchanges another helpless glance with Saji, who shrugs.

“So? Do you see anyone interesting?” Kirishima asks, taking in the other men around the café.

Saji looks around, too. “Not really.”

“What about him?” Kirishima says, openly pointing to a wiry young man in ripped jeans and a muscle shirt, shoulder-length hair pulled back in a ponytail, arms folded across his chest.

Saji shrugs. “He looks okay, but he doesn’t look like he wants to be disturbed.”

“Maybe he’s just shy,” Kirishima counters. He gets up and heads over towards the man.

The man raises his eyebrows at Kirishima. “What do you want?”

“My friend thinks you’re cute,” Kirishima says, gesturing back at Saji.

The man gets up and strides across the café to Saji, grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt. “What did you say about me, punk?”

“No- nothing,” Saji stammers, exchanging a confused glance with Sakuragi, who has risen to his feet.

“Did you call me ‘cute’? Don’t fucking insult me!” The man pushes hard against Saji’s chest, but Saji and Sakuragi are ready. Saji’s chair tips back, but Sakuragi catches it and rights it while Saji kicks out with both feet.

The man backs up, narrowly avoiding the kick, and strides out of the café without a backwards glance.

Saji stands up, but Sakuragi puts a restraining arm on his shoulder. “It’s not worth making trouble for Asami-sama. You’re not hurt, are you?”

“I’m fine,” Saji says, scowling. He wheels on Kirishima, who has stumbled back to the table, mouth agape. “What the fuck did you say to him?”

“I just told him you thought he was cute,” Kirishima says. “I had no idea he was so… unstable.”

Saji breathes out hard through his nose. “A dude like that doesn’t like being called cute.”

“So I observed. I’m sorry,” Kirishima says.

A bubble of laughter erupts from Sakuragi. Both Kirishima and Saji turn to stare at him.

“What’s so funny?” Saji demands.

“Just… This is way more fun than a goukan.”

“It’s not funny,” Saji mutters.

“Dude, you could have totally taken him.” Sakuragi tries to placate Saji.

“Let’s just drink our tea and go home.” Saji sits back down with a huge sigh.

“I’m sorry I ruined your debut,” Kirishima says, frowning as he pushes his glasses up his nose.

“You didn’t,” Saji says, smiling reassuringly. “It was fun. But it’s been a long day, and it’s late. Ni-chōme will still be here tomorrow. You’ll come with me again sometime, right, Kirishima-san?”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Sakuragi whines.

Saji rolls his eyes. “You’re welcome to come, too, but don’t annoy the bians too much.”

“Bians?”

“You know that waitress at the first shop was gay, right?”

Sakuragi’s mouth drops. “What are you talking about? She was really nice to me!”

Saji laughs. “Are you an asshole to dudes because you don’t want to date them?”

“Of course not,” Sakuragi says, reddening. “Seriously? I feel so dumb. How could you tell?”

Saji shrugs. “Actually, I have no idea. She might have been straight for all I know. I was just messing with you.”

Sakuragi punches Saji in the arm while Saji and Kirishima laugh.

Saji rubs his arm but turns to face Kirishima. “It’s good to finally see you smile. It’s been a rough night for you, huh? I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Anyway, I’m fine,” Kirishima says gruffly.

 

“Should we try to get a taxi?” Sakuragi suggests when they finish their drinks.

“Let’s walk,” Kirishima suggests. “It’s not that far, right?”

Saji and Sakuragi exchange looks again.

“That’s getting really annoying. Just say what you’re thinking,” Kirishima tells them.

“Sorry,” they both say.

“It’s just – please don’t go telling strange guys I think they’re cute again,” Saji says.

“I won’t! I already learned my lesson. I’ll be a good wingman and stand by your wing from now on,” Kirishima promises.

“And don’t go doing any more parkour in sketchy places,” Sakuragi adds.

Kirishima sighs. “That railing held up just fine. I tested it first.”

 

As soon as they’ve made their way out of Ni-chōme, Kirishima spots a railing separating the sidewalk from the road. “Hey, we can do some balance work!”

He climbs up onto the railing and starts walking across its top, wobbling unsteadily.

“Kirishima-san, come down,” Sakuragi pleads, tugging on Kirishima’s shirt.

Kirishima loses his balance and hops down next to Sakuragi, frowning at him. “You made me fall.”

 “Better on the sidewalk than in front of a car,” Sakuragi counters.

“I wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall in front of a car,” Kirishima says. He climbs back onto the railing.

“Kirishima-san, please. You’re being really troublesome,” Saji says. He holds Sakuragi back from pulling Kirishima down again, whispering, “He seems like the obstinate type when he’s drunk. If you push too hard, it will just make things more difficult.”

“I’m not obstinate,” Kirishima protests. “If it makes you happy, I’ll stick to cat crawls. That’s boringly safe, right?”

“Fine,” Sakuragi sighs.

“You could join me. It’s good training for all the barbed wire crawls in the race,” Kirishima points out.

“I’ve trained enough today, and we’ve got an early session at the gym tomorrow,” Sakuragi retorts.

Saji hops up on the rail behind Kirishima. “Why not?” he says. “Whenever you can squeeze in some extra training, right? It’s more fun than walking.” But by the time they reach the end of the short block, Saji is happy to hop down. “Okay, that’s enough. Man, that’s a good arm workout.”

As soon as they cross the street, Kirishima climbs back up on the railing. Sakuragi groans when Kirishima walks on the top of the railing again.

“The light’s red. No cars are coming. I’ll get down as soon as it changes,” Kirishima promises.

A truck turns left and rattles past Kirishima, the side mirror nearly knocking him in the shoulder. He loses his balance avoiding the mirror and hops over the bushes onto the sidewalk.

“Will you knock it off now?” Sakuragi asks tensely. “This is more stressful than guarding Takaba-san.”

Kirishima glares at him. “I don’t need you to watch me. Anyway, I’m being careful. Nothing happened.” He strides across the next street, and Saji and Sakuragi jog to catch up to him.

Thankfully, there are no more railings for the next few blocks. Sakuragi groans when the railing reappears.

Kirishima scowls at him. “Fine. I’ll go over there instead.” He runs across the road to where he’s spotted a couple of buildings with outside staircases.

“Kirishima-saaaan,” Saji calls as he sprints after Kirishima.

“Can you please not kill us all?” Sakuragi asks, placing his hands on his knees as he tries to regain his breath.

“What? It was a crosswalk,” Kirishima says.

“You crossed against the light!” Sakuragi explodes in frustration.

“There’s not that much traffic now. It was safe,” Kirishima defends his actions.

“For you, maybe…” Sakuragi mutters, shaking his head. “Let’s go home now, okay?”

Kirishima does a gate vault over the fence blocking the end of the alley leading to the outdoor stairs.

Saji sighs but follows him. “You realize it’s the middle of the night, right? We don’t want to wake anyone up.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Kirishima says, jumping up to a horizontal support bar, climbing onto it, and then grabbing the underside of one of the stairs. He shimmies to the end and pulls himself up the railing. He climbs over the railing and looks down at Sakuragi and Saji staring up at him. “This is a great spot!” he calls down. “What are you waiting for?”

Sakuragi and Saji have a hasty whispered conversation. Sakuragi hisses back, “It _is_ a good spot, but we’ll come back in the daytime. Let’s go!”

“But we’re already here now. I don’t want to go home yet.”

Saji doubles over, clutching his stomach.

“Are you okay?” Sakuragi cries, looking concerned.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Saji says, covering his mouth with his hand.

Kirishima hurries back down. “Let’s get you home,” he says, putting an arm around Saji’s waist.

 

Once they’re in the corporate apartment building, Saji straightens up. “Thanks. I feel a lot better now.”

Kirishima stares at him. “That was quick.”

“It was the only way we could think of to make you stop acting crazy,” Saji confesses.

“I wasn’t acting crazy!” Kirishima protests.

“You kind of were, Kirishima-san. Are you going to be okay? Promise us you’ll go inside and go straight to sleep,” Sakuragi says.

Kirishima scowls. “I told you I can hold my liquor.”

“Yeah, you’re _holding_ it alright,” Saji says, “just not very well.” Kirishima starts to protest, but Saji holds up a hand. “Maybe it’s not the liquor. Maybe you’re just upset about seeing Motomi-san. I understand. But injuring yourself isn’t going to make you feel better.”

“I wasn’t trying to injure myself. I was being careful!”

“You were being reckless. That’s not like you,” Sakuragi says. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I think you’re right; I should just go to bed. I’m sure I’ll be able to put things into perspective in the morning. I’m sorry for being so troublesome tonight. Thank you for your help.” He bows and heads up the stairs.

“Kirishima-san, it’s okay. We’re not mad. We’re just worried about you,” Saji calls after him.

But Kirishima doesn’t turn around. Once he’s in Yoneda’s apartment, he takes off his shoes and collapses on a chair, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

_What the hell am I doing? That’s not like me. I was supposed to be helping Saji-kun, not the other way around._

Kirishima’s mind drifts back to the moment when he saw Itoh’s hand on Kou’s back.

_Sakuragi is probably right – things didn’t seem to be going well between them. But it doesn’t change the fact that sooner or later, Kou-san is going to find someone else – unless I can figure out how to be worthy of him soon. Kou-san said he wasn’t going to wait, and Kou-san doesn’t lie._

Kirishima sits up. Is that his answer? He takes a deep breath.

_Even though I have the guys and parkour and the race and my job and Asami-sama and Kazu-nii, it’s not enough. I don’t want to live my life without Kou-san._

Kirishima slumps back against the chair.

_But what about my vow to Asami-sama?_

He rakes his hand through his hair.

_I was so young when I made that promise. I never thought I’d regret it._

Kirishima shakes his head.

_No. I don’t regret it. I really don’t. I just… how long is ‘enough’?_

Kirishima groans as he rubs his head again.

_“Tell me honestly, do you think you’ve done enough already, Kei?”_

Kirishima sits up again.

“I don’t know, Ryuichi. What would _ever_ be enough for you? Yoh spent seven years in Hong Kong. You know I would have done the same if I could have – but I never could have fooled Fei Long. Still, I’ve given you more than twice as many years since making my vow. And I’ve served you faithfully for over twenty years now – more than half my life, and the age I was when I made my vow to you. Isn’t that enough?!”

Kirishima’s voice echoes off the walls, and he claps his hand over his mouth.

_I’ve got to be careful what I say out loud. I said too much to Yoneda-kun yesterday, too._

Kirishima rubs his eyes. He knows he would never betray Asami – and Asami knows that, too.

_“If you regret your promise, it’s only a matter of time before you_ will _betray him.”_

Suoh sounded so sure when he said it. At the time, Kirishima thought it was ridiculous – but he hadn’t truly started regretting his promise to Asami yet.

_Wait, does that mean I regret it now?_

Kirishima shakes his head.

_I don’t_ regret _it. I just… don’t want to be beholden to it anymore. I’ve had enough._

“But that doesn’t mean I’d _ever_ betray Asami-sama, Kazu-nii,” he mutters resolutely.

 

Kirishima’s ruminations are interrupted by an overwhelming urge to pee. He pushes himself out of the chair and stumbles on his way to the bathroom, catching himself on the doorframe.

_Am I actually drunk? But I didn’t drink_ that _much…_

He thinks back over the evening and remembers that the waiter recognized him. _He never gave us the bill, either._ Kirishima tries to recollect how many drinks he finished. He loses count at eight – and that was just at Geinki.

Kirishima groans. _I embarrassed myself._ He sends a quick text to Saji and Sakuragi.

_Sorry for the trouble tonight. The waiter kept refilling my glass, but I should have kept better track. Thanks for taking care of me tonight. Next time will be my treat._

Sakuragi’s reply comes quickly.

_Go to bed, Kirishima-san._

Kirishima glances at the clock. _How did it get so late? Just how long was I moping?_

He starts to compose another apology text but realizes it will wake the guys up again. Instead, he heads to the kitchen for a big glass of water. Hydration is vital for both sobering up before work and preventing a hangover.

Kirishima sits down at Yoneda’s small table with a legal pad and pen. While Kirishima rehydrates, he composes a letter. By the time he’s finished three glasses of water, there are piles of crumpled papers scattered across the table, but Kirishima reads the draft in front of him and nods with grim determination. He leaves the paper on the table and heads to bed.

 

The next morning, Kirishima rereads the letter. He folds it and places it in his breast pocket. Then he sends a text to Kou before he can change his mind.

_Kou-san, I know this is really selfish of me, but I’m still trying to figure out how to keep my promise and be the man you want me to be. You said you won’t wait, and I understand. Just know… I still want to be that man, even if it’s too late._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song "Somebody I used to Know" by Gotye. Because the majority of this chapter was unplanned, it ended where I thought it would basically begin, but I'll be starting the next chapter soon, and the story will really move forward in it (including a bit of a time jump to catch up with Kou).


	29. Only Words Bleed (White)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima and Takaba finally have a real conversation. But what will happen with things heating up in the Kodama-gumi situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write because I knew how it would end and really didn't want to write that part, but it's necessary to the story. Please keep in mind that "no archive warnings apply." Warning for language in this chapter. Note: I can't remember using any Japanese or technical terms in this chapter, but if I did, please let me know so I can add them to this note.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him

“Motherfucker. Let me go to Asami already.” Takaba glares at Kirishima.

“My instructions were to keep you here, safe. That’s what I plan to do,” Kirishima answers calmly. Dealing with Takaba takes a special kind of patience, but Kirishima has had plenty of time to develop it.

“You want to go, too. It’s killing you not to be in the action,” Akihito taunts.

His words sting more than he could know. Kirishima has done everything he can to rebuild Asami’s trust after his mistake in the Suzuki meeting four months ago, but the situation has gotten worse, and tensions in Tokyo are at an all-time high. While Asami has been relying on Kirishima as much as ever, Kirishima still can’t help wondering if he was chosen to guard Takaba because Asami still doesn’t trust Kirishima one hundred percent anymore.

Sensing Kirishima’s weakening resolve, Takaba presses harder. “What if it were Kou? You’d want to help keep him safe.”

Kirishima takes a deep breath to bring himself back to his senses. _It’s Takaba. He’s just trying to rattle you. Don’t rise to his bait – and don’t get distracted._ Kirishima notes that Takaba is glancing at the narrow window above the door again. _Even if he tries to get through that, I can get through it, too, if he somehow manages to block the door._

Kirishima sets his face in his sternest expression. “If I were in Asami-sama’s shoes, I would want Kou-san to be safely away so I could take care of things and not get distracted.”

“I want to _help_ Asami, not distract him!” Takaba protests. He crosses his arms across his chest, groaning in frustration. “Don’t you want to help him, too?”

“I do, and I am. Keeping you away is the best help I can give him right now.”

“Asshole,” Takaba mutters. He turns away from Kirishima and flumps down on the concrete floor.

Kirishima only allows himself to relax slightly. The records room is not the most comfortable place for them to stay, but because it is located in the basement, no matter how much of a fuss Takaba raises, he’s unlikely to reveal their location. As a bonus, there is only a single, sturdy door, to which Kirishima has one of the three keycards. A keycard is required both for entry and exit. The only other vulnerabilities are the small window above the door and the air duct.

Takaba leans back against one of the stacks of shelves. He casually rests his feet on the opposite shelves, but Kirishima isn’t fooled. He can tell that Takaba is testing the shelves to see how sturdy they are.

_Too bad. They weigh over seven hundred kilograms fully loaded. You could catapult off your scooter trying to knock them over, and they wouldn’t budge._

“Stop smirking! Why won’t you let me go help Asami?” Takaba snarls.

“Help him? Like you did with your little exposé on Kodama-gumi? Asami-sama warned you not to go near that story. You used the information we shared to assuage Kou-san’s worries to advance your career at Asami-sama’s expense,” Kirishima spits out. Even now, saying Kou’s name is painful. When Kou never answered Kirishima’s last texts, Kirishima couldn’t bring himself to do anything with the letter he still carries in his breast pocket each day.

“I would never use Asami to advance my career!” Takaba cries. “That exposé was supposed to make things less dangerous!”

“Well, it backfired,” Kirishima says tersely.

Akihito’s face crumples, but he quickly hides it in his hands. “I just want to help Asami,” he mumbles.

“Really? Why don’t you quit that job of yours, then?”

Akihito glares up at Kirishima. “Like I could do that! It’s not that easy. It’s not like you’d just quit your job for Kou, right?”

Kirishima blinks. His mind is as scrambled as if he’d just been sucker-punched. “That’s different,” he mutters.

“You know how hard it is to get a visa to America these days? If Kou hadn’t –”

“I know!” Kirishima snaps back. “Shut up.”

It’s Akihito’s turn to look surprised. “Sorry. I didn’t mean… But you get it, right? I just…” He sighs and buries his face in his knees.

“You really care about Asami-sama, don’t you?” Kirishima says softly despite himself.

Akihito looks up again, his face soft and honest. “Of course I –” His face reddens and he abruptly tries to change tack. “I mean, who would care for an old yakuza like him?”

Kirishima can’t help chuckling. “You could try telling him sometime, you know.”

Akihito scowls. “Who would? That guy’s ego is big enough.”

Kirishima shakes his head. “You’d think so…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Akihito challenges.

“Nothing,” Kirishima says quickly. “Anyway, we’re stuck here for a while, so you might as well get comfortable.”

Kirishima sits down with his back to the door. He takes out his tablet but keeps one eye on Takaba while he works.

After about fifteen minutes, Takaba bursts out, “How can you sit there so calmly when Asami’s in danger?”

Kirishima looks up in surprise. “Believe it or not, I’m doing my job to help keep Asami-sama safe. Anyway, Asami-sama is perfectly capable of handling things.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Are you doubting Asami-sama’s capabilities?” Kirishima raises his eyebrows.

“Of course not. But he wouldn’t keep me away if it weren’t dangerous,” Akihito mutters.

Kirishima chuckles. “There are plenty of aspects to our business that Asami-sama doesn’t want a criminal photographer privy to.”

Akihito rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but he doesn’t lock me in a closet anytime I write an article. If he did –” Akihito can’t seem to find words to express what he’d do, but his glare makes words unnecessary.

“So you understand at least that much,” Kirishima says absentmindedly as he focuses back on his work.

“Huh?”

Kirishima is already too absorbed to notice Akihito’s question.

“What did you mean by that?” Akihito demands.

Kirishima looks up again. “Mean by what?”

“That I understand at least that much?”

Kirishima furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know! You’re the one who said it!” Akihito bursts out, frustrated.

“Did I? I don’t remember. Anyway, I’ve got to concentrate.” Kirishima focuses once again on the data, trying to find any clue that might reveal how far Kodama’s infiltration into Sion’s VIP clients went.

After a few more minutes, Akihito stands up and walks down the aisle between the shelves.

“Those records are all classified,” Kirishima says without looking up. “Anyway, they’re mostly boring corporate documents submitted to the government. _Legal_ and boring.”

“I’m just stretching my legs,” Takaba says. “This room is too small. I’m bored.”

“Don’t bother trying to plant any bugs or cameras in here,” Kirishima says. “Even if we need to access a record, we don’t look at it in here.”

“I can tell,” Takaba says. “This room is too stuffy. And when was the last time you dusted?” He runs a finger along the shelf and holds it up.

“I’ll make a note to have someone take care of that. Now if you don’t mind, please don’t stir up the dust too much. I’m allergic.”

“You’re boring,” Takaba whines. “I really don’t get –” he stops talking abruptly.

“What?” Kirishima sets down his tablet, trying to keep his annoyance hidden. _Don’t let him bait you._

Takaba blushes faintly. “Nothing, sorry. It’s just… No, never mind. You’re working.”

“Just spit it out already,” Kirishima says. “You’ve already distracted me. You might as well finish.”

Takaba blushes redder. “It’s just… Kou said you two had a lot in common, and that you were really interesting to talk to. But every time I try…” Takaba shrugs. “I guess you only talk to people you like.”

“I’m really not that interesting; I’m actually very awkward. But could we please not talk about Kou-san?” Kirishima asks, keeping his voice and face as neutral as possible. He picks up his tablet again.

“Sure, no problem,” Takaba agrees, sounding farther away.

Kirishima glances up again. “Where are you? Stay where I can see you.”

“I told you I’m bored. I’m just going to stretch my legs. Got to stay limber in case there’s some action.”

There’s a scuffling sound. Kirishima peers around the corner to see Takaba swinging his leg back and forth. “Don’t damage the shelves,” Kirishima chides.

“It’s industrial-strength steel. I couldn’t damage it if I wanted to. Look, there’s enough room for me to practice parkour in here. If you let me, I’ll be good.”

“What on earth are you going to practice without using the shelves?” Kirishima asks, looking around.

“Tricking. I guess that’s technically freerunning, not parkour, but whatever. I won’t touch your precious shelves.”

Kirishima sighs. “Fine. You break anything, you buy it.”

“Thanks! I’m going to put on some jams, too.” Takaba pulls out his phone and a portable speaker.

Kirishima sighs again but decides it’s better to let Takaba occupy himself with parkour than continue to stew and contemplate escape. Kirishima settles back against the door and resumes his work. He’s soon able to tune out the sounds of the grinding noise rock music and Takaba’s footfalls as he practices tricks.

Thirty minutes later, Kirishima realizes he hasn’t actually _looked_ at Takaba in a while. _Not wise, Kei._ Kirishima stands and stretches his stiff legs as he says, “Had enough practice yet?”

He turns the corner and sees Takaba climbing the far end of the shelf, reaching towards the air duct.

Kirishima starts to jog down the aisle and nearly trips over the piles of materials that have been cleared from the bottom three shelves. Takaba abandons the air duct cover and scoots across the top of the shelf towards Kirishima instead.

“Sorry, but it’s time for me to go help Asami,” Takaba says as he leans his hands back on the shelf from the neighboring aisle and kicks as hard as he can at the shelf facing Kirishima.

The shelf wobbles, and Kirishima ducks as materials fall off the top two shelves. He dives between the lower shelves that had been cleared of materials, just managing to avoid being hit as the shelf crashes into the one opposite it in the aisle.

The sound of breaking glass diverts Kirishima’s attention from the shelf. _Takaba must have gone out the window above the door._

Kirishima scrambles up the remaining shelf between him and the door. He grabs the emergency exit sign and performs an underbar through the window.

On his way down, he crashes into Takaba, knocking him off his feet. The impact throws off Kirishima’s balance, and he can’t quite get his feet under him for the landing. The ground knocks the wind out of him, but he remembers to spread the impact over as much of his body as possible.

Takaba has already scrambled to his feet. Kirishima snakes out a hand and grabs him by the ankle, yanking hard.

“Asshole!” Takaba cries as he tumbles to the ground. “I could have seriously gotten hurt. What the hell was that tackle?”

Kirishima stares at him. “And had that shelf landed on me?”

Takaba blushes and looks away, scowling. “I knew you could dodge it,” he says uneasily.

“We’re going back in the room now. Don’t make me bring out the handcuffs,” Kirishima says, grabbing Takaba’s arms behind his back and hauling him to his feet.

Takaba kicks out behind him, but Kirishima is ready for it.

He lowers Takaba back to the ground, pinning him with a knee to the back. “Seriously? I thought we were past this nonsense.”

Takaba fruitlessly wiggles around, trying to get loose. “Me, too. Locking me in a room? You’re such a toady.”

“I’m keeping you safe. If you would just _listen_ for once,” Kirishima grits out as he tries to hold the thrashing Takaba down.

“Listen?! I’m not a kid! I can make up my own damn mind!” Takaba shouts.

“You don’t know the risks,” Kirishima says dismissively.

“I would if you’d just _tell_ me.”

Kirishima manages to get his knee over Takaba’s hands. Kirishima reaches into his pocket to grab the handcuffs. “Asami-sama already told you. You ignored him.”

“He didn’t tell me shit!”

Takaba bucks up, and his hands come free. Kirishima scrambles to recapture them with his free hand, but Takaba is ready for that and makes it as difficult as possible by flailing his arms as best he can in the awkward position.

Kirishima leans forward to grab Takaba’s right arm, and Takaba has just enough room to draw his knees to his chest. He rolls to the side at the same time, and Kirishima is thrown in the direction of the records room.

He quickly scrambles to his feet and runs after Takaba. Kirishima is still not fast enough to quite keep up with Takaba, but it’s close. He follows Takaba down the maze of corridors. Kirishima can’t help but be impressed by Takaba’s unerring sense of direction as the photographer leads the way back to the elevator without missing a single turn, despite the fact that Takaba was blindfolded on the way to the records room.

When they’re two turns away from the elevator, Kirishima’s earpiece crackles, and Suoh says, “Kirishima, take cover immediately!”

“Takaba, we need to –” Kirishima starts but stops when he hears the chime for the elevator arriving at their floor.

“Where’s the records room?” a stranger’s voice snarls.

“I told you, I think it’s in the executive suite on the top floor!”

Kirishima’s heart sinks when he hears Yoneda’s voice. Takaba obviously recognizes it, too, as he skids to a stop.

Kirishima claps a hand on Takaba’s shoulder and gestures for him to follow Kirishima. They tiptoe as quickly as they can back down the corridor, Kirishima racking his brain to determine the safest nearby room to take refuge in.

“And I told you that my boss overheard one of Asami’s men say it was in the basement. If you’re not going to be useful, I should just get rid of you right here.”

“The highest security doors require a fingerprint and retinal scan, but go ahead. Just remember to take my finger and eye with you – but I’m not telling you which you’ll need. Three wrong attempts and you’ll set off the alarms. You have a 20% chance of getting it right,” Yoneda retorts, keeping his voice deliberately loud.

Kirishima can’t help but grin at the bold-faced lie. Yoneda is quick on his feet. _It’s actually only a 14% chance, though._ Thanks to Yoneda’s continuous talking, Kirishima is able to lead Takaba farther away from the danger.

“Would you hurry up? And shut up. I don’t like math,” Yoneda’s captor orders.

Suoh communicates with Kirishima again. “I’ve told Yoneda to take him to the records room as slowly as possible. Take cover in the mechanical room.”

Kirishima leads Takaba to the mechanical room and eases the door open.

The mechanical room door automatically locks behind them, but the door has a safety feature such that it can be opened from the inside regardless of whether it’s locked. Kirishima sighs as he looks around the room at all the equipment Takaba could wreak havoc with.

“Don’t touch _anything_ ,” Kirishima warns as he settles down with his back to the door.

“I won’t,” Takaba snaps. “I’m not stupid.”

Kirishima is barely able to restrain his urge to roll his eyes. _Easy, Kei. Don’t let him rattle you. That’s his goal, remember?_

Takaba paces restlessly back and forth a few times before bursting out, “Why are we still hiding? They’re way down the corridor. We need to get upstairs and help Asami!”

Kirishima sighs. “You heard them. They’re looking for _you_ , not Asami-sama. Let’s not make their job easy for them.”

“How do you know they’re not looking for _you_?” Takaba retorts.

Kirishima blinks. “No one would look for me.”

“You’re Asami’s right-hand man. You know more than me. Why _wouldn’t_ they look for you? Anyway, please move.”

“No,” Kirishima leans back against the door. _No one has ever targeted me. Is that because of Asami-sama’s ruthless reputation? Or because I’m just so easily overlooked?_

“Come on,” Takaba pleads. “You heard him. If Asami gave away our location, he’s obviously in trouble. Especially if they managed to catch _that_ guy.” Takaba nods in the direction of the records room, indicating Yoneda.

 _It’s rare for Takaba to acknowledge anyone’s skill, especially anyone working for Asami-sama. Yoneda must have really impressed him. Maybe we should give him more responsibility._ Aloud, Kirishima explains, “They didn’t catch Yoneda. It’s a ploy to figure out what they know and how they know it – and how they’re communicating.”

“You really expect me to believe that Asami would have you lock me in that closet and then let them find out?!” Takaba scoffs, balling his hands into tight fists.

“You wouldn’t have been in any danger if you had just stayed put,” Kirishima points out.

“We were in a dead-end. One way out. Were we supposed to just sit there and hope they didn’t shoot the door open?”

 “We were inside a firesafe. You can’t just shoot through that door – or the walls, either. In a fire, the dampers would close, and we’d have sufficient air to last for over a day.”

“None of that would have mattered if that judoka had let him in,” Takaba retorts.

“Who? You mean Yoneda? He couldn’t have even if he wanted to. Access is very limited.” Kirishima rubs the top of his head. His whole head is starting to ache. _I didn’t hit my head when I landed outside the records room, did I?_

Takaba folds his arms across his chest. “You’re so determined to pretend like everything’s under control, but I can tell you’re worried, too. Let’s go help Asami.”

Kirishima gestures to his tablet. “I _am_ helping. I’d be doing a better job of it if you weren’t distracting me so much.”

Takaba rolls his eyes and pantomimes slamming his head against the wall. “Fine. I’ll find another way out then.”

He follows a large duct deeper into the mechanical room. Kirishima decides to ignore him. _There’s no other way out, and he knows he has to keep quiet._

Kirishima refocuses on his work. He pulls up various security feeds from earlier, starting from when the man searching for Takaba entered Sion. Kirishima observes the man carefully, alert for any covert signals such as rubbing his eye, putting his hands in his pocket, or coughing. Kirishima marks any potential signals to review later. Next, he carefully observes the people in the same room as the man when the potential signals occur, to identify anyone who seems to be watching him.

Kirishima identifies three other men who might be observing the man, though it’s hard to tell because they’re positioned in seats facing him. Kirishima goes back to the footage of the potential signals and watches to see what the potential observers do after each signal.

“Bingo,” Kirishima mutters as one of the observers makes a phone call thirty seconds after the man checks his watch. Kirishima is in the process of sending the information to Suoh when he hears pounding footsteps in the corridor.

“Takaba Akihito! If you want Asami to live, come out now!” someone shouts.

Kirishima stands up. “Takaba,” he says as loudly as he dares, “it’s a trap. Asami-sama is fine.”

“Whatever. I found another way out. I’ll go check for myself,” Takaba calls. His voice sounds far away – not just far back behind the machines, but overhead as well.

 _Shit._ Kirishima races towards Takaba’s voice as the man outside stops running.

“Takaba? Where are you? Come out, come out wherever you are!” The man shouts.

Kirishima runs as fast as he can between the machines. “Where are you?” he hisses. He pauses, looking around and up. He can’t see a ladder anywhere. _I didn’t think the mechanical rooms were connected from one floor to another._

There’s a soft thud behind him. Kirishima spins around, but he has to jump back when a cloud of steam streams out of a valve in front of him.

“Sorry, got to go help Asami!” Takaba shouts as he races towards the door.

Kirishima takes off his fogged-up glasses. He slides underneath the steam and gets back on his feet as quickly as he can to race after Takaba.

“Stop! Asami-sama is fine!” Kirishima shouts.

But Takaba is already yanking the door open.

“Stop! Kou-san would never forgive me!” Kirishima shouts as he lunges at Takaba, tackling him.

There’s a deafening sound, and Kirishima feels someone pushing on his back. _Please tell me that’s Yoneda._

Kirishima tries to roll off Takaba to pull out his gun, but he can’t move. Kirishima reaches for the gun instead, but his arm won’t work, either. It suddenly feels like his back has been stuck with a hot poker.

_Shit. I’ve been shot._

Kirishima tries to ignore the sensations in his body and focus on what’s going on around him. There’s a scuffling sound off to his left, and Kirishima turns his head to look. Everything’s blurry.

_Is that from blood loss? I must be losing blood rapidly._

Takaba is squirming beneath him. “Get off me.”

Kirishima focuses his attention on the scuffling noises. _Is that Yoneda and the shooter?_

“Take cover, Takaba!” Kirishima barks.

“I would if you’d get off – hey, what’s that?” Takaba finally manages to pull his torso out from underneath Kirishima. “Hey, you’re bleeding! Are you alright?”

“Suspect neutralized,” Yoneda wheezes.

Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief.

“Are you two okay?” Yoneda asks, his voice sounding nearer. “Oh, shit! You were both hit?!”

“Take care… of Takaba… first,” Kirishima pants.

“I’m fine,” Takaba says. He holds Kirishima’s head as Yoneda lifts his feet and pulls him the rest of the way off Takaba.

As Yoneda leans closer, his face comes into focus.

 _Oh, I guess I just lost my glasses._ But even as Kirishima thinks this, he realizes his mind is having trouble focusing. _Maybe I_ am _losing too much blood, after all._

“Get Takaba... to safety. And make sure… the information… I sent to Suoh… went through,” he orders Yoneda through fractured breaths.

Yoneda’s earpiece crackles. “Help is on the way. We can stay here,” he says. He pulls out a knife and cuts Kirishima's suit jacket and dress shirt away. “You’ll be okay,” Yoneda says as he cuts a strip off the dress shirt and presses it to a spot on Kirishima’s chest.

Kirishima groans.

“Sorry, got to stop the bleeding,” Yoneda says softly. “Takaba-san, can you hold this here? Press as hard as you can while I roll him on his side. I’ve got to check the exit wound, too.”

Kirishima groans again as he’s moved.

“Sorry. I’m being as gentle as I can. Please hang in there, Kirishima-san,” Yoneda says, not quite succeeding in hiding the worry in his voice.

_It must be bad._

Kirishima’s vision turns to white as Yoneda presses on a spot on his back.

_This might be the end._

“Tell… Kou-san…” Kirishima pants.

“Tell him yourself!” Takaba retorts, pressing harder on Kirishima’s chest as tears stream down Takaba's face. “He’ll never forgive me if you die here.”

“Sh. Let’s not talk about such things,” Yoneda says, his voice sounding more worried than ever. “We’ll have to stay like this until the medics get here. Should be any minute now.”

Kirishima takes as deep a breath as he can. “Tell Kou-san…” he presses on, “that I’m sorry. And I… love him.”

Kirishima focuses on Takaba’s face until Takaba nods.

“Promise,” Kirishima demands.

“I promise,” Takaba swears.

Kirishima relaxes, giving into the blissful temptation of unconsciousness, where he can hopefully feel no more pain, as the medics burst out of the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the song “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran. I'll try to write the next chapter as fast as I can so you're not sitting on pins and needles too long.


	30. Thick Skin and an Elastic Heart (Loam Brown)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While waiting for news on Kirishima's condition, Akihito and Yoneda have their first real conversation. But how is Kirishima?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I know I said I'd try to write the next chapter quickly. I actually have been spending a lot of time on this story, but when I started writing this chapter, I realized I needed to do quite a bit of research to make the story as realistic as possible. Much of that research will apply to later chapters, but I needed to make certain decisions now. Anyway, I probably spent ten times as long researching as writing. I'd say the next chapter will be faster, but I know there's a bit more research I still need to do. (^_^;)
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience. And thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda Takuya: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Kato Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him
> 
> Japanese Terms:  
> fuku-shacho: Kirishima's job title  
> "Onna no burūsu": "Woman Blues," a popular Enka song by Fuji Keiko from 1970  
> Megane-san: "Mr. Glasses," Akihito's nickname for Kirishima  
> Mansion: In Japan, a mansion is a large apartment building

The medics quickly take over, pushing Takaba and Yoneda to the side. Yoneda picks up Kirishima’s tablet and ensures that the data finished transmitting. He keeps one eye on Takaba, making sure he doesn’t try to run away again.

“Asami-sama is fine,” Yoneda says. “See?”

He pulls up a live security feed of the VIP room and shows it to Takaba. Asami is sitting with Kodama and Suzuki. Myriad subordinates from the three organizations are sitting or standing behind their respective bosses.

Takaba takes a shaky breath as he nods at the attacker. “That guy said…” He trails off.

“I know. It was a bluff,” Yoneda says softly.

Takaba gives a jerky nod.

“We’ve got to get you safe,” Yoneda says. “They’re obviously using Asami-sama to get to you, not the other way around.”

Takaba’s jaw drops. “No way! Why would they want to go after me?!”

“Your exposé?” Yoneda reminds him.

Akihito’s face crumples. After a second, he shakes his head. “I’m just a photographer. Besides, Kodama is right there next to Asami. What if it  _ wasn’t _ a bluff?”

“Asami-sama has plenty of help. And his guests are unarmed,” Yoneda assures Takaba. He types a quick message on Kirishima’s tablet before sliding it into his own bag and turning back to the medics. “How is Kirishima-san?”

“We need to get fuku-shacho-san to the hospital immediately. Where is the pilot for the helicopter?” the junior medic answers.

Yoneda gulps. “Kirishima-fuku-shacho-san  _ is _ the pilot. He’s been training me. I’ve completed the training, but I’m still waiting for official approval for my license.”

“Then you’re in charge. Prepare the helicopter,” the senior medic orders.

Yoneda looks at Takaba. “You can ride in the copilot’s seat.”

Takaba shakes his head. “I need to help Asami.” His phone blares out the opening notes to  _ Onna no burūsu _ , and he quickly answers it. “Asami, I -”

Asami interrupts. “Takaba, I need your help.”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“I need you to watch over Kirishima for me.”

“But -” Takaba starts to object.

“He’s very vulnerable right now. I’ll have guards posted, of course, but you’re an expert investigator. You’ll notice if anyone unseemly is snooping around, and you’ll be able to figure out who they’re working for, right?”

“Yeah, of course I could do that,” Takaba says, standing up a bit straighter.

“Good. Then ride over to the hospital with Kirishima, please.”

“Okay.” Takaba picks up his bag. He automatically grabs Kirishima’s crumpled and bloodied suit jacket and shirt, too. As he picks them up, the folded piece of paper falls out of the suit breast pocket. Takaba reaches down for it, but Yoneda snatches it up first.

“I’ll give this to Kirishima-san when he wakes up,” Yoneda offers as explanation.

“I was going to do that,” Takaba says, holding his hand out for the paper.

Yoneda gives him a rueful grin. “Could you really resist the temptation to read it?”

Takaba scowls. “Maybe.”

The elevator arrives with more guards. Once the attacker is secure, Yoneda and Takaba ride to the top of the building while the medics load Kirishima onto the stretcher. Yoneda finishes the preflight check as they finish securing Kirishima in the back bay, and they’re soon racing across the sky towards Kyorin University Hospital.

 

Akihito types on his phone, groans, and erases what he's written. “Why did Kou choose a trip that takes nearly a week?” he grumbles.

“A week? I thought he was going to New York.” Surprise causes the words to slip from Yoneda before he can stop himself.

“How did you know that?” Akihito eyes his bodyguard suspiciously. 

Yoneda shrugs. “I overhear more than you think.”

“You hear too much. Anyway, Kou found a cheap flight to L.A. with a day's layover in Sichuan, and then a domestic flight to New York a few days later. He saved enough on the plane ticket to cover cheap lodging in Sichuan and L.A.”

“What's he going to do in Sichuan?” Yoneda asks. 

Akihito shrugs. “A lake. Hiking. Giant pandas. Mostly he just wanted the twenty-five thousand yen savings. He's going to Tempest Freerunning Academy in L.A., though.”

Yoneda whistles. 

Akihito looks at him askance. “You know what Tempest is?”

Yoneda grins. “You think I could keep up with you if I didn't know a thing or two about parkour?”

Akihito crosses his arms and scowls.

“Have you told Motomi-san anything yet?” Yoneda asks.

Akihito’s face immediately falls. “I can’t. If I left a voice or video message, he’d know something was wrong, and I don’t want him to figure that out at a bad time - who knows when he’ll be able to check his phone overseas? And I can’t figure out what to text him.”

“How about just asking him to call you when he can?” Yoneda suggests.

Akihito frowns. “I started to, but it’s weird, right? I mean, he  _ just  _ left… He’s going to worry if I phrase it like that.”

Yoneda shrugs. “If you  _ don’t _ phrase it like that, he probably won’t call, right? And he’s got reason to worry.”

The furrow between Akihito’s eyebrows grows deeper. His eyes focus through the narrow window next to the waiting room door, peering down the hallway towards the surgical suite. “How much longer do you think it’s going to be?”

Yoneda shakes his head. “I have no idea. It’s already been nearly two hours.”

“They haven’t even scanned his brain yet… I really hope he didn’t hit his head too hard.”

Yoneda frowns. When Akihito told the doctors about Kirishima falling to the ground and then rubbing his head as if he had a headache, Yoneda had pulled up the security feed and watched in slow motion. Kirishima’s head had indeed hit the hard concrete floor as he fell after going through the window of the records room, but the doctors said they couldn’t even worry about that until they stopped the bleeding from the gunshot wound and stabilized Kirishima.

The door opens, and an intern walks inside. She clears her throat nervously. “The main sources of the bleeding have been contained. There was significant blood loss, but the patient is stable. Once the surgeon has finished the procedure, the patient will be taken for a head CT scan. The surgeon will be by in about thirty minutes to provide further clarification on the extent of the injuries, the expectations for recovery, and the potential need for additional surgeries. Do you have any questions in the meantime?”

“So Kirishima-san will be okay?” Akihito lets out a slow breath.

“I can’t make any promises, but he’s made it through the first surgery, which is a good sign.”

After the intern leaves, Akihito breathes a sigh of relief. "They stopped the bleeding and the surgery is over. He'll be okay."

Yoneda starts to say something but swallows hard instead. He knows a little too much about the survival rate of various gunshot wounds; it was part of his training, to reinforce which parts of the body are most vital to protect. Stopping the bleeding is only the first hurdle; there will be significant organ damage and a high chance of infection. The intern mentioned further surgeries, implying that there was significant damage that couldn't be fixed in this preliminary surgery.

Yoneda clears his throat. "Are you going to text Motomi-san now?"

Akihito frowns slightly in concentration. After a moment, he shakes his head. "I guess it makes more sense to wait until Megane-san wakes up. He should decide what he wants Kou to know."   
  
Yoneda nods.  _ I just hope he wakes up. _

They both fall quiet again. Eventually, the doors to the operating suite open, and Akihito and Yoneda watch through the waiting room window as Kirishima is wheeled past on a gurney. His face behind the oxygen mask is ghostly pale, and he's so still he looks like a mannequin. Neither of them can find anything to say after seeing Kirishima, and their silence remains unbroken until a few minutes later when the surgeon enters, wiping his brow with a handkerchief.

“Your friend is a very lucky man, at least when it comes to the penetrating trauma wound,” the surgeon begins. “The projectile entered the right upper torso between the fourth and fifth ribs. It narrowly missed the aorta, heart, and spinal column before exiting between the fifth and six ribs in the front. Somehow the projectile missed all bones. The only organ affected appears to be the right lung. The patient has hemo-pneumothorax - a collapsed lung and subsequent increased pressure in the chest wall - but due to the emergency response team inserting a chest tube shortly after the injury, there is minimal damage. A pulmonary tractotomy has successfully controlled the bleeding while sparing the lung.”

Yoneda and Akihito both breathe a sigh of relief.

“What about his head?” Akihito asks.

The surgeon sighs. “That’s outside my area of expertise. The neurosurgeon will have to explain things better, but right now there are a few areas of concern relating to the patient’s nervous system. The bullet passed so close to the spinal column, there could be some damage from the shockwave. We’ll have to wait and see. The damage could range from no effect to a spinal concussion - which would resolve by itself in a few days - to a complete spinal cord injury, which could be life-changing.”

Akihito gulps.

“It’s too soon to tell if there’s anything to worry about. I just don’t want to set you up with false expectations. As you mentioned, the patient also hit his head. Because he fell with considerable force, there’s a chance that there is some bleeding on the brain. The patient is being scanned right now. He remained stable throughout the surgery, so if there is any bleeding, it might be treatable with nonsurgical methods. If the bleeding is more serious, he’ll have to go in for another surgery quickly. Either way neurological assessments will have to wait until the patient wakes up.”

“What are the potential complications?” Yoneda asks. “And what signs should we look for when we’re in the room with him?”

The surgeon bristles. “We have trained nurses monitoring our patients carefully.”

“Of course, but just in case…. It's better to know as soon as possible, right?” Yoneda presses.

The surgeon sighs. “The most common complication is infection. We’ll be changing the dressings often, but if the patient complains of pain, itching, or burning coming from the entrance or exit wounds or the chest tube, please let a nurse know immediately. Until the patient wakes up, keep an eye out for redness in the skin near the wounds and chest tube, or increased rate or shallowness of respiration.”

Yoneda nods his head.

The surgeon clears his throat. “Obviously we'll know more after the brain scan, but it will be important to watch for symptoms relating to the head injury as well. I'll let the neurosurgeon explain those to you.”

The surgeon bustles out of the room, and Yoneda and Akihito are left waiting again. After a moment, Akihito pulls out his phone. “We should tell Asami.” 

But he doesn’t dial. Yoneda raises his eyebrows.

“Um… did you catch everything the doctor said?” Akihito finally asks, blushing a little.

“I’ll update Asami-sama,” Yoneda replies.

Akihito nods and dials. He holds the phone up to his own ear.

“How’s Kei?” Asami asks without preamble.

“He’s out of surgery and stable,” Akihito answers, raising his eyebrows at Yoneda for confirmation that he’s wording things correctly. Yoneda nods, and Akihito continues, “They’re scanning his brain now and still have to do some other tests. Yoneda-san will tell you more about that stuff. Is everything - are you - when will you get here?”

“Do you miss me?” Asami’s voice takes on that slight mocking tone that always raises Akihito’s ire.

“As if, bastard. I just assumed - any  _ decent _ human being would check on his friend.” Akihito cringes at his own words.

“I’ll be there when I get there. Let me talk to Yoneda.” Asami’s voice betrays no hint of emotion.

Akihito mutters “Heartless bastard” as he hands his phone to Yoneda. Akihito stands, stretches his arms overhead, and walks out the door without a backward glance.

Yoneda continues his explanation to Asami. Takaba is unpredictable, but even if suddenly decided to leave without his phone, Sakuragi and Saji are watching.

Akihito returns just as Yoneda finishes answering Asami’s questions. Akihito hands a can of coffee to Yoneda before opening a second can for himself.

“Thanks,” Yoneda says, surprised by the gesture. “Asami-sama wants to talk to you again.” Yoneda hands Akihito’s phone back to him.

Akihito holds the phone to his ear without saying anything.

After a second, Asami asks, “Akihito, are you there?”

“Yeah,” Akihito mutters, barely audible.

“My meeting has finished. I’ve got a few more things to finish up, but I should be there within the hour. Don’t worry.”

“Who’s worried?” Akihito retorts even as the worried line between his eyebrows nearly disappears.

Yoneda can’t quite hide his chuckle at Akihito’s stubbornness.

“Shut up,” Akihito whispers. “No, not you. That asshole Roof-chaser-san.”

Yoneda’s eyebrows shoot up. He had no idea Takaba had a nickname for him.

When Akihito finally hangs up with Asami, Yoneda says, “Thanks again for the coffee. I didn’t know you knew my name.”

“What’s so surprising about that?” Akihito scoffs. “You follow me around twenty-four/seven.” He watches Yoneda from the corner of his eye as he continues, “Your name is Yoneda Takuya-san. You live in Unit 328 of the Sion Corporate Mansion in Shinjuku. You’re from Ama in Aichi Prefecture just outside of Nagoya, and your girlfriend Kato Shiharu-san still lives there with her family.”

Yoneda is nonplussed, but he does his best not to let it show on his face.  _ I really shouldn’t be surprised. Takaba-san is an investigative journalist, after all. _ Yoneda keeps his face impassive and doesn’t confirm nor deny what Takaba said.

After a few seconds, Takaba bursts out, “Aren’t you going to ask how I found all that out about you?”

Yoneda raises his eyebrows. “Would you tell me even if I did ask?”

“No,” Takaba admits.

Yoneda laughs, and after a second, Akihito joins in.

“I guess you’re not  _ such _ an annoying guy after all,” Akihito says.

Yoneda shrugs.

“This is the part where you’re supposed to say I’m not that annoying either,” Akihito prompts.

“I value my job. I really shouldn’t  _ say _ that people might find you annoying, even by implication.” Yoneda wears a playful expression and only slightly emphasizes the word “say.”

“Hey! You just did!” Akihito cries indignantly, but he quickly follows it with a short laugh. Just as quickly, his face sobers up when a nurse rushes past the waiting room.

They both fall silent. After a few minutes, Akihito quietly says, “This is the second time he’s taken a bullet for me.”

“Hong Kong?” Yoneda guesses.

Akihito’s face clouds over briefly before it settles into a look of confusion because Yoneda didn’t start guarding him until a couple of months after Hong Kong.

“I saw the scar and asked him where he got it,” Yoneda explains. “He didn’t tell me any of the details.”

“Oh.” Akihito is quiet for a few seconds before asking, “What am I supposed to say to him? He already hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Yoneda immediately corrects.

Akihito looks skeptical.

“Your personalities are very different, but he… appreciates how important you are to Asami-sama.”

Akihito’s face falls further.

Yoneda tries again. “He knows you’re not trying to use Asami-sama for his money or power. He knows you’re a kind, big-hearted person. As is he. He’ll be glad you’re okay.”

Akihito bites back a retort, remembering that Yoneda seems to be Kirishima’s friend.  _ And both Kou and Asami have said similar things about Megane-san. Besides, he  _ did _ save my life. Twice. _

“He really is,” Yoneda says, accurately reading Akihito’s thoughts from his face.

“I believe you,” Akihito mutters, blushing a little.

“You could start with ‘thank you,’” Yoneda suggests.

“That hardly seems adequate,” Akihito says. “I wish he’d - I wish  _ I _ ’d listened to him.”

“You wanted to save Asami-sama,” Yoneda points out, “but in the future, it’d help if you realized that’s what we’re trying to do, too. You can rely on us. We’re on the same team.”

Akihito gapes at Yoneda. “But Megane - I mean Kirishima-san - was keeping me locked up in that records room so that I  _ couldn’t _ help Asami.”

“Sometimes the best help you can give Asami-sama is to stay out of his way,” Yoneda counters. Akihito opens his mouth to object, but Yoneda continues, “That goes for us, too. And you don’t have the tactical experience we do.”

Akihito opens his mouth, lets it close, opens it again, and finally says, “But when Asami is in danger - what if it were Kato-san? And you could help her?”

“It depends on the situation. If Shiharu-tan were being held hostage, I certainly wouldn’t rush in without a plan. It’d be more likely to get her killed. And if I let myself get captured, it would make it that much harder to help her escape.”

Akihito gulps as he remembers the events in the parking garage that led to Asami getting shot and Fei Long taking Akihito to Hong Kong. He swallows a painful lump in his throat and nods. “But I’m better at moving on instinct and trusting my body to do the right thing. If I slow down to think…”

“That’s useful in parkour, but when you’re planning a stakeout, aren’t you very meticulous? You’re always aware of multiple exit routes.”

Akihito nods. Another silence falls between them as Akihito contemplates what Yoneda said.  _ It’s not like my way of doing things has worked out so well. Asami lives in a different world than me. The stakes are higher. I can’t afford to screw up again. _

 

After a few more minutes, Akihito pulls out his laptop. Yoneda can't help peeking over Akihito's shoulder.  _ Is he playing a game? Not that I’d blame him for trying to preoccupy himself. The wait is excruciating. _

But Akihito instead opens up a program that lists various WiFi connections. He chooses the hospital staff network. Yoneda watches as Akihito creates a fake network almost identically named. While waiting for hospital staff to fall for the fake network, he plugs the laptop in.

“Should I even ask what you're doing?” Yoneda asks.

“What Asami asked me to do,” Akihito mutters absentmindedly as he watches a list of usernames grow. Once there are ten names on the list, he terminates the fake network. 

“Now let's see what the password requirements are,” he mutters. He accesses the employee portal, types in one of the usernames, enters a random password, and then reads the “incorrect password” screen. “Bingo.”

Yoneda gives a short chuckle at the reminder that passwords must contain at least one uppercase letter, one lowercase letter, and one number, and be at least eight characters long. “You've still got a lot of possibilities, though,” he points out.

Akihito clicks the “forgotten password” button. Two security questions pop up.

“You're not going to use a cracking program?” Yoneda asks.

“Didn’t you read the rest of the ‘incorrect password’ screen? The accounts will lock after three wrong guesses. This will be easier,” Akihito says.

He opens the public staff directory and finds the names and ages of the staff whose usernames he's obtained. He searches the internet for the youngest staff member and opens their social media pages. “This guy seems like a good bet,” Akihito mutters.

He opens the “forgotten password” page for the orderly. “Favorite baseball team? Too easy.” He snorts as he types in “giants.”

“What if he capitalized it? Or used Yomiuri instead?” Yoneda asks.

“If I get unlucky, I'll try those next. But usually young guys are kind of lazy. They'll type it the fastest way possible unless forced.”

Yoneda nods.  _ Now that I think about it, I do the same thing. Maybe I should strengthen all  _ my _ passwords. _

“That's probably a good idea,” Akihito says.

“Did I say that aloud?” Yoneda wonders aloud.

“You didn't have to.” Akihito searches through a news archive database for the orderly's birth announcement. He finds it quickly and jots down a few notes. The orderly's parents’ wedding announcement reveals his mother's maiden name, which Akihito enters into the second security question box.

“That seems way too easy,” Yoneda says.

“He'll get an e-mail notification that I've changed his password,” Akihito points out. “Hopefully he won't check for a while, and I'll have enough time to do what I need to do.”

“Can they trace this back to you?” Yoneda worries.

Akihito rolls his eyes. “I'm using a virtual network. I’m not stupid.”

He starts typing quickly, and Yoneda refrains from asking any more questions.

_ I know I shouldn't be surprised, but he's actually very good at his investigative work. _

Yoneda continues to glance occasionally at what Akihito does, taking note of the names of the programs he uses.

Akihito downloads information on all personnel in the Trauma and Critical Care Center. He even manages to find shift schedules for several departments that might work even indirectly on Kirishima (thanks to Yoneda's assistance in identifying the relevant ones). 

After thirty minutes, Akihito sighs. “I guess that's all we can get from this account. I'd better log off before I'm caught in the act.”

“Caught in the act of what?” a voice asks from the doorway.

Akihito shoves his laptop at Yoneda, who busies himself with logging out of the orderly's account while Akihito throws himself into Asami’s arms. 

Asami cuts their kiss uncharacteristically short to ask, “Any more news?”

“No,” Akihito says as he tries to pull out of Asami’s arms.

Asami sits down on Akihito’s chair and pulls Akihito onto his knee.

“Let me go,” Akihito murmurs, reddening as he glances over at Yoneda.

“I thought I told you not to toss my heart around,” Asami growls as he holds Akihito’s wrists and turns him so that Asami can confirm there’s no damage. “None of this blood is yours?”

Akihito’s eyes well with tears. “No. It’s all Mega -- Kirishima-san’s.”

Asami tears Akihito’s shirt apart to confirm for himself.

“Hey!”

“It’s not like you were going to wear it again,” Asami points out as he nuzzles Akihito’s chest.

“I should have someone get some clean clothes for Takaba-san and myself,” Yoneda says as he makes a beeline for the door without a backwards glance.

As Yoneda stands in front of the vending machine outside of the room to collect himself, he hears the double doors at the end of the hall open. He turns and stands with his back to the waiting room window to guard Asami and Akihito from any wandering eyes as a medical team pushes a gurney through the double doors. 

Yoneda gulps as he gets a close-up of Kirishima’s wan face. “Is he - ?” He begins but doesn’t know how to finish.

“We’re taking him to the ICU,” the neurosurgeon says. “Someone will escort you and your friend to the family room there.”

“I’ll come with you,” Yoneda says. He raps sharply on the window behind him, waiting until the team has fully passed before stepping away.

When Yoneda steps onto the elevator, he notices but doesn’t acknowledge Sakuragi in the back. Yoneda ends up sandwiched between the gurney and the side of the elevator. “Can I touch him?” he asks.

The surgeon nods, and Yoneda takes Kirishima’s hand. “Kirishima-san,” Yoneda starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. He gives a gentle squeeze to Kirishima’s hand. “Kirishima-san!”

Kirishima’s eyes flutter open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from “Elastic Heart” by Sia.


	31. Knock Me Down, Not Forever (Sea Green)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima finally regains consciousness. How is he? And what are Suoh and Asami deciding behind his back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter took less than half as long as the last one to write. Three weeks isn't so bad, right? I'm nearly done with all the research I had to do, so hopefully there won't be any super-long delays with the last few chapters, either.
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience. And thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write. I apologize for not getting a chance to reply individually to your comments on the last chapter, but I did read and appreciate them all.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I have no experience whatsoever with any hospitals in Japan, and all experiences in the hospital were created for drama, not to represent what happens in any actual hospital.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda Takuya: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Kato Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him  
> Yamamoto: Kirishima's neurosurgeon 
> 
> Japanese Terms:  
> Megane-san: "Mr. Glasses," Akihito's nickname for Kirishima  
> soba: a buckwheat noodle  
> saba: mackerel  
> Doraemon: one of the most popular mangas/animes of all time, about a robotic cat  
> kretek: a cigarette containing tobacco and cloves (sometimes with additional flavors)

Kirishima groans as he wakes up. The light is too bright, and anyway his eyelids feel heavy, so he lets his eyes close again after blinking a few times.

“Kirishima-san!”

There’s that voice again.

_ Is it Kou-san? But why is he calling me by my surname? _ The memory of the break-up hits Kirishima again like a shot to the chest.

“Wha- ?” he starts, but it feels like he’s talking with cotton in his mouth. And why is his throat so dry?

“How- how are you?”

Kirishima finally recognizes Yoneda’s voice.  _ What happened? _ There’s only one overwhelming sensation in Kirishima’s body: pain. When he tries to isolate where the sensation is coming from, however, it seems impossible through his massive headache.

_ But that’s not all that hurts. _ Kirishima is aware of a throbbing ache somewhere in his chest area, as well as a shooting pain from his right hip down his thigh.

_ Did I fall doing parkour? _

Kirishima struggles to open his eyes again. He blinks against the strong light.  _ I don’t think it’s the sun. Where am I? _

A stranger’s voice says, “You’re in the hospital. We’re moving you to the ICU.”

It feels like the floor is dropping away. Kirishima hears a chime followed by the sound of doors opening.  _ We must be in an elevator. What happened? _

He searches his memory, but the last thing he can remember is waiting in the records room with Takaba.

It’s suddenly difficult to breathe. “Where - Taka -- ba-san?” Kirishima wheezes.

“He’s downstairs with Asami-sama. He’ll be up soon,” Yoneda says.

Kirishima strains to focus on Yoneda’s face, but everything is blurry. “Is he -” Kirishima tries to sit up, but his body is sluggish, and anyway several pairs of hands are holding him down.

“He’s totally fine,” Yoneda says quickly. “Sorry. You saved him. You were the only one injured.”

Kirishima breathes a sigh of relief and settles back down. As the gurney starts rolling, he drifts back to sleep.

 

“Kei!”

Kirishima groans. Kazumi is always so annoying in the mornings.

“Come on. Time to wake up, Kei!” 

Kirishima tries to roll away from the arm insistently patting his shoulder, but his body doesn't seem to want to move. It feels heavy. And sore.

“Shut up… Kazu-nii,” Kirishima moans. There's something on his face. He tries to reach up with his left arm, but it’s stopped by something wrapped around his wrist. “Very… funny. Un-… un-... Let me go,” Kirishima says.

“You have an IV in that arm. Try not to move it too much,” Kazumi says.

“A what? Can't we... skip... today?” Kirishima squeezes his eyes closed, willing himself back to sleep, where hopefully his head won’t hurt.

“Skip what?” Kazumi sounds genuinely puzzled.

“The gym. Still… sore... from… from… from… the day before.” Kirishima furrows his brow.  _ Why are words so hard? If only my head would stop hurting… _

“You're in a hospital, Kei. There was an accident. The doctors need to do some tests now,” Kazumi says. 

Kirishima groans but tries to blink his eyes open. The light is too bright.  _ Why is it directly overhead? _

Kirishima can't make out anything else in the room beyond vague shapes and shadows. “What… happened?” he asks.

An unfamiliar voice says, “What's your name?”

“Who are... you?”

The woman chuckles. “That's a fair question. My name is Yamamoto. I'm a neurologist. I'd like to ask you some questions if you feel up to it.”

“Okay.”  _ Neur… neur? Did I fall and hit my head? _

“What is your name?”

“Kirishima… Kei. What's… on my… my… chin?” Kirishima frowns. Chin isn't the correct word, but he can't think of the right one.

After a long pause, Yamamoto-sensei says, “There's an oxygen mask to help you breathe. If it's bothering you, we could try taking it off, but if you're not able to get enough oxygen on your own, we'll have to put it back on.”

Kirishima nods.

“There you go. How does that feel?”

Kirishima takes a couple of breaths. He can't really feel a difference without the mask, but his face itches where the mask had been. “I… I…” Kirishima blows air through his pursed lips in frustration. He tries to think of another way to say it. “Want… to… scratch.”

Kazumi reaches over and scratches Kirishima's chin.

“Not there. My… my… higher.”

“Your cheek?” Kazumi guesses, scratching along the line formed by the oxygen mask. 

Kirishima sighs and closes his eyes. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“What day is it?” Yamamoto-sensei asks.

“I… don't know. How long… have I… been here?”

“What year is it?” 

“Heisei thirty. 2018.”

“Excellent. And what's the last thing you remember?”

Kirishima furrows his brow in concentration. He wishes his head wouldn't hurt so much. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment.

“Are you in pain?” Kazumi asks.

Kirishima's eyes snap open in time to see Yamamoto-sensei shake her head at Kazumi.

“My head... hurts,” Kirishima says, “esp… esp… especially when I think.”

“What's the last thing you remember?” Yamamoto-sensei prods again.

“What happened?” Kirishima realizes no one ever answered his question.

“You -” Kazumi starts but is interrupted by Yamamoto-sensei.

“If you interfere with my test again, Suoh-san, you'll have to wait outside. You're as bad as -” Yamamoto-sensei snaps her mouth closed mid-sentence. She directs her attention back towards Kirishima. “Kirishima-san, I'll answer your questions once the test is over, but in order to evaluate your condition to the best of my ability, I need you to answer my questions first. Alright?”

Kirishima nods. “Fine.” He closes his eyes and concentrates again. “I remember... remember... Takaba-san in the… the… room with all the… papers.”

“Is that the absolute last thing?” Yamamoto-sensei presses.

Kirishima nods. “I… think so… unless… Did we have this… this… talk before?” He looks quizzically at the doctor.

“What else do you remember?”Yamamoto-sensei smiles encouragingly at Kirishima.

“Was… Yoneda-kun here? And Takaba-san? And… Ryuichi… br… for a… short time?”

Yamamoto-sensei’s smile widens, but Kirishima is distracted by the rattling of the side rail on his bed. 

Kazumi is gripping the rail so tightly his knuckles have turned white. “I'll wait outside,” he says, his face thunderous. He doesn't so much as glance at Kirishima before stomping out of the room.

Kirishima falters. “Did I… did I… make… why… Kazu-nii… nii… mad?” He groans in frustration. It's obvious why Kazumi is angry; he'd be frustrated by someone talking so slowly, too.

“Some people get angry when they feel helpless,” Yamamoto-sensei explains. “Do you remember what you ate for breakfast?”

Kirishima thinks hard.  _ Have I had breakfast? _ An image of a traditional Japanese breakfast floats into his mind. “... Fish… so… soba... No… Saba. And… soup… soup… miso. Rice… brown… but I didn't… like… soup.”

Yamamoto-sensei smiles. “Very good. I think you're turning the corner.”

_ This is me “turning the corner”? Just how bad was I before? _

 

The examination lasts an hour, and by the end of it, Kirishima is exhausted - and scared. The most frustrating part is not being able to fully understand and process everything Yamamoto-sensei is telling him. He knows that he should easily be able to do so, but the buzzing in his brain won't let him focus.

Yamamoto-sensei is patient and doesn't seem to mind repeating things until he understands, but  _ Kirishima _ minds. His intelligence has been his defining attribute, the trait that enabled him to always be useful to Asami.

_ Who am I if I’m not ‘me’ anymore? _

“So this Brown… Brown… Brown…” Kirishima begins.

“Brown-Séquard Syndrome,” Yamamoto-sensei finishes.

“Yeah… that. It might… go away?”

“You’ve already regained fine touch sensations on your right side, and you can move your toes. You can sense heat on your left side. That's a good sign, but we'll have to wait and see how it progresses.”

Kirishima swallows. “And if… if… it doesn't… pro-... pro-... get… better… Will I… be able to… walk... again?”

“Seventy-five percent of patients with Brown-Séquard Syndrome can walk without assistance after rehabilitation. And remember, your symptoms are not completely consistent with Brown-Séquard Syndrome because you still have some movement and sensation on the right side and pain and temperature sensation on the left, and your spinal cord was not severed. Your chances of recovery from the spinal injury related to the penetrating chest trauma are very good.”

Kirishima nods. “But… my brain?”

“You have a mild traumatic brain injury from striking your head. Right now, your symptoms are mostly consistent with concussion, but you also seem to have additional deficits across various regions of the brain, including those responsible for motor coordination. This is complicating the assessment regarding the spinal injury.”

“Compli...cating… how?” Kirishima asks.

“You have more significant deficits related to your sacral nerves compared to what we would expect from Brown-Séquard Syndrome, but that area was not impacted by your injury.” Yamamoto-sensei shuffles through several pages of Kirishima's chart. “Wait…”

Kirishima waits several moments while Yamamoto-sensei pores through the chart, turning a page occasionally. When he can't take waiting any longer, he asks, “What's wrong?”

Yamamoto-sensei stands up. “Your lower spine was never scanned. Could there have been an undetected injury there? I've got to order that scan.” She hurries out of the room, and Kirishima is left alone for the first time that he can remember since the injury.

_ What does that mean? I might have  _ more _ injuries? Don't I already have enough?  _

Kirishima tries to move his right foot, but he can't tell whether it's working, and he can't see his foot.

_ Yama…-sensei didn't say what's wrong with my eyes. Is that related to the brain injury? How did it happen again? No one told me! _

Kirishima racks his brain, trying to remember what happened after he and Takaba were in the records room. 

“What's wrong, Kei? Are you hurting?” Kazumi rushes back to the bedside.

“I'm fine,” Kirishima says. “What happened?” 

“You were just talking to Yamamoto-sensei. How did your tests go?” Kazumi answers, putting his hand on Kirishima's forehead.

“I don't have a… fever,” Kirishima says, trying to twist away from the touch.

“Just checking.” Kazumi pulls his hand away. “You don't remember Yamamoto-sensei's tests?”

“Of… course I do,” Kirishima grits out. “What happened… to me? My injuries?”

“Kei… I can't…” Kazumi clears his throat. “Focus. Please try to remember. I don't want to keep telling you.”

Kirishima frowns. Apparently they've already had this conversation. “I'm… sorry. Never -”

Kazumi takes Kirishima's left hand. “Don't apologize. You can't help it.  _ I'm _ sorry. I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it.”

“How… many… so… far?” Kirishima asks.

“Three,” Kazumi answers, squeezing Kirishima's hand. “You hit your head when you followed Takaba out of the records room doing that parkour shit.”

“Not… shit,” Kirishima protests.

Kazumi continues as if Kirishima hadn't spoken. “Shortly after that, you got shot protecting Takaba from one of Kodama’s men.” 

Kirishima gasps. “How many… times?”

“Just once,” Kazumi answers. “It hit your back and came out here.” He places his hand gently on Kirishima's chest.

“Did it really… miss… my… my… spine?” Kirishima asks.

“Yeah, at least Yamamoto-sensei seems pretty sure about it. And your heart and everything else important. They were able to save your lung, too.” Kazumi pulls his hand away and leans back.

“Except my… brain?” Kirishima says.

“That wasn't the gunshot,” Kazumi growls.

“I… don't remember,” Kirishima confesses.

“Yamamoto-sensei says you may never remember it. Does that bother you?” Kazumi asks.

“Yeah.” 

“I can show you, if you want to see,” Kazumi offers

Kirishima's mouth suddenly goes dry.

“You don't have to, but I know you. It bugs you not to be able to remember. It's up to you.” Kazumi pulls his tablet out of his jacket pocket.

Kirishima nods, but when Kazumi holds up the tablet, Kirishima realizes it's fruitless. He shakes his head. “Can't… see. Did Yama…-sensei say… why?”

Kazumi frowns. “You can't see  _ anything _ ? Let me -” he stands up, ready to fly out the door again.

“Wait!” Kirishima exclaims. “I can see… vague… shapes. Just not… the screen.”

“Oh. That’s the same then.” Kazumi sits back down. “It’s because of the brain injury. Did Yamamoto-sensei explain it to you? Several areas of your brain were impacted, including those responsible for speech, short-term memory, and vision. And maybe movement.”

Kirishima nods. “She says… I’m… getting… better.”

There’s a long pause before Kazumi says, “Does she? That’s good.”

“You don’t… think so,” Kirishima observes.

“I didn’t say that! I’m not a doctor, so I’m not sure how to tell. You’re at least keeping up with the conversation now. And… well…” Kazumi scratches the back of his head, not sure what to say.

He’s saved by a knock at the open door.

“I heard someone was awake,” Takaba says, standing in the door. “Can I come in?”

Kirishima nods, and Takaba enters, a shape bobbling by his head. As he draws nearer, Kirishima realizes it’s a balloon.

“They said you can’t have flowers in here,” Akihito announces, “so I got you this ‘get well soon’ balloon.”

“Thanks,” Kirishima says as Takaba ties it to the rail of his bed.

Kazumi snickers.

“What’s so… funny?” Kirishima demands.

“It’s got hearts on it!”

Kirishima strains, but all he can see is red.

“They didn’t have a big selection in the gift shop. Somehow I didn’t think Kirishima-san would like Doraemon,” Akihito mumbles.

“It’s fine. I can’t see the… hearts… anyway,” Kirishima says.

Akihito looks at him. “Where are your glasses?”

Kirishima blinks in surprise. He tries to lift his hand to his face, but he’s stopped by the restraint on his wrist.

“Fuck. I’m an idiot,” Kazumi mutters. He opens a drawer next to the bed and fumbles through it. He slips Kirishima’s glasses onto his face.

“Oh!” Kirishima says. He sighs with relief. “That’s… normal.”

Kazumi sighs, too. “I can’t believe none of us remembered before now. Yamamoto-sensei never asked.”

Kirishima notices that the balloon is heart-shaped with flowers and hearts decorating the message in pink and red hues. He snickers.

“Sorry! I can throw it away if you don’t like it,” Akihito says, blushing.

“No… Leave it. It’s… cheerful. Thank you,” Kirishima says. Now that he can properly see, everything else in the room is shades of white or gray.

“I should be the one thanking you,” Akihito mumbles, bowing his head. “For… you know. Saving me. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to… apologize,” Kirishima says.

“Of course I do!” Akihito’s eyes fill with tears. “I didn’t realize it was a trap.”

Kirishima can’t keep the confusion off his face.

“He doesn’t remember,” Kazumi explains to Akihito.

“Oh. Sorry. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it?” Akihito says.

“No. I want to… know,” Kirishima says. He nods at Suoh’s tablet. Suoh shows him the footage of the failed underbar. Kirishima grimaces at the hard landing.

“I didn’t know you’d be coming right behind me like that,” Akihito says.

“Not your… fault,” Kirishima says. “Mine.”

Akihito shakes his head. He grins ruefully. “You’ve got to spot your landing better next time.”

Kirishima laughs, but it causes a sharp pain in his chest, and the laugh sputters into a cough, which hurts just as bad.

“Sorry!” Takaba yelps.

Kazumi offers a spoonful of ice chips to Kirishima, and Kirishima gratefully swallows a few. The cough subsides. Kirishima takes a few measured breaths, collecting himself.

“I’ll get a nurse,” Kazumi fusses, pushing out his chair to stand up.

“I’m fine… now,” Kirishima says. “Just don’t… make me… laugh… again.”

“Sorry,” Akihito says again.

“The other… video, Kazu-nii,” Kirishima says, nodding back at the tablet.

“Are you sure you want to see?” Kazumi asks.

Kirishima nods, but Kazumi still holds the tablet protectively.

“I… need to,” Kirishima asserts.

Kazumi sighs and shows the video of Kirishima’s shooting.

Kirishima nods curtly. “I was… lucky.”

“I’m sorry,” Akihito says again, hanging his head. “I’m glad you’re… alright. Or you’re  _ going _ to be alright.” He clears his throat. “I, um… I haven’t told Kou anything yet. I wanted to wait until I knew more, and you were awake.”

“No!” Kirishima yelps, causing another coughing fit. Kazumi spoons more ice chip into Kirishima’s mouth, and the coughing soon subsides.

“He’d want to know,” Akihito insists.

Kirishima shakes his head. “No.”

“But if  _ he _ were the one hurt, wouldn’t  _ you _ want to know?” Akihito presses.

“Of course. But he’s just getting... settled in... America, right? Anyway, we... broke up.”

“He’d still want to know. He’ll get mad at me if I don’t tell him soon.”

“Why? We have… nothing... to do with... each other... anymore.” Kirishima sets his jaw, trying not to reveal any emotion.

Akihito studies him for a long moment before sighing. “Fine. I won’t say anything for now. But you’re making a mistake. He still cares about you, you know.”

Kazumi clears his throat and tries to signal something to Akihito with his eyes, but Kirishima doesn’t look up quick enough to catch it.

“I should let you rest,” Akihito says. “I brought you some stuff. Magazines, manga, some slippers…” he hands the bag to Suoh and heads for the door, but he turns and adds, “If you need me to do anything, whatever it is, just let me know.”

“Like... what?” Kirishima asks.

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t know. Like watering a plant or feeding a goldfish. Or doing something for you here - maybe reading to you, or running errands. Sneaking in better food.”

“Thanks. I’m… good… for now,” Kirishima says.

“We’ll talk more about what I should tell Kou and when the next time I visit,” Akihito says as he ducks out the door, nearly colliding with some techs who are hurrying into the room.

“You've got to have another scan,” the younger tech tells Kirishima.

“What is this for?” Kazumi asks.

“Of Kirishima-san's lower spine. Didn't Yamamoto-sensei explain? It was never done.”

“I'm coming with him,” Kazumi says, following them out of the room.

When the elevator doors open, Asami is waiting to exit. Suoh takes one look at Asami's face and steps aside, nodding at Yoneda to escort Kirishima down instead.

“Where's Yamamoto-sensei?” Asami demands, his voice nearly a growl.

“She's in an emergency surgery,” a nurse squeaks.

“Tell her she needs to come out and talk to me now,” Asami demands.

“Asami-sama,” Suoh says, placing a hand on Asami's shoulder and giving him a warning look. “Let's go wait for Kei in his room.”

Suoh waits until the door is closed behind them before asking, “What's wrong?”

“They didn't even do all the necessary tests.” Asami throws a stack of papers onto the tray connected to the bed. “If I find out someone is sabotaging Kei’s care…”

“Slow down. What's going on?” Suoh asks. 

“Where were they taking Kei?” 

“To scan his lower spine. Apparently it was overlooked earlier, and he has some symptoms that might indicate an injury there.”

Asami sighs. “That's what the expert in America suggested, as well.”

“The one who specializes in cases of both brain and spinal injury?” Suoh asks. 

Asami gives a curt nod. “We’re getting the best treatment in Japan, but it's not good enough.”

“You sent them the videos, too, right? We never showed them to Yamamoto-sensei.”

“She knew there was a fall!” Asami snaps.

“She knew Kei hit his head. She didn't really understand what happened,” Suoh reminds Asami. 

“It's important to start treatment right away to preserve function.” Asami breathes hard through his nose.

Suoh looks at him carefully. “Are you blaming yourself, Ryuichi?”

“Kazumi. Don't start.” Asami's voice is deadly quiet.

“Kei knew what he was getting into.” Suoh’s tone is matter-of-fact.

“He wanted out.”

“He wouldn't have left before the Kodama situation was resolved. He still hadn't given you his resignation notice, right?”

Asami sits down heavily in the chair by the bed. He tugs absentmindedly on the string of the balloon. “There's always going to be another Kodama situation. I...” he clears his throat and looks at Suoh out of the corner of his eye. “I played on his sense of duty.”

Suoh snorts. “Of course you did. And he knew exactly what you were doing. No one knows you better, Ryuichi - probably not even yourself.”

“Not just his sense of duty. His lack of self-confidence. I made him compare himself to Yoh.”

A muscle twitches in Suoh’s jaw. It takes a moment for him to unclench his teeth and grind out, “No matter what, he still wouldn’t have left before the Kodama situation ended.”

“You’re mad at me,” Asami observes.

“Does that help ease your guilt? I’m not going to do that.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“And that’s exactly why it  _ is _ easing it.”

Asami shrugs. “You know me almost as well as Kei does.” After a moment, he says. “I'm going to accept his resignation.”

“If you do it now, he’s going to think you’re throwing him away.”

Asami swallows. “I know.”

Suoh grabs a chair and pulls it up to the opposite side of the bed. He sits in it and leans forward. “Then do it.”

Asami draws back in his chair. “What - ?”

“Really throw him away.”

“Kazumi.” Asami’s calm, quiet tone belies the rage Suoh knows is boiling just below the surface.

“It’s the only way he’ll be free. You owe him at least that much,” Suoh stares Asami in the eye, not backing down.

Asami sets his jaw in a way that reminds Suoh of Takaba. “I’ll make sure he’s taken care of for the rest of his life.”

Suoh waves his hand. “Obviously - though he won’t accept it. But you can’t have any contact with him  _ ever _ again, no matter how desperate you might become for his advice.”

Asami forces the air out of his lungs through both nostrils. “Fine.”

“Promise me.”

Asami raises his eyebrows. “What will you give me in return?”

“Me.”

“I already have you.”

Suoh sits up straighter and looks Asami right in the eye. “Not like you have Kei, but from this day forward, you will.”

Asami snorts. “You’re a poor substitute.”

“I know. Consider it your penance.”

Asami eyes Suoh. “Don’t try to act like Kei. It’s annoying.”

“I’m not your yes man anymore; I’m your new mother hen.”

Asami ignores Suoh’s last comment as he stands and stretches. “How long does this scan take?”

Suoh shrugs.

“I’m going to smoke. Let me know as soon as it’s done.”

 

Asami takes a long drag on his cigarette as he looks across the meager garden sandwiched between the hospital building and parking lot. He holds the smoke in his lungs for a moment before blowing it out again in a steady stream. He can feel rather than hear someone approach, but he doesn’t bother to turn around.

A hand reaches up and takes the cigarette. Asami watches as Akihito draws the cigarette to his own lips and inhales. He barely draws any into his lungs before he’s doubled over with a coughing fit.

Asami takes the cigarette back and pats Akihito on the back.

“That’s - disgusting!” Akihito sputters. “How can - you smoke - those things?”

“First time smoking?” Asami asks sanguinely as he takes another puff. He savors the rich flavor of Dunhill’s premium blend as the nicotine exerts its calming effect on his mind.

“Of course not,” Akihito snaps, his stubborn look sliding across his face.

Asami’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.  _ Is he bluffing? _ But Akihito’s eyes are open and honest as he slowly grins in delight at having surprised Asami.

“A buddy in high school smoked kreteks. I tried them a couple of times after a few beers,” Akihito explains.

“Those don’t count,” Asami says dismissively.

Akihito shrugs. “They didn’t taste like licking an ashtray, but they’re still smokes. But I didn’t want to get hooked. My grandpa died of emphysema.”

He doesn’t say anything more, silently watching Asami take a couple more drags.

Asami sighs and stubs out the cigarette.

“I didn’t say anything,” Akihito says.

“Neither did I,” Asami retorts. “But your mouth looks lonely.” He leans down and kisses Akihito.

Akihito’s face turns red. He pulls back and glances around quickly. “Asami!” he hisses.

Asami drapes an arm across Akihito’s shoulder and pulls him around the side of the rain shelter.

“People in the parking lot can still see,” Akihito grumbles without pulling away. No one is walking by, anyway. He turns and looks up at Asami. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Asami’s face is stoic.

“Your best friend is in the hospital.”

A muscle twitches in Asami’s cheek. “ _ I’m _ not the one in the hospital, though.”

He waits for Akihito’s taunt of “bastard,” but it doesn’t come. Instead Akihito hugs him around the waist.

“You don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time,” Akihito mumbles into Asami’s shirt.

“Who’s pretending?” Asami growls, pulling Akihito tighter against him.

“You can let  _ me  _ have a turn being the strong one, you know.” Akihito rubs Asami’s back while keeping his face buried, granting Asami the privacy of his facial expression.

Asami indulges him for a long moment before muttering “Cheeky brat” and kissing Akihito on the top of the head.

Akihito continues to hold Asami tight. He finally pulls back a little as he says, “Megane-san won’t let me tell Kou anything.”

Asami holds still. Without a trace of emotion, he asks, “What would Motomi do?”

“I don’t know! He’s already in America, but I met him just before he left, and he’s still head over heels in love with Kirishima-san. And obviously Kirishima-san…” Akihito trails off. He hasn’t told Asami what Kirishima shouted just before shielding Akihito from the gunshot, and he’s not sure it’s a good idea.

“Haven’t you learned your lesson about interfering in other people’s business?” Asami asks.

“It’s not other people; it’s my best friend. And yours. Besides, Kou will be pissed if I don’t tell him anything soon.”

“And what about Kirishima-san’s feelings?” Asami asks.

“He’d want to know if Kou were the one hurt.” Akihito crosses his arms and gives Asami his most mulish look.

“Would Motomi want Kei to know if the situation were reversed?” Asami presses.

Akihito frowns. “Probably not… but if things worked out, he’d forgive me eventually!” He claps his hands together, apparently coming to a conclusion.

Asami places a hand on Akihito’s shoulder. “Hold on. Kei isn’t Motomi.”

“I know that.” Akihito waves his hand as if trying to wave that fact away.

“And Motomi is on the other side of the world.”

“I know that, too.” Akihito frowns as if to ask, “And your point is?”

“Let’s give it a little more time. Kei is already feeling like he’s lost control over his life.”

Akihito’s eyes fill with tears. He gives a jerky nod. Asami slips his hand into Akihito’s and leads him back inside the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song "White Flag" by Sabrina Carpenter
> 
> Asami's and Suoh's conversation was originally planned as an omake, but I couldn't figure out how to leave it out without jumping around too much.
> 
> Oh, and the glasses thing was kind of ridiculous, but once it got into my head, I just couldn't drop the idea. Sorry if it freaked you out too much! Kirishima is only as blind as he's ever been...


	32. In Between My Pride and My Promise (True Blue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirishima Kazuko visits her son. What is Kirishima's family like? And what does Asami need to tell Kirishima?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure where to start this chapter, but then Kazuko told me she needed to visit her son. And then she kind of took over (those Kirishimas really like to take charge!). I've had the broad outline of this work planned since I decided to expand it beyond a one-shot, but every chapter there are little twists and turns before getting around to the plan.
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience. And thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda Takuya: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Kato Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him  
> Yamamoto: Kirishima's neurosurgeon  
> Kirishima family: Katsutoshi (dad), Kazuko (mom), Kiyoshi (oldest brother), Kenta (second oldest brother), Kumiko (older sister), Kei ("the" Kirishima)
> 
> Japanese Terms:  
> Oicho-Kabu: a Japanese card game similar to baccarat; a pair of nines is an excellent hand, and the combination of 8 (ya), 9 (ku), and 3 (za) is the worst hand in the game (equal to zero points and the origin of the name "yakuza")  
> okā-san: a way of addressing one's mother (Asami addressing Kazuko this way demonstrates they have an unusually close relationship)  
> oba-san: a way of addressing one's aunt  
> The Tale of Genji: Japan's first novel, written in the eleventh century  
> kimono styles: there are [so many styles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimono#Styles), such as uchikake, kurotomesode, irotomesode, furisode, and hōmongi, each worn by a different type of wedding participant  
> -nee: an honorific for an older sister (similar to -nii for older brother)

“Kei-chan.”

Kirishima’s eyes flutter open.

“Kei-chan.”

_ Mom sounds so sad. _

Kirishima automatically reaches for his glasses on his bedside table. His hand knocks into the bedrail instead.

“Mom?”

She places his glasses in his hand. Kirishima puts them on and tries to sit up, but it hurts his chest. He glances down at his hospital gown and remembers.

“Kazu-nii… called you?” he guesses.

“An hour ago. I’ve been here for fifteen minutes. I wasn’t going to wake you up, but it sounded like you were having a nightmare. Or are you in pain? Should I get a nurse?” Kirishima Kazuko busies herself feeling Kei’s forehead, adjusting the blankets around him, and fluffing the pillow on either side of his head.

“I’m… fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Kazuko says, blinking back the tears that have filled her eyes and setting her face in a stoically determined expression that Asami would find familiar. “But you’re going to be.”

“Thanks for… coming, Mom,” Kirishima says.

“Of course I came! I would have been here three days ago if Kazu-chan had bothered to call me when he should have!”

Kirishima smiles as his heart is filled with a wave of nostalgia.  _ I never thought I’d miss her fussing. _

“Now, what do you need?” Kazuko asks.

“Nothing.”

“Well then, what do you want?”

“Nothing.” Kirishima honestly can’t think of a single thing he desires right now.  _ Except Kou-san back in my life, but I can’t tell Mom that. _

“Kei-chan...” Kazuko sighs in mock exasperation. “You’ve been like this since you were a child. If there was ever a time to be a little selfish and needy, it’s now when you’re in the hospital.”

“Sorry, Mom. I really can’t think… of anything,” Kirishima says.

“Don’t apologize.” Kazuko brushes the hair off Kirishima’s forehead, even though his hair is too short for the action to be effectual. “You’ve never let me spoil you.”

“You weren’t… the spoiling type.” Kirishima grins.

“Of course not. But I wasn’t  _ that _ strict, either. I just wanted to make sure you would become capable adults,” Kazuko huffs.

“Wasn’t… complaining,” Kirishima says, reaching for her hand.

She takes it. “Maybe you  _ have  _ learned how to be spoiled, at least a little.”

After a long moment, the silence grows awkward to Kirishima.  _ What can I talk about? It’s been too long since I’ve been home. How long  _ has _ it been? _

He strains to think of a safe conversation topic. “How’s the… shop?”

“Kenta-chan and Kumiko-chan can manage just fine without me for a few hours,” Kazuko snaps. “You haven’t been home in two years, even though you live thirty minutes away, and you’re trying to get rid of me already?”

“Didn’t… mean… I meant… in general.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kazuko purses her lips. “You don’t need to worry about that right now.”

“That bad?” Kirishima furrows his brow as he remembers Kou telling him about how poorly designed the shop’s website was.  _ I meant to help fix it. I never got around to it. I never even looked at it. _

“We’ll survive. We always have.” Kazuko kisses him on the forehead.

Kirishima blinks in surprise. They were never a particularly affectionate family, and he can’t remember his mother ever kissing him before.

“I’m… sorry,” he says.

“For what?” Kazuko stares down at him in surprise.

“For not… coming home more. Been… busy.”

“I know how stressful your job is.” Kazuko sighs. She starts sorting through the items on his bedside table, arranging them by size. She glances at the cover of one of the magazines and freezes for a moment, blushing before hurriedly covering it with another magazine.

“What was that?” Kirishima asks. “I haven’t looked… at any of those… yet. Head hurts too much.”

“Where did they come from? You were never into manga.” Kazuko holds up one of the mangas Takaba brought Kirishima.

“Friends who’ve… stopped by. They know I like… to read.”

“I see.”

Kirishima is bothered by the deliberately neutral look on Kazuko’s face.  _ Is it something Takaba brought? One of the guys? Asami-sama? _

He freezes.

_ Asami-sama wouldn’t have brought that gay sex book to the hospital, right? _

Kirishima takes a deep breath and forces himself to relax.

_ It was a magazine, silly. Probably just had an actor Mom has a crush on or something. _

Before Kirishima can worry himself too much, Yamamoto-sensei enters with Asami for the next set of neurological tests.

Kazuko insists on staying, interrupting the doctor more than once to ask questions about the results. Yamamoto-sensei is more patient with her than she was with Suoh.

Once they reach a certain point in the testing, however, Kirishima asks for privacy with the doctor.

“I gave birth to you, you know. There’s nothing I haven’t seen,” Kazuko objects.

“Mom… please,” Kirishima grits out. It’s embarrassing enough having a bag of piss strapped to his bedside for all his visitors to see (though to their credit, everyone has pretended not to notice it). He doesn't need them to see how the doctor assesses his current bladder and bowel function.

“Kazuko-Okā-san, I need to talk to you about something. Would you come have some tea with me?” Asami asks.

Kirishima casts Asami a grateful look. Asami pats him on the shoulder once before leading Kazuko into the hallway.

At the door, Asami directs his attention towards Yamamoto-sensei. “Our teleconference is scheduled for right after this.”

“I know, Asami-san,” Yamamoto-sensei answers. “I’m confident you’ll be back in time for it.”

Asami raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything more. It’s rare that anyone pushes back against him, and he grudgingly has to give the doctor respect for making it clear that the hospital is her turf.

“Teleconference?” Kirishima asks.

“With the specialists in the U.S. who are consulting on your care,” Yamamoto-sensei explains.

“Oh.”

Yamamoto-sensei purses her lips but doesn’t say anything more on the topic. “Well, let’s continue your neurological exam.”

 

Thirty minutes later, Asami and Kazuko return, with Kazuko looking subdued but resolved about something.

“Shall we go to your office for the teleconference?” Asami asks Yamamoto-sensei.

“Can't you have it here?” Kirishima speaks up. Yamamoto-sensei has been explaining things to him as they go along, but he'd like to hear the opinion of the experts first-hand, even if his brain still can't process everything.

“Yamamoto-sensei needs to access her computer for the conference,” Asami explains. “Besides, you've barely had any time with your mom. I'll make sure to tell you everything afterwards.”

“But -” Kirishima starts, but Asami interrupts.

“Kei, you're amazing at taking minutes, so I haven't had to in years, but I assure you I'm equally capable of remembering and summarizing a discussion.”

Asami frowns slightly as if he’s offended by Kirishima unwittingly insulting him, though Kirishima is alert enough to recognize this is mostly an act. Nevertheless, Kirishima stammers, “Of - of course, Asami-sama.” He watches helplessly as Asami and Yamamoto-sensei leave.

“I brought some cards,” Kazuko says brightly, pulling a deck out of her handbag. “Are you up for a game?”

Kirishima shrugs.

Kazuko deals out two cards. “How about Oicho-Kabu?”

“Okay.”

Kazuko deals a second card to each of them. Kirishima can’t hide his smile when he sees he has a pair of nines.

 

After several rounds, Kirishima starts to relax. His brain can do simple arithmetic with the same apparent ease it could before his injury, and he’s grateful it’s doing at least  _ one _ thing normally still.

But within half an hour, he’s tired.

“Let’s stop,” Kazuko says.

“One last round,” Kirishima says, aware that he sounds like a little kid, but not quite able to help it. Lying on his back for days on end is boring.

When Kazuko hands him his third card, he freezes. His hand is an eight (ya), a nine (ku), and a three (za): the lowest possible hand of the game, and the origin of the name “yakuza.”

_ “You’re not yakuza, right?” _

Kirishima remembers the look on Kou’s face when he asked that - and his expression when they broke up. 

_ “Why did I have to fall in love with you? Had I found out the night we met, I would have been disappointed, but it wouldn’t hurt so much.” _

Kirishima’s face clouds over. He may not be yakuza, but he’s still ya-ku-za: the lowest of the low.  _ I’ve been so selfish. Even when I met Kou-san, I just did what I wanted to do. I talked a big game about being a better person, but even after the break-up, what did I do? I just focused on myself and parkour. Sure, I’m working less, but I didn’t use any of that extra time to call my family. I didn’t even remember to check the website after Kou-san told me how bad it was. Doing parkour and hanging out with the guys doesn’t make me a better person. _

“Kei-chan? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” Kazuko asks, bringing him back to the present moment.

“I’m fine,” Kirishima mumbles. “Just tired.” He fakes a yawn.

“Then how about I read to you instead?” Kazuko picks up the item on the top of the stack of reading materials on the bedside table: a hiking magazine that Yoneda brought yesterday. She starts reading an article about climbing Mount Tsukuba, and Kirishima tries to focus on the story to calm his mind down. Soon he’s drifting off to sleep.

 

He’s awakened a short time later by someone rifling through the materials on the bedside table. He opens his eyes and sees Saji holding up a guide to the spring nightlife in Ni-chōme.

“Sorry, Kirishima-san,” Saji whispers, grimacing. “I heard your mom was here, and I accidentally left this here earlier. Sakuragi gave it to me as a joke. I wouldn’t have  _ brought _ it here.”

“Ah. That explains... the look on Mom’s... face,” Kirishima says.

Saji pales. “Oh no! Did she already see it? I can tell her it’s mine.”

“Don’t bother,” Kirishima answers. “She didn’t say... anything about it, and besides… it’s not like it’s not...  _ not _ mine, right?”

Saji looks confused for a moment, but he slowly nods. “If you’re sure… I’m really sorry. Do you need anything? Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine.”

“You really haven’t been eating enough. Your body is in recovery mode. You need to give it good fuel to help it recover as fast as possible.”

“Recovery mode?” Kirishima is bemused by the comparison between the day after a tough workout and  _ this _ .

“Your body’s rebuilding. You can come back stronger than ever,” Saji assures him.

“It doesn’t… work like that.” Kirishima doesn’t want any false promises.

“Well… maybe not  _ stronger _ than ever.” Saji scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “But you were pretty strong to begin with, and you  _ will _ recover. So give your body the fuel it needs!”

Kirishima sighs. “I’ll try.”

Saji claps his hands together. “Good. Now what do you want us to sneak in for you?”

“Sneak in?” Kirishima asks blankly.

“Yeah. To eat. It’ll be easier to eat if the food is tasty, right? You said you like fugu, but it’s not really in season anymore…” Saji frowns in concentration.

“Anything is fine,” Kirishima protests.

“I don’t think we could sneak a grill past hospital staff, so yakiniku wouldn’t work… Okonomiyaki would be too messy… The doctor said you shouldn’t have sashimi for a while… What about takoyaki?” Saji asks, clapping his hands together.

“Sounds good.” Kirishima can’t help but smile at how hard Saji is trying. “Thanks, Saji-kun.”

The guys have been so supportive in their own ways. Sometimes they can be a little awkward, but they keep trying, and when Kirishima has trouble finding a word, they pretend like nothing’s different and just wait for him to finish talking. Suoh is still terrible at hiding how upset he is, and even Asami’s mask has slipped a time or two - or maybe it’s that Kirishima is still too good at reading Asami’s mood behind the mask.

Saji sits down in the chair next to Kirishima’s bed. “You still look tired. Want me to read to you until you fall asleep again?”

Kirishima shrugs. Saji opens up the gay magazine and starts reading an article about the izakaya they went to for Saji’s debut. Soon Kirishima is drifting back to sleep.

 

Kirishima awakens slowly. He becomes aware of voices talking quietly nearby, but he doesn’t feel like opening his eyes yet, so he simply listens.

“... and when I told the guys that I thought I might be gay, they offered to go to Ni-chōme with me. Sakuragi gave me this magazine to read when I was waiting for Kirishima-san to wake up.”

_ I told Saji-kun he didn’t have to do that. _

“And Kei-chan went with you to Ni-chōme?” Kazuko asks.

“Well, yeah. He’d been there before - for work!” Saji answers, hurriedly tacking on the last part when he realizes he almost gave Kirishima away.

_ What is Mom going to make of that? Just what kind of work brings you to Ni-chōme? She’s not going to assume Asami has work mixers there! _

“He’s been friends with Ryu-chan since high school. They’ve always been close.” Kirishima detects a note of pride in her voice.

_ Oh. Maybe she does get it. _

“You mean Asami-sama?” Saji’s voice is so incredulous, Kirishima can’t help opening his eyes to peek at Saji’s expression.

Kazuko is flustered. “I didn’t mean anything by that. I mean - um -”

Kirishima decides it’s time to speak up. “Mom, it’s okay. Asami is... out to... everyone at work.”

“Out?” Kazuko asks.

“Everyone knows he’s... gay. He’s dating... someone now.”

“Oh. I’m glad for him.”

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. “Another man,” he clarifies.

“So I gathered,” Kazuko answers. “That pair of matching yukata you rush-ordered last summer weren’t in your size. But one of them was Ryu-chan’s.”

_ I knew Mom suspected Asami was gay, since he’s never been subtle about it, but I didn’t expect her to be so… accepting. _

“Don’t give me that look,” Kazuko admonishes. “I may run a kimono shop, but I’m not totally stuck in the last century. Besides, if you look at our history, it’s only since western influence that there’s been a taboo about it. Even  _ The Tale of Genji _ has scenes that would make a fujoshi squeal.”

“Mom!” Kirishima protests as blood rushes to his face. “How do you even... know that word?”

“What word? Fujoshi? Kumiko-chan has been using it since high school.”

Kirishima hides his face in his hands.  _ Why couldn’t this stupid blushing be affected by the incident? _

“Did you know that we provided the kimonos for one of Japan’s first gay traditional weddings?” Kazuko continues.

Kirishima pulls his hands away. “And Dad was... okay with that?”

“I didn’t give him a choice,” Kazuko says. “There’s no way we were turning down the sale of two brand-new uchikake as well as kurotomesode, irotomesode, furisode, and men’s formal kimonos for both brides’ relatives, and hōmongi rentals for the rest of the guests. Plus the traveling fee for several dressers, since it was a destination wedding.”

Kirishima whistles. “Sale? Not… not... borrowing?” He frowns. That wasn’t the right word.

Kazuko shrugs. “Naomi-chan’s father owns one of the biggest companies in Japan. He’d always said he would spend however much she wanted for the wedding of her dreams, and while it took a few years, he finally accepted Mari-chan. It was a beautiful ceremony.” She looks at Kirishima. “So… Kei-chan. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Like what?” Kirishima asks as casually as possible.

Saji stands. “I should - I have to -” He rushes out the door without coming up with an excuse as Kazuko says, “You’ve never told me about dating anyone. You can, you know.”

“I’m not… dating anyone.” Kirishima feels acutely again the pain of the break-up.

Kazuko seems to pick up on it. “But you  _ have _ , haven’t you? Want to tell me about them?”

Kirishima sighs.  _ Why not? _ “There was… this year. For the… first time. But we… broke up.”

“What was their name?” Kazuko has a knowing look on her face.

_ How long has she thought I was gay? I’m still not sure that I am! _ But Kirishima gives her the truth anyway. “Kou-san. Motomi Kou-san.”

Kazuko smiles widely.

_ Mom said Kumiko-nee was a fujoshi - don’t tell me Mom is one, too! _

“And?” Kazuko asks. “What is he like?”

“Don’t… really want…” Kirishima’s face clouds over.

“I’m sorry.” Kazuko reaches over and smooths his forehead. “I just… you’ve never told me much about your life. It makes a mother worry. I’m glad you’re not pining away for Ryu-chan anymore.”

Kirishima tries to sit up, but he’s stopped by the traction device. “What?” he demands, staring at his mother. “Ew... gross, Mom!”

Kazuko’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’ve been following Ryu-chan around since high school.”

“That doesn’t mean... I  _ like _ him. I… admire him… but… just… no. He’s… he’s… he’s...” Kirishima gives up; apparently finding words is even harder when he’s feeling stronger emotions.

“Okay. I believe you. Just don’t hide things from me, anymore, okay? I’m your mother. I want to know what’s going on in your life.”

A laugh escapes from Kirishima.  _ If you only  _ knew  _ what I’ve been doing with my life since college. _

Thankfully, Kazuko assumes his reaction is to her deduction that he’s gay. “I just proved I’m not that oblivious, right? I don’t want you feeling like you can’t come home because we don’t accept you. I’ve missed you.”

Kirishima’s heart is full again. “I’m… sorry,” he says again. “I… I just… got too... focused on myself. Won’t… won’t… won’t...” He groans in frustration.

“It’s okay,” Kazuko says. “Just come home more moving forward, okay? You still haven’t even met Kisho-chan. He’s nearly two.”

Kirishima gulps at the mention of his first nephew.  _ I really am terrible. _

Kazuko decides to change the subject. “So what do you think of Saji-kun?”

“Mom!”

 

Once he gets his mother off the topic of dating, Kirishima spends a relaxing afternoon catching up with her. He enjoys the stories of Kisho’s escapades, especially the time he slipped into the workshop and managed to run a spool of thread around everything.

“Let me show you a picture,” Kazuko says, pulling out her phone.

Kirishima stares flabbergasted at the web of thread that connects sewing machines, cutting tables, storage shelves, even the light fixtures on the ceiling. “How -?”

Kazuko laughs. “I have no idea! Kiyo-chan swears he was only in the bathroom for a minute, but it took him six hours to unravel it!”

Kirishima’s eyebrows shoot up. “Six hours? Couldn’t he… just… cut it? At least… once?”

Kazuko shakes her head. “That child has expensive taste. It was a specialty thread for an uchikake, two percent gold. Four thousand yen a meter.”

Kirishima looks at the picture again and imagines his oldest brother trying to untangle the mess without damaging the thread. He starts laughing. “Poor... Kiyo-nii!” he gasps.

Kazuko joins in his laughter. “So… you’ve started hiking again?” she asks, picking up the hiking magazine once more.

“Sort of. Actually, I’m doing more... trail-running. I’m... training for a... mud run.” Kirishima glances down at his body. “Or I was…”

“Sorry. We can talk about something else.” Kazuko quickly says, setting the magazine down again.

“No, it’s okay. I can’t do... the race... this year, but I’ll do it... next year,” Kirishima resolves. “I may not do it...  _ fast _ , but I  _ will _ get... through it.”

“What exactly is a mud run, anyway?” Kazuko wrinkles her nose at the thought.

“That was my... first reaction,” Kirishima confesses, chuckling a little. Soon he’s telling Kazuko all about parkour and the gym. He shows her a few Youtube videos on his phone.

“Do you have any videos of you?” Kazuko asks.

Kirishima blushes a little but opens up his messages and shows a few videos some of the guys have taken. “I’m not very good,” he warns Kazuko.

“You’re amazing!” Kazuko seems genuinely impressed. “I had no idea you were this talented. As a child…” She trails off, leaving the rest unsaid.

“I was… clumsy,” Kirishima admits. “I… still am.” He gestures to his head and his hips. “This was… because I messed up… an underbar.”

Kazuko’s face falls. “Maybe you shouldn’t do the mud run next year. It’s too dangerous.”

“They have… safety precautions. Water or… hay under the… obstacles. And no underbars,” Kirishima explains.

“Still…” Kazuko says.

But Kirishima is determined. Saji is right; he  _ is _ in recovery mode. And it’s time he started acting like it. He resolves to discuss what he can do to regain his strength with Yamamoto-sensei the next time she stops by. She’s mentioned physical and occupational therapy, and Kirishima is ready to get started.

Kazuko sighs; she knows her son well enough to recognize that determined expression. “Well, just be careful. If it’s going to motivate you… Just listen to the doctor.”

“I will,” Kirishima promises.

An orderly comes by with the dinner cart. Kirishima actually feels a little hungry for the first time in the hospital. He looks at Kazuko. “Do you… want…”

“Go ahead and eat. I’ll get something from the cafeteria later.”

Kirishima tucks in, and remembering what Saji said about needing good nutrition to help his body heal, he tries to eat as much as he can. But not having eaten much over the last few days, he feels full before he’s even eaten half the meal.

“You don’t have to force yourself to eat it all,” Kazuko says. “Just eat what you can.”

“Do you want some?” Kirishima offers.

Kazuko eyes his plate but shakes her head. “You should save it. Maybe you’ll have room in a little bit.”

Kirishima shrugs and pushes the bedside table away.

Asami and Suoh enter the room.

“Oba-san,” Suoh says, “I’m so glad you came.”

“Of course I came as soon as you told me. You should have told me sooner.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was just overwhelmed,” Suoh says in a conciliatory tone. “Can I take you out to dinner to make up for it?”

“But -” Kazuko looks at Kirishima, obviously not wanting to leave him. Her stomach gives a loud rumble, betraying her hunger.

“You haven’t had anything besides vending machine food since this morning, have you?” Suoh asks. “There’s a family restaurant less than a kilometer away. I’ll have you back in no time.”

“Go, Mom,” Kirishima urges.

“You’ve spent all day with Kei, and you haven’t seen me in a long time, either, Oba-san,” Suoh gently teases.

Kazuko reluctantly follows him out the door. Asami shuts the door behind them and sits in the chair next to Kirishima’s bed, making sure he’s oriented so that Kirishima doesn’t have to turn his head to look at Asami.

“Kei, I need to tell you something,” Asami says. “Actually, two things.”

Kirishima’s heart races. “Is it about the... consultation with the… Americans? Is something else... wrong with me?”

“No. You’re recovering function hour by hour. But it  _ is _ about the consultation. The rehabilitation center in America is one of the best in the world. The resources here are adequate, but in comparison, there  _ is _ no comparison. I want you to get the best care possible.”

“So you want to… send me… to America?” Kirishima asks. “But what about… my job?”

Asami stares at him. “You can’t work right now.”

“I can… do…  _ something _ ,” Kirishima protests. “I… I…”

“You can’t even talk,” Asami points out.

Kirishima recoils. “I can… write. And... read. And... do math...” The more frustrated he gets, the slower the words are coming out, just proving Asami’s point. Kirishima feels his face burning. He takes a calming breath. “I can…  _ think _ just fine!”

“You need to focus on recovering. There’s a limited window for making rapid improvements; after that, your recovery will stall. Don’t you want to be  _ you _ again?” Asami grinds out.

“I’m still me,” Kirishima objects.

“You know what I mean,” Asami says.

“Of course I want to… recover. But I also want to… work.”

Asami pulls a rust-splattered, folded piece of paper from his inside suit pocket. “Do you?” he asks icily.

“I never… gave that… to you,” Kirishima says.

“No, you just carried it around with you twenty-four/seven for over a month,” Asami says drily.

“But I… never… gave it!” Kirishima repeats, struggling to sit up but once again stopped by the traction device.

“I told you only a fool would force someone’s hand who has conflicting loyalties.”

“I… don’t!”

“I’m no fool. And even if  _ I’d _ never force your hand, someone else already has,” Asami points out.

“I chose… you!” Kirishima’s breathing is ragged. He forces himself to get it under control.

“Did you?” Asami raises up the piece of paper again.

“That… I never gave you that!” Kirishima doesn’t know what else to say.

“You were just trying to find the courage, but you pretended to yourself that you were waiting for the Kodama situation to resolve.” Asami’s tone is as stony as his face, and Kirishima can’t read any emotion behind it.

_ I thought I could still read behind his mask. _ “I just… wrote that… in the heat… of the moment,” Kirishima tries to explain.

“So why didn’t you destroy it when you calmed down? You know never to put anything in writing you don’t want discovered.”

Kirishima gulps. “I was… going to. I just… forgot about it.” The lie barely makes it out of his mouth; he knows how ridiculous it is.

“You forgot as you placed it inside your new outfit every single day,” Asami mocks.

Kirishima swallows. “I… you told me… to talk to… Kurebayashi-sensei. I… was working… it out.”

“You made your choice,” Asami says, holding up the paper for a third time. “Every day for a month. Over and over, you chose.” A muscle clenches in Asami’s jaw.

“I  _ never _ … broke… my vow to you! And I never would!” Kirishima shouts.

“It’s enough, Kei!” Asami raises his own voice. “Your vow - consider it fulfilled.” He crumples the piece of paper and drops it on the bedside table.

“But -” Kirishima starts, but Asami is already rising out of his chair.

“Your true loyalty showed on Saturday,” Asami says as he walks toward the door without a backwards glance.

 

Kirishima can do nothing but sit and blink.  _ What the hell just happened? _

He racks his brain, trying to figure out what Asami meant by Saturday. He snatches today’s paper off the table, checks the date, and deduces that Saturday was the day he was injured.

_ But why does Asami-sama think I betrayed him? I saved Takaba-kun, didn’t I? _

Is Asami calling the fact that Kirishima got injured a betrayal?  _ But I got injured saving Takaba-kun! Besides, Asami-sama seemed to be implying that I chose Kou-san over him. What does Kou-san have to do with Saturday? Did I talk to him at some point? _

Saji knocks on the open doorway. “Kirishima-san? Mind if I come in?”

Kirishima shrugs before he really thinks about it. Saji quickly checks the hall before closing the door behind himself.

“I couldn’t help overhearing. Did Asami-sama just  _ fire _ you?”

Kirishima shrugs again. “I think… so,” he finally acknowledges. Tears prick his eyes, but he blinks them back quickly. Kou was worth crying over. If Asami’s going to throw him away just because he’s temporarily not as useful…

_ You know that’s not it, Kei, _ a small voice in the back of his head says. It’s easy to ignore the voice since Saji continues talking.

“But why?! Because you got injured?! That’s ridiculous!”

Kirishima shrugs. “He thinks I betrayed him.”

“By getting injured?! That’s even more ridiculous!” Saji bursts out.

Kirishima shakes his head. “No… I think… something I… said… or did… Saturday. But I can’t… remember.”

Saji’s mouth drops open, but he snaps it shut again. “That’s also ridiculous. You would never betray Asami-sama.”

Kirishima shrugs. “His standards are… high. Maybe… I did?”

Saji rolls his eyes. “Don’t start doubting yourself. You know you wouldn’t.”

But Kirishima is remembering that Suoh insisted on muting the video of the shooting before showing it to Kirishima. He saw that he shouted something when he tackled Takaba, but he can’t remember what it was. “Can you… show me?”

“Show you what?” Saji asks, not privy to Kirishima’s thoughts.

“The video of… my… shooting,” Kirishima says.

Saji pales. “I’m not sure… That might be…” He shakes his head.

“I’ve already… seen it. Just want… to hear… audio,” Kirishima explains.

That doesn’t seem to convince Saji any. “But -”

“I’m fine. I just… need to know. If I… said anything.”

Kirishima stares into Saji’s eyes until Saji finally nods. “Fine. But I’m stopping it if you get too upset or anything.”

“I won’t.”

They watch the video in silence.

“Ah,” Kirishima says after hearing himself mention Kou’s name.

“That’s it?!” Saji asks, incredulous. “Asami-sama would fire you over that?”

Kirishima shrugs. “To Asami-sama… that’s… a betrayal.”

“Then who could possibly be loyal?” Saji demands.

“For me,” Kirishima amends.

“What does that mean?” Saji asks. “You’re allowed to fall in love. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Kirishima shakes his head. “Not… me.”

“That’s ridiculous! Asami-sama has Takaba-sama. You’re not allowed the same?”

“I… am. Just… not.” Kirishima is suddenly feeling emotionally and mentally drained. He can’t find the words to explain why the rules are different for him than everyone else, especially when it doesn’t seem to make sense to him anymore. “Sorry… can’t…” He gestures helplessly.

“You’re exhausted, aren’t you?” Saji pats Kirishima on the shoulder. “Get some rest. Don’t worry; this isn’t over. I’ll figure something out.”

“No… It’s…” But Kirishima is asleep before he can finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from "In Between" by Linkin Park.
> 
> My friend has a t-shirt that says "The only women who don't like gay romance are those who haven't read it yet." In this story, apparently, that's true.
> 
> I wanted to post an explanation for what Kirishima was trying to explain at the end, but I think I'm going to leave it to you to figure out. The same rule would technically apply to any bodyguard, but it's particularly relevant because Akihito and Kou are good friends.


	33. All That You Measure (Iris Blue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kirishima prepares to leave Japan, the full magnitude of all that he's leaving behind starts to sink in. What realization does he come to regarding his relationship with Asami? Just where is he going in America, anyway? And who dares to call Suoh "kun"?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to get to Kirishima's departure in this chapter, but once I hit 6000 words (with quite a bit more to go), I realized it was going to be two chapters. I chose what seemed to be the best natural spot to break it up. I think the next chapter will be posted fairly quickly after this one since it's already partially written.
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience. And thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and/or leaves kudos. Your support helps motivate me to write.
> 
> Characters:  
> Motomi Kou: Kou, Akihito's friend (I had to give him a last name)  
> Morita: Kirishima's assistant  
> Suzuki: president of Z Corporation (later called Suzuki), has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kodama: a yakuza group that tried to secretly attack Asami while framing the Suzuki Corporation  
> Yamazaki: Kodama's mole in the Suzuki Corporation  
> Tanihara: has a business relationship with Sion  
> Kurebayashi: a psychiatrist employed by Sion  
> Yabu: a physician employed by Sion  
> Itoh: gay manager of a Uniqlo branch who has worked with Kou in the past  
> Yoshizuki: one of Kou's college professors  
> Yoneda Takuya: the head of Akihito's guards  
> Kato Shiharu: Yoneda's long-distance girlfriend  
> Saji: one of Akihito's guards  
> Sakuragi: another of Akihito's guards  
> Saijo: another of Akihito's guards  
> Tokawa: the owner and trainer of a parkour gym  
> Yoshida Misaki: Akihito and Kou's friend from the manga (I had to give him a first name); his dad is a cop who investigated Asami  
> Togawa and Yamaguchi: two of Kirishima's high school classmates who bullied him  
> Yamamoto: Kirishima's neurosurgeon  
> Kirishima family: Katsutoshi (dad), Kazuko (mom), Kiyoshi (oldest brother), Kenta (second oldest brother), Kumiko (older sister), Kei ("the" Kirishima); Megumi (Kiyoshi's wife), Kisho (Kiyoshi and Megumi's son)
> 
> Japanese Terms:  
> the number ten: sounds like the word “enough”  
> the number seven: symbolizes togetherness  
> -nee: an honorific for an older sister (similar to -nii for older brother)  
> oba-san: a way of addressing one's aunt  
> honne: one's true feelings (in contrast to tatemae, the behavior and opinions one presents in public)

_Kirishima hears several people running towards him. He sees the bottom of the fire escape ladder above the bushes next to the incinerator. He runs up the wall and leaps, catching the bottom rung of the ladder. He pulls himself up and quickly ascends the ladder to the roof._   
  
_“Where’s that geeky four-eyed brown-noser?” Yamaguchi asks._   
  
_Kirishima quietly turns around and peers back over the ladder._   
  
_“I still don’t think he’s the one who told Tachibana-sensei,” Togawa says. “He didn’t tell him when he caught us with the cigarettes.”_   
  
_“How else did Tachibana know we snuck out of the dorms?” Yamaguchi retorts. “No one else would have had the balls to rat us out.”_   
  
_“But did Kirishima-kun even know about it?” Togawa asks. “He was asleep when I got back last night.”_   
  
_“They sneaked out of the dorm? Are they idiots?” Kirishima whispers._   
  
_“If they don’t know how to avoid the motion-sensor cameras, they are,” a voice says from beside him._   
  
_Kirishima jumps. He turns and sees Asami leaning against the low wall edging the roof. “Asami-sama,” Kirishima breathes._   
_  
_ _“My useful little assistant. Have you finished the deliveries?”_

_“I've done half of them. I was just… taking a little break.”_

_“A break? Didn't you vow to serve me faithfully and loyally for the rest of your life?  Tell me honestly, do you think you've done enough already, Kei?”_   
_  
_ _Kirishima feels hands pushing him, and before he knows it, the ground is racing towards him. He sees someone else falling._

_It's Takaba._

_Kirishima pushes through the air as if it's water, and he manages to reach Takaba. The swimming pool is fifty meters away. Kirishima pushes Takaba as hard as he can towards the pool._

_He breathes a sigh of relief as he sees Takaba splash down safely. A split second later, the wind is knocked out of Kirishima as he slams into the concrete._

_Everything hurts so bad, Kirishima has to fight to keep from vomiting. But he rolls over and tries to crawl towards the pool to help Takaba out. It's excruciatingly slow, but centimeter by painful centimeter, Kirishima manages to make progress._

_A gentle hand grasps his shoulder. “Stop. We've got this.”_

_“But -” Kirishima grits out._

_“It's enough, Kei! Your vow - consider it fulfilled.”_

_Kirishima is filled with peace but also sadness. He stops struggling and relaxes, quickly succumbing to blissful unconsciousness._

 

Kirishima slowly blinks himself awake. His cheeks feel wet. He reaches for the bedside table and finds his glasses on the edge nearest him.

_Saji must have taken them off for me._

Kirishima glances at the clock. It's 10:07. _“Enough” and “togetherness.” How fitting._

He turns on the bedside lamp and eats the pudding that's been left in place of his dinner remains. Then he pulls out of the stack on his bedside table a pad of paper, a pen, and the new tablet Suoh bought him yesterday, pausing as a sudden realization strikes him. But after a moment, he unlocks the tablet, finds the family's website (now on the fifth search page), and starts making notes.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Saji pops his head in the doorway. “Kirishima-san? You're awake? Do you need anything? Maybe some tea?”

“That sounds good, actually,” Kirishima answers.

Saji heads to the vending machine and returns a minute later with two warm cans of tea.

“Thanks,” Kirishima says as he opens a can.

They sit and drink in companionable silence for several minutes until Saji says, “I just finished my shift. Do you want to talk about… anything?”

Kirishima shrugs.

“About what happened earlier.” Saji clears his throat before continuing, “I talked to Yoneda about it, and -”

“Wait,” Kirishima says, holding up a hand. “Asami-sama didn't… fire me. He only… accepted my… resignation.”

Saji's eyes bug out. “But -”

“I've been carrying my... resignation letter around for... a while.” Kirishima gestures to his left chest. “Maybe you noticed?”

Saji nods.

“I… hesitated about giving it to Asami-sama because I made… a vow to him… a long time ago. Did you know I was his… first employee? Back in… high school.”

“High school?” Saji gapes. “I thought Asami-sama founded Sion after college.”

“During his... last year, actually. But he had a… tailoring business… in high school.”

“Tailoring?!” Saji laughs but stops when he realizes Kirishima is serious.

“His family… were tailors. For the… movers and shakers of Tokyo. But they also… acted as… couriers between their… clients.”

“Ah,” Saji says as understanding dawns.

“My family runs a kimono shop,” Kirishima explains. “Anyway, I made a… vow to Asami-sama when we... started Sion. That's why I'm… different.”

“But you didn't betray Asami-sama! You’re allowed to fall in love. You're only human,” Saji objects.

“That's not… it.” Kirishima draws in a deep breath and tries to explain slowly. “I wasn't thinking… of my charge… first.”

“But you still saved Takaba-sama,” Saji points out.

“Only because he's… important to… both Kou-san and Asami-sama. What if… Kou-san and Takaba-kun had been… together? And I could only… save one?”

“You would…” Saji starts but trails off. He shakes his head. “How likely is that, anyway?”

“Considering that… Kou-san is Takaba-kun’s… best friend? And he… helps him with… investigations… sometimes?”

“But you're not even Takaba-sama’s guard.”

Kirishima shrugs. “I am... often enough. Anyway… as I said, Asami-sama didn't… fire me.”

“But you didn't want to quit!” Saji bursts out. “Did you?” he adds doubtfully, remembering what Kirishima said about a resignation letter.

Kirishima shrugs again. “I told you I… hesitated because of… my vow. It was for… life. I wasn't sure I'd done… enough for Asami-sama… yet. Asami-sama was letting me know I… had.”

Saji's eyebrows shoot up. “That's not what it sounded like.”

“I just… didn't understand… at first. In case you hadn't noticed, my... brain is a little slow… right now.” Kirishima chuckles, but Saji just looks sad.

“But then why didn't Asami-sama make sure you understood?” Saji presses.

“Ah. I'm guessing that's… because of Kazu-nii.” When Kirishima notices Saji’s confused expression, he clarifies, “Suoh.”

“Oh.”

Saji doesn't ask for any additional explanation, so Kirishima continues, “I think… Kazu-nii asked Asami-sama to… make it easier on me. And Asami-sama can be… a bit clueless about relationships… sometimes.”

“I noticed.” Saji immediately slaps his hand over his mouth as he realizes what he's said.

Kirishima chuckles. “He'd be the… first to admit it. But I still won't… tell him what you said.” He laughs harder at Saji's horrified expression at the thought, but Kirishima's laughter soon turns to coughing. He takes a sip of tea to help soothe his throat.

“Are you sure that's what happened?” Saji asks.

“Yes. My brain may be… slower, but it's not… not…” Kirishima groans. He can't think of the word he wants.

“You're still you,” Saji says.

“Exactly. Thanks for… being concerned about me. But I'm… okay now.”

Saji opens his mouth, closes it, takes a deep breath, and asks, “Can I ask you something, Kirishima-san?”

“Of course.” Kirishima straightens up as much a he can to show he's listening.

“Why did you want to resign?”

Kirishima gives a small smile. “I didn't know… exactly where my life would lead. I made my… promise when I was… very young. I woke up recently and realized… I didn't really recognize the man in the… mirror.”

“Did Motomi-san have something to do with that?” Saji asks, blushing a little.

“Yeah.” Kirishima's smile turns sad. “Yes, he did. He reminded me… of who I… used to be. And who I still… want to be.”

“He's in America now, right?” Saji asks casually.

“Yes.” Kirishima realizes for the first time he's going to the same country as Kou. More to keep himself from getting too excited, he adds, “It's a huge country, though. You can... fit twenty-six Japans... inside of it.”

“Do you know where Motomi-san is?” Saji presses.

“New York City,” Kirishima says. He frowns. He can't remember the name of the rehabilitation center he's going to, and no one has mentioned its specific location.

“Is that close to New Jersey?” Saji asks nonchalantly.

Kirishima tries to ignore the sudden acceleration of his heart rate. He raises his eyebrows in feigned nonchalance as he says, “Very close. Why?”

Saji smiles. “That's good. You'll be able to see him again.”

“What?!” Kirishima's heart thrills but immediately plummets. “But we broke up.”

“Well…” Saji shifts uncomfortably. “You had asked us not to tell you anything else about Motomi-san, but given the circumstances…”

Saji pauses, apparently giving Kirishima a choice about whether he should proceed. But there’s no way Kirishima could tell him to stop.

Saji continues, sharing the details he overheard of Kou’s and Takaba's reconciliation. “He definitely hasn't moved on yet,” Saji concludes. “And he's only been in New York for like a week.”

“But that doesn't change the fact that he broke up with me,” Kirishima says.

“But you're both still hung up on each other. Just apologize for whatever it was.”

“It was my job,” Kirishima says quietly.

“Oh.” Saji blinks a few times. “So _that's_ why you resigned. So it's okay now, right?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “I didn’t actually make... the decision to... resign, though. I’ve still got… work to do to become a… better person.”

Saji studies him carefully for several long moments before asking softly, “Are you scared he’ll reject you when he finds out about your injuries?”

Kirishima recoils but meets Saji’s gaze. “No. The… opposite.”

Saji’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Kou-san is too… nice. I don’t want him… to… to… out of pity.”

“But…” Saji starts but can’t seem to figure out how to finish. He sighs. “If the situation were reversed, you’d just be glad to be back together, right?”

“But I wasn’t the one... who wanted to break up in the... first place.”

“But -”

Kirishima shakes his head. “It might be... too late for us. Even if it isn’t, I need to... _show_ Kou-san I’ve... changed. Once I’m a… better person…”

“You’re already a great person!” Saji protests. “And you’ll recover, but you shouldn’t have to wai -”

“I’m not… talking about… my body,” Kirishima says.

“How will you decide when you’ve changed enough?”

Kirishima frowns. “I… don’t know.”

“Shouldn’t Motomi-san be the one to decide? But how will he if you won’t even see him?” Saji presses.

“I… will. Once I’ve… changed enough.” Kirishima sighs in frustration.

“Okay,” Saji says. “I just know if it were me, I’d be upset you thought you had to go through this alone. I would want to be there with you. And I know you want that, too.”

“Not if… it’s pity!” Kirishima bursts out.

Saji recoils. After a moment, he says softly, “No one is pitying you. We’re here because we care about you.”

“I… know,” Kirishima says, even though he doesn’t know.

“Motomi-san still cares about you, too, but I’ll drop the subject, okay?”

Kirishima nods.

“Do you need anything else before I leave? Do you want me to stay and hang out with you for a bit? We can do whatever you like.”

“Do you know anything about… websites?” Kirishima asks. “My family’s shop’s website is a… mess.”

“I actually have my own website,” Saji says. “I ship manga to people overseas.”

Kirishima raises his eyebrows. “Manga?”

“People don’t want to wait for the international version, if one even exists. As some titles have become available online, my sales have gone down some, but I specialize in the smaller publications that might not ever get licensed overseas. I do a pretty steady business. Can I see the website?”

Kirishima shows Saji his tablet.

Saji studies the website for a few minutes. He tries searching for it and frowns when it doesn’t appear at the top of the search results. “What kind of analytics are you running?”

“I’m not… sure. I have to ask… my siblings how… they set it up.”

“I have tomorrow off. I can bring my laptop; I’ve got some editing and analytical software that will help. But we’ll need passwords and permissions to access the analytics.”

“I’ll ask… in the morning. And I’ll text you… when I have… the information,” Kirishima says.

“Sounds good. Do you need anything else?” Saji asks.

Kirishima glances at the clock and shakes his head. “I guess I should… sleep some more. Don’t want my… schedule to get thrown off… too much. Thanks for… everything.”

Saji waves it off. “Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow.”

 

The next morning, Kazuko arrives early with Kirishima’s oldest brother Kiyoshi, Kiyoshi’s wife Megumi, and their son Kisho, but Kirishima is busy with his morning assessment, sponge bath, and dressing change. Megumi walks Kisho up and down the hall while they wait, while Kazuko and Kiyoshi wait in the corner of the room despite Kirishima’s protestations.

“What the hell happened to you, Kei?” Kiyoshi asks.

Kirishima freezes. He has no idea what Suoh told his mother. “I.. I… I can’t… really… remember,” Kirishima says, trying to stall for time.

Kazuko admonishes Kiyoshi. “Kiyo-chan, I already told you. Don’t make Kei-chan talk about it. I’m sure the car accident was very scary.”

“Car accident?” Kirishima asks blankly. _How is that supposed to explain the gunshot wound?_

Kazuko doesn’t notice the nurse and her assistant exchange glances over Kirishima’s bed. Kazuko gently explains, “You were crossing the street when you were hit by a delivery van running a red light.”

“Oh.” Kirishima blinks. _Well, that’s easy enough to remember. And since I don’t remember anything, it’s not weird if I get the details wrong._

 

Once the exam is over, Megumi returns with Kisho. Kiyoshi takes the boy’s hand and leads him over to the bed. “Kisho-chan, this is Kei-oji-san.”

Kirishima freezes. _Oji-san?_ He’s known that he’s an uncle for a while now, and he’s had other young people call him that on the street, but it’s weird to actually _be_ an uncle. He smiles awkwardly at Kisho. “Hi, Kisho-chan.”

Kisho clings to Megumi’s leg, hiding his face behind her knee.

“Go on, Kisho-chan,” Kazuko chides, trying to push him forward.

“Don’t… force him,” Kirishima says. “Kisho-chan… do you like…” He casts his eyes wildly around the room for something a child might like. “Balloons?” He tugs on the string of the balloon Takaba brought him.

Kisho nods and takes a step forward.

“You can… play with it,” Kirishima offers, holding the string down so Kisho can tug on it.

Kisho laughs when the balloon bobs up and down at his command. The string slips from his fingers, and Kirishima unties it from the bed and hands it to Kisho, who squeals with delight as he makes the balloon dance.

“What do you say, Kisho-chan?” Kiyoshi prompts.

“Thank you, Kei-’ji-chan,” Kisho says, smiling widely. He tugs on the string and catches the balloon in both hands, squeezing it as hard as he can.

“Be careful or you'll pop it,” Megumi warns.

“It's okay even if… he does,” Kirishima tells her. “It's not like I can... take it with me.”

“When are you leaving?” Kiyoshi asks.

“I don't know. As... soon as they say I can... travel.”

“When are you coming back?” Kazuko asks.

Kirishima tries to answer, but the words catch in his throat. _If I'm no longer working for Asami-sama, I can't come back to Japan._ _At least not for several years._ But Kirishima can't tell his mother that. How could he ever explain why?

He swallows and finally says, “I don't… know.” At least it's the truth. “I'll be there for… several months at least,” he adds.

Kazuko nods. “I'll try to come visit as soon as the summer festival season is over.”

Kirishima's eyebrows shoot up. His mother has only been overseas once, when she went to Hawaii for a week for her honeymoon, and if her stories are anything to judge by, she didn't make many fond memories.

Suoh walks in. “Hello, oba-san, Kiyoshi, Megumi-chan. And this must be Kisho-chan.”

Kisho takes one look at Suoh and tries to climb over the rail onto the bed. Megumi pulls him back down, but he continues to struggle.

“It’s okay,” Kirishima says, smiling. “If he’s on my... left side and can sit... still, it should be okay.”

Megumi looks skeptical but carefully lifts Kisho up and places him in the crook of Kirishima’s arm. Kisho pulls Kirishima’s arm across his own face, hiding Suoh from his view.

“You’re... scary, Kazu-nii,” Kirishima teases.

“Yeah, scawy,” Kisho’s muffled voice echoes.

Suoh frowns. “No, I’m not. I’m much nicer than Kei.”

“Kei-’ji-chan is nice! He gave Kisho a - a - a baboon!” Kisho insists, glaring over Kei’s arm at Suoh.

Suoh raises his hands. “Okay, okay. Yes, Kei is nice. But do you like…” Suoh fumbles in his pockets for anything interesting.  “- magic?” He raises a hand to Kisho’s ear. Kisho flinches but stays still. “I think there’s something in your ear,” Suoh says, pretending to pull out a one-hundred yen coin.

Kisho’s eyes widen. He holds out his hand, and Suoh gives him the coin. Kisho smiles widely up at Suoh and pops the coin into his mouth.

“Hey! Don't do that! Spit it out!” Suoh shouts, grabbing Kisho’s face and sweeping the coin out of his mouth.

Kisho starts bawling. Kirishima gives him a gentle squeeze. “It's okay… Kisho-chan. You can't… put money in your mouth… but you can use it to… buy things.”

“Buy?” Kisho asks.

Suoh holds out the coin again. “You give someone money, and they give you what you want. Let's see… Say you wanted this balloon. If you give me the coin, I'll give you the balloon.” Suoh grabs the balloon string while holding the coin closer to Kisho.

“Noooo! That's mine!” Kisho shouts, snatching the balloon from Suoh. “Kei-'ji-chan gave it to me!” Kisho glares at Suoh again.

By now, all the other adults in the room are laughing. Suoh sighs and stands over by the window.

“I can't handle kids,” he mutters. “Anyway, you've been cleared for travel, Kei. As long as things continue to go well today, you'll leave for America tomorrow.”

Kirishima gulps. _That's soon._ “How will I… pack my things?” he asks.

“I'll pack them for you with the help of some of the guys. I need to know what you want to take with you.”

“I… don't know,” Kirishima says, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. _I've got a day left in Japan, maybe for the rest of my life, and I'm spending it in a hospital bed. There are so many people and places I want to say goodbye to. Geinki. Showa Kinen Park. Musashino Art University. The yakiniku place. The urban forest in Setagaya. Tokawa's gym. The guys. The kimono shop. Dad. Kenta-nii and Kumiko-nee. Asami._

“I can help pack,” Kazuko offers.

Kirishima freezes. _No way. What if she finds my guns? Or my private stuff?_

Suoh comes to his rescue. “You should spend as much time as you can with Kei, oba-san. We’ll make sure he has everything he needs.”

Kazuko likes this idea. “Well, I can help pack up everything here,” she says, rearranging the items on the bedside table. “I should get a bag…”

“I think you can get one in the... gift shop,” Kirishima suggests.

“Kei, I’m sorry I can’t stay longer. I should get back to the shop,” Kiyoshi says.

“Wait…” Kirishima says. “I need to talk to you.”

After his mother has left, taking Megumi, Kisho, and the balloon with her, Kirishima gets all the information he can about the family website from Kiyoshi (which requires a phone call to Kenta, who was the one who set it up).

“Is it really that bad?” Kiyoshi asks.

“It doesn’t show up on… the first page… of search results,” Kirishima explains. “It should be… the very first… result.”

“But you can fix it?”

“Is the shop… doing that bad?” Kirishima asks.

Kiyoshi grimaces. “It’s not good. We’re barely staying afloat. If things get any worse, we’ll have to close within a year or two.”

Kirishima gasps. He had absolutely no idea.

“But that’s not for you to worry about,” Kiyoshi says.

“I can… help… with the business… side of things,” Kirishima resolves.

“You’ve got to focus on recovering,” Kiyoshi argues.

Suoh looks up from his tablet on which he’s been busy working. “If Kei wants to help, let him,” he tells Kiyoshi.

“But -”

“He’s always been more capable than you give him credit for. He helped Ryuichi build one of the largest entertainment corporations in East Asia from scratch.”

Kirishima blushes. Suoh rarely praises him.

Kiyoshi snaps, “You’re always trying to make me out to be the bad guy, Kazu-kun. Kei is _my_ brother. I _know_ how smart he is. I just want him to focus on getting better. He’s always taking on too much.”

Suoh raises his eyebrows as if to acknowledge the point, but he says, “It’s just one small thing. Kei’s a part of the family, too. Let him help.”

“I never said I wasn’t going to. I already gave him the passwords.”

“My friend… is going to help,” Kirishima explains. He sends a message to Saji. “It won’t be… too much, Kiyo-nii.”

“If it is, don’t worry about it. We can hire someone.” Kiyoshi pats Kirishima on the shoulder. “I really do have to get back. Heal quickly, and get your ass back to Japan. Then don’t be a stranger. Kisho-chan is going to cry until he can see his Kei-’ji-chan again. You’re already his favorite uncle.”

Kirishima raises his eyebrows in surprise. “More than Kenta-nii?” Kisho must see Kenta regularly.

Kiyoshi smirks. “Kisho-chan has never once called Kenta ‘chan.’ That kid fell in love with you at first sight.”

“More like… first balloon,” Kirishima acknowledges.

Kiyoshi laughs. “Megumi will bring Kisho-chan back to say goodbye. Let her know if he gets to be too much.” He shakes Kirishima’s hand and is soon out the door.

Once Kiyoshi is gone, Suoh pulls up Kirishima’s “just in case” documents every Sion employee fills out. “You updated your documents in April. Has anything changed since then?”

Kirishima considers the question for a long moment before shaking his head.

“You didn’t open any new accounts after meeting Motomi-san?” Suoh prods.

Kirishima flinches upon suddenly hearing Kou’s name. “I met Kou-san… before April,” Kirishima reminds Suoh.

“I know. But maybe you forgot to put them on your form.”

“I didn’t,” Kirishima says.

“Okay. I’ll make sure all your money gets transferred to America. Or would you like some of it offshore?”

“No. That’s… fine. I trust you.”

“Okay. The car belongs to the company. That leaves just the items in your apartment. Let’s start with the furnishings,” Suoh says.

“Give them to… one of the guys. Whoever… wants them.”

“What came with the apartment? What do we need to leave behind?”

“Nothing. I bought… the stove, the fridge, and... the washing machine.”

Suoh nods, taking notes on his tablet. “Okay. How about the kitchen? Anything you want to take from there?”

Kirishima groans. “I think… there’s food in the… fridge. It’s probably… rotten by now.”

“I already took care of that,” Suoh says. “What about the dishes? Anything special?”

Kirishima shakes his head. “Give it… away.”

“Okay. How about the shelves? Your books? Magazines?”

Kirishima thinks for a moment. “I don’t know. I can’t… remember.”

“You really don’t have that much. I’ll send it for you to go through later.”

Kirishima shrugs.

“Any artwork?”

“I don’t… have any.”

“Nothing from Motomi-san?” Suoh prods.

Kirishima flinches again, but he remembers the sketch Kou did of him their first morning together. He blushes a little and says, “Maybe… in one of the… drawers?”

“Do you want it?” Suoh asks.

“Of - of course!” Kirishima exclaims, immediately reddening at his own enthusiasm.

“Okay,” Suoh says, not even looking up

Suoh leads Kirishima through other categories of items until he finally ends with clothing. “Your suits?” he asks.

Kirishima considers for a moment. They were already getting too loose before the incident, and based on what everyone keeps saying when they see him, he’s lost even more muscle mass in the hospital. “They… probably won’t… fit anymore. Give them to… the guys,” he says.

Suoh nods. “I’ll pack the rest of your clothes. If you don’t have enough, I’ll buy you a few things.”

“That’s… okay,” Kirishima says.

“You’ll want real clothes at Kessler,” Suoh says, “and I don’t know how long it takes laundry service there.”

“I have… enough,” Kirishima says. “There’s a yukata… in my closet. Make sure… you pack it, please. And the… sakura t-shirt. And my… jeans. I’ll… order stuff in… America if I need to.”

Suoh finishes writing down Kirishima’s requests and stands up. “I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I’ll be back to see you off, Kei.”

“Don’t forget… my helmet and jacket,” Kirishima suddenly remembers.

“Kei…” Suoh says in his disapproving-older-brother tone that sounds remarkably similar to Kiyoshi’s.

“Kazumi,” Kirishima insists in a level tone. Suoh sighs and writes it down.

As Suoh heads once again towards the door, Kirishima calls, “Kazu-nii?” Once Suoh is focused on him, he says, “I don’t… suck at figuring out… honne.”

Suoh looks puzzled, but Kirishima doesn’t offer an explanation.

Suoh is almost out the door when Kirishima adds, “Tell Ryuichi to come… say goodbye. He owes me… at least that much.”

 

Kisho is an exhausting ball of energy, but Kirishima can’t bear the thought of sending him away, especially when Kisho looks up at him every other second with a giant, trusting grin and an enthusiastic “Kei-’ji-chan!”

Throughout the morning, most of the guys stop by in ones or twos for a brief visit and to wish Kirishima well. Kirishima asks a few who are into tricking to show Kisho their best (small) moves, and Saijo becomes almost as popular as Kirishima with the boy after Saijo demonstrates his monkey flip.

“Have you talked to Saji... today?” Kirishima asks Saijo while he’s taking a breather from monkey flipping.

“No,” Saijo says, not quite meeting Kirishima’s eyes. “Is something up?”

“Not really. He just… said he would… help me with something, but he’s… not answering my texts,” Kirishima explains.

“If I see him, I’ll tell him to check his phone. Sorry, I’ve got to get back to work. Good luck, Kirishima-san. Recover quickly and completely.”

After three more monkey flips, Saijo leaves. Kisho throws a tantrum after the ‘monkey man’ is gone, and Megumi glances at her watch. “It’s almost his naptime, and I’ve still got to feed him lunch. It was good to see you again, Kei-kun. I just wish the circumstances were more pleasant. Get better soon.”

“I want to stay with Kei-’ji-chan!” Kisho screams when he realizes he’s expected to go with his mother. He runs over to the bed and tries to climb up again.

Kirishima unties the balloon from the railing and hands it to Kisho. “You’ve got to take your… balloon home… now. It’s… tired and needs… to rest. Do you have… a good spot… where it can rest in your… room?”

Kisho thinks hard for a moment. “Yes, on my bed!”

Kirishima ties the balloon string around Kisho’s wrist. “Very good. I’ll… talk to you… soon,” he promises.

Kisho’s lower lip quivers. “When?” he demands.

“On video chat. How about… tomorrow?” Kei asks.

“Noooo! Today!”

“Okay. Today. After your nap.”

After they link pinkies and exchange a warm hug,  Kisho follows his mother out.

“You look exhausted. Do you want lunch before you sleep?” Kazuko worries.

Kirishima shakes his head. He can’t imagine doing anything _but_ sleep right now.

Takaba enters the room. His eyes shift to Kirishima’s bedrail and then quickly glance away.

“Sorry… I gave your… balloon to my… nephew,” Kirishima explains.

“No problem,” Takaba says. “I’m sure a little kid will enjoy it more anyway. It looks like he wiped you out. Should I come back later?”

“Yes, please,” Kirishima agrees. Takaba turns to go, but Kirishima adds, “Come… when Asami-sama does. But maybe… don’t tell him. I need to talk… to you both.”

 

The visitors start again during Kirishima’s lunch. The first knock comes when he’s enjoying his second mouthful of rice. He looks up and groans when he sees Kurebayashi-sensei standing in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from "Walk On" by U2.


End file.
